Chapter One

"I'm looking for Kelly Severide." Sarah Haines hadn't said the name out loud before. It was uncomfortable saying it.

The table of firefighters looked at her. She didn't miss the open appreciation in a couple of their eyes as they looked her up and down. Self-consciously, she clutched her cross body bag in front of her.

"He's probably in his quarters," one of them said, rising to stand.

His size was imposing and Sarah took a step back. Sarah read the name embroidered on his uniform shirt. Cruz.

He smiled and motioned for her to follow him. "Is the lieutenant expecting you?"

Sarah almost let out a nervous laugh at the absurdity of his question. "No," she answered. Kelly was not expecting her in his office today. And he was definitely not expecting her in his life. Ever.

Cruz gave her a questioning look when she didn't say anything more, but didn't ask anything else

Sarah did her best to ignore the stares when Cruz led her through a large room with firefighters gathered around a table, lounging on a couch. She nervously tucked a long strand of light blond hair back behind her ear.

Down a long hallway, through what looked like a bunkroom, her heart picking up its pace with every step.

Cruz finally stopped outside an office walled in with windows facing the bunkroom. Knocking on the open door, Cruz stuck his head inside. "Lieutenant? You have someone here to see you."

Sarah managed a weak smile of thanks for Cruz, though she skirted back when he turned to go, keeping her distance.

She wiped damp palms on her floral skirt. This was her last chance to back out. But that wasn't an option. Not anymore.

She stepped into the office. The words wouldn't come. Not when she was standing in front of him.

Kelly Severide was leaning back in his office chair. His hair was mostly gray, a contrast to a face that was still youthful. His eyes took her in, no flicker of recognition.

She studied him intently, looking for…she wasn't sure what. Some hint of his personality? Answers? She bit her lip. Was this a huge mistake?

"Can I help you?" he asked. He wasn't unkind, but didn't stand or give her any encouragement to take a seat.

"Kelly? Lieutenant Severide?" she stammered. What was she supposed to call him? She should have thought of that.

"Yeah."

"My name's Sarah. My mom…" her voice cracked and she took a minute to steady herself. She opened her oversized purse and pulled out a small stack of photographs, from the days before cell phone cameras. Shoving them toward Kelly she plowed ahead. "My mom is Chandra Haines. You knew her in high school."

Kelly took the photographs. His eyes crinkled when he smiled. "I haven't thought of Chandra in years. How is she?" He paused at the picture of him and Chandra at the beach, his arm slung around her shoulders, both of them smiling at each other.

Sarah looked away from the pictures. Her heart squeezed. "Mom died six months ago."

Kelly looked up from the pictures and met her eyes. "I'm sorry. She was a great girl."

"She was a great mom," Sarah said, her voice thick.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Kelly slid the pictures back across his desk to her. "I don't understand what I can do."

Sarah shuffled through the pictures and handed him one. "My mom was pregnant when she graduated high school. Twenty two years ago. I was born the following March."

Kelly looked at the picture, Sarah as a newborn, held by Chandra.

"You're my dad," Sarah blurted out. The words hung in the air between them as Kelly stared at the picture then looked up at her. He didn't say anything.

Sarah held her breath.

"There's been a mistake," Kelly said, shaking his head. He held out the picture for Sarah to take. "I'm really sorry for your loss, but I'm not anyone's dad."

Everything in Sarah froze at the words. Her fingers went numb, her throat closed up.

"Oh," she said dumbly.

"Your mom was a great lady. If there's anything I can do for you…"

Sarah was shaking her head sharply, her hair falling into her face. She could feel the hot burn of tears behind her eyes, clogging her throat. She grabbed at the pictures. "I shouldn't have…I'm sorry," she choked out.

"Sarah," she heard Kelly say. Clutching the pictures, all she had left of her mom, Sarah spun around and hurried out of her father's office. She half ran past the rows of beds, back into the hallway. She couldn't remember which way she had come from. She turned left, desperate to get out of there. To get away from the man she had waited her whole life to meet.

She burst into the common room, blindly trying to get out of the building.

"Sarah," she heard Kelly call behind her again.

Startled, she dropped the pictures. Crying now, she knelt down to try and gather them.

"Hey are you OK?" a thin blonde asked, kneeling next to her and helping her pick up the scattered photographs.

Sarah just nodded, unable to get words out. A hand landed on her shoulder and Sarah jumped, dropping the pictures she had managed pick up. She jerked away and Kelly took his hand off her shoulder, holding his hands up in a sign of peace.

"Let's talk for a minute."

Sarah shook her head quickly, her hair falling in her eyes. She grabbed the pictures the blonde held out to her and quickly stood, leaving the rest of the pictures on the floor. Clutching the pictures to her chest, she hurried to the door. Out the door, through the garage, and back into warm spring sunshine. Her thin sneakers slapped against the pavement as she ran down the wide driveway to her car.

She made it to her car, dropping her bag and the photos onto the passenger seat before she dropped her head down on her steering wheel and let the tears flow.

A knock sounded on her window and Sarah startled. One of the firefighters. He wasn't much older than her. His shirt had Gallo embroidered on it.

"Are you OK?" he asked, repeating what the woman had asked her. His eyes were dark with concern.

Sarah forced herself to look away from those eyes. She nodded, and shoved the hair out of her face. With trembling hands she turned the key, praying her car would start on the first try.

With a cough, the engine fired up. Sarah avoided looking at the man and pulled quickly away from the curb. Away from her father. Away from her last chance.

#

"What was that?" Casey asked.

Severide still knelt on the floor, looking at the pictures the girl had dropped. Sarah. Sarah Haines. Chandra's daughter.

"Her mom was a friend from high school," Severide said, distracted by a picture of a toddler, her hair so blonde it was almost white. Chandra was pushing the toddler on a swing, laughing at the camera. Two decades later, Severide could almost hear Chandra's infectious laugh.

He looked toward the door Sarah had run out and quickly rose, striding out quickly. His pace picked up when he got into the bay until he was running outside. He made it outside just as Sarah's car pulled out, speeding away down the street leaving a bewildered Gallo in the street.

Footsteps sounded behind him and Stella followed his gaze to watch the car disappear around a corner.

"What was that about?" she asked.

Kelly kept staring after where Sarah's car had been. "She said I'm…I'm her father," he said, the words sounding even less believable when he said them out loud.

"What?" Stella asked. "That's—uh—wow." She shook her head as if that would clear it. "Well, are you?" she asked.

"No," Kelly said, incredulous. "There's no way I could…I would have known…" He looked at Stella and she raised her eyebrows, silently questioning his logic. "I dated her mom my senior year. But I had no idea…"

"Well what did you tell her?" Stella asked, gesturing after where Sarah had driven away. "She looked pretty upset."

"I told her she made a mistake. That I'm not her dad."

"You didn't," Stella winced. "Oh, Kelly, that poor girl."

Kelly rubbed his hands over his face. "I need to find her. I need to talk to her."

"Yeah, you do." Stella looked at the expression and Kelly's face and softened her words. She placed a hand on Kelly's back. "It will be OK, Kelly. You'll make this right with her."

Twenty two years had passed since he had gotten Sarah's mom pregnant. Severide wasn't sure he could make up for twenty two years.

#