2The Following Trailer Is Rated NFM For No F##king Mercy!
Superman inspired you, Superman II entertained you, and Superman III inebriated you. Now, prepare yourself for the Batman & Robin of Superman movies, the Dark Phoenix of DC, the superturd of superhero cinema, that even today, is viewed with disgust and horror as one of the most films ever made. And considering what Shia LaBeouf is responsible for, that's really saying something.
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace!
Return to the dark world of 1980s superhero movies. A time when The Toxic Avenger stalked the theaters, Dolph Lundgren played He-Man and Punisher, and Howard The Duck was the newest nightmare on the block.
Superman is back, and he's ready to face his greatest challenges yet… bankruptcy and foreclosure. With the family farm on the verge of repossession, and the Daily Planet under an unscrupulous new owner, the Man Of Steel must dick around for half the movie in a state of uncertainty while occasionally bouncing back and forth between nuclear disarmament and Lex Luthor.
When Superditz decides to eliminate the world's supply of nuclear weapons, to the delight of Soviet Russia, North Korea, and fundamentalist Islamic nations, Lex Luthor takes advantage of the situation and creates the flamboyant Nuclear Man, a being whose incredible power is only outdone by his fabulous fingernails, and his symbolic status of, "EVIL NUCLEAR ENERGY"! Captain Marvel was more subtle in its portrayal of bullshit ideals.
Watch Superman and Nuclear Man duke it out in an underwhelming series of catfights that make the Floyd Mayweather vs. Manny Pacquiao fight look like Avengers Endgame. Until, of course, it ends with a weakass climax and a speech about how peace will be achieved when the peoples of the world come together in harmony or some similar 1960s Woodstock bullshit.
So punch yourself in the face, a lot, and sit down for a nauseatingly pretentious pile of shit whose smell has carried on down through the decades, combining with the fetid stench of Batman & Robin, Steel, and Catwoman, to create a cloud of toxic failure that hangs over DC to this day (And which the antics of The CW have done nothing to nullify).
Starring:
Ted Turner- Clark Kent
Popeye- Lex Luthor
Pretty In Pink- Lenny Luthor
The Amnesiac- Lois Lane
Fay Wray- Lacey
Manicure Man- Nuclear Man
Hipsterman: The Quest For Bullshit!
I guess an incredibly shitty movie can kill off Superman in a way that kryptonite never could.
