4This takes place after the failed sheet-hug, which I think took place in chapter 109.
So I asked for prompts a while ago on tumblr, and I just got the inspiration for the prompt "I just need a hug," suggested by at whatthehorsedoicallthisblog. Enjoy!
Kyo can hear the first time she sniffles.
He feels his ears perk at the unwelcome sound and almost immediately he's put on edge, wondering if there might be some punk from school he needs to punch some respect into.
He sits up in bed and waits a couple of minutes just to see if it will dissipate—perhaps he's wrong and she's just getting sick.
Only when he hears her let out a soft whimper, followed by a deep breath and a shaky sigh, does he know for sure this is not something as simple as a stuffy nose.
He closes his eyes, steeling himself, before climbing out of bed.
He pads quietly down the hall and carefully peeks through the cracked door when he gets to her room. What he sees makes his heart ache.
She's crying as she sits in her bed, her arms resting on top of her bent knees, with her face buried in her arms. He sees her body shaking slightly from the quiet sobs.
He can hear her attempting to take careful, even breaths, but they keep getting interrupted by sniffles and hiccups.
She always so optimistic, Kyo thinks, not for the first time. She always acts so strong, but how often is she just a little push away from breaking down completely? How long does she hold everything in until it comes out like this? Why does she think she has to do this all alone?
The thought of her having to bear all of her burdens by herself, knowing she has always been there to help him through his troubles, gives Kyo the courage he needs to lightly knock on the cracked door.
"Tohru?" he calls softly, and sees her stiffen as her head shoots up to look towards her door.
She wipes her face quickly before removing her arms from her knees and straightening her legs across the mattress.
"H-hi, Kyo," she greets him shakily, but with a small smile. A strained smile. "Wh-why are you up so late?"
He opens the door a little bit wider, and she gestures for him to come in her bedroom. He ends up standing awkwardly next to her bed.
"I heard you crying," Kyo says firmly, but still gently. He doesn't want to beat around the bush, not when she's so clearly upset.
"Oh," she says, as she looks at her hands that have fallen into her lap.
After a moment she looks back up at him, attempting a smile that makes Kyo's stomach knot.
"I'm sorry you felt like you have to worry over me, but I'm f-fine Kyo, really! Go ahead and go back to bed." As she says this, another tear falls down her cheek, clearly without her permission, and she turns her head quickly to wipe it away.
"You're not okay," Kyo says, carefully sitting next to her, his legs hanging over the mattress's edge. "And stop apologizing, I'm here because I want to be."
He goes to reach for one of her hands, but loses his nerve as his own falls flat on the mattress next to her.
"You wanna talk about it?" he asks her gently.
She shakes her head a bit, letting out a choked laugh. "It's nothi—"
"Don't say it's nothing," he interrupts, not about to play that silly game. "You're crying, so it must be something."
She looks away from him and brings her hand up to her forehead, resting it there for a moment before wiping away another tear.
"It's just..." she starts, but hesitates. She glances up at him and Kyo finds himself leaning toward her.
"It's just... my mom, Kyo. I just started thinking about how I couldn't believe it's been two years, and I got too caught up in my head. It just..." she sniffles lightly, "...happens sometimes. I miss her."
Meaning this has happened before and she had to deal with it alone, Kyo concludes, feeling a bit angry with himself. And with her. Why can't she see she has so many people around her that would happily help her carry some of the weight she puts on her shoulders?
A few more tears run down her cheeks as she turns away again, and Kyo feels his fingers flex against the blanket as he leans toward her.
"What can I do?" he asks, voice a bit louder than necessary, but he's desperate to make her tears stop and to bring a real smile back to her face.
Her eyes widen slightly, apparently surprised by his outburst. "I..." she begins and sighs, looking away from him again and back down to her fingers in her lap.
"What?" Kyo jumps on her hesitation.
"You... can't really help me right now, Kyo," she says sadly, and brings her hand up to her cheek to wipe away another tear. He might have believed her if he couldn't see the faint longing glistening in her eyes.
Kyo tries not to let his inner frustration show. "I might if you'd just tell me what I can do to make you feel better."
She shakes her head and looks up at him through damp eyelashes and a sad smile.
"I just... I wish I could hug you right now, Kyo."
Kyo blinks, having not expected that answer.
When it registers, his first instinct is to try to stutter out a response through a furious blush, initially bringing up a hand to hide part of his face.
But he halts his hand halfway to his forehead, and closes his fumbling mouth, though there isn't much he can do about his blushing cheeks.
Instead, he takes a deep breath before letting his hand flop next to her on the mattress, turning his palm up; an invitation, if she'd take it.
He blows out the breath he'd been holding. "I... I wish I could hug you right now too."
She nods her head, her sad smile brightening the tiniest bit as she slowly places her fingers in his.
He doesn't fully grasp her hand, instead just loosely hooks their fingers around each other, and she nods slightly, seeming to understand.
Just so you know I'm here.
"Would you like me to...um...maybe sit with you for a bit?" Kyo asks her, trying not to let his embarrassingly heated face overwhelm him. His need to comfort her overrides any awkwardness he may currently feel.
Tohru sends him a soft but grateful smile before scooting over on the bed and patting the empty spot next to her.
Without letting go of her hand he scoots his way to her side. Regretfully, he stops about half a foot away from her, careful not to get too close.
Tohru though, doesn't seem to want to heed his unspoken warning. Instead, she scoots as close as she can to him, nearly pressing herself against his side.
He shuts his eyes tightly, waiting for the poof of smoke to come, but to his surprise it never does.
After a few seconds, apparently deeming it safe enough, Tohru fully slides her hand into his, and brings her other arm across her body to hook her free hand into the crook of his elbow. She brings him as close to her as she can, essentially hugging his arm. She sets their joined hands on his leg.
Kyo is frozen by her sudden act of closeness and affection, caught off-guard by both her boldness and his current state of not-turning-into-a-cat.
After a moment he feels her rest a tear-stained cheek against his shoulder, and the two of them begin to settle against her pillows.
She sighs in contentment. "Is this okay?"
Like he could say no to her. "Y-Yeah this is fine. How are you feeling?"
"I'm still a little sad," she says softly, "But... it's nice to have you here with me."
Kyo looks at their conjoined hands resting on his thigh. He rubs a single circle into the back of her hand with his thumb. He relaxes a little bit, and a comforting warmth flows him. "I'm glad."
A few minutes of silence go by, and Kyo notices Tohru's sniffles have stopped. He looks down at her and sees her eyes are closed.
He shuts his own eyes, feeling his face contort as he begins to feel the warmth swirling in him turn into overwhelming guilt.
He curses inwardly, angry that this is the moment the guilt he feels everyday decides to flare. Of course it would make it so he could never enjoy a moment like this with her.
I'm so sorry, he thinks, definitely not for the first time and definitely not for the last. I'm so, so sorry I wasn't able to save her. But by God I promise I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you'll let me...Tohru.
I hope enjoyed! Make sure to drop me a comment!
