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103 Lavender Fables

Family Friendly Fables Featuring Furry Femmes

Tiny Tales That Teach Tolerance

By, C.D. Overstreet

Question: if you kissed a girl and you liked it, did you kiss her because you thought you would like it, or did you only like it after you kissed her?

Introduction

A fable is a story meant to teach a lesson through unlikely events like gods and talking animals who can do things without that would be taboo for a human mixed with humor. Suspension of disbelief. It is one of the oldest and most effective teaching methods ever devised. Though the intent of the author may not match the lesson the person hearing the fable actually learns. Not only are later interpretations often far different than the original intent, but the version later people hear is often far different than the one attributed to the storyteller came out with and it is unlikely that with the exception of translators and mythology professors, the average person will ever know the first version of the stories.

The Grimm Brothers were German, yet the English versions of their stories often contain rhymes which rhyme… in English. The average copy of the 1001 Nights contains a few dozen stories out of hundreds. Aesop has been said to be not one but many Greeks/Romans, their stories collected together under one name. Mother Goose can appear as a kindly old lady in a witch's hat holding a good or a goose in the same hat. And nearly all of the best stories can be traced back to oral traditions going back even further than the official versions. Later changed due to society, politics, and personal opinion. So most of the stories are left without you being told what my version of the moral is supposed to be, allowing you, mart person that you are who bought this book, to figure it out and write it in the space at the end of the story.

We all know the original fairy tales were dark and bloody and had a lot fewer survivors than those told to children today. Entire libraries have been burned to destroy stories that threatened the status quo. The authors often meeting the same fate. Those that could not be eliminated were tidied up and removed anything that contradicted established traditions and modes of thought. Then when society changes, so do the stories.

The fables in here are meant to be fine for the whole family while at the same time dealing with subjects that might bother some parents. But it was Aesop who used his stories to point out that trying to please everyone ends up pleasing nobody, so nuts to that. I simply hope that these tales will entertain and educate to the best of my meager abilities as a storyteller. If they also happen to enrage some people, so be it. The people who have a problem with this sort of thing should be made as angry as possible. Everyone else should just enjoy it.

As it is I consider this sort of revenge for all the stories wiped out, censored, or simply ignored for being inconvenient. While the stories here are all clean and completely appropriate for all ages, save for anything inside your own head, they certainly do fall into categories of "subversive".

Mwahahahaha!

The Ugly Duck

One day two ducks came across a strange egg and finding nobody around to claim it took it as their own and hatched it. The baby that came out was very like a duck, yet somehow different. There was a bill, webbed feet, and fluffy down just like any other duckling, but she was not quite the same as the others. She was bigger and a different color and her voice was just not the same. As she grew instead of brown and green her feathers came in pure white and her neck stretched like a snake.

She was, her parents suspected, a swan. But she was their daughter and they wanted to keep her and protect her. So whenever their flock came across other swans they would detour her far away from them. They would cover her eyes with their wings and distract her. Whenever she asked why she was different and the other ducklings picked on her they would come up with answers about how she was just a very strange duck and told her she just needed to do her best to fit in. She loved her parents and did as they said, no matter how strange she felt. She trusted them.

As she grew she became more beautiful and the leader of the flock desired her. Her parents were overjoyed and soon the two were mated. It made little difference to her. All she wanted was to please her parents and if she felt slightly off, well they knew best.

One day the ducks were feasting at a pond when two swans landed nearby. By this time the swan among the ducks was much bigger than her fellows and all grown up. Nothing the ducks could do could stop her from seeing the two newcomers and realizing that they looked the same as her. The other swans saw her and swam over.

"Why are you here, among these ducks?" One asked.

Flustered she said, "Because I am a duck."

The swans laughed in beautiful voices. She felt her heart flutter. The second said, "You are a swan. Didn't anyone ever tell you?" They swam forward and without thinking they twined their necks together, their white feathers shining in the sun. "You should come with us."

The swan's duck husband swam over quacking angrily. "No! You can't have her, she's mine. It doesn't matter if she's a swan or a duck, you can't have her."

The swan honked angrily. "You knew?" Angry at realizing that she had been lied to she raised a wing and swatted down on the flock leader. A swan can break a human's arm with a blow of its wing. Her husband sank and did not come back up.

As she joined the other swans, feeling like she was where she truly belonged for the first time, the swan heard her duck parents lamenting their loss. Her father said, "If only she had never seen those swans. They ruined everything."

She stopped and looked back at them. "You are wrong. They did not make me a swan. They only showed me that a swan is what I always was." Together the three spread their white wings and flew into the sky, leaving the ducks behind.

The Uncertain Vixen

A young vixen went up to an older female fox and confessed, "It is my first mating season and I feel strange. I find myself uninterested in males and attracted to females. I am not sure that's right. It scares me. How do I make myself be normal? Is there a cure?"

"I felt the same way at your age," the older fox admitted. "I was told that the best way to get over it was to practice abstinence and that in time those feelings would go away and more natural urges would take their place."

The young fox nodded and left, intending to follow the advice. But three weeks later she found the older vixen again. "I've tried to abstain, but it is not working. The urges just grow and now I'm almost mad with need."

The older vixen nodded. "I understand. I have some good news and bad news. The bad news is that abstinence never really works for anyone."

"What is the good news?"

"I'm free this evening, if you'd care to join me in my den for dinner." She smiled and nuzzled the young vixen, licking her cheek. Then she turned, brushing her tail against the vixen's fur, heading for her den with the nervous but eager young fox quickly followed after on shaky legs.

The Flock of Seagulls

There was once a seagull that lived in a flock. A small part of the flock was made up of all females that did not want to mate with the males. The rest of the flock was males and females who did mate and jeered and taunted the single females, pecking and otherwise assaulting them. The seagull in question truthfully was like the small group, but she did not want to be excluded from the bigger group and picked on, so she pretended to be like the bigger group and often joined them in harassing the smaller group.

One day though she forgot herself when a particularly beautiful female waddled past and let out a mating cry. The other seagulls immediately knew she was like the smaller group and turned on her, pecking her and driving her away. Hurt and afraid she tried to join the smaller group, but they remembered her insults and refused to let her join them. As they chased her away one said, "If you had been your true self you might have had less friends, but they would have been real. Because you were false to everyone and were afraid to risk yourself you now have none."

The Flower and the Queen Bee

Once upon a time a young flower bud was just coming into her own when a man came along and spotted her potential. He carefully dug her up and told her how beautiful she would be. He put her in a pot and gave her everything she needed to flourish. There was some pain too. He would occasionally pluck a leave or bud he felt did not make her perfect and the flower accepted this, because by then she had no choice and was generally happy.

Finally the bud bloomed and as the man had predicted, for he did have some experience with this, she was a gorgeous and beautiful flower. He took her out to flower shows and showed her off. He won many awards and the flower felt beautiful and loved.

But now that he was done with her the flower was put behind a window. She was given sun and water, but was neglected more and more her beautiful petals began to wither around the edges. She realized that now that he was done with her the man no longer cared and his neglect would only grow until she was nothing but a withered husk of her former self. But she saw nothing she could do about it and sadly began to accept it and every day she still opened her petals and tried to be as beautiful as she could. She stared out the window and wondered what else she would have been if she had never met the man and had lived free in the wild with the other flowers and the bees.

Meanwhile a young queen bee had recently left her hive because if she had not she and her mother would have killed each other. She had been planning to settle down with a drone and have a few million children, but as she flew along she passed the window with the flower. The sight of it entranced her and she could also catch the flower's scent through the small openings and this inflamed her even more. She flew into the glass several times, unable to find a way to the flower.

From that day on she buzzed around the flower's window, just waiting. Sometimes she would wander off with other, lesser flowers, but while they satisfied her temporarily, none attracted her like the one in the window. Even as it got older with darker edges and her scent got heavier, the bee just became more infatuated. As she aged though she learned patience and maturity. So rather than bang her head on the window she waited.

One day just as she hoped the window was opened. The man had gotten sick of the flower just taking up space, even though she did her best to be pretty, which was what he wanted from her in the first place. He had other buds he wanted to plant and as far as he was concerned she was just taking up space. So he set her out on the window sill and left her there.

The flower was sad, but the bee was not. She immediately flew to the flower's petals and buried herself in them. She caressed their softness and nibbled the hard edges. The flower, aged as it was, smelled much better and more intense than any she had been with before and she loved it. The nectar was better too and the queen bee found everything she could ever want or need. And the flower found that the love and touch of the young bee perked her up as well, far more than the pruning control of the man ever had. He had never pollinated her. He couldn't. The flower had not known what she was missing.

A year later the flower had grown far beyond the confines of the pot and taken up the entire side of the building. Thanks to the bee's pollination she had grown many new buds, each more beautiful than the last. She became what she could have been if she had never met the man. Perhaps even more as she flourished under the young bee's love and desire. And the bee lived happily among her beloved flower's petals; with everything she could desire or need.

The Swan Princess and the Frog Princess

One day a beautiful Swan Princess heard how the Frog Princess was well known for using her long and agile tongue to eat and her long legs to jump and swim. Curious she went up to a frog and invited her to a lavish feast. Flattered by the attention of the beautiful bird the frog, who had never considered herself very special, agreed even though they were very different. Even though they were very different both princesses had a marvelous time and really hit it off. When the meal ended the frog said, "I had a marvelous time with you. You're so beautiful and graceful and kind. Meanwhile I am often alone and most of the other animals agree not very pretty. I just do not understand why you invited me to dinner. We may both be princesses and live in the pond and have webbed feet but other than that, we're quite different."

The swan said, "Well that is why. We may be the same in some ways, but we're very different in others. If I wanted to spend time with someone exactly like me I would stare at my reflection in the pond. Did you enjoy learning about our differences as well as what we have in common?"

"Very much. Spending time with someone so different did teach me many things and despite our differences I think we both had fun together. Is there anything I can do to repay you?"

The swan leaned in so close that her feathers tickled the frog and whispered. "Put it on my bill."

Worse Off

A man walked by a gay bar and heard the men inside loudly complaining about how much they hated women. He shouted inside, "What have you got to complain about? Try living with them!" As he turned to leave he ran straight into a lesbian who overhearing him complain grabbed him by the shoulders and kneed him in the balls.

The four blind men and the elephant

I once heard a story about three blind men in room with an elephant. Each one touched a part of the elephant. The first touched its trunk and thought it was like a snake. The second touched its leg and thought it was like a tree. The third touched its tail and thought it was like a rope. Then you are asked, who was right? And the answer is that they were all right and they were all wrong.

The story is meant to teach the lesson about perspective and how we can never know all of God's plan and can only perceive pieces of the truth.

However, there is another story. This story is about the four blind men in a room with an elephant. Again the first one touched the trunk and thought it was like a snake. Again the second touched a leg and thought it was like a tree. And again the third touched the tail and thought it was like a rope.

But the fourth blind man grabbed the elephant's balls. And he thought it was like being stomped to death by a very angry elephant.

Who was right?

The moral of the story is this: There is always a way to find the whole truth, but you may not like what you have to do or what you find out and you might be a lot better off not knowing.

Why Things Are The Way They Are

One day a young boy asked an old man why things are the way they are. The old man sat him down and told this story.

A long time ago the gods ruled over all things. They created the universe and everything in it, so they reasoned that it was theirs to do with as they saw fit. And being immortal they saw no reason they could not rule over it forever. In fact several times the current gods were overthrown by their children. But being immortal they could not die, no matter what was done to them. They could be changed into other forms or chopped into pieces, but being gods they always existed in one form or another.

Mortals of course died all the time. They had been made by the gods for entertainment and work. At one time mortals were immortal, but when they began to overpopulate the world Death was invented and their souls were taken away to the afterlife. The gods rarely bothered with them then unless they demanded special attention. No, the gods were focused on the mortal world. A world where things could end.

Until one day, a god died.

This god was known as the Trickster. Hardly the only one to carry that title this god was one of the oldest and the greatest. His jokes against mortals and gods were legendary and time and again he had been punished for them. These punishments never taught him anything, except perhaps to be more careful the next time. If you wish to know what he did you can look for the most ironic legends. The ones where the victims of the Trickster's tricks got the most appropriate result. Someone who claims to be untouchable is killed by the one thing that can harm them. A man swears to sail forever until his goal is accomplished finds himself unable to touch land again. A woman declared the most beautiful of all time becomes disfigured and insane. These are the sort of things the Trickster found funny.

Nobody is sure what he had done this time. The god the joke was against has never mentioned what it was. All that is known was that there was a great battle. And when that battle ended the Trickster was dead. As the god watched his fallen foe vanish he looked up and saw the specter of Death standing there silently. And then Death left, off again on his important work.

At first nobody could believe it. The gods searched everywhere. And when a god looks everywhere they mean everywhere. Some said, "This is another trick." The Trickster had fooled them all time and again in a thousand different guises. They checked the afterlife, incase he was hiding there. Several gods had been trapped there over time, waiting their chance for resurrection. But the Trickster was not among them. The gods of the afterlife checked thoroughly.

The king of the gods went to Death and asked, "Is he really gone?"

And Death, who can not lie, said, "I took him."

The gods felt fear, many of them for the first time. A god had died. And they did not know how. For beings who had always considered themselves all knowing and immortal this was strange and terrifying. Those who imposed their will on the mortal world suddenly found their old games no longer appealed to them. They suddenly understood the feelings of the small frail mortals that they had long ruled over. Suddenly even the gods understood what it was like to be afraid of the unknown. For if the Trickster could die, did that mean that they could as well?

Slowly on by one or in groups, the gods left the mortal world. The threads of fate were no longer woven and for the first time the mortal creatures were free to do as they wished. Where the gods went nobody knows. To create new worlds? To a place outside of space and time where even Death could not find them? Your guess is as good as mine.

When the last god left, the Trickster came out from where he was hiding, under Death's robe and shook Death's hand. "This has been my best trick ever."

"I was happy to help," Death said. For Death had long been angry with the gods for their lack of respect. They were the ones who created Death and then set Death on the mortals. Yet in their presence they treated him like a mere messenger, sending him after who they chose and treating him with indifference at all other times. After all, they were immortal and beyond Death's power. So when the Trickster came with his plan Death had readily agreed.

"Now the world is ours," the Trickster said. "We are the last two immortals left in the mortal world. And together we will be the driving forces behind all things."

And so now you know why the world is the way it is.

Long ago on a far away island lived a great tribe. Among them was born a little girl who was very curious and who always felt she was different than the other girls of the village. Rather than trying to look beautiful like the other girls who spent their time combing their hair and trying to look beautiful so they could find husbands she ignored the young men of the island and often went exploring instead. One day when she was becoming a young woman the girl found a path in the woods that led to a clearing that contained a small hut. Inside lived two old women who lived alone with each other and made their living by diving for pearls. Despite living away from the other people on the island they welcomed the girl warmly and invited her to stay with them. She agreed even though her parents did not like it and begged her to stay away. The women were both rich and many thought they might be witches with strange powers, so her father could not quite find the courage to keep his strange daughter from going.

The old women taught the girl all they knew about diving for pearls. How to open the shells and coax out the pearl without killing them. Which mollusks were good to eat and which were poisonous and how to use them in other ways. There were other things they taught her too, but we will skip over those for the sake of those with delicate sensibilities. Eventually the two women died, leaving her alone in the hut where she practiced what they taught her. Soon there was not a shell fish that she could not open and a pearl she could not claim, except one.

You see some years before the chief of the tribe had fathered a young girl, his only child. It was clear that with no son he would have to find some way to find a worthy successor to be chief, but he could not think of a way to find someone who would do. That was when a goddess appeared before him and handed him a small oyster. "Take this oyster to the edge of the island and throw it into the sea. Watch where it lands and mark that spot. Inside will grow a beautiful pink pearl. When your daughter comes of age announce that the one who can collect that pearl will have her as a bride and become the new chief. Until then, guard it well."

The chief obeyed, walking to the edge of the island and throwing the oyster into the clear waters. He watched closely as it was caught by the tides and battered about until it came to rest in a prong-shaped cleft in a rock. He marked the spot and from that day forward left a guard there, letting it be known to one and all that anyone who attempted to claim the princess's pearl before she was of age would be put to death.

As the princess grew, becoming more beautiful and desirable by the day, so did the oyster. While forbidden to touch it, many came to see it and were amazed as with every year it grew bigger and bigger. Trapped in the rocky cleft they could see it open its shell at times to the ocean currents that washed over it and inside among the pink flesh gleamed a perfect round pearl of a perfect pink hue. Growing around the shell like a bird's nest was a patch of soft sea grass that waved gently in the water, lending it the name of The Great Bearded Oyster which contained the Princess's Pearl.

In the meantime the girl often went to the village and spoke with other girls, offering to show them how to pearl dive like she had been taught, but was often refused by those who were nervous about her. Only a few ever took her up on her offer. The men of the island were jealous of her skill with shellfish and pearls and the girl's parents warned them away from her, for fear that she would take them away to her hut. So most days she would only trade her pearls for goods and return home, except for one side trip she took on every journey. The girl would come to the edge of the shore and stare longingly at the pearl, her heart aching with desire for it. When she went diving for other pearls she would imagine they were the Princess's Pearl, though she knew that it was unlikely she would ever be able to have it.

Finally the day came when the princess reached the peak of her beauty and the chief announced that the time had come for someone to claim her hand in marriage. The princess was alright with this for she had found that she was uninterested in any man she had ever met and had resigned herself to whoever could succeed in the task. But she warned them, "You must be gentle, for I have watched my little oyster grow with me and would not see it harmed. Any who damage it while trying to retrieve the pearl shall be killed."

Many men came and attempted to claim the Princess's Pearl, but the Bearded Oyster did not relinquish its prize so easily. For a start the place it rested was one of strong tides. The waters rushed back and forth over the oyster in caressing waves, but anyone trying to swim from most ways would be dashed upon the rocks or dragged down into the depths of the sea. There was a small man with a canoe who almost made it, but in the end he failed too and his canoe ended up swamped.

There were only two ways in to the place it rested. One was from between standing stones known as the Ten Tiny Boars and between a channel that led straight to the cleft and the oyster. It was a short swim and considered the safer way to go. The other and more dangerous way was to go from the mouth of a nearby river, following a strong current over two large round stones that jutted out of the water, a large plane of sand and to the cleft where the oyster lay.

Both ways had their dangers and there were even three days a month when the tides changed so that none could get near it without shedding their blood and maybe being killed. Few even dared try on those days. Likewise the oyster presented its own dangers. Aside from being at the bottom of a small sheer cliff leading to the water with jagged rocks it was in the path of strong currents. The oyster was very sensitive and if touched in but the gentlest of ways would close with enough force to take off fingers. The rock around it was smooth, a bit slimy, and hard to grip. Not to mention that it was so deep that only a few of the most experienced divers could hold their breath long enough to attempt even the most fumbling of moves before they had to give up and come out for air.

Men tried to woo her in other ways, but the princess was vain and refused any pleas from anyone who suggested other ways they might win her heart. She wanted only the best. Her father also refused, for fear of angering the goddess. Which meant that one after another the men of the island dove down and tried to claim the pearl. Clever men tried to lever it open with their spears, only the find the shafts crushed in the oyster's shell. Strong men with bulging muscles tried to lever the shell open with their hands, but even when they did manage to do so, they found that they could not reach the pearl without letting go.

After a year it soon became obvious that no man in the village could get the pearl and so the word was sent to other island. But while many men came to try, none had any better luck at claiming the Princess's Pearl. Soon the wave of suitors slowed and finally stopped all together. For more than a year nobody came forward to try to claim the place as chief. Meanwhile the chief they did have was getting old and sick.

Finally the girl came forward and said, "I think I can retrieve the pearl."

"But according to the goddess, that would mean that you would have to marry my daughter," the chief said.

The girl looked at the beautiful princess and said, "If I succeed in getting into the oyster, then I am worthy am I not?"

The chief looked at his daughter. "What say you my child?"

"No man has been able to do a thing to bring forth my pearl, though they have tried mightily. As things stand it looks as if I am destined to die an old maid anyway. If she can bring it forth from its hiding place then I am willing. Besides everyone knows that a pearl forms when an oyster is irritated and itchy and needs soothing. I would hate to think of the poor thing forever in need of that kind of attention and if only a woman can succeed in brining it forth from its shell then so be it."

The king nodded. "Very well, you may try. But I know that they say you are a witch and I will not have my daughter's hand won by black magic."

"I swear, the rumors… well those rumors… about me are false," the girl said. "I know no magic, only the secrets of pearls and shellfish."

The chief was unconvinced and wanted to watch to make sure. The rest of the village was out gathering food. Only the girl who lived alone and bought her supplies with pearls and the princess were left with the elderly king. "Father you stay in bed and rest. I will go watch to see if she succeeds."

He agreed. "Very well. But watch carefully daughter."

So the two of them walked together to the shore where the Princess's pearl rested. They stood looking down at the oyster for a while, the air filled with the warm wet spray of waves against the rocks. The girl took her time. She had been thinking of how to do this for a long time and said so. The princess smiled, flattered. "I find that I admire your dedication."

"I have wanted nothing so much in my entire life."

Finally the girl headed down the path to where the river's mouth met the sea. The area where the Bearded Oyster rested had been off limits to her for her entire life and the currents were so strong that even the old women had not swum there much in their prime. They, like most of them men, had preferred the parts of the island with calmer waters with more oyster beds. But they had come down the river a few times because that was where the women went to wash clothes and gather drinking water.

The girl had watched the men. Most went straight through the Ten Tiny Boars and up to the cleft. A few had tried it from the other way because the current from the river mouth would hold them would carry them straight through the two round rocks rather than fighting it for the short distance in the other direction and their timing was off. More often than not that meant they overshot the oyster entirely and wasted their energy before they could get there or scared the oyster shut in their hurry.

The girl felt her heart beat as she approached, glancing over her shoulder to see the princess watching her intently. Her knees shook under that calm cool gaze and she turned to the path at hand. First she knelt by the mouth of the river and ran her hands over the edge, feeling it out as the cool waters mixed with the warmth of the sea. She slipped into the mouth, letting the feel of it wash over her and send goose bumps over her whole body. She cried out as the wetness kissed her and she sank into it, keeping a strong grip.

She luxuriated in the feel for a while, getting a sense for it before finally letting go enough to slide away, digging her hands in to slow her descent until the water got too deep. Eventually having to let go and be carried away she flowed with the path of the water until she reached the two curved stones. But rather than letting the current sweep her away towards the cleft where the oyster lay, instead she aimed for the rocks and grabbed onto one. There she held on tight, pressing her face against it, breathing long and deep so that she could feel her own breath bouncing back against the smooth hard curve of it. Then when she was ready she let the rock go and dove, letting the current carry her along to the bottom.

When she arrived at the oyster she did not reach for it, instead grabbing for the sea grass that gave the Bearded Oyster its name. The grass had sunk deep into the sand and rock and held fast as she tugged on it and to her joy there it was, the huge oyster. It was cracked open just a bit, the fleshy folded pink of the mollusk in the shell pulsing wetly in the water. The grass tickling her body as she peered inside and got her first close look at the pink pearl that had haunted her dreams.

She was not close to done. Gently reaching out she touched the shell. It was no wonder the men had not been able to open it very far with one hand. It was wedged into its cleft so that unless it was lifted out it would not open more than a little of the way needed to see inside. Plus as her hand moved over the shell she felt that it was quite as slick as the rocks around it, her fingers sliding over it with ease.

Leaning in the girl blew softly into the shell, water and bubbles tickling the oyster and the shell opened a bit more. The oyster opened wider and she could see the pearl under the meat of it, like a face peeking out of a hood. It was so close she reached out and touched it, but when she did the shell started to close a little, the muscles shaking with nervous energy and she pulled back before it could close on her fingers.

Letting go of the grass she fell into the current again and aimed for the Ten Tiny Boars. When she reached one she rose up out of the water and kissed it, using it to steady herself while she caught her breath. Absently she played her hands between the rocks while she thought. Up on the cliff the watching princess was impressed with how long the girl had held her breath and her way with the oyster. Most of the men had tried to force it, diving right in with hands and spears to try to pull the pearl out. The way the girl had done it, the oyster had almost climbed out of its shell itself and presented the pearl to her. From where she sat she could still see it moving in the water, the pearl proudly presented.

So could the girl, though it was now just a pink blur under the water from where she was. She managed to get enough air, but it was hard going and she could use more. She knew if she waited too long the oyster would close again making it that much harder. Unlike the oysters that were used to being harvested of their pearls this one had only been prodded at and was not used to being touched. The wrong move and it would flee and with the men fumbling around with it and jamming the shafts of their spears at the opening, the thing was probably shy of being touched at all now. She had to try to finish this quickly, but make sure that it felt safe and comfortable.

Swimming forward she went down, following the path up to the cleft and the open oyster, her eyes on the pearl as if it were her whole world. She noticed a smaller opening under the oyster as she swam. When she arrived she gripped the sea grass above it with one and then slipped the other inside the small tight hole hoping nothing dangerous resided inside. It was a tight fit and only three of her fingers would go in no matter how hard she pushed. She could feel the bottom of the oyster and pushed up against it, lifting it a little further out of the cleft until it spread wider than it ever had before, right in front of her face. The pearl, the size of man's eye, jutted out an inch in front her nose.

With both her hands full and the current pushing against her face, how was she to get the pearl? She could not get another grip without sliding free and letting it all fall apart. Then she remembered all of the secrets the old women had taught her and realized what to do. Carefully she opened her mouth and moved her head forward until it was inside the shell. All she could see was pulsing pink flesh. Her lips touched the pearl and carefully she wrapped them around it, making sure not to scratch the flesh with her teeth. One false move and the thing would close on her face. She breathed out a bit through her nose, tickling the Bearded Oyster with a few more bubbles and it flexed, pushing the pearl into her mouth. Slowly she slid her tongue under it and lifted it away.

As her mouth encompassed it the oyster squirted a small spray of warm seawater into her face, as mollusks are want to do. She jerked back, caught off guard by the warm explosion, just as the shell slammed shut. Then being lifted up by her hand and finally freed from the confines of the cleft it was caught in the current and washed away, disappearing into the sea. The girl followed, no longer able to keep her grip in the rushing water, all the strength ebbing out of her now that she had done what she needed to do.

A few moments later she dragged herself onto a nearby beach. The princess had seen everything and followed her and even though she was dripping wet, ran to meet her suitor in a tight embrace. "You did it!"

Spitting the pearl into her fingers and licking the salt water from her lips the girl smirked. "I believe this is yours."

The princess told her, "Keep it, it's yours." She looked at the large pink orb and added, "I am certain you will think of something to do with it."

"A few things come to mind," the girl said. And she looked into the eyes of the princess. Then she lowered her wet salty lips and kissed her bride.

When the islanders arrived and found that the girl had claimed the princess's pearl there was much rejoicing. The chief rose from his bed and they were wed in a magnificent ceremony. The girl was declared the new chief and much to the enjoyment of all, proceeded to teach a full third of the island women the proper way to handle oysters, starting with her princess. Soon their prowess in diving for pearls was such that they became a very prosperous island indeed with happy citizens and much rejoicing even if a lot of the men did resent that so many of the women no longer needed them.

The Fox's Wife And The Cat

There was once an old fox with nine tails who wanted to know how faithful his wife was. So he faked his death and went into hiding, so he could watch and see what she would do. Left alone with her maid, a two tailed orange cat she locked herself away in her room and cried for days and days. Nothing could console her and it was all her loving maid could do to keep her alive. It was months before she stopped and even then an air of sadness followed her as she wandered the house.

Soon enough others heard of the great fox's death and suitors began to appears. The first was a young fox who came and asked to be introduced to the lady of the house. The cat went to her mistress and told her. She asked, "Does he have nine lovely tails like my late husband?"

"No," the cat said.

"Then send him away. I will not have him for a husband."

More came. Not just foxes but wolves and other creatures, for they all knew that not only was Mrs. Fox beautiful but powerful and rich as well. She sent them all away one by one and would not hear of any of them. In his hiding place Mr. Fox was delighted and was prepared to reveal his trick to his wife, when one final suitor approached.

The cat came into the room and said, "My lady, there is another person who desires your heart. I think you should hear this one out."

Mrs. Fox almost on reflex started to tell her to send the suitor away, but paused. "Who is it?"

"It is someone who loves you. With orange fur like a fox and nine lives with two long and beautiful tails." She stepped forward and rubbed against the surprised fox, tickling her nose with her split tail. "And she cares for you more than anything."

Mrs. Fox was shocked. She had never imagined taking a female lover. Still she had to admit that the cat had always been there for her with love and comfort and obviously cared for her. As she felt the cat's warm fur brush against hers she also began to remember that her husband had been gone quite a while and that she had needs of her own to meet.

"If you truly love me that much," the fox told the cat. "Then I will gladly marry you and love you even more than my late husband."

Mr. Fox in his hiding hole heard this and angered rushed out with a cudgel. He attacked the two, driving them from the house. Regardless Mrs. Fox and the cat stayed together and wherever they ended up it is certain that she is happier with the cat than she ever was with her old husband.

The Coyote's Wife

It seems that one day while lying around her den Coyote's wife got a visit from a pretty young rabbit. When she saw the rabbit she was surprised. "What are you doing here? It's not often food throws itself into my home."

"I came to admire you," the rabbit said. "I've seen you around with your pretty fur and I have come to desire you very much. I want you to be my lover." She winked coquettishly and said, "I once dated a mink girl. Say what you want about us rabbits, even I could not keep up with her. They mate for eight hours at a time, sometimes longer."

The coyote was flattered and blushed under her fur at the thought. But she was a coyote and felt that there were standards. "Do not be ridiculous. You are a rabbit and a female at that. You are not a mate fit for a coyote, only lunch. I will not eat you this time because you flattered me, but do not count on it a second time. Leave before my husband returns and tears the meat from your bones."

"Your husband doesn't deserve anyone as pretty as you." The coyote had often felt this, as Coyote was a well known philanderer and she was not even his first wife, but said nothing. The rabbit smiled and twitched her cotton tail. "What if I prove myself better than your husband?"

"Better how?"

"Stronger. Faster. Smarter." She eyed the lady coyote with lust. "Better in bed."

While the thought was intriguing the coyote had to laugh. "We have devoured hundreds of rabbits. There is no way a rabbit could be better than my husband in any of those ways." She looked the rabbit in the eyes. "If you can manage to prove all that, I'll gladly give myself to you as your wife." Then she snapped her jaws in front of the rabbits face, making her run. When Coyote came home he smelled the rabbit, but thought nothing of it.

The next day not far from his den though, he came across the same rabbit, lying out in plain sight moaning. He smiled and walked over, happy to see that the rabbit did not run away. "I see my lunch!"

The rabbit looked up at him. "Oh please great Coyote, don't eat me. I am but a skinny little bunny. I was on my way to a great party being thrown by my aunt when I twisted my leg."

Coyote hesitated. "A party?"

"Oh yes, rabbits everywhere. Hopping, skipping, fat with food and some just sleeping in the sun." Coyote licked his lips at the thought. The rabbit added, "I don't suppose you could take me there? I'm sure we could find you something to eat."

Coyote smiled. "I'm sure you could too." Why settle for one rabbit when he could have his pick of dozens? Coyote thought. "Where is it?"

"I'd have to show you."

"I'll carry you then." He opened his mouth to pick the rabbit up, but it shrieked in horror.

"No! Please, don't eat me."

"How else am I to take you?" He asked gruffly. His stomach was grumbling.

"Could I ride on your back?"

Coyote considered. "I suppose." He bent down and the rabbit limped over to climb on.

"Oh dear, I'll never be able to hold on the whole way." She appeared to think. "Do you have any rope? Then I could make a harness like a horse and we'll get there without you having to stop and pick me up every few feet."

Coyote saw the wisdom in this. He eyed the rabbit, but she had not run away yet. "Very well, I'll get some rope." He left and came back a bit later with a rope. The rabbit tied it into a harness and climbed up onto Coyote's back. Then with a flick of her paws she had it tied around his snout and neck, her sharp hind claws digging into his sides. "Now I have you!"

Realizing he had been tricked Coyote began to run and race around, trying to throw the rabbit off, but she held on tight. Her powerful hind legs could not be shifted and her claws dug into his sides painfully. He could not bite her because the rope held his jaws shut and the rabbit would jerk his head around whenever he tried. Coyote jumped and bucked like a wild stallion but no matter what he did he could not dislodge the rabbit.

Meanwhile not far away Coyote's wife heard her husband's cries and came out of their den, shocked to see the rabbit riding her husband as a steed, laughing joyfully. She watched as Coyote struggled in vain to escape and finally collapsed, unable to so much as move. She hurried over, staring in shock as the rabbit leaned against him and smiled playfully at her.

"I told you I was smarter, stronger, and faster than your husband."

"You also said you were better at making love," she pointed out, her heart already leaping at the idea.

The rabbit hopped down. Coyote was too tired to even try to undo the rope around his jaws. "I can prove that too. We rabbits are well known for it." Looking down at her husband the lady coyote sniffed at the pathetic sight and then she and the rabbit left together, her long tail wagging happily next to the twitching puff ball of the rabbit's.

The Worried Mother Bear

One day a young female bear fell in love with another female and the two moved into a cave together. The bear's mother heard about this and became worried about what the animals would say. After a time she went to her neighbor, the wolf, and asked if it bothered him.

He looked at her in surprise and said, "Madam, if you had not asked me, I would never have even known."

The Painting Contest

In a land far away a princess was born. She was not particularly good looking and grew to be very plain bordering on unattractive. The king wanted to make her feel better and sent out an invitations to the greatest artists in the land. He announced a contest to paint the princess as beautifully as possible, the winner to receive a hundred gold coins and have their artwork hang in the castle archives, so that future generations would at least think the princess was beautiful.

The contestants all lined up together and the princess sat still patiently for weeks while they each painted her, eager to see what they came up with. The king watched and eliminated those who failed to meet his standard until only three remained.

The first contestant was an artist from a neighboring kingdom. Long used to this sort of thing he thinned her down and added larger bosoms. Her made her face shaper and haughty and piled up the hair on her head. He gave her a severe look that oozed authority and gravitas. A true queen.

The next was a prince, long having been an artist in his copious free time. He changed her into a goddess. beautiful beyond measure. So beautiful it brought a tear to his eye.

The third and final was a young woman from a small village. The kind stopped and stared and said, "But that looks exactly like her. it could be her in life."

The young woman blushed and said, "I know your majesty, but when I looked upon your daughter, I could not think but that she is as beautiful as can be already and I could not think of any way to improve upon her."

In the end the prince was the clear victor of the contest and gratefully took his prize back to his kingdom with him. But the princess, moved by the girl's words, was unable to think of anything else and propositioned her, curious if what she said had merely been empty flattery. They were soon married and the girl's painting replaced the prince's in the royal archive, his sold off for a nice sum to a local duke who spent his life pining for the imaginary princess. The two lived and ruled together happily for the remainder of their lives.

The Cougar and the Vixen

A young vixen came into season and found herself catching the attention of many male foxes. Unsure if she was ready she ran away, trying to keep ahead of them. A voice rang out, belonging to a cougar that also lived in the forest. The vixen turned and saw her lying in the mouth of her cave, eyeing the young fox hungrily.

"Quick, if you want you can hide in my cave. The scent of me will put the males off your trail."

The fox hesitated. She had seen many young animals go into the cave. The rabbit doe, the wolf bitch, and antelope. At mating season the cougar always seemed to be inviting young females into her cave. "You don't do anything to me, will you?"

"I swear, you'll be perfectly safe."

Hearing the approaching males yipping through the forest the fox hesitated only a moment longer and then ducked into the cave, followed lazily by the cougar. Inside the fox caught her breath as she stared up into the reflective green eyes of the great cat. The cougar padded over and wrapped herself around the young fox. The vixen found herself pinned and unable to escape as the cougar held her tight. Completely at her mercy.

Remembering the other young females that had entered the cougar's cave and never come out she said, "You promised not to do anything to me."

Purring the cat sniffed her and nuzzled the fox's fur, flicking out a tongue to taste her. She purred and looked hungrily into the vixen's frightened eyes. "And I meant it at the time my dear, but you smell so good I just can't resist taking you for myself. It's my nature."

Aphrodite's Blessing

Long ago a cat fell in love with a lioness. She watched the great beast as she hunted and prowled and her heart leapt at the sigh of the great gold beast. The cat prayed to Aphrodite the goddess of love to make the lioness fall in love wither too and to let them be together. To her surprise the goddess herself appeared.

"You're praying for my help, but you have yet to make a move. You merely watch."

"I'm afraid she might devour me," the cat said.

The goddess smiled and said, "You can't expect me to do all of the work. I might help, but not if you never take a risk." And with that she vanished.

The Horse's Ass

A horse fell in love with an ass. She invited her to share her stable and her food and the two were constantly together. But as time went on she noticed that her friends, the other horses, never seemed to warm to her love no matter how hard she tried. Soon it seemed more and more like she was only spending time with the ass and less with anyone else. This was in many ways a good thing, but it seemed odd because she had always been a kind and friendly mare who got along well with her friends. A few even made comments that perhaps the ass was not really her type, which only made the mare angry. Were they jealous or just snubbing the ass for not being a horse?

One day she came back from a trot around the field and heard the ass talking to the other horses. She insulted them and made comments about how tall and skinny they were. The way they let humans ride them and race them. The comments were cutting and hurtful and she brayed happily as she made the horses miserable.

The mare came around the corner and said, "You shouldn't say things like that. If this is how you speak to my friends, then I don't want anything to do with you any more. You're not nice."

The donkey stared at her, tears welling up in her eyes. "Please don't. I can be nice."

But the horse hardened her heart and turned away. It hurt, but she had seen the ass's true form. "I'd rather be with someone who is nice than someone who promises to act nice." For the horse knew that while someone might love an ass it was foolish to let those feelings make you into one.

The Swimming Hole

There was a tiny village and in it was a big house owned by a woman whose yard contained a large pond. The local girls often came in the hot summer days to swim in that pond and to their embarrassment the woman who owned the house would often come out to watch them.

One day a girl just turned eighteen, unable to resist in the heat of the summer sun, was swimming alone when the woman came out to spread a blanket by the pond and sit upon it. The girl's parents had warned her about the woman. Some people said she was a witch. Others just that she had unsavory intentions towards beautiful young girls.

The woman saw her nervousness and smiled, looking next to her where the girl's clothes lay. "You should come out and get dry. It'll be sunset soon and if you wait until it gets dark your clothes will be all wet when you head home."

The girl shook her head. "I don't want to. My mom says you aren't to be trusted, the way you stare at us girls. You just want to look at me naked."

This was true, but the woman feigned innocence. "I want no such thing!"

"Then why do you always come out when young ladies swim in your pond?"

"I come out here all the time," she protested. "You girls only see me when you're here, so to you it must seem I'm only here when you are."

That made sense. The girl asked, "Then how come you never swim? Do you know how?"

"Of course I know how," she said. "I just don't swim in this particular pond."

"Why not?"

Smiling playfully she said, "Because I'm afraid of the crocodile that lives in it."

As that moment a small trout brushed against the girl's legs. With a shriek she scrambled out of the pond, slipping on the grass and panting with wide eyes landed on the woman's blanket.

The Lion's Pride

A lion awoke to loud roaring and the general sound of scuffling. Annoyed he stood up and walked to where his lionesses spent their time. When he got there he was greeted to the sight of them all over each other. Rolling in the dirt, on top of one another, and generally wrestling. One had a fellow lioness pushed down in the dirt, her jaws gripping the loose skin of her neck in the dominant position.

"What's going on here?" He roared. They all froze and looked up at him. "Are you all fighting over me again?" There was a brief pause as the females all looked at one another.

"Yes!"

"Yeth!"

"Absolutely!"

"That's exactly what we were doing."

Puffing out his chest with pride the lion let his gaze travel over his beautiful females and nodded. Then he turned and headed back to lay on his rock in the sun.

The Panther Sisters

Two black jaguars were born deep in the jungle. Growing up they were quite close but often competed. Whenever they went hunting they would meet where their territory overlapped to compare. They would race and swim and climb trees and face off with the most dangerous animals in the jungle, be they alligators or anacondas.

One day it was time for them to mate and one sister found a great big golden male, all muscle and cunning. When she went to brag to her sister the sister jaguar revealed that she had fallen in love with a lone she-wolf that had been driven away from her pack. The two shared a lair and hunted together and were quite happy.

The sister preened and said, "Then I suppose I have won. I will have many cubs and they too will have cubs of their own forever while you will only grow old and die without any children at all."

"I suppose that is true," her sister said.

As the years went by the sister with cubs grew aged and was often hungry. Male jaguars tend to leave after they get what they wish from the females and soon she was raising her cubs on her own. Not only was she less agile after being pregnant each year, but she had to sacrifice her own needs for those of her children.

The wolf bitch however was loyal and mated for life and she and her jaguar worked together and had no children to feed. They stayed sleek and strong and together found more than enough food even in the lean months. They protected each other and neither was weak enough to be a detriment when they went up against other animals.

In only a few years the harder life took its toll and soon the children of the one sister mourned as she died. Meanwhile her sister and the wolf ruled the jungle together for many more years.

The Witch

A woman was falsely accused of witchcraft and consorting with the devil and using black arts to seduce the minister's wife. After a brief trial sentenced to be burned at the stake. As they bound and gagged her on top of the growing pile of wood she saw in the crowd the neighbor who had accused her when the witch hunters arrived in town. She caught the condemned woman's eyes and when nobody was looking, stuck out her tongue revealing the mark of the devil upon it. Then she pulled it back and quietly slipped away into the crowd.

The Dog and God

A pastor was given a Dalmatian puppy to guard his church. His parishioners loved her and soon they asked after the dog every Sunday even more than they asked the pastor himself. She played with the children, comforted the old people, and could sense when someone was feeling down.

When she grew up though the pastor became horrified. He would often catch her with other female dogs from the neighborhood and even a lady coyote who would sneak down from the hills every now and then. It was clear their relationships were far from chaste. The pastor when eh caught her in these situations would douse her with water, beat her, and even tried to arrange for boy dogs when it was time for her to have puppies, only to have her violently snarl and snap at them until they backed off.

Ashamed he wished he could get rid of her, but people in his church loved her too much and it would look bad if he did. So he just did his best to keep it secret until after fifteen years she died of old age.

When the dog died and went to heaven she walked up to god who pet her gently on the head and said, "My master was always saying that loving another girl was a sin against you. I made him very ashamed, even though I only did what felt right. Was I wrong?"

God smiled and said, "Of course not. Every week your master tells his flock that I am all-knowing, all powerful, and love and forgive everyone. That I made everything and have a plan. Then he tells you that you, a dog, are capable of defying me in the face of all that?"

The dog wagged her tail and then, being a loving and loyal beast, asked, "He isn't going to be in trouble over that is he? I know he was not always perfect but he pet me and fed me and loved me in his own way."

God smiled and pet her again. "Don't worry. There is no sin in being wrong. As a man forgives a dog for actions done in ignorance, so I forgive men."

Happy the dog bounded off to the endless fields of paradise.

The Kirin

In the entire world there is only one Kirin. It is a beautiful creature of goodness and purity who is seen as a symbol of good fortune. They say it was seen when Confucius was born.

Once, long ago it walked the earth more often, talking and telling stories and teaching people things. Everyone was very impressed with the Kirin's wisdom and amazing tales. Until one day it was telling a story of love between two women when a woman interrupted, refusing to even listen to the tale said, "You are the only one of your kind. Neither male or female and you watch the world from outside. You could not possibly understand love. Your stories must be complete nonsense."

The Kirin was thousands of years old and knew much. It could see that mankind was obviously too young and immature to accept that wisdom could come from an outside source. So rather than argue it sighed and flew back to the realm of the gods where it waits for a more enlightened time when mankind is ready to hear its stories.

What The Monkey Saw

As everyone knows monkeys have always been the biggest gossips in the jungle. They used to be able to speak the language of humans and beasts. Then one day a nosy little monkey was swinging by a temple deep in the darkest parts of the forest and through a hole in the ceiling looked down into the altar room. Inside he saw the temple's goddess and one of the demons who were supposed to be her sworn enemies holding hands and kissing. The monkey became very excited to learn this piece of news. The other monkeys and everyone in the jungle would be very impressed with this piece of news. He chattered loudly and jumped up and down and pointed excitedly.

The demon saw the monkey bound off and she and the goddess realized they would soon be the talk of the jungle. They quickly came up with a plan. Lying around as fast as they could they found all of the monkeys and told them a different story. That the goddess kissed a wolf. That the demon seduced a crocodile. That the spider was kissing the rabbit and the snake was the ape's main squeeze. So many rumors flew about everyone that by the time the monkey's true tale was told, everyone thought they were all lying about everything.

To this day while everyone in the jungle still listens to the monkeys, nobody believes them.

The Blame

A squirrel peeked out of her tree one day and saw a vixen for the first time. That velvety red fur, that fluffy tail, and those hungry predator eyes. The most beautiful thing the squirrel had ever seen. She was instantly smitten and quickly ran to tell the other squirrels about the beautiful red furred creature she saw. When they heard the other squirrels laughed, teasing her for falling in love with the fox. Pointing out the myriad of reasons why such feelings were silly and pointless.

"You're both females."

"She would eat you if she saw you."

"She's too big and you're too small."

"A fox is bright red and you're dull gray."

"You are just being silly."

Tears in her eyes the squirrel ran away, her heart breaking and stinging from all the insults. Running through the tunnels she eventually made her way to the spot where she had seen the vixen and coincidentally the fox was coming back from a hunt with a dead rabbit in her mouth. The squirrel, hurt and angry, ran up a nearby tree trunk and chattered at the surprised and confused fox. "My friends all made fun of me and it is all your fault!"

The Unicorn

Unicorns are some of the most beautiful and magical creatures in the world. Also some of the most snobbish and vicious. Rare indeed is the legend in which they are not on a bloody rampage using their horns to stab everything in sight. Also very solitary as they quickly become jealous of each other. Not that they are overly fond of any lesser creature… anyone but themselves. They have a particular hatred of lions.

This is because back in the day when all the animals lived in Eden the unicorn and the lioness were quite close. At the time as now there were always more female lions than males and the males were lazy self absorbed things. Meanwhile the unicorn thought, if any creature was worthy of her, it surely must be the Queen of Beasts. Lithe, with golden fur and animal cunning. Everything the male was not. The world was new, life was good, and those annoying humans had been kicked out of the garden.

For a time they were happy. The lion and the unicorn frolicked in peace and love and all was good. Then one day the lioness came up to the unicorn and said, I cannot be with you any more."

"Why not?"

"The other lions say it is unnatural. That unicorns are food, not friends. And that if I want to have cubs I need to be with a male lion."

Incensed the unicorn said, "What about me? Does my opinion mean nothing? I am a unicorn and I chose you out of all animals to be with me. Who cares what some lions think?"

"I do," the lion said and turned to leave. A moment later a horn neatly pierced her in the back.

From that day on lions and unicorns have been at each other's throats like no other beasts in history, for hatred is a fine reason to fight but nothing fuels a grudge like a broken heart.

The Most Amazing Woman in the World

Once a long time ago a witch locked The Most Beautiful Girl in the World inside a tower that stretched up into the clouds perched on a cliff at the edge of the world, behind a ring of eternally burning poisoned thorn bushes, guarded by a vicious flying dragon, and the most powerful magic spells ever devised. When that girl was fourteen the witch came to the tower to find her asleep and to her shock there was a note tucked into the girl's hair. It had a wax seal with the mark of The Most Amazing Woman in the World on it. Plucking it up and breaking the seal she unrolled the message and she read "When I want her, I'll take her."

The Last Mugwump

The Mugwump was a great creature. Unfortunately no longer existing. They were like tigers but smaller and sleeker with rainbow fur and a keep intellect. When Noah was building his ark and God called the animals two of the mugwumps joined the cue. As they walked up into the ark one said to the other, "Do you think anyone will mind that we are both females?"

"We just will not tell anyone. What's the worst that could happen?"

Two Coyotes

A female coyote approached another female and said, "I find you very attractive. Is there any way I can convince you to come back to my den for the evening?"

"Absolutely not!" Said the other. "We'll go to mine. It's closer."

Eris

A beautiful woman walked into the temple of Eris, goddess of discord and anarchy. The goddess happened to be there. The woman walked up to her, took her hand, and looked into her eyes where she saw nothing but trouble before she said, "I've been looking for you my whole life."

The Tiger and the Asp

A tiger and an asp became fast friends. When it was cold the asp would wrap around her and would slither over her and smooth out her beautiful soft fur and the tiger loved the sensation of being caressed and squeezed. Often they went out hunting together and the tiger would feed her viper tiny mouse sized bits of meat and the snake happily rode on her body rather than slither across the ground.

One day a male tiger approached the female and began to aggressively flirt with her. The female said that she was already with someone, but the male refused to take no for an answer, circling her and preparing to pounce. He was quite large and powerfully built. The kind that most any female would want. She tried to explain that she was just not that into him, but he was no longer being subtle about his intentions.

As he pounced the asp raised her head and hissed. The male tiger froze in shock and the snake's head darted forward biting through the fur on his neck. A moment later he fell forward dead. The snake wrapped tightly around her tiger and leaned over to whisper into her ear, forked tongue making the tigress giggle. "Why kill them with kindness when poison works so much faster?"

The Princess

A leopardess princess was brought before a leopard prince. She was beautiful and pure and had been raised among other lionesses away from all males. He had been promised her from birth and was the first man she had ever seen. He stepped forward and said. "I was told that you have stayed pure and unsullied for our marriage."

The princess smiled at him and said, "I meant to. It's just that there were a lot of other options."

The Lynx and the Bear

One day a lynx took up with a grizzly bear. A fox saw her coming and going from the bear's cave often and even watched the two walk together in the woods and hunt fish in the river. One day he approached the lynx and asked her, "Aren't you afraid the bear might eat you or crush you?"

The lynx smiled and said, "Of course. Who wouldn't want a piece of this? And she is very strong."

"Then why would you put yourself in the claws of such a dangerous relationship?"

Sighing happily she said, "If you have to ask, you'll never understand. But believe me, if it happens it will have been worth it."

"What exactly is it she does for you?"

The lynx continued on her way saying smugly, "The fact that I cannot even answer that question in public should tell you something."

Frog Kisses

Two female tree frogs were very attracted to one another and stared longingly from their perches on their leaves as they ate fireflies floating around their tree. Distracted they were watching each other as their tongues shot out and met on the same firefly. They stuck immediately and as both frogs were roughly the same size they were pulled off their feet and toward each other until their heads slammed together.

There was once a man who was told by a famous prophet that his beloved daughter would fall in love with a woman. To prevent this he locked her away and kept her in a high tower room, only visited by elderly male servants, until he could find her a husband and thwart fate. Her only companion was the large mirror she brushed her hair in every day. With nobody else for company the girl treated the mirror as if it were a real person. She would play Hide-and-Seek with her image to see if she could fool it, draw on it with her breath or ink in funny ways, and at night she would turn the mirror toward her bed so she and her reflection could watch each other until they went to sleep. As she grew she would talk to it and sing with it and one day she fell in love with her own reflection. All day she would stand before it and look at herself. She would even press her lips to the cool surface and kiss it with all the passion in her heart.

One day her father sent her a letter that told her he had been foolish to believe the prophecy and that he had finally found a husband for her. She could finally return to the world. The girl's heart was clenched in fear. She went to her mirror and told it what was in her father's letter, tears streaming down her cheeks at the thought of being with anyone but the girl she saw in the mirror.

To her amazement her reflection smiled without her and reached out of the glass as if it were not there. In her own eyes she saw the love and hope she had poured into the mirror for all that time. Without the slightest hesitation she stepped forward, letting the reaching arms wrap around her and taking the double in hers in return. It would be doubtful that anyone watching could tell the girl from the reflection and after a moment even they were unsure. Not that they cared. The girl and her double kissed with reflected passion and together they stepped back into the glass.

When her father came to set her free the girl was gone and though he searched the world for her, he never found her.

The Curious Wolf

One day while out in the woods a young wolf bitch and her father were searching for food when they found a hunting dog lying in the shade of a tree. The young wolf had never seen anything so beautiful. The dog's fur was beautifully brushed and she was well bed and healthy. Her teeth were white and around her neck she wore a collar with a gold medallion upon it.

As she took a step forward though, the father wolf got in her way. "Do not get near it, it is a dog. A pet of man. If you follow her you will only get into trouble."

They started to leave but then the young wolf turned and rushed towards the dog, leaving her father behind in the woods. The dog saw her coming and got to her feet, baring her teeth. The wolf crouched low and curled her tail under her submissively. "I mean you no harm. I just felt you were very beautiful and I wanted to meet you."

Startled the dog sat back, tail wagging at the compliment. They spoke for a while and after a time she asked the wolf, "Would you like to come home with me?"

The wolf agreed and the two ran off to the dog's home.

Later that night the young wolf arrived back at her pack's cave. She was limping and hurt with patches of missing fur and scratches. Panting she collapsed in her usual spot as the other wolves rushed toward her. Her father sniffed her and asked, "What happened?"

She told them that she followed the dog home and shared her food and her bed. But when the other dogs arrived they had snarled and snapped at her and even bitten her. The noise alerted the dog's master who came to see what the problem was and when he saw a wolf in among his hounds he grabbed a pitchfork and swung it at her and cut her and then turned it around and beat her with the handle until she turned and ran away.

Her father said, "That is some story. Aren't you sorry you didn't listen to me now and stayed in the forest where it was safe?"

The wolf smiled and said, "Not at all. If I had listened to you I would have had no story to tell at all."

The Clownfish

A clownfish who had lived a long life with her sea anemone one day saw a beautiful lion fish. Like the anemone she had long tendrils and could protect her, but unlike the anemone she could move around and see the world. The lion fish saw the clownfish looking and said, "I see you admiring me. Would you like to leave that ugly fat lazy anemone behind and come with me? All she does is eat your food and lounge around."

The anemone said, "Don't. I've protected you for years. I've fed you. We've been together all that time and I would miss you terribly."

The clownfish hesitated, but finally swam out of the tendrils of her anemone partner. 'I can't. She's so beautiful and agile and mysterious. I want to see what she has to offer."

As soon as the clownfish approached though, the lionfish opened her mouth and swallowed her up in one bite.

The Dragon and the Princess

A princess fell in love with a dragon and married her. Many brave knights were sent to rescue her when the dragon carried her off, but when they arrived the princess shooed each one away herself. Finally the king himself showed up and asked, "My dear, what do you see in this dragon that makes you want to stay with her?"

The princess smiled at her father and said, "Her love for me is like a fire in the hearth of my heart. She protects me and keeps me warm at night and protects me from the dangers of the dark. All she ever asks in return is my love, like kindling for the fire. Also I get the feeling that if I tried to leave her alone she would burn our house to the ground."

The king nodded in perfect understanding. "That sounds like the exact relationship I had with your mother."

The Older Fox

A young vixen lay in the den of an older vixen, with the latter curled warmly around her. The young one leaned over and licked her elder's cheek and the two looked into each other's eyes. Finally the young one said, "My mother always told me that things would be different when I grow up I'm an adult now, but I don't feel that much different. What will it be like when I'm your age?"

The elder said, "Well when I was your age…" She paused and stared for a while a funny little smile curled her lips. "No, wait. Never mind. I still do that."

"Then when will I be old enough to know better?"

"Let me get back to you on that one."

The Skunk and the Chihuahua

As everyone knows Chihuahua's are one of the most conservative of all animals. They do not like anything that breaks the status quo. So it was quite worrisome to them when one day one of their females began dating a skunk. Worse they suspected but could not prove that the skunk too was a female. Normally they could smell the difference but for obvious reasons this time it was impossible and none of them was going to be able to take a look under the tail to check.

They spent a lot of time discussing the situation. That it was a disgrace. That it flung poo in the face of tradition. That none of them liked it at all. It was unnatural, possibly unholy, and very twisted. They all barked about it quite loudly.

The got so loud the skunk herself was walking by and easily overheard them. With a grin she stepped around the corner and into their meeting. They all stopped talking and she asked, "Well? What are you loudmouths going to do about it?" After a moment they all tucked their tails between their legs and slunk away.

The Wolverine

A wolverine was walking along the forest floor mumbling angrily to herself when a raven overheard her. Now wolverines, despite their reputations, are usually quite cheerful creatures. It's said they have such short legs because god never gives anyone more than they can handle and apparently even he thinks they are kind bad ass.

So he called down, "Why are you in such a bad mood?"

"My girlfriend just broke up with me," she snarled.

"Why?"

"Let me put it this way. When someone asks you 'what is the basis for your relationship?' Do not answer 'spite' even as a joke."

The raven nodded and said, "Look on the bright side. At least you were right."

The Honey Badger

A honey badger walked past a dozing male lion and looked back to where he had earlier seen the pride hunting water buffalo. He asked the lion, "How is it you have so many wives?"

"Just lucky I guess," replied the sleepy lion.

When the pride returned they fed their male and then went to feast by themselves. Now a honey badger is one of the most ferocious animals around and even lions are loathe to mess with one under any circumstances, so he just sauntered up to the lionesses and asked, "I was wondering. Your male does little for you besides making babies. He's lazy and greedy and you do all the work. Why do you put up with that arrangement?"

One lioness said, "That's the way it has been for as long as we know. A male ion gathers a pride and we all work together while he reaps the benefits."

"Why? It seems you would all be better off without him."

"Because without a male the rest of us would, sadly, die off. And if a lion had only one mate like other animals yet continued to act the way our males do, there wouldn't be any witnesses around to stop us from killing them."

The Cat

A cat and her lover, a ferret, were walking the streets one day and as they went along other cats saw them and made fun of them. The ferret fretted about their insults and whether it would make her girlfriend decide to leave her, but the cat did not even seem to notice. When they got home the ferret asked, "Doesn't it bother you the way your friends and family talk about us?"

"Not at all. I just keep in mind that at least I am not as judgmental as those self righteous egotistical bigoted short sighted useless morons."

The Boar Who Became a Sow

After a tidal wave a boar and a dingo washed up on a small island. Alone together with only each other for company it was not long before the boar began feeling amorous towards his only friend. But while they got along any attempts he made to get closer to her were rebuffed no matter how many times he tried or how long they were alone. The boar had lived on a farm and knew that canines were fairly amorous, even more so than pigs, but nothing ever came of it.

Finally one night the boar prayed to the gods for something to make the dingo love him. The next morning he and the dingo were shocked that the boar had in fact been transformed into a sow. The former male was still staring in shock when the dingo came up and happily wagging her tail gave the sow a kiss on the nose.

Several weeks later the god of the island appeared and asked the sow how she liked having her wish granted. "My relationship with the dingo is great, but strange. Why couldn't you have changed her instead of me?"

"Because male or female, both of you still like females. If I changed her you wouldn't have wanted her. Only by changing you could I give you both what you wanted."

A Dead Magpie

One day a magpie went before the other animals of the forest and loudly declared that she was attracted to other females and did not care who knew because she was brave and would live her life her way. The other animals did not like that, either her declaration or her defiance. They quickly tore her to pieces.

The Obedient Daughter

A young chipmunk was warned by her father that all males were rapscallions who would do nothing but take advantage of her. hey would use her, get her pregnant, and more or less ruin her life. He made her promise never to be alone with one if she could help it. Obedient daughter that she was, she readily agreed.

When it came time for her to choose a husband he picked one for her and brought him to meet her. Only they found she had already gotten married to a pretty young ground squirrel. On hearing this her horrified father had a heart attack on the spot.

The Woman Who Loved Women

There was a man who heard stories of a neighboring village where a woman lived who was known for seducing women. Unsure if this was true he went there and walked around until he saw a woman outside her house kissing another woman. When the other woman left he went up to the woman who remained and asked her, "Is it true you seduce other women."

"Not at all. The one who just left seduced me."

He quickly turned and followed the path of the other lady. On the way he almost caught up to her several times, but each time she seemed to be kissing another woman goodbye and rushing off. Finally he caught up to her and asked, "Why do you seduce women?"

"Why not? Men do it all the time."

"But wouldn't you rather seduce a man or be seduced by one?"

"I have been," she confided.

"How was it?" He asked stupidly.

The Raven's Choice

One day a raven was approached by a robin and a dove. They had all been friends for some time and done many things together. Both of them had fallen in love with her and wanted her to be their girlfriend. After a bit of thought the raven chose the robin. The dove, heartbroken, began to cry and asked, "Why did you choose her and not me?"

"Because, when I thought about it, she was the one I did not want to make cry."

The Ant Eater

Every female in the forest was in love with the ant eater. She had long flowing hair, beautiful long claws and… well several other features they found truly titillating. But for a long she ignored most of the animals and simply basked in their adoration and desire for her. Finally though she decided she no longer wanted to be alone and announced that she was looking for someone to marry. But she did not want someone who chose her just for her appearance and living alone she did not know them enough to choose. So she said, "Anyone who truly wants to be mine, come to me with proof that you can make it worth my while." Many of the animals were intimidated and dropped out, either because they felt unworthy or did not think they could defeat some of the others.

The bear came first and showed her how she could use her claws to dig out ant hills.

The second was the gorilla who was able to get the ants out without destroying the hill.

A rat showed how she could dig a hole into it and get even more out in one go than the gorilla.

Finally the elephant came up and said, "Forget what I can do for you, what can you do for me?"

The ant eater fell for her immediately and said, "I was wondering when someone would ask. I can take care of myself. What I want is someone else I can take care of." And to answer the question she showed the elephant how she could dig up roots and water with her claws in even the driest ground. To thank her the elephant easily cracked open a nearby termite mound.

Equal partners the two left together, happy and content.

Separate Ways

Two girls fell in love and got married. Five years later one of them had changed. The other was exactly the same as when they met. That one still loved the girl she married. The one that changed had fallen out of love. Naturally they divorced and each went her own way because as soon as someone asks if their relationship is over, it generally is. One chose to never love again. The other was married four more times, each time thinking "this is the one". Her third wife, who had never been in love with a woman before, fell in love with another woman and stayed happily married until the day she died. The second went back to men and had three children. The fourth died in a car accident and the last one simply disappeared one day with no explanation.

The Question

A bat and an owl had fought over prey for years. Each night one would swoop in and intentionally steal food from the other. Often ignoring something easier to get to do it. There was no reason for this. One just did it one night and the other retaliated. Neither could even remember who started it and if it had been intentional. Whichever one would lose would spend the day seething and plotting her revenge.

One night the bat was swooping in to snatch a mouse from the owl who was quite hungry. If the bat succeeded this would be the third night in a row the owl went hungry.

As she lined up her dive the bat saw a human hunter. In the dark he did not even know the bat was there, but he could make out the plumage on the owl and was already lining up a shot. The bat continued her dive and the owl saw her coming, moving to protectively block the perceived attack. She was shocked as the bat swerved, presenting her back to the owl and facing the ground. But before the owl could even form a thought the shaft of the arrow pierced the bat and sent it tumbling to the ground.

The owl on instinct just flapped her wings and flew away from where she had been, dropping the small night bird she had caught. Down below the hunter cursed and wandered off, looking for new prey of his own. The owl meanwhile swooped down to where the bat had fallen and was still barely alive.

"Why?" She asked the bat.

The bat did not answer. She wanted to think the owl knew the answer. With a smile on her lips she closed her eyes and died.

The Missionary

A missionary was sent to a small island to convert the people there away from their god and to Christianity. She had been doing so on the islands for many years, convincing the islanders to give up their "witchcraft" in favor of true religion. She had help. Cadres of believers who, at her command would (and had on several occasions) burn some of the less tractable natives as an example of what would happen if they defied the new god. She believed she was doing the right thing, saving their souls, and driving out the devil. At least when she started. Now it was more of a chore. She hardly even heard the screams of smelled the scent of burning flesh any more.

One day while arranging another demonstration involving three natives they had picked out three particularly irritating doubters. A great warrior, an old woman, and a beautiful and clever young priestess. The missionary instantly fell in love with the priestess.

That night when her men were asleep she snuck to the place they were held and acted to free the priestess, before she could be executed. The priestess was grateful and impressed with the missionary for being so brave, but when she went to free the other prisoners the missionary stopped her and said they did not have time for the others. She just wanted to take the priestess and run away with her. Because she loved her.

Realizing what kind of person the missionary really was who had killed so many for her faith but was willing to betray it for her own selfish desires the priestess picked up a rock and bashed the missionary over the head. As she died the missionary screamed and the guards came to grab the priestess whom they killed immediately. She died with a proud smile on her face, having slain a monster. A short time later without the missionary egging them on her followers slowly disbanded and went home, leaving the islands in peace for a time.

The Two Sisters

Twin princesses were born in a kingdom and their parents disagreed on how to raise them. Their mother was indulgent and wanted them to be free to experience life and all it had to offer. The father was strict and protective and wanted to protect them from everything. After much arguing the two decided that each would raise one daughter in her own way and not interfere with the other's method.

The princess raised by her mother the queen became a free spirit and a bit wild. She had many lovers and went to parties and was all around considered by the people to be somewhat less than a proper princess. Many were embarrassed by how she acted.

Meanwhile the sister raised by the king was prim and proper and always polite and her interests were subdued. Everyone said how nice and sweet she was and what a great queen she would make one day.

What nobody knew was that a neighboring and hostile kingdom had sent a spy to infiltrate the castle and seduce the princesses. She was disguised as a maid and soon enough the sweet and proper princess was easily under her sway, Soon she was practically the maid's love slave. But when she made her move on the wild princess, her sister quickly saw through the ploy and exposed her. The spy was arrested and interrogated for information and the wild princess was a hero to the kingdom and a few years later she was crowned the queen while her sister was married off to a queen to the south to secure a treaty.