3So, this whacky one shot was co-written by myself and Perice Jean in one of our PMs about how Race and Albert aren't the most responsible newsies out there. One thing lead to another and here we are. Thanks/shout out to Perice Jean for letting me write this, and for making me laughing during the whole conversation. Go check out her stoires if you haevn't already casue they're amazing and always make me laugh. Just a little note, by this point in the timeline the Alblyn ship has sailed (I'm SO close to finishing the one shot where they get together I promise!). As usual I must say that I don't own Newsies, only OCs and I hope you enjoy this!
"And that's the last of the boxes," Race announced happily as he collapsed onto the bed with a sigh. The blonde boy looked around the small room that only had a desk, chair, bed frame, mattress, and a bunch of labeled boxes with who knows what. That's right, Race and Albert have officially graduated from high school and were now in college (surprisingly enough). Some of the other newsies, plus the girls had helped the boys move from the Lodging House to the door room. It was both a sad sight that the nightmare twins were moving out, but also nice because there wouldn't be as much trouble as there used to be. But that was also another sad part.
"It ain't the Lodge, but it'll due," Albert added with a smile on his face. "At least I won't have to deal with Elmer usin' me as a landin' pad anymore."
"And I won't have to deal with you snorin'," Elmer retorted. But secretly, he was sad inside because what was once a bedroom filled with four boys was now one. No more being bothered by Specs' reading lamp. Or Race's wake up call. Albert's annoying ways. It was all just Elmer now.
"Good luck dealin' with the new rugrats," Race teased with a smirk.
This of course made Elmer speechless. He had forgotten that little detail. With all the oldest boys moving onto college and soon enough they'd out grow the system that is foster care, it meant they didn't have to live at the Lodge anymore and new boys would soon enter the Lodge.
"Say what ya want Elm, but I'm gonna miss 'em suckers," Brooklyn said with a slightly saddened smile as she took Albert's hand into her own.
"Hey, I'm only a couple hours away doll face," Albert replied as he gave Brooklyn hand a tight squeeze.
"I'm perfectly fine with it if it means I don't have to see that anymore," Mush stated with the disapproving brother glare. Which of course earned himself a hard smack upside the head from Feister.
"Well I'm not," Romeo said with a little huff. "How the hell am I gonna survive high school?! You two were my ticket out of bein' fresh meat."
"UGH, stop makin' me feel old," Race groaned. He still couldn't believe his baby brother was going to be a freshman soon. What happened to the scrawny little boy that would always curl up by his side when things got scary? "Go back to middle school, will ya," he said while ruffling the younger boy's hair.
"Rome, if someone picks on ya, they got me to answer too," Feister said while punching her fist. To which Mush gently pushed down while saying, "Yeah...how bout a fist fight is the last resort."
"I still can't believe you two are - which reminds me!" Davey said before digging into his backpack and pulled out a little potted plant that had round leaves while saying, "Congratulations on getting into college instead of jail!" with a happy smile.
"Aww thanks Dave," Race said with a bright smile.
"Let's name it George!" Albert practically yelled. No one really questioned why the plant had a name, or more importantly why "George" of all things. But, then again, this is Albert after all, and Race agreeing didn't help either. And so, George the plant sat in the window sill, soaking in the sun as Race and Albert went about their college life.
"Here ya go George. Have some delicious lemonade," Race said happily as he watered George. He didn't have any actual water handy, and was too lazy to go all the way to the water fountain, so this was the next best choice. Besides, there is water in lemonade after all. So it's not like he's doing any actual harm. Plus, George probably gets tired of drinking water all the time.
"Race what the hell are you doin'!?" Albert exclaimed as he walked into the door room to see Race was watering George with lemonade. "Not with liquor, Redbull works quicker - yesh, Kath's in another state and she's still gettin' me," Albert trailed off before moving Race to the side and gave George a little Redbull. "Gotta keep your energy up and runnin' George," the redhead said happily before taking a quick sip of the energy drink.
"I think he likes it," Race said as he looked at George with a proud smile. "We're great at plant care!"
"More like the most amazing plant parents ever to walk the earth!" Albert exclaimed happily.
Over the next few days, Race and Albert would give George soda, energy drinks, and basically whatever they had on hand instead of actual water. And, they thought they were doing George a favor, but sadly, after giving the plant some coke, did it finally shrivel up and die. The two boys stood at the window, looking down at the little brown plant in silence before Albert said, "Maybe he was more of a Pepsi kind of guy."
Just then, Race's phone started ringing. The blonde boy went and picked it up, thinking it was Romeo panicking about the life that his high school, but to his surprise it was - "DAVEY! Yeah, everything's fine! Nope, nothin' wrong whatsoever. How's life at Harvard?! Un-hu, un-hu. Y-you're comin' to visit?" Race asked nervously. "You wanna stop by here fore goin' to see your...no, no that'll be fine. Al and I missed hearin' all bout your snake facts. I'm not nervous, just tired from cramming in all the knowledge. Ya know how life at community college is. Well not all of us are smart enough to get into Harvy Ya know! Ok bye Davey, see ya soon." Race hung up the phone, looked Albert dead in the eyes and said, "We have to get a new plant! Davey's gonna freak if he finds out we killed George!"
With that being said, Race and Albert grabbed their things and headed to the nearest plant store to buy another George. Only problem was finding the exact plant they killed. There were a lot that sort of looked like George. But none that looked like George. After almost twenty minutes later they found a replacement plant. They paid for it and ran back to the door room. Hid all evidence of the dead plant and put George the second in George the first's place.
"As you can see Dave, George is alive and doin' well!" Race said as he pointed to the little potted plant.
"You mean you didn't water it with high sugary drinks?" Davey asked with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, Jack did tell me the story about how Race killed Susan," he added. "You do know that you're not supposed to water a succulent plant every other day, right?"
"Well how was I supposed to know!?" Race yelled in defense. Davey was about to say something, but Albert interpreted.
"I'm offended that you have such little faith in us," Albert said while crossing his arms, while thinking about how the hell did Davey know they were doing that?! Did he have second sense like a girl? Because Albert has witnessed Freckles read his mind on the spot. Which raises the question of "are girls secretly aliens sent down to - " and that's when he usually gets interrupted about how stupid he is.
"No, I just owe Jack thirty-five bucks. He said you two would've killed the plant, I said that even though you two are seven year olds in a grown body that you would at least have some common sense to take care of a measly plant."
"Davey Jacobs made a bet?!" Race yelled. "And I wasn't there to witness such a momentous occasion?!" the blonde boy couldn't believe his ears. Davey, The Walkin' Mouth Jacobs had made a bet! And he wasn't the one who corrupted him to do so?! What has the world come too?!
"Hey Race, George is lookin' a little thirsty," Albert said as he examined the plant. "When was the last time ya watered it?" the redhead questioned. Ever since Davey's little visit, the two boys were sure to never again give George anything besides water. Which of course lead them to put off watering since they never had any in hand.
"I dunno," Race shrugged. "Didn't you water him?"
"No," Albert replied. "That's why I'm askin' you." the two boys looked at each other, then looked at George and shrugged before going on with college life.
In the next two weeks, George the second dried up from lack of water. And while they weren't going to get another plant, word came that Romeo and Brooklyn were paying a visit. So, after a quick dash to the plant store for George the third, Romeo and Brooklyn didn't suspect a thing, and all was well. Race and Albert were sure to water George the third with actual water this time. But, to their surprise, there was a thing called "over watering". George the third wilted, yet, Race and Albert still had hope to save the plant. So, they turned up the heat in hopes that would solve the problem.
It didn't.
George the third well...he was dropping down at an odd angle.
"George the fourth?" Albert asked.
"George the fourth," Race nodded in reply. And so, it was back to the plant store. Only this time, the moment they walked inside, an employee said, "I was starting to wonder if you two would come here again. Come right up to the register, your new plant is waiting for you behind the counter." Race and Albert looked at each other with the same confused expression as they followed the employee.
Over the next four years of college Race and Albert ended up killing five more plants. George the fourth got frostbite after a window was left open during the cold season. George the fifth was the victim of being squashed by a heavy book after being moved from the window to Race's desk. George the sixth wasn't better off at Albert's desk after a beer can fell on him by accident. George the seventh ended up getting sick somehow. George the eighth was eaten by some squirrel when the window was left open. And finally, George the ninth was run over by a chair after falling off the window sill. After their college days, Race and Albert found a small apartment within the Lower East Side. They had bought George the tenth right before moving day. But sadly, George the ninth had a short life. Putting the plant inside a box of clothes was the safest bet, but it somehow crashed into a heavy box and snap went George the ninth.
"This is gettin' ridiculous," Albert sighed as he entered the plant store with Race. "Let's just give up on takin' care of a stupid plant."
"Are ya outta your mind Al!?" Race exclaimed. "Do ya want the fellas to know we killed ten plants?! For once they all see us as responsible adults that can take care of somethin' so easy as a potted plant."
"They don't need to know it was ten plants," Albert replied. And before anything else was said, the two boys spotted a familiar face among the mini plant section. "What the hell is Davey doin' here?" Albert whisper yelled as he ducked down behind the flower pots with Race.
"Obviously startin' a mini garden," Race replied as he watched Davey carefully look through the mini plants.
"Good point," Albert replied. "But the question is, outta all the plant stores this city holds, he just had to come to the one we're at this very moment." this would without a doubt complicate things. How in the world were they going to get George the tenth with Davey there?!
"Hey! Have some faith Albie," Race said. "We're infamous for not getting caught. Remember?"
"How could I forget," Albert replied with a sly smirk. "We get in and get out like nothin' is even wrong." with that being said, the two boys did their handshake before crawling away. Yes, this did get them some weird looks from other people who were at the store, but this was the least of their problems. Surprisingly enough, the two boys made it to the mini plant section without getting caught. So after scoping the area they both stood up. Race grabbed George the tenth, he sent a look to Albert, who nodded while saying, "We're home free."
"What're you two doing here?" a voice said, making Race and Albert jump up in shock, while George the tenth went airborne. But luckily, Albert caught the potted plant with a sigh of relief.
"Davey!" Race exclaimed in a high pitched tone. "What a lovely surprise runnin' into you of all people at this plant shop," the blonde added with a casual smile.
"Hi," Davey replied. "So...what brings you here?" he asked with a bright smile.
"Oh, you know just gettin' George a lady friend," Race replied as he gently petted the little plant that Albert was holding. "He's gettin' real lonesome ya know."
"So...you're going to crossbreed a plant?" Davey asked. It was obvious something was up. After all, Davey has had to go through this with Les more times than he would've liked. Plus, Race and Albert can make it pretty obvious they're lying when caught off guard. "Because you're holding a male plant," he pointed out.
"We're actually here gettin' George a bro, because apparently Race wants a bro he can be single with," Albert quickly replied. "Ya know, so he can do bro stuff with." the redhead leaned closer to Davey and whisper, "I think he's bitter cause I's got me a girl and he don't."
"Heard that and I'm not bitter!" Race pouted as he crossed his arms.
"Plants don't do that…." Davey trailed off.
"You're right Davey," Albert said. "We're not here to find George a mate or a bro. We're actually gettin' another plant for the place to spice things up a bit. Ya know how it is after unpackin' everythin' and not seein' cardboard everywhere."
"Funny, because Brooklyn was telling me how excited she was to start looking at paint swatches before helping out with the actual decorating," Davey pointed out.
"Oh...did she tell you that?" Albert asked nervously. He had forgotten all about that tiny detail. Curse his girlfriend's innocently cute excited ways! "But the spicin' up the apartment is true ya know."
"Didn't you just move in a few days ago?" Davey asked. "Last time I checked, you two didn't unpack after moving into your door room until you needed something. It would make more sense if you unpacked then decorated." for the next few minutes Race and Albert kept on making up some sort of crazy story, but Davey would point out something at every turn.
"Ok! You wanna know why we're here?!" Race asked loudly. Clearly he cracked under pressure that Davey has not accepted any of the past excuses. "We're here because it's impossible to take care of a measly plant! This is the eleventh plant we're gettin' and counting!" Race's eyes widened the moment while Albert chuckled nervously.
"Wow...that's….hilarious," Davey exclaimed while laughing.
"It is?" Race and Albert asked in confusion.
"Don't worry, I'm not mad you killed George the first, I'm actually terrible at taking care of plants myself."
"You are?" Race and Albert asked in even more confusion. They would both think that Davey, The Walkin' Mouth Jacobs, would be amazing at plant care since he's smart and all.
"Yeah…," Davey replied shyly. "I'm actually here to replace a plant my mom gave me as a housewarming gift. I kept it beside my reading chair so I wouldn't forget about it. But, you can see how well that turned out. By the time I noticed the plant, it was dead as a doornail." and with that being said, the three boys had a good laugh about how they're all horrible at taking care of a measly little plant, and to never keep a secret about it either. So, after a good laugh, the three boys parted ways. Davey went home with a new plant while Race and Albert brought home George the eleventh. Who died about a week later after Race jumped off the kitchen table, squashing George the eleventh flat after (for some odd reason) a rousing tap number.
"Hey Al, how bout we swear off takin' care of anymore plants," Race said as he picked up a pancaked George the eleventh.
"Good idea," Albert replied with a nod. Yet, the apartment felt kind of empty without having a plant around for some odd reason. George was apart of their little...not exactly bachelor pad because in Race's words, SOMEONE (Albert) has a girlfriend. So after a couple of weeks, the two boys decided to get another plant. Only this time, it's a fake one that doesn't need any care whatsoever. They still named it George so not to raise any suspicion among the newsies.
"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to mourn the life of George," Davey said in a solemn voice while Race and Albert bowed their heads in respect of their fallen plant. How fake George died was because Race and Albert were still in real plant mood. And by that, I mean they watered George and put him on the window sill to catch some sunlight. But of course, something went wrong and fake George fell out of the window. Apparently the two boys found it only fit to hold a funeral in George's memory. The (fake) plant was buried in a little patch of grass behind their apartment building, and they invited Davey to give the eulogy. They all even dressed up in black to really make it official. "George was an extraordinary plant, who had a long, long, long, life to live for. But sadly, he was taken too soon."
"Race? Are you actually cryin'?" Albert asked when he heard a few sniffs come from the blonde boy.
"Yes I am!" Race replied. He wasn't ashamed to admit he was indeed crying. In his defense, it was for a good reason. "The question is why aren't you?! George was our friend ya know! Show some respect you heartless ginger!"
"Quit bein' a wimp," Albert said brushing it off. "I'm sad George is dead too, but ya don't see me brawlin' like a little girl."
"How's this for brawlin'?!" Race asked as he proceeded to tackle Albert to the ground. The two of them started to brawl it out right then and there.
Davey started to panic as he went in to break the two boys apart. Which was easier said then done because somehow Davey ended up in the scuffle. Ugh! How did Jack ever manage to put up with this all the time? Davey had to wonder as he somehow pulled Race off of Albert. "There, that wasn't so hard," Davey thought to himself. "Knock it off you two, alright?!" Davey said in a stern tone. Things seemed to go quiet after he spoke. A small satisfied smile appeared on Davey's face. It really wasn't as hard to pull Race and Albert apart as he thought it would've been. He didn't know why Jack would always complain about the nightmare twins. It really wasn't any different from when Les would misbehave.
"Hold 'im steady Davey while I scuff up that face only a mother could love!" Albert said as he went into punch Race. To say the least, Race's response to that was a knee in the gut before he easily broke free from Davey's grip. "You're gona pay for that Higgins!" Albert shouted as he quickly recovered from the pain.
"Over my dead body you soulless ginger!" Race yelled back as he clutched his fits together.
Ok so maybe it wasn't as simple as Davey thought it would be. He sighed heavily as he once again went into break them apart. "Remind me again why you two are best friends?!" Davey yelled with a groan. Seriously, it was like trying to tame wild monkeys at the zoo. Actually scratch that because let's be honest here. Monkeys are much easier to tame than Race and Albert.
"You're ok right? Nothing bad happened? What did you do this time? Why are your knuckles bruised? Were you not paying attention when you went to grab a toaster waffle and burned your hand on the rack? Because I told you to use a spatula!" Brooklyn rambled in a worried tone as she examined Albert's messed up hand that was wrapped with gauze. She could see little red blotches coming through the white cloth. While his face wasn't much better. A slightly bruised eye and a gash on the side of his temple. "What did you do this time?"
"I'm offended you have such little faith in me for kitten safety," Albert teased with a smirk, But it was sweet she was so concerned.
"If any of you need me I'll be checkin' myself into a room," Mush said as he tried to leave the room. But Feister grabbed Mush by the back of his shirt and yanked her him back.
"Why in the world is your face more ugly than usual Racer?" Mush asked. There was really no reason for him to be here...oh wait...he has his love sick sister to thank for this little visit to the ER. But in all truth, Race was pretty messed up. His face was well...his bottom lip was puffed out, there were little bruises and scraps here and there, while his forehead and hands were wrapped in gauze.
"Oh ha, ha, ha," Race replied in a deadpanned voice. "You really got me laughin' my guts out here Mushy."
"And what the hell is that red stain on your shirt Davey?" Mush asked as he turned to the older boy.
In that moment, Davey, Race and Albert all started talking over each other in an attempt to explain why they had bodily harm and a red stained shirt. It even got to the point where there was no possible way that a blood red alien came down from Mars and tried to capture Davey as a human experiment. Race having to fight of a billion marshes where he ended up getting hit in the face with a space rock while Albert was busy punching out the beams that was holding Davey captive. When in fact this only happened because Race and Albert ended up having a brawl during George's funeral and Davey had to separate them and take a little trip to the ER. But Mush, Feister and Brooklyn didn't need to know that.
All was silent in the hospital room until Feister said, "Another nightmare twin fight and Davey took ya bummers here to get patched up fore ya killed each other." the three boys all looked at one another and quickly nodded their heads. It technically was true. Race and Albert did have a fight and Davey took them to the ER before things got worse. Anyways, after that day, Race and Albert really did swear off from taking care of any plants after that.
"Heya fellas!" Crutchie smiled happily as he ran into the room with Les right behind him. "How're you feelin'?" he asked.
"Better," Race replied. "We're gettin' outta here by the end of the week!" the blonde boy added happily with a big smile.
"We got ya somethin'!" Les added with a laugh.
"Is it chocolate chip cookies from Schmackyer's?" Albert asked hopefully. "Hospital sweets don't really cut it for my very strict need of sugar."
Crutchie looked over at Les, who nodded in response as he reveal a potted plant that was hiding behind his back. "It's a little get well soon gift!" Crutchie exclaimed with a happy smile. Needless to say, Race and Albert started to panic and passed out in a split second at the thought of having to take care of yet another plant.
"Are they ok?" Les asked as he looked over at Davey.
"Of course they are," Davey replied as the room started to heat up a bit. "They passed out from excitement...well this has been a nice visit but you two should probably go," Davey said as he ushered the two boys out of the room. He then grabbed the plant while saying, "I'll just put this on the windowsill. Now you two run along." and with that, Davey closed the door and let out a deep sigh. A few minutes later, a nurse came by to check up on Race and Albert, who were still passed out. So the nurse decided to come by later, but not before Davey handed her the plant and said, "A little something for a working nurse of New York." the nurse smiled and gave her thanks before leaving the room. Once again, Davey sighed in relief. Happy that this whole thing was finally over.
Author's note
This is usually where I say what my favorite parts were, but honestly I enjoyed every single thing that happened in this whack-fest. You've got the two most irresponsible newsies and the mom friend. I was laughing so much when I wrote this. I knew how chaotic it was going to be, but when it came to writing it down, it just became funnier (which I didn't think was possible). Besides all that, I've got a couple of one shots lined up to be posted in the next month or so, including getting the Albyn ship to sail (which should hopefully come sooner than later). And my younger Feister story, which should be coming in like early June(?). You've still got plenty of time to request something, and if you do just please send an age (6 to 13). It's just easier for me when figuring out the smaller details. Now that I've given a little update on what's to come, all I have to say is thanks again to Perice Jean for letting me write this, thanks to everyone for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
