6Christmas Cart Conundrum
Ahhhhhh the winter holidays, a time for togetherness, love, compassion, and unfortunately for those of you who must endure the public trials and hurdles of the one thing that makes every single parent, friend, and co-worker: shopping. Which takes us to our favorite shared birthday duo (yup not kidding look it up) Mirio Togata and Izuku Midoriya pushing a shopping cart through the mall on Christmas Eve day bundled up in their coats and scarves, searching for a gift for their favorite little bundle of joy Eri.
"You sure they'll have it in stock," Midoriya asked with concern, looking at the small paper list in his hand, written on it being a limited-edition blue colored teddy bear that the horned girl had seen on tv many times; making her light up like a tree during the present holiday, something her caretakers took note of.
"Why wouldn't they," Mirio replied whilst pushing the currently empty cart, "I know it's a hot seller but not every kid wants a teddy for Christmas."
"Yeah but it's Christmas eve, this is always the time for last minute shopping, North-Pole mailing, and *gulp* fights."
"Fights?"
The two looked over to a man being rushed away on a stretcher carried by two medical professionals, "OH GOD THERES A CANDY CANE IN MY STERNUM!"
"Don't worry sir we'll have you fixed up in no time!"
"If you can't…tell my wife…not to…use…the American express."
"With all due respect sir, I don't think she would listen!"
"You're probably right…besides…I think they shoved that in my leg."
The two teens looked over in horror and concern at the man, then back to each other, faces pale as snow.
"I see your point," Mirio croaked.
"We should probably make it quick before we find holiday cheer in the wrong places," Midoriya broke a light sweat.
"H-hey we should be a little more optimistic, the crowds are smaller this year because of all the online shopping and it wasn't selling that much last time I was here," Mirio cheered, pumping his fist in the air.
"Y-yeah I guess you're right, nothing will stop us," Midoriya reflected his superiors mood, before they both yelled out a plus ultra.
"Should be around this cor-…ner," the blonde and the green haired teen stopped in their tracks as the toy section came into view, well it would if there wasn't a giant pile of mothers clawing at each other violently and murderously as if they were in a gladiator's arena for the right of becoming Kings; well Queens in this case but you get the idea. All for the same gift that the boys were after, it had become famous via the same way all toys around that time do: maniacal commercials funded by corporations who want your wallet in exchange for your child's soul-happiness…happiness. The sounds of insults flooded the area as the toy was being flung through the air.
"HAND IT OVER YOU MONSTER!"
"OVER MY DEAD BODY COW!"
"NOT MUCH TO LOOK AT ANY WAY I'D BE DOING THE WORLD A FAVOR!"
"I'D BE TO WITH THOSE PUKEABLE HIGHLIGHTS!"
"WELL ATLEAST MY GOODS ARE REAL!"
"OH YOU'RE GONNA GO THERE?!"
"I'VE BEEN HERE!"
"DIE YOU CUN-"
"Um excuse us," the two approached.
"Yes dears," the two women stopped, but still kept hold of the others hair and shirt.
"Are there any uh," Midoriya looked at the list, "Super Mega Awesome Teddy Bear with real fluffy hugs and karate chop action left?"
"She seriously wrote down every detail," Mirio asked.
"No that's its actual name."
"No wonder most of the commercial guys quit."
"I heard one died," one of the women spoke.
"To answer your question, they are over that way," both of them pointed, "Good luck boys there's only one left at the top of that pillar there, apparently they will only let it down for someone who can get it without climbing it."
"Why," Deku asked tilting his head in confusion.
"Because they cant just give the last one away without making others give up, they'd tear the poor soul alive," they looked over at the pillar not quite that high but enough to make it noticeably difficult, being about fourteen feet tall and cylindrical in shape, little shelves in the side odds are for the extras they had sold that day, all of them barren with the only one left being the lone bear at the top; which oddly had a dramatic light shining down upon that, it would've had a chorus if not for the fact that most of them were using make shift weapons to get the subject of this tale.
"Good lord," Deku mumbled, his lips quivering.
"Oh yeah," the two ladies said in unison, "Good luck if you can actually get it, and good luck if you actually think you can escape with it," they hissed out, scaring the two to their core.
"Duly noted mam's," Lemillion spoke as they waved them goodbye to get a tiny bit closer, leaving behind a cartoonish dust cloud of the brawling beauties.
"So, what're we gonna do," Deku asked.
"I have an idea."
"What is it?"
"Simple, you just find a spot behind the pillar, I'll use this trusty straw-"
"Where'd you?"
"Somebody threw it earlier."
"Is that blood on the side?"
"Nah just ketchup."
"…Did you taste it-"
"Anyway, ill roll up a piece of this napkin, put it down the straw, shoot out the spit ball, and knock it into the cart!"
"That's genius!"
"I know right, let's work together and get that toy out of here without becoming floor mats," the two gave a high five then began getting into position. Izuku was able to get behind the pillar with the cart no issue since the guards of the pillar were needless to say busy with trying to avoid murder, but Mirio had trouble getting into a clear shot zone since people kept bumping into him, but was able to adjust, and began shooting.
The first shot was a miss, Deku coming out into view to physically tell him by waving his arms to shoot more to the left, second shot was a miss but only barely, giving the blonde the perfect final aim as his freckled compatriot returned to his place. The final shot was made, knocking the toy down into the cart, nobody noticing over their own struggles; one adult in particular had sharpened candy canes to keep his rivals back, Mirio's que to go. Silently making his way behind the pillar to meet Midoriya, giving him a quick fist bump and a smile as they tiptoed away from cover like bandits in the night.
…
But you seriously didn't think this story would end so quickly did you? No no no, despite the rushed introduction and hit or miss humor, we now get to the good part, as a certain technological oversight now makes this cheery little visit a fight for survival.
A phone call is here! A phone call is here! A phone call is here! A phone call is here! A phone call is here!
The crowd slowly turned their heads to the source of the noise, setting aside their current petty squabbling to notice how the last teddy bear that they all fought for was now in the cart of two boys, their eyes wide and mouths agape. Similar to the two boys themselves, the All Might fanboy in particular looked more distressed than his partner, cursing himself as his phone continued on with its ringtone wishing he had put it on silent, knowing they were now dead in the water.
Speaking of-
"GET THEM," One yelled as the crowd gathered and ran toward them, red in their eyes, nails becoming claws, purses becoming numb chucks, candy canes becoming knives, and teeth becoming fangs.
"BUT WAIT! Let's let him take this call first!"
"…" Midoriya was awestruck barely able to move until Togata nudged him a couple times, seeing the golden ticket presented to them, this call had killed them and saved their skin all at the same time, the ringtone persisting as he took it from his pocket, raising it to his ear slowly as he took the call.
"Hello?"
"Yo Midoriya!"
"H-heeeeeeeeey Mineta, what's up," the teen asked as he slowly got into the cart, his sight not leaving the crowd, who shifted their looks to skeptical, starting to catch onto the split-second plan of escape formulated by the quirk inheritor.
"Well I'm at the mall shopping for a new body pillow."
"I already regret this call."
"So do we," the mob shouted in unison, as Mirio got into place by grabbing the shopping cart handles
"YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHO THE MALL SANTA IS IT'S-"
"Ok, pity call is up," one from the mob shouted as they ran toward the two, Togata rushing the cart away with high speeds toward the check out lane…at the other end of the store.
"GOTTA GO MINETA BYE," Midoriya hung up as the speed of the cart flew him to the back of it, right below his friend's chin.
"HANG ON MIDORIYA!"
"GOT IT," the ten grabbed both sides of the cart.
"NOT THAT, THE TOY!"
"OH, RIGHT SORRY-AGGGH," he turned his head to see the mob of angry adults, mixing together so much in their anguish and rage that it was like a horde of the undead from a video game. True horror of an unimageable degree struck the two like a meteor, making them speed up even more as a way to escape the premature end to their future hero careers, but not taking their eyes off the mob to their own detriment as they soon came in contact with an escalator.
"TOGATA STOP QUICK!"
"WHY CRAAAPP," the cart flew forward as the blonde tripped down the escalating stairs painfully, the pain drowned out by his green compatriot screaming as he gripped the toy for dear life, fearing the impact and saying his prayers. The world continued in what seemed like slow motion to Lemillion, as he lamented the situation at hand.
'Dang it all, this was supposed to be such a simple trip to the store, now me and Deku are facing either certain death or soccer moms with short fuses,' Mirio's thoughts continued as he heard the collective and mutated shouts from their nightmares, 'I'm sorry Eri, we couldn't help you this time,' a tear shed from him as he tumbled while the world faded to darkness around him…
FLASHBACK
Togata, Deku, and Eri sat upon the couch of the 1-A dorms, the little one's brother figures/rescuers had decided to show her all the holiday specials they had watched as kids that she missed out on.
"So he gives you presents," the white haired girl questioned as she tilted her head in confusion.
"Yeah, whenever you're good for the year then he brings you everything you want," Mirio explained.
"Really," she asked with a smile.
"Mhm," Midoriya chimed in, "No matter what happens he always goes around making boys and girls like you happy."
"…" Eri lowered her head, "Have I been good?"
"Yes of course you have," the two said in unison.
"The best kid around," Midoriya smiled at her, as Togata nodded.
"Well…if I am…there is one thing that I really want," the horned girl lifted her head again.
"What is it, remember it can be anything you want," Mirio lifted her up on his shoulders, "Even if you wanna be eight feet tall, although that may take you a little while," he chuckled.
"Or all the candy apples you want," Midoriya made a motion with his arms to indicate a giant hoard of apples, both suggestions made the little one smile, the joy of making this happen always brightened the two's day.
"Well those are great, but I don't want those as much as this one thing," Eri played with Mirio's hair as the boys winked at each other, glad to find out what 'Santa' could get her this year for her first holiday.
"And that is," Lemillion asked.
"It's-"
"NO," the quirkless teen shouted, "ERI WILL HAVE A GOOD HOLIDAY," Mirio steadied himself by grabbing onto the downward escalators railing, standing up quick enough in time to see Izuku still descending in the air, toy in arm. "DON'T WORRY DEKU I GOT YA, AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he shouted once more as he mounted the railing, and ran down it fast hitting the end of it squatting with his legs as hard as he could, and in one feat of superhuman athleticism sprang from his position into the air, just high enough to catch his friend and the toy holding them under his left arm as the right grabbed the shopping cart handle, thrusting it to the ground causing it to bounce lightly as he tossed Deku into it once more.
"Wow, thanks Mirio," Midoriya breathed a sigh in both relief and amazement of the act of his friend, who pushed the cart at the same speeds as before, as the mob had started down the stairs quick as a bullet.
"Don't mention it," he gave him a thumbs up as he also jumped into the cart in front of Midoriya's position, "NOW LETS GO GIVE THAT GIRL THE BEST PRESENT EVER," he held out his arm which clutched a nearby mop from a janitor's bucket, using it as a paddle, shifting his arms from each side of their makeshift vehicle to gains speed without extinguishing the stamina of his legs.
"YEAH, PLUS ULTRA," Midoriya pumped his fist into the air, standing up to the side to help navigate through the mall traffic/chaos, "The checkout stations far but at this speed we should get there in no time!"
"Right," Mirio shouted as he fist bumped his freckled partner, unfortunately taking his eyes off of the 'road' and not seeing the target of the cart, crashing into the front end of it with a large-
THUD!
"OH MY GOD WE KILLED SOMEONE," they screamed in fear, looking dead the target of their getaway.
"…I wish it did…" the victim grumbled out.
A young male with black hair…styled just like-
"TAMAKI," Mirio yelled as he picked his friend from the end of the cart, seeing he was at least still alive, "YOU OKAY MAN?!"
"Yeah…just wounded self esteem as always, what are you two doing in a speed machine in a mall anyway," Suneater asked as his pals helped him to his feet.
"Eri's present has attracted some unwanted attention," Midoriya replied nervously.
"What do you?"
The two pointed behind them, the depressed teen looked to the source, the horrifying amalgamation of those who lied about their ages at birthdays and book clubs to spice up their lives. Instantly understanding the situation.
"QUICK JUST IMAGINE THEM AS POTATOES AND YOU WON'T FEAR THEM," Tamaki advised the two…only to be met with an odd look from Midoriya.
"You sure the hit didn't hurt," the quirk inheritor asked.
"I can hear ringing now," Tamaki grumbled.
"We'll have you checked out later, right now we gotta get to the checkout," Togata took charge as he set his childhood friend down, "Midoriya did we slow down a lot?"
"N-no not from what I can tell."
"Great, I'm not even a proper speedbump," the animal quirk user sighed, Mirio patting his back in support.
"Can you help us steer Suneater," the blonde asked with a smile.
"I guess I can, I did eat my daily servings, so I could use my tentacles to turn us."
"Great that's all we need buddy," Mirio took the mop to increase their speed more and more, as Amajiki prepared the squid tentacle's from his fingertips to push them off the wall they almost smacked into, whilst Midoriya kept tight hold onto the prize of the visit as he used his legs to push the floor on the other side of the cart to make sure they kept their straight forward direction. It was like a well-oiled machine with these three in charge of the motion, but nothing could exactly prepare them for the next target of the mayhem who stuck to them like a bug on a wind shield, another person with black hair but with a much paler complexion than Amajiki, sporting an all-black outfit and a hair bun on the back of their head, as hung over the end with their head down facing the bottom of the speed demon.
"OH MY GOD WE ARE SO SORRY MISS," Midoriya raced over to try and help them up from the madness.
"THAT'S MISTER TO YOU PROBLEM CHILD," the miss had turned out to be none other than Shota Aizawa, looking up at the boy with his quirk active with such sheer intensity that his hair broke from the bun, suspending in air making him look like a demon.
"MR. AIZAWA," the three yelled in fear as they backed to the other end of their vehicle, slumping to sit on the bottom as they held each other, unsure if the crowd or the man in black was truly more frightening.
"Give me one good reason I shouldn't end you three right now," he bellowed out as he progressed to their spot at the pace of a serial killer.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU GET, WE'LL HAVE THAT BEAR," the mob yelled as they continued their pursuit.
"Oh…" Aizawa said.
"Yup," the boys squeaked.
"That's good…someone to hide the bodies," the teacher was ready to stop the cart as the three held out their arms in defense, his student's hands in particular caught is attention, as he held out the bear, "Wait a minute…is that Eri's gift that she wanted so bad?"
"Uh, yes sir," Midoriya replied earnestly, as they all calmed down a bit.
"I'm guessing it's the last one," the red eyed man deactivated his quirk.
"Yes," the boys replied.
DAD MODE ACTIVATE!
"Let's get it to the checkout lane," the man in black took charge, radiating pure determination, as he picked up each of them one by one, "First, Amajiki I need you to tell me the fastest animal you have eaten today."
"Uhhh…I think I had some cheetah today."
"Perfect, jump to the handles and morph your legs, help us gain speed away from those leaches," he ordered as the teen jumped out of the cart, keeping a grip on the handles as he morphed his legs greatly accelerating them away from the mob.
"Midoriya, Togata, I need you both to hang off the left and right sides to keep our balance steady, when I instruct you lean your weight and help us steer."
"Got it," the two yelled, giving a military salute, as they got into position, "What are you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna use my binding scarf to help us turn better. Unless you think the combined weight of two high schoolers can make up all the work?!"
"Not at all sir!"
"Right, now let's get this started," the man in black replied confidently as he activated his quirk and held out strands of his cloth. Using it to grab a pillow from a nearby stand, pulling out some duct tape from his pocket and binding the object to the front of the savior on wheels.
"Why are you doing that Mr. Aizawa," Midoriya asked.
"Because odd's are we are getting more passengers."
"How do you know?"
"Comedy..."
End of Chapter 1
Author's note: I'm going to try and get this plus a TodoMomo story out before Christmas, sorry to be gone for so long guys, been in between jobs and depressed but i think i'm good now, I already have a plan for who is also gonna end up in the cart but suggestions are always welcome, I encourage that you leave a review and I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday season, and I hope you enjoy the ride!
