7Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its associated characters!
Summary: COMPLETE. A collection of moments throughout Naruto and Sasuke's lives. Written for the Eclipsed Zine! SNS, canonverse, oneshot.
A/N: First of all - I passed my exam! And it has been such a relief! I've had such a weight taken off my shoulders. And then today was #thankyoupatrons day, and I've just been so filled with gratitude that I wanted to post two stories I've had in the works for a while. So here's the first - the piece I wrote for the first zine I've ever been a part of! I hope you all like it.
Moments
The ground was hard.
It was hard, cold, and every time Sasuke tried to relax, he could feel the soreness of a hundred needles piercing his skin.
He rolled over and shoved the thoughts away. He didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to acknowledge it at all—not the way he had felt resigned (ready) without accomplishing a single one of his goals, not the way it had felt worth it as long as Naruto could somehow reach his, not the scream he had heard just as his consciousness faded away, not the way Naruto's eyes had been filled with desperate, heart-wrenching relief when he had awoken—
He didn't want to think about this.
"...Sasuke?"
Sasuke's eyes opened.
"Are you awake?"
He shouldn't respond. He knew he shouldn't.
"Go to sleep, moron."
"Fine. Whatever."
A pause.
"...Jerk."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. The rest of his body rolled with them.
"What do you want?"
"Nothing."
Sasuke glared at him. It took only a glance—and then another, more nervous than before—from Naruto for him to get the message.
"I just...wanted to know if you were awake. Whatever. I just can't sleep."
Sasuke let out a breath and turned back to stare at the top of the tent. It was just a small one—simple, cheap—but it did the job well enough. Still, Sasuke felt—
"Are you still...hurting?"
Sasuke frowned.
"Like—from Ha—the, um, needles?"
"I'm fine."
Another pause. He could feel Naruto's gaze on him, though, and the discomfort wormed its way under his skin—
"I'll be fine in a few days." He just needed to recover. And he definitely wouldn't be able to do that if he couldn't even sleep—
"...If it hurts, we have that cream that—"
"I'm fine."
"You're not—you're not even asleep right now, just—"
"Damn it, Naruto—"
"Just—"
In the same moment, Naruto grabbed him and Sasuke twisted (firmly ignoring the twinges of pain, like little spots of static piercing through him). Naruto tried to push at him with the jar of cream in hand, and Sasuke used it to his full advantage—one arm occupied was one arm less, and Sasuke was always better than Naruto in getting—
Something wet splashed onto Sasuke's cheek.
He froze, then, just as Naruto ripped himself away. He hunched over the jar, breathing out as if fully focused on that, instead—
Sasuke sighed.
"You're stupid, Sasuke," Naruto mumbled, but his words were thick and his movements were slow and Sasuke just didn't have it in him to resist as Naruto pulled his hand onto his lap.
The cream was warmer than he remembered.
"You're supposed to be this stupid perfect genius, y'know. You're supposed to—" Naruto's voice cut off with a breath, and it hardly took a stupid perfect genius to know the tears were about to start again.
"Don't read into it, loser." Sasuke kept his voice firm. "My body moved on its own."
He heard Naruto let out a breath, short and harsh, through his nose.
"Well, your body's stupid, then." His fingers moved up Sasuke's arm, past his elbow, and Sasuke frowned down at them. The warmth was something he'd expected—you could feel Naruto's body heat from three feet away, most days, but Naruto's fingertips were...soft. Way too soft, for a ninja. They should have been rough and calloused, like Sasuke's, but…
"Gimmie your other hand. Bastard." Naruto punctuated the insult with a tug on Sasuke's arm. Naruto's glares were weak on the best of days (and today was not Naruto's best of days), but Sasuke obeyed nonetheless.
"It's mainly my back," Sasuke offered, after a moment. It was his chest, too, but every moment looking Naruto in the eye felt like a moment too long. Those eyes had no business being so focused (unfaltering, unyielding) for someone who was such a…
"Then, uh—you have to—" Naruto gestured vaguely at Sasuke's torso, and Sasuke sighed. He would have been fine just on his own, without all of this, but stupid Naruto needed it, so—
Sasuke scrunched up his shirt in front of him and rolled to use it as a pillow. He didn't say anything, even as he felt Naruto's eyes on him (those stupid eyes, like they were burning a hole).
"...S'like you have chicken pox."
Okay, nevermind.
Naruto yelped as Sasuke firmly lodged his foot in his stomach.
"Hey—what? You do. It's like—all these spots—"
"Shut up," Sasuke hissed, wrenching his foot back so he could sit up—
"No, no, no, hang on—lemmie get the cream again," Naruto said, and Sasuke felt his hand shove at his back. It felt like bits of sand sparking through his blood (every place, every point the needles had pierced his skin), and Sasuke clenched his jaw and stuffed his face back into his shirt.
(His arms did feel a lot better, now.)
It was barely another moment before Naruto dotted the cream along his back. That hesitation from before was gone (or it felt gone), and that was weird—it shouldn't have been this easy for Naruto to be this close, or this, this gentle—
"Bastard," Naruto whispered, and it was so quiet that Sasuke was pretty positive he wasn't meant to hear it. But Naruto could never stay quiet for long, so Sasuke kept his eyes closed and waited.
"I'm not gonna put your shirt back on you if you fall asleep," Naruto warned him. Sasuke resisted the urge to open his eyes just to roll them. He focused, instead, on the soft touch each time Naruto smudged a bit of the cream onto his skin—
"You—you didn't fall asleep already, did you?"
Sasuke didn't respond.
"Sasuke?"
He didn't know if it was a testament to his own ability or Naruto's complete inability that Naruto still couldn't tell when Sasuke was faking sleep. They were ninjas, for god's sake...not that Sasuke was complaining—the day Naruto could see through him would be—
Naruto let out a breath, and Sasuke felt it, just barely, along his skin.
"Bastard," Naruto said again. It was a strange whisper—laced with something different (softer, calmer) and Sasuke suddenly wondered what his name would sound like if whispered in that voice—
"You shouldn't've done that," Naruto said, still whispering, still different. Sasuke was inclined to agree, but he didn't. "It was stupid. You're stupid, Sasuke."
And Sasuke almost opened his eyes to snap at Naruto, then—something along the lines of whose fault it really was—but Naruto breathed in, and the breath shuddered.
Sasuke wanted to open his eyes for a different reason, now.
"I'm gonna get stronger," Naruto said, and his voice was just a little less whispered, now. "Just you wait. I'll get stronger and I'll be saving you for once."
Sasuke felt the vague urge to snort, but he settled for breathing out, instead. He felt so warm, now…
"I'm gonna save you."
Warm and soft, like Naruto's hands…
"Just you wait."
"Shouldn't you find your own bed?"
Naruto blinked up at him.
"Huh?"
"Your own bed. Your own hospital bed. Should you not be in it?"
Naruto closed his eyes again.
"I can lay where I want, jerk."
"And you want to lay on my bed?"
"I want my arm to stop hurting."
Sasuke looked away. The arm was gone but the pain was still there, a pulsing reminder of his mistakes—
"Tsunade said," Naruto started, eyes still closed, "that we might be able to make some, uh, prosthetics. That we could attach—"
"No."
Naruto's eyes opened. Sasuke didn't look at them.
"No," he told the wall.
Touched, tainted, molded by everyone he'd gone near—no. His body was his own. No matter of convenience would change his mind. Not again. Never again.
"Sas—"
"No."
He saw, out of the corner of his eye, Naruto sag back down against the bed.
"I won't stay here," he said. Best to crush Naruto's hopes before they built themselves up. "I won't run anymore. But I won't stay here."
He felt Naruto's weight shift as he pushed himself up—with the only arm he had left—and then he sighed.
"Yeah," Naruto said, and Sasuke's head snapped to face him. Naruto gave him a soft, tight-lipped smile. "I kinda figured. Why d'you think I keep…"
Naruto waved his hand at Sasuke's bed and looked away. Sasuke was suddenly so very, very sick of the pain he kept seeing in those eyes—
"There's nothing stopping you."
Naruto stared.
"Wh—no," Naruto shook his head, "I can't go, Sasuke—there's so much to fix, I can't just—you know I—"
No, he couldn't. But it was a fair few steps away from wouldn't, and Sasuke could see the desire clear as day in those eyes—
"You're never going to leave the village again?" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You're so stupid."
It felt effortless. Natural. Easy. Sasuke hadn't known it would feel so—
"I'm—!" Naruto scoffed as if he was offended in spite of the brilliant, glowing happiness on his face— "You jerk, I'm not! I'm just—"
"Stupid."
Naruto drove his shoulder into Sasuke's side. All it managed to do was make Sasuke feel warmer.
"You're the worst," Naruto laughed, and Sasuke, for barely a moment, sent the chakra to his eyes. (The sharingan had memorized only pain, so far. It was another thing Sasuke wanted to change.)
The image burned into him, and he looked away.
There was a pause.
"When I'm back," Naruto started again, looking back at him, "to normal—or whatever I'll be—you think I could—you think I could, like, send you my mission schedule, maybe? Or—"
"So you can slack off?"
"No! Just so—if you could maybe—"
"Stop you from doing something stupid?"
"N—Sasuke, you bastard!"
No amount of pain, apparently, could have stopped Naruto from throwing himself at Sasuke. It was a sloppy, laughing mess of a fight—their bodies sat differently, now, and time had yet to teach them how to keep their balance—
Naruto fell forwards, face pressing into Sasuke's neck, and stayed there.
"Pathetic," Sasuke said, closing his eyes.
Naruto's laugh danced against his neck.
"Pathetic yourself," he said, and he pulled back. Well, it was more of a push, with all the momentum coming from Naruto's hand on Sasuke's chest—
Naruto had changed since they were kids. He was more...serious. Calm. There was a focus to him that had steadily grown—even his body fit the part.
But those eyes hadn't aged a day.
"You know, right?" Naruto asked, brushing Sasuke's hair back. His voice was soft and breathless, and Sasuke could feel the memories stirring, somewhere within him, of every time he had heard this voice—this voice when Naruto was vulnerable and honest and something like—
"I know."
The touch lingered on Sasuke's cheek.
"Moron." The word was a breath, and it drew Naruto in with it.
"Bastard." The reply danced against Sasuke's lips—
Funny, how Sasuke's breath seemed to come so much easier as Naruto took it away.
"You're late."
Naruto, Hokage-in-training and Konoha's number one hero, rolled his eyes.
"Good to see you too, jerk."
There was a pause. Naruto let out a breath and scanned Sasuke, from top to bottom, and then up again.
"You changed your hair," Naruto said, smile just as messy and uneven as the rest of him. "It's not as spiky."
"Yes," Sasuke deadpanned. "Hair grows."
For some reason, that made Naruto laugh. It stilled quickly, in the quiet of the night. In the night—it was always the nights, now. Always the nights when Naruto had the time—always the mornings when he had to frantically get back to where he belonged. Sasuke supposed it was only fair, really, to be forced to watch him leave.
"I can only be out for a couple of hours," Naruto said quietly, looking somewhere past Sasuke. "I'm needed tomorrow morning."
Needed—yes. Naruto had crawled, kicked and shouted his way through the ranks of his village. He was growing more important by the day. By the minute, even—
He was needed, there.
"Hiashi's driving me crazy." Naruto sighed, plopping himself down in place. "So's Kakashi, really. Everybody's so set on the status quo."
Sasuke sank down beside him.
"It's like they're happy with it," Naruto said softly.
"Some people don't know any better."
Naruto's head snapped up.
"They do though! They—" He cut himself off in a harsh breath. "Sorry. You're not the person I wanna yell this at."
Naruto pulled his knees to his chest and looked away.
Something about the movement made Sasuke feel sick.
"Naruto," he snapped, and Naruto's eyes were immediately back on him.
"Sorry," he said again. It was another moment where his posture relaxed, though, and it was just enough to make Sasuke relax, too. "How've you been? You look good."
Did he?
"Do I?"
Naruto snorted.
"Don't play the humble card with me now, asshole. I know you're full of it."
Sasuke shoved at Naruto's shoulder. All it did was make him laugh.
"Moron."
Naruto laughed again, and it was as if his whole body swung with the sound.
"You look tired." It was almost by accident that the words escaped him, but Naruto didn't seem surprised.
"No shit," he grumbled, putting more of his weight on Sasuke. "I'm usually way asleep by now."
"That's not what I meant."
Naruto tensed, ever so slightly, and then relaxed again.
"...A little, maybe," he admitted. "It was one of those days, y'know. But it's part of it. It's all part of it. I just gotta keep going."
Sasuke didn't reply. Ever-moving—that was Naruto to a T. Never stopping, never slowing—
Except, perhaps, in moments like these.
Naruto let out another sigh—happier, this time. Sasuke felt something deep within him settle at the sound.
"I wish I could...I know you won't come back, don't act like I'm asking you to come back, I'm not, but I just wish I could talk to you about this. When it's happening. It's all so...I mean, Sakura's great, but…"
"I'm here," Sasuke offered quietly. He had no plans on returning, but no plans on running, either. If Naruto sought him out—
Naruto snorted.
"Yeah, you're here. Not there." Naruto shifted, and Sasuke found himself compensating for the loss of warmth. "Letters take days between us, no matter how fast you reply. And this kind of stuff doesn't wait for me to be sure."
Sasuke frowned.
"No, moron. I'm here. The only reason you send letters instead of traveling is your schedule."
"You're always moving around, though."
"Name a point, in the last four years, where you haven't known where I was."
Naruto smiled and ducked his head, as if acknowledging the thought.
"Yeah...yeah. I guess. I wish I could like...schedule you in. Like I'm meeting with you." And Naruto laughed as if the thought was a joke, but Sasuke—
"Why don't you?"
Naruto blinked back at him.
"Huh?"
"What's stopping you?"
Naruto stared at him as if he'd never seen him before.
"Like—can I do that? Can I...I mean, I guess, like—you're a consultant? Advisor? Can I give you a title? Maybe once I'm actually inaugurated..."
"Advisor? My opinion has never stopped you before."
Naruto laughed and shoved at Sasuke's side.
"Jerk! I mean it. Like—could we—once a month? Can you do once a month?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"I'm not sure if you've noticed," he deadpanned, "but I operate on a rather flexible schedule."
That got a laugh out of Naruto, and a nudge of their shoulders together in time with it—
"Yeah, you do. Must be fuckin' nice."
Sasuke blinked—and then blinked again. It was an easy-going, light envy, but it was envy, and it had never occurred to Sasuke prior to that moment that Naruto might want to—
"I'm glad you're doing so good, though," Naruto said, his eyes turning back to the way their knees rested against each other's. "Traveling suits you."
It could suit you too.
The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he held them back. Naruto was within an arm's reach of his lifelong dream. Within a finger's touch, even. Tired, he might be, but Naruto was happy and this was what he wanted and just as Sasuke would not return to Konoha, he knew Naruto would not leave—
"Hey," Naruto nudged him, "don't tense up on me. Some of us like to have emotions from time to time, y'know."
Sasuke pinned him with a look. Naruto only grinned.
Their eyes stayed locked for about another thirty seconds before Sasuke shoved him to the ground.
It was another flimsy, pathetic attempt at a fight. Naruto's laugh built every time he tried to push Sasuke away and Sasuke just couldn't keep ahold of him as they rolled around in the grass—Naruto ended on top of him and Sasuke made little move to break free—
"Gotcha," Naruto said, pinning Sasuke's wrist to the ground.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Not for long," he pointed out. "Your village needs you."
Naruto sighed, and collapsed in place. Sasuke let out a long breath as Naruto groaned against his chest.
"They can wait."
"Words of the future Hokage," Sasuke said softly, his fingers hovering not an inch from Naruto's skin. It still felt wrong, sometimes, to have this warmth at his fingertips—
Naruto let out a laugh, as warm as his body against Sasuke's, and rolled off of him.
Sasuke watched him, unmoving from where he lay. Naruto's hand had let go of his wrist, but it had done little else. It left them lying side by side, facing each other, Naruto's hand in his—
"You should head back," Sasuke said. These moments were theirs, and they felt impossible. Something should ruin this. Surely, something would ruin this.
"Not yet," Naruto said.
Sasuke let out a breath and stifled a shiver. It still sent chills through him, every time Naruto's voice would soften enough that Sasuke could pick out the honest, raw affection that threaded through it—
Sasuke let their fingers intertwine.
"Not yet?"
Naruto rolled onto his side. No respect for personal space—just like when they were kids—
"They can wait."
Naruto left as the sun rose.
It took Naruto an hour longer than expected to make it to Sasuke. A Hokage was a busy ninja, and Naruto was no different (although he was different, in every way that Sasuke could count).
Tired, but happy, Naruto greeted Sasuke with a brilliant smile and bags under his eyes. They were something foreign on his face, though the smile was not (and Sasuke found himself kissing along them, some days, when they reminded him of all the tears Naruto had shed).
Sasuke led him back—another half an hour away—to a small village he had passed on the way. It didn't have much, but Naruto was warm enough for the both of them.
The sun had set long ago by the time Naruto's soft kisses pushed them to sleep, and it was as Sasuke's back hit the mattress that Naruto's hands paused in their path along Sasuke's skin—
"You're hurt."
Sasuke frowned down at himself.
"Not badly."
Naruto's took another moment to trace along Sasuke's stomach—the bandages were pulling away, now; he supposed the bruises did look—
"Take off your shirt," Naruto said, already off the bed. He dug for something in his bag, and Sasuke watched him for another moment before pulling the fabric over his head. (It had been what he planned to do next, anyway.)
"Roll over."
Sasuke blinked, and Naruto was there, beside him—with a jar of some sort in hand. Salve, most likely, and courtesy of Sakura if the handwriting along the label was anything to go by—
"Moron, I'm fine."
"You're fine," Naruto mocked, kicking at him. Sasuke retaliated by pulling the foot with him as he rolled—he took great pleasure in the way Naruto yelped and face-planted into the bed.
"Jerk." The word was muffled into the pillow. Sasuke let the chuckle rumble through him.
Naruto's face was lighter, as he sat up, and he eyed Sasuke with a glare that was more indulgent than worried—
"I don't see you for an entire month, and when I do, you're covered in bandages."
Naruto ran two fingers down Sasuke's spine. (It wasn't the cold that made him shudder.)
"I don't exactly stop at hospitals. The villages I visit have limited resources." He resisted the urge to twist. "Not everyone is filled to the brim with healing chakra, Naruto."
Naruto squeezed Sasuke's hip, just above the hem of his pants.
"Shut up—that's irrelevant. Be more careful."
"I am careful."
"Be more careful."
Sasuke snorted, but didn't reply. Naruto apparently took that as his cue to start slathering Sasuke's back with whatever Sakura had concocted this time. His shoulders had gotten it rather badly, and Naruto could obviously tell, from the way he—
"I've been thinking," Naruto started, after several more silent moments than usual.
"Sound the alarm," Sasuke muttered automatically. Naruto took a handful of salve and slapped it onto the middle of Sasuke's back.
"Ow," Sasuke told the pillow.
Naruto laughed—but it faltered after only a few seconds.
Sasuke's annoyance was quick to follow.
"What's wrong?" He turned just enough to look back at Naruto.
Naruto shook his head.
"Nothing's wrong. Turn back over." He pushed Sasuke down—gently, this time. Sasuke only obeyed because it would make Naruto talk faster.
It still took too long.
"I've been thinking," Naruto said again, hands moving along a particularly tender bruise. It twisted along Sasuke's side, crawling up his ribs, and Naruto's hand followed it to wrap around him, too. "I've been talking to Sakura, too—and she seems okay with it. Well, she—she thinks it's a good idea, actually. Everything is kind of ready, I think—"
"Moron," Sasuke interrupted, "you haven't told me what it is."
Naruto pulled back.
"Oh," he laughed, and one of his hands raised up, as if to run through his hair (it didn't, though, and some distant part of Sasuke was surprised Naruto had enough sense of mind to not slather the salve all over himself), "yeah. Um."
Naruto breathed in.
"I've been thinking about retiring."
Sasuke froze.
And then Naruto was moving off of him because Sasuke had to turn around, and sit up, and face Naruto fully and completely and—
"Konoha's in a good place," Naruto told him, eyes running along the folds of the sheets. "Everything I've wanted to do has either been implemented or begun, at least, and...I mean, the policies are there. All the groundwork is there. Everything's...settling, now. I feel like it's time."
Sasuke didn't dare to breathe in.
"I've asked Sakura to replace me. She knows everything—and she wants to do it. She said she'd be up for it as long as I keep in touch."
Sasuke's heart stuttered to a stop.
"I want to travel with you."
His heartbeat started again.
"I want to be there when you're hurt. I hate not being there. It's like I'm a kid again, just watching you get hurt in front of me—"
"I'm careful," Sasuke whispered, but Naruto shook his head.
"No. I want to be there. I want to be with you. I want to be there for you. I've wanted that for so long, Sasuke."
Sasuke swallowed.
"I've spent too long missing you. Please."
And Sasuke nearly jolted, right then, because it only occurred to him in that moment that Naruto was asking. Not dreaming about what could be, the way he would sometimes when they laid side by side and looked up at the stars—not telling Sasuke what was, when he was drenched knee-deep in Konoha's overhaul—
He was asking.
"How long?"
Naruto pulled back.
"How long what?"
"Until you...retire," until you're free, until you're with me— "how long?"
Naruto bit his lip and smiled.
"Um," he said, pulling Sasuke's heart closer to him every time his eyes flickered down and back up, "I was gonna put the paperwork in tomorrow. When I got back, I mean. It's all ready to go."
Tomorrow.
Sasuke pushed Naruto onto his back.
"And how long until it's processed?"
Naruto blinked up at him, eyes wide—
"Um," he swallowed, "It—shouldn't take longer than a month, I don't think—"
Sasuke let out a breath, and it tasted like relief.
"Finally."
It was a breath into a kiss and Sasuke had no time for whatever words Naruto would have spoken. His smile said enough, anyway, with the way it widened against Sasuke's lips—with the way it grew until it was laughter (as if Naruto, too, could feel the bursting happiness in Sasuke's chest)—with the way he stared up at Sasuke, glowing (as he always had), as Sasuke cupped his face in his hand—
Finally—
The future was theirs.
A/N: What did you all think? I've had this one hidden away for quite some time! We're allowed to release them now though :) I hope you liked it! Thank you all so much for all of your support!
Till next time,
- Kinomi
