Daniel

It has been days since the devastation of our long-time friends. When the vultures circle above, and the wind dies, that is when it happens. I don't believe in tribal superstitions or taboos like our friends here, and I am ashamed to think of myself as the only one who is civilized. The people of our lands know all about the world lost to us, but not those who live outside the walls. I believe the innocent out here; like our friends, have their own civilization. We share so many differences from our friends, but I had seen more peaceful ignorance out here than any of those back home. As I said; the wind died, and the vultures knew there was about to be a feast. Most were killed by people from lands south, and now, here I walk.

Holding the little hand of this nameless little tribal girl is all I'm doing now, but it means so much. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be her age and be simply confused about why her parents aren't walking with us right now. I tell her that her parents are walking with another refugee group, but that is a lie. I saw them get killed. I saw them gunned down by the southern bluff of Jackson's Spring during the attack. Is it wrong to lie to the ignorant, even if it is for their own good or wellbeing? I'm still trying to figure that out, but when I look into the eyes of this little girl and feel her tiny hand in my own, I still don't know. So many were killed, and now we walk to the last remaining village of our friends. It's only me, this little girl, and maybe twenty others.

Walking the wilderness of southern Utah really makes me realize how beautiful this world is, but then I see the train of wounded and grieving people I swore to help protect. Looking at the setting sun, seeing the pink rocks, the green shrubs, steep cliffs, and violet plains of sage don't mean too much when I'm reminded of what man could do to man only a few days prior. It doesn't matter where we go, I know we are still being pursued by people that want all of us killed for some unknown reason. The village is not far off, and though I feel safe in knowing that there's more of us left, I feel the sun's heat, and can't stop my worry for the future.

Upon arrival at the village, I guessed correctly; we were followed the whole time. Even with more of us, the friends I lead were never prepared for war, and neither was I. The sun is almost completely below the western mountains, and shots begin to ring out. *CRACK* everyone is scared; the refugees, the village hunters, myself, and the little girl whose hand is still in mine. More shots interrupt the calm wilderness, and the hunters scramble for some way to protect their only remaining people. Conflict being an alien concept to my friends, they do the only thing they can think to do; bundle together. I work my way through the shamble of scared, wounded, and dirty refugees as they move us to the center in an effort to keep the little girl safe. More shots echo through the weeping of people to my left and right while the screams of our fallen hunters carry into the fading sunset. Through it all, I hear one last thing; a thump and tumble of a grenade rolling between the feet of my friends. *BANG*

All is black before I find myself looking into the starry heavens, and find the only thing I can hear is a sharp ringing. I lift my head and find myself below a pile of the dead, covered in the blood, dirt, and remains of those I spent days leading to an ill-conceived dream of safety. I still feel her hand though. Sprawled out across the sands and unable to hear, I turn to the little girl, but she is nowhere to be seen. That was all that was left of her; just the little hand that had been in mine the whole time. All her friends and family were gone in only a few chaotic seconds over the course of several days, and she joined them. Dizzy from the blood loss, and concussed from the explosion, I feel myself begin to move. Hunters drag me from the pile of dead as they begin fleeing, I release the hand, and fade into more darkness.

It's maybe ten of us now. Me and the few remaining hunters arrived at a secluded refuge in the cliffs overlooking the smoking village where so many more were killed. The sun is not even above the eastern mountains, but there is a barely visible glow as I see the children of Cain still looting the dead and innocent, or burning the now deserted homes. I feel it in my bones, in my blood, and my head; a shake in my limbs fills me with confusion, sadness, and hatred. I hate everything about the world and everything I had done up to this point. So much failure, so little time, and so much death. How? How!? Why!? I did everything right!? Hands trembling, I pull the book from my satchel and feel disgusted at the site of it. I feel my rage boiling; I want to burn it or throw it off the cliff because it let me down for the last time, and I fall to my knees with tears in my eyes. I ask the still, calm, and silent world;

"How could you do this to me!? To them!? I did what you wanted. I lived my life the best I could. I walked in your name, and what has it gotten me!? I tried as hard as I could to help them in every way possible, and it led to them being butchered. I brought them your word, I brought them learning, I gave them medicine, I helped them get away, and for what!? I watched her family get killed, and you took her from this world! What could I have done!? I don't know what you want from me!? Why is it that people who lived their lives perfectly, people who never hurt anyone, people who just wanted to live, could be killed like that!? They never did anything to deserve any of this; they were perfect… Not like me... How could you let all this happen!?... I don't understand this world, You, or what to do anymore…"

The cliffs are still and silent when I hear the shuffling of footsteps behind me. One of the wounded hunters limps towards me, spits the blood from of his mouth, and says, "Are you okay, Daniel?"

I turn to the man still defeated, wipe the tears from my eyes, and say, "Yeah… I'm fine. Just get the others ready to move out soon."

He gives me a nod and turns to go, but stops himself, turns back to me, and pauses for a moment before saying, "…We need you, Daniel." Then, he proceeds to limp back towards the others.

I look back at the glimmering dawn with the sun just starting to show itself over the east. I see the smoke still rising, and I look back down at the book. I see it. It's not glowing, levitating, or speaking in a thunderous voice, but it isn't as disgusting anymore. I see the man gathering the others, and I turn back to the illuminated east. Light is covering more and more of the land with each passing minute, and the killers still roam the scorched village. I look into the twilight of dawn and say one last time;

"Thank you… These lands, this life, Your world; is so… Damned hard… I'm sorry… I'll keep going."

I stand from the rocks, look out over the bright landscape, see all of that awfulness below, and walk back to the others.

(END)

"A man cannot control the Earthly Kingdom, only their trust in the Heavenly Kingdom."

Pastor J. R.