22Amnesia stories... so many amnesia stories! I threw all my favorites into a blender and hope the ensuing smoothie of forgetfulness will amuse you.
As always, I intend no copyright infringement and the characters continue to be the property of their creators.
SLYMPH XLGF ZBN
"You know, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to make heads or tails of this cryptography stuff," lamented Amanda as she stared at the tiny slip of paper. "I don't even know where to start to understand this."
"It's not for everyone," agreed Efraim, "but for what you're going to be doing, you don't need to understand it, you just need to know it exists."
Amanda rolled her eyes. "Oh good, finally something I need to know."
Efraim smiled in sympathy. "And for this one, you have no possibility of cracking it without Agency computers and keys, anyway," he added.
"So what was everything you just told me?" she asked plaintively.
"Just a primer on what kind of codes there are," he answered. "At different times in the field, you might end up seeing any number of types of code: simple letter substitution, number substitution, keyword ciphers… There are lots of possibilities."
Amanda's confusion showed on her face. "But how will I know what they are?"
"You'll get more in depth stuff in your real classes as you continue on with Agency work," Efraim replied. "But at this stage, you just need to show some smarts about it."
"What kind of smarts?"
"Well, you're already getting training on some of the basics right? Simple tailing techniques, recognizing key words in other languages and whatnot, aren't you?" he waited for her nod. "But in order to qualify for the Station One classes, you'll need to do a series of tests ahead of time to show your general aptitude.'
"Station One? What's that?"
"It's an Agency training center," he answered. "They run you around a bunch of obstacle courses, teach you driving techniques, assess your abilities under pressure, that kind of stuff."
"So I have to qualify to go the place to qualify to do training?" Amanda asked, her brow wrinkling.
"In a manner of speaking." Efraim grinned at her. "But it's a bit of a foregone conclusion you'll go. Lee has suggested you take the courses, right? And Billy has always thought you were a good fit."
"He has?" Amanda looked pleased.
"He sure has. At least, he has when he's not busy complaining about your tendency to rush in without thinking or do things without telling him, or getting yourself kidnapped, or tied up or…"
"Okay, okay, I get it!" she interrupted him. "I'm always in trouble!"
"Not really," he said, laughing. "Sometimes it's Scarecrow that's in trouble."
"And I make it worse?"
"No, actually, quite the opposite," answered Efraim reflectively. "You really have an unerring knack of doing the right thing at the right time."
"Oh no," said Amanda, shaking her head. "You were right the first time – I'm always rushing in without thinking."
"Well, it's been successful so far," Efraim shrugged. "And training isn't any good if the person taking it isn't brave enough to use it. You just need to- "
"Be kept on a leash?" supplied Amanda, flippantly.
Efraim choked with laughter and held up his hands defensively. "Hey, I would never stoop to a bad K-9 squad joke about something like this. I was going to say you just need recognize better how to direct your instincts."
Amanda looked disheartened. "I do try not to get into trouble, you know, but things just seem to happen to me."
Efraim leaned forward on crossed arms and looked at her across the table, completely serious now. "Amanda, have you ever heard of something called the Bystander Effect?"
She shook her head. "Please tell me it's not going to be something about how me interfering in things makes them worse."
Efraim chuckled. "Quite the opposite. It's an odd bit of psychology that says that the more people are around, the less likely it is that someone will step in to help someone in trouble."
"What? That doesn't make any sense at all," she said.
"It really doesn't, does it?" he agreed. "And yet it happens all the time – on a crowded street, when someone gets mugged, or when someone has a heart attack, or anything like that, most people will do nothing because they assume someone else will step up and do something."
"Oh my gosh, that's just awful! I could never do that!" Amanda exclaimed.
"Oh believe me, we all know you couldn't," Efraim grinned at her. " It's the reason you helped Lee the day you met him and why you stayed with me that day Walt Kimball attacked the coffee shop instead of running away." He cocked his head to see if she was following what he was saying. "And some people would say you were crazy to get involved, but actually that's what makes you a good candidate for training – because your instinct is to do something when almost everyone else would simply stand back and not get involved."
"But that's just what anyone should do," she argued.
"They should, but most people don't," he replied, leaning back in his chair. "You see a problem and your first thought is how to solve it, even if it involves personal risk."
"Well, when you say it like that, it does sounds like I'm acting dumb – racing in without thinking," she complained.
"Not dumb, just impulsive. And that's where the training comes in – to help you see and mitigate the risks before you act."
"So that I don't rush in?"
"No, you'll still rush in," he said confidently. "You'll just be better prepared to do it less dangerously."
Amanda was silent, considering everything Efraim had said. "And this slymph thing is part of that?" she asked finally.
"Code breaking isn't usually a life-saving skill, so no, but on the other hand, I can think of nothing that would make Lee happier than finding out you have a genius for it that would keep you safely locked up in an office," he teased her.
"Really?" she asked, sounding a little hurt.
"No, not really," he said, moving swiftly to reassure her. "I think his favorite thing in the world is getting to pretend to be outraged later and telling everyone what you did and acting like he's not impressed."
"He's not impressed. He's never impressed," Amanda protested. "He's always annoyed."
"He's always worried after the fact, and annoyed that you could have been hurt" Efraim conceded, "but I was there when he held an entire room spellbound with a description of you taking down a Russian spy with nothing but a chocolate cake and a copy of War and Peace." He shook his head in amazement. "I wish I'd seen that."
"There was also a bedpan," admitted Amanda. "It was handy and I didn't have time to get anything better," she rushed on, in response to his stunned look.
Efraim gazed at her, a small smile chasing across his face. "You are going to knock 'em dead at Station One," he said finally.
"You think so?" Amanda looked genuinely pleased.
"I do. You see opportunities other people miss." He glanced up and nodded at something past her shoulder. "And here's our fearless leader now."
Amanda turned in her seat to watch Lee approaching. He was crossing the bullpen towards the meeting room where they were waiting, his long legs eating up the distance, and his long dark coat billowing behind him like a hero from a romantic novel. His normally perfectly coiffed hair was looking windblown and messy, which somehow unfairly made him even more attractive. She bit her lip and smiled inwardly – she'd known the man for months and was still taken aback occasionally at how good-looking he was. Most of the time she was used to it, he was just Lee but every so often, at moments like this, well, she took the opportunity to enjoy it. As he dodged his way through the desks, Lee looked up and saw them through the glass, his face lighting up with a warm grin that made her heart skip a beat.
"You look happy," Efraim greeted him as he walked in the room.
"Probably just the after effects of my mud wrap and eucalyptus steam," Lee remarked as he slid into the chair beside Amanda. "My contact at the spa wasn't there, but at least I got to enjoy myself so it wasn't a complete waste of time. Please tell me you're having a better day than I am. Did you get anything from the elevator guy?" he looked at Amanda hopefully.
"I don't think so," she shook her head. "He said the only thing he's heard about polo all week is that the Argentinian ambassador is seeing a little too much of his stable manager's wife if you know what he means." She paused when Efraim chuckled. "I assume that means what I think it means and not what you were hoping it means?"
"Yes," grunted Lee. "It means the ambassador is definitely having a much better week than I am."
"Well, I have something to cheer you up," said Efraim, pushing the piece of paper at him. "That came with my chili dog at Milo's."
Lee let out a muted whoop, then his brow furrowed. "What does it say?"
"It's in code, Scarecrow. At the moment it doesn't say anything," Efraim pointed out gently.
"I know it's in code," Lee spluttered. "But don't you know what it says?"
"I know this will come as a shock to you," Efraim answered. "But I haven't actually memorized every single code in the Agency. Even I draw the line at cluttering my brain up with things I don't need to." He turned to Amanda and went on in a conversational tone. "Did you know that Albert Einstein never bothered to learn his own phone number because he said if he ever needed to know it, he'd just look it up in the phone book?"
"He was in the phone book?" Amanda couldn't resist playing along, watching out of the corner of her eye as Lee's exasperation rose.
"He was. I guess 1950's Princeton was a pretty small town."
"Well, this isn't a very small town and I need to figure out what this means!" complained Lee, waving the piece of paper around.
"Oh for Pete's sake, just give it to me – I'll go pull it up on the computer," Efraim held out his hand and rolled his eyes. "Come on, Amanda, I'll show you how it's done."
Lee held out the slip, saying "Hey! No showing off, Hotshot. You have a girl already."
"And I have a girl who already knows her way around a code program," smirked Efraim as he got to his feet and took the paper. "But if you feel the need to impress Amanda, by all means, let's head to a computer and you can show us what you've got."
"You know those things hate me," groused Lee. "I'd probably end up setting off the nuclear launch codes if I tried."
"You can do that from here?" asked Amanda. "Oh my gosh, maybe I shouldn't work here after all. That sounds terribly dangerous."
"No, of course, you can't…" Lee trailed off as he realized she was laughing at him. "Very funny, Miss Not-Even-A-Fulltimer-Yet. Don't you know you're supposed to respect your superiors?"
"Superior?" snorted Efraim as he led the way across the bullpen to his desk. "Who's being a hotshot now?" He tapped away on the keyboard, pulling up the code files and logging in with a swipe of his employee pass. "Okay, let's see what we have here."
He typed in the first word. "S-L-Y-M-P-H is… ALABAM."
"Alabama?" said Amanda.
"No, oddly enough," Efraim scowled at the screen. "Just Alabam."
"Well, what on earth does that mean?" asked Lee.
"No idea. Let's see what the rest of it says. Okay, X-L-G-F means POLO, and Z-B-N comes out as GAS."
"Gas?" questioned Lee. "What does Polo De Gregorio have to do with gas?"
Efraim pulled up a new screen and continued typing. "There's a luxury airplane sales and maintenance company called Alabam out at Dulles – maybe they're going to do something when his plane is refueled?"
"Phillip put sugar in Dean's gas tank once," commented Amanda. "It was never the same after that."
"I don't think a couple of spoonfuls of sugar is going to do much damage to a passenger jet," laughed Lee. "But the question is, what would? And what's the connection of this company to the rebels? Are they enemies of De Gregorio or are they being used without knowing it and this is just alerting us to where the rebels aim to infiltrate security? Maybe they're planning to hijack it?"
"All good questions," said Efraim. "So where are you going to start?"
"With a thorough background check on Alabam, I think."
Lee reached for the slip of paper beside Efraim's keyboard but managed to knock it off the table instead. As he leaned to pick it up, Amanda did the same and their foreheads cracked together.
"Ow," she shrieked, stumbling forward and clapping a hand to her forehead where it hurt.
Lee reached to steady her with one hand, while he pressed his other hand against his own head. "Amanda, I'm so sorry! Are you-?" As he leaned in to check on her, she straightened up, cracking the top of her head against his jaw. As he yowled in pain, she sprawled backwards, landing on the floor with a wince. She sat for a moment, trying to catch her breath before attempting to stand up again, instantly deciding against it when she saw stars and letting herself bump gently back onto the floor.
Lee, meanwhile, had fallen back against the desk and was holding his jaw, his eyes closed against the smarting pain.
The whole thing had taken only a few seconds, so it took Efraim a beat to take it all in before he dropped out of his chair and knelt beside Amanda.
"Holy cow!" he exclaimed, running a hand over her scalp to check for injuries. "I hope that sounded worse than it felt!"
"How did it sound?" groaned Amanda.
"Like one of Rocky Balboa's training sessions," he answered, wincing as he found the rapidly growing goose egg on the top of her head.
"Well, it felt worse than that," she answered. She managed to lift her head enough to squint at Lee who was still braced against the desk looking dizzy and moving his jaw tentatively as if he wasn't sure what had happened. "Are you okay, Lee?"
He ran a hand over his temple, then looked down at her through cloudy eyes. "I think so. Everything seems to still be attached but I think my teeth may be in a different order than they were a few seconds ago. I know I've complained about you being hard-headed, but you didn't have to prove it."
"At least you're upright," she grumbled.
Lee moved to bend to help her up, but turned grey and leaned back against the desk. "Sorry, but it might take me a few minutes to help you with that. Otherwise I'll just end up joining you down there."
"So now there's a rule that only one of us can be down here?" grumbled Amanda, as she sat with her hands pressed against her head.
"Neither of you should be down there." Efraim stood back up and gently helped Amanda to her feet, before pushing her to sit down in his empty chair. She gave a little groan as she leaned back and closed her eyes.
"Can someone please make the room stop spinning?" she asked.
"And get the floor to stop moving?" Lee added.
Efraim looked at his friends with growing concern. "I think the two of you should both get checked out in the clinic."
Lee waved him off immediately. "Don't be ridiculous. I've been punched by bad guys harder than that."
"I haven't," muttered Amanda. "Ow!" she gasped as Efraim prodded the goose egg.
"No, seriously. That sounded really bad," he said.
"It was just loud because Scarecrow's head is hollow," sniped Amanda, tentatively straightening up.
"There, see?" said Lee. "We're fine – she's already insulting me."
"Except she doesn't usually insult you," Efraim pointed out. "So that's a point for me. You should both get checked for concussion."
Lee glared at him blearily. "Well, you can still forget it. I've been through that stupid concussion protocol so many times I could do it in my sleep."
"You're not supposed to sleep when you have a concussion," said Amanda in a tart tone.
Lee pointed at her triumphantly. "See? She knows it too! No need for us to go getting poked by doctors since we're both obviously thinking clearly."
"That's debatable," replied Efraim. "Amanda? Come on and get checked out. If you go, he'll go."
"Cheap shot," snarked Lee.
Amanda gave herself a small shake and looked around the room, blinking. "No, I think Lee's right actually. Now that the first wave has passed, I just feel sore – the doctors have more important things to do with their time than tell me how to put a bag of frozen peas on my head."
Efraim rolled his eyes. "Fine, but then you shouldn't stay here. You'll get distracted into doing work and that's the last thing you need."
"He's right," agreed Lee. "There's no reason for you to stay here anyway, especially if you're not feeling well."
"Oh no, I'm fine," she protested. "And I can help, as long as I'm not running around."
"Well you won't be running around if you go home," Lee pointed out. "And I don't need your help."
"That's not true – you needed me this morning when I went to talk to the elevator guy," said Amanda with a hurt expression.
"Yeah, but that was just to save me some time," said Lee. "I didn't really think he'd have anything and I knew it wouldn't be dangerous."
"So you just sent me because it was a boring little thing you couldn't be bothered with?" asked Amanda. "Because you wanted to have extra time for your - what did you say? - eucalyptus steam?"
"Yes," he replied with unfortunate honesty due to his pounding head.
"So, first you think I should be taking some of the recruitment classes and now you think I can only be trusted with things you think are beneath you?" Her voice started to rise, but that hurt her head too much and by the end she was wincing.
"Yes, I mean, no, not like that," Lee attempted to defend himself but he was still feeling dizzy after their collisions and his response time was lagging. "There are things you're better suited for, that's all." He missed Efraim shaking his head in despair at the way this argument was going.
"Well if you don't think I'm capable of even making a few phone calls for you, I don't know why you'd think I could do that Station One place!"
"Now hang on a minute! Station One? What idiot said you were going to Station One?" asked Lee. "You haven't even done the basic civilian training classes yet."
"I said that," interrupted Efraim. "It's the obvious step – once she's done that training," he added, turning to Amanda. "Sorry if I made you think it was imminent."
"Well, it sure as hell isn't imminent!" interjected Lee. "You've only been working here four months – you shouldn't be thinking about that at all!" he stuttered to a halt at the expression on Amanda's face. "I mean, not yet!"
"When I say that kind of thing to the boys, it really means 'never'," commented Amanda bitterly. "You said I'd be good at this. You said I could be like a partner!"
"And you will be! You are!" Lee backpedaled. "I just didn't mean right away – I mean, come on, you just almost knocked yourself out standing by a desk! Can you imagine how much more dangerous it is out in the real world?"
"Yes. I can," she responded in an icy tone. "Because I have been out there with you! And when I was, I was helpful! And besides – you're also standing there with a cut on your chin and loose teeth and I don't see Billy telling you that the outside world is too dangerous for you!"
She turned to look at Efraim. "You know what? You were right. I should go home and find that bag of frozen peas and an aspirin. Suddenly I feel like I wouldn't very helpful here today after all."
Efraim gave a curt nod of approval. "I'll drive you there."
"Oh now you're just being silly!" she exclaimed, tossing her hands in the air. It's a tiny bump on the head…"
"Two bumps. Two large bumps," interrupted Efraim.
"Two tiny bumps and maybe a little headache," she amended as she pushed herself up and out of the chair. "You don't need to leave work and drive me home, just because I'm having a klutzy day."
Efraim held up a finger in front of her face. "How many fingers am I holding up?" He began moving it back and forth.
Amanda automatically followed it with her eyes. Almost immediately, it started to make her feel dizzy and she gave an annoyed snort and reached out to grab it. "Stop! Just stop! I'm fine and I just need to go home and get away from you and this nonsense! Honestly, Phillip and Jamie are less annoying than you are when you get a bone to gnaw on!"
"I don't know how you did it, Scarecrow, but you've turned a once sweet and charming lady into a copy of you as a bad patient," said Efraim, sadly. "I hope you're proud of yourself."
"Amanda," Lee interrupted guiltily. "Maybe he's right, maybe you should get checked out."
"Are you going to get checked out?" she shot back. "No, I didn't think so," she said when he took too long to answer. "Just stop nagging, both of you. I'm fine!"
"Well, at least let me walk you to your car," said Efraim.
"I'll walk with her," said Lee, quickly. "I caused all this, it's the least I can do." When Amanda looked like she was going to argue, he held up a hand. "I have to go chat with Crawford up in the Q Bureau anyway – see if this Alabama place is in any of his files. They might already be on his radar if they're some kind of front."
"Alabam," corrected Efraim. "Need me to write it down? Maybe your memory got jogged loose, just like your teeth."
"Very funny," Lee glowered at him. "Watch and see how much I'm laughing next time you hurt yourself."
"I very sensibly stay behind a desk and out of trouble," said Efraim. "Oh wait, that's right – you just knocked yourself on your ass doing exactly that, didn't you?"
"Definitely worse than Phillip and Jamie," Amanda scolded them as she stood up. "I'm leaving before the two of you get to the childish name-calling." She headed for the bullpen door, and only someone watching carefully would notice how gingerly she was moving.
The two men looked guilty and Lee scrambled to catch up with her, sliding his hand to the small of her back as support. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked. "I'm sorry about what I said. You will be great at the classes, you know – I was just taken by surprise at hearing you're already planning ahead to Station One. I thought you could ease into it all more slowly, you know?"
"I'm fine," she answered, sounding weary. "And I'm sorry too. I mean I only even heard about Station One when Efraim mentioned it while we were waiting for you. You're right about taking the time to train, I just overreacted – probably because I have a headache coming on." She lifted a hand to her temple and touched it gently, but still winced even at that light touch. "Your head is ridiculously hard"
"You are not the first to say that," he answered with a faint chuckle. "My uncle, for one, would say that you could have discovered that a lot less painfully just by looking at my report cards."
"I don't believe that," she gave him a sideways look. "No one gets this far in the Agency without their fair share of smarts."
"Oh my grades were fine," said Lee, pressing the elevator button. "I could just never resist arguing with every one of my teachers."
"Why does that not surprise me?" she asked, ducking under the coats as she stepped into the elevator. "Oh my," she added as she straightened up on the far side of the clothes and the elevator started to move. She had gone a little pale and put a hand out to brace herself against the wall of the car.
"Amanda, are you sure you're alright?" asked Lee, reaching out to take her free arm.
"It's nothing. I just moved too quickly," she said. "And it's warm in here. I'll feel better when I get out into the fresh air."
Lee looked at her doubtfully – he didn't find it warm but he'd heard about women having hot flashes. He thought that was usually older women, but for all his dating history, he'd managed to avoid learning much on that topic.
The elevator shuddered to a stop at the Georgetown lobby level and he followed her out into the reception area.
"You're sure you don't need a ride home?" he asked again.
"I'm sure!" she snapped before taking in a deep breath and speaking more calmly. "You don't even need to walk me to my car. I just need to go home and take some aspirin and I'll call you in the morning, okay?"
"Okay," he replied, worried frown on his face. "But make that call when you get there, will ya?"
"When did you turn into such a worrywart?" Amanda smiled at him.
"When I met a woman who always acts without thinking," he responded. "And then ends up in trouble."
"Funny, Efraim was just saying that about me too. And here I thought I was just a boring suburban mom all this time."
"Never boring," quipped Lee. "I have never once complained that you're boring. But call me anyway, will ya?"
"Uh huh," said Amanda. "If it will make you feel better."
"That and a bottle of aspirin will make me feel a lot better," he answered, turning to walk up the stairs towards the upper offices.
Amanda turned to head out the door, only to be called back by the peremptory tones of Mrs. Marston the receptionist.
"Mrs. King," she said, look at her over the top of her spectacles. "Haven't you forgotten something?"
Amanda looked confused. "Oh my gosh – are we supposed to know the password to get out as well? Because if we are, I'm afraid I don't know it. Or is it the same as the one to get in? Today's was…" She stopped and concentrated but couldn't think of anything past the creeping pain of her burgeoning headache. "Saucepan?" she hazarded.
"No. Mrs. King," said Mrs. Marston sternly, holding out her hand. "You have forgotten to turn in your guest badge."
"Oh! Of course!" Amanda fumbled with the fastener and handed it over with an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry- I butted heads with Mr. Stetson downstairs and it's left me a little lightheaded."
Mrs. Marston turned her head to look at Lee who had stopped on the landing to enjoy the show. "You are hardly the first woman to say that, I'm sure."
Amanda blinked, not certain whether the older woman was joking or not. "No, I'm sure I'm not." She looked up at Lee, who gave her a wink. She smiled at them both in turn and walked out the front door.
She paused on the doorstep, thinking back over the argument she'd had with Lee downstairs. It had been a silly one, and he had apologized, but part of her was left wondering if he really thought she'd never be a real agent. He'd been so encouraging just a few weeks before but now it seemed like he was rethinking that. "What made him change his mind?" she asked out loud.
She had been feeling overly warm inside and for a moment, the feel of the wintry air on her face was a relief. Then, in a heartbeat, the wave of heat and nausea returned and everything went black.
