5Crookshanks has gotten old...and very fat. He's not the spring kneazel he once was, when his master was still a nerdy Hogwarts student...
Over and behind him, a fire burns in the grate. Atop the mantelpiece, a clock ticks. The hands are almost in place...
Another clock sits on a higher pedestal. It's got a hand that says RON, and another that says HERMIONE. The RON hand is on HOME, and the HERMIONE hand is on WORK.
Over the mantelpiece, a portrait of Ron and Hermione, on their wedding day, hangs. Hermione's in a slutty wedding dress; there's nothing wizarding about it. Ron's dress robes are a bit more honorable; not the moth-eaten ancient job that he once wore to the Yule Ball with Padma Patil…
In the cellar, the Hall of Dark Wizards is on display. Ron's stuffed and mounted the heads of dark wizards that, as an auror, he's had to kill to subdue. There's Dolohov's head, and Rowle's head, and Crabbe's head, and Goyle's head, and McNair's head, and Nott's head, and Rookwood's head, and the heads of both the LeStrange brothers. Ron once murdered Rabastian as the latter was trying to become an animagus; a crab, of all Muggle creatures... Ron figured that if he caught any dark wizard trying to become an Animagus, it'd be Rowle; he sure was animalistic in a way that made all other dark wizards look like humans...and Bellatrix look like his twin sister.
As macabre as this seems, Hermione just hates it when Ron hunts Muggle wildlife. Especially otters... Especially otters, with Jack Russell terriers as otterhounds...
Speaking of whom, before getting attacked by Greyback, Ron's brother George managed to reconstitute Bellatrix's uterus, after their mother blew it to bits during the Battle of Hogwarts. Ron now uses Bellatrix's tanned uterus as a wineskin when he's doing field work as an auror. Hermione's told him, countless times, to not do that. Ron only mocks her, and reminds her that she has an awful lot of sympathy for a dark witch who once tortured her, and carved the word MUDBLOOD into her arm...
Bellatrix's Fallopian tube openings are fused together; Ron drinks his pumpkin juice from her cervix. As you can imagine, Hermione should be VERY jealous, when Ron does this; he drinks pumpkin juice from Bellatrix's cervix, and half the time, she can't even get Ron to lap her own regal truffle butter.
Personally, George still owns Bellatrix's bladder. HE uses her tanned bladder as a wineskin when he's not a wolf. Angelina's told him not to, as have many of his other pack females... But some tricksters just never evolve...even if they don't ever get over their twin brothers' deaths in battle.
Back upstairs, the flames in the fireplace turn green. Crookshanks grumbles, and crawls out of the way, just as his master's shoe comes down near his tail...
Minister Granger is now back from work. Behind her, as she finishes stepping through, the grate's flames die a bit, and turn back into their usual red color.
Hermione's now the Minister of Magic, after having been Head of the Department of Magical Creatures for a time. She's one of those rare Ministers who WASN'T Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement before becoming Minister. It's just as well; Law Enforcement's the biggest department within the Ministry, and Magical Creatures is the second biggest.
Ron teleports into view, wearing his aurors' robes. He wears a sash around them; Bellatrix's pumpkin juice-filled uterus hangs from it.
Ron and Hermione embrace one another, romantically. Deviously, Hermione pries Bellatrix's uterus from Ron's sash, and tosses it. Pigwidgeon flies by, catches it in midair, and flies off with it.
Ron wasn't at work; he was scouting, for the next hunt. Hermione only permits this as a once-a-year activity. Even so, she hates it when Ron hunts. Muggle or magical, she just can't stand to watch wildlife get killed.
In the royal chambers of the Minister's Castle, Ron and Hermione make sweet love, atop red and gold bedding. Their comforter is patterned with pictures of Jack Russell terriers chasing otters. All around the bed, lit candles levitate. They smell like strawberry and butterscotch, depending on what color they are.
In the sitting room, Crookshanks still sleeps...and purrs at the same time. He's just about too old to get excited...
Crookshanks is so tired and poor-sighted, that he hasn't bothered to notice that this is the first time he's ever slept on this rug. The rug is very exotic, in nature...and very crimson in color...
Slowly, like a magic carpet, the Crimson Cowl ascends. Crookshanks continues to sleep...as if he can't tell he's about to be cat-napped while catnapping.
Levitating, Enchantress appears, near the Cowl. She surrounds both herself and the Cowl in one of her green-glowing force fields. Via this, she teleports out of the Minister's Castle. The Masters have successfully cat-napped the Minister's cat...whether the Minister would stand for that, or not.
