32Rick Castle wasn't surprised. Not really. He knew this day would come. He wasn't feeling hurt, or inadequate, or betrayed, or...
"Dad. You're staring."
Alexis leaned over the table to catch his eye. Rick blinked.
"Um, yeah, sorry. Sorry. Of course. I mean, I knew you would. Someday. Are you - How are you eighteen already?"
His daughter grinned. "Time flies when you're having fun, Dad."
"Yeah, and drags when you're not," he muttered. "So what do you need from me, for this quest?"
"Nothing," Alexis replied. "I mean, nothing specific. I can make the request myself - it doesn't cost anything, and it doesn't require your consent, or Mom's."
She stopped, as if struck by a thought, but Rick was certain that it wasn't the first time the thought had occurred.
"She did her best," he said quietly. "And I got to keep you, after all. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Alexis. And I understand wanting to know the rest of the story."
Alexis smiled then. "I know, Dad. And you know I've thought about this a lot over the years. It's time."
"It is. And whatever happens, sweetheart - you know I'll be here. You're stuck with me," he added, only half-teasing.
He sat, thinking, remembering, long after Alexis kissed him goodbye and went to class.
"Sorry to dump this all on you," Alexis said to Lanie Parrish, who waved away her apology.
"Sweetie, you're sharing, not dumping," said Lanie. "And it's nothing to be ashamed of."
"I'm not ashamed," Alexis told her. "I'm - I don't know - excited? anxious? - worried about Dad. Worried about Mom."
Lanie handed her young friend a napkin to wipe her eyes. They were perched on a park bench, eating lunch from a food truck, on Alexis' last day as Lanie's intern.
"I don't know your mom," said Lanie, though she did know just how absent Meredith had been for most of Alexis' life. "Your dad's been a good father. No matter what Page Six says about him."
"I know. He told me last week that I was the best thing that ever happened to him."
Alexis sniffled a little. Lanie squeezed her hand.
"Honey, he's right. And this is a big deal, to you and to him, but you're both gonna be fine."
"So," Martha began, seating herself at the kitchen counter in the loft. "How are you doing, kiddo?"
"Fine, Mother," Rick replied absently as he went on reading something on his tablet. "And you?"
"I meant with Alexis' 'project'."
He looked up then and said, "Doesn't matter if I'm fine with it. It's her right, to know."
"That's uncharacteristically objective of you, Richard."
"I can be objective."
"Not where your daughter is concerned," Martha observed. "I can just see the wheels spinning in your head. What if this, what if that."
Rick straightened to his full height and tried to look unaffected.
"As a writer, I'm used to considering plot twists, alternate scenarios, unexpected developments," he said.
"And as a parent, you're used to imagining worst-case scenarios," Martha retorted. "Been there, done that, my boy."
"I can't help imagining," he sighed, dropping down to lean his elbows on the counter.
"Darling," his mother said. "It'll probably be anti-climactic. She'll get the information, it won't mean anything to her - or to you! - and the whole investigation will have been academic."
"For once, Mother, I hope you're right."
"New York is a mutual-consent state," said Jim Beckett to his daughter over coffee. "Have you thought about what you'll do if you get a request?"
"I signed the consent," said Kate. "I knew what I was doing. There are over a million people in Manhattan alone, anyway. They had a couple ready to take her - well off, healthy, established residence, no criminal background - "
"You're talking about the process," said her father gently. "Not the child."
"I have to believe she's been in good hands," Kate told him. "That she's loved, cared for, supported - everything I couldn't give her. If I consider any other scenario I'd go nuts, Dad. I have to take this one day at a time, and it's been eighteen years. Why would she come looking for me now?"
Jim nodded. He knew all about taking things one day at a time.
"Just remember, I'll be here for you, whatever happens, Katie. You're stuck with me."
Kate smiled and drank her coffee.
Alexis stared at the paper in front of her. No one else had seen it yet - her dad would never open her mail (though he'd been known to hide it), even though the return address on the envelope might have piqued his interest. She'd picked up the mail from Eduardo on her way up to the loft, and she was alone now. Alone with news that she wasn't at all sure what to do with.
She knew the circumstances that had made her part of the Castle family. She knew that she'd been adopted in infancy, adored, spoiled even, by parents who had been unable to have children themselves. Over years of wondering, she had finally come to the conclusion that, though Richard and Meredith Castle were her dad and mom where it counted, she needed to know 'the rest of the story'. Where had she come from? And from whom? She could face whatever surfaced, especially now that she'd been so loved and spoiled. Whatever surfaced - whatever turned out to be the truth.
But she'd never expected this.
Alexis picked up the phone and found a number on the speed dial.
"Hey," said Kate as Alexis let her into the loft. "What's up? Where's your dad?"
"He's doing a meet-and-greet at the Gotham Book Mart," said Alexis. "I wanted to talk to you alone, at first, anyway."
"Are you okay?" Kate was fond of "little Castle", both as a person and as her partner's family. They sat down on the couch and Kate asked, "Is something wrong?"
Alexis realized what had leaped to Kate's mind - what would leap to the mind of most adults - and she hastened to reassure.
"I'm not on drugs, or pregnant, or in an abusive relationship, or failing school, or anything bad," she said. "I just - I need to figure something out. And you're the best person to help me with this."
"Me?" Startled, Kate was at a loss to imagine what this smart, poised, resilient young lady would need her for specifically.
Alexis sat at the other end of the couch, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sweater, and took a deep breath.
"My dad doesn't know about this," she began. "I mean, he knows some of it. Most of it. But not about what I found out just today. And I don't think he's ever told anyone about his part in it."
"Alexis, if this is something your dad should be telling me - "
"I don't know," Alexis broke in desperately. "But - I think it's my story, more than his." She drew breath, tried to settle. "Did Dad ever tell you that I'm adopted?"
Kate blinked. "No. I thought Meredith - ?"
"She's my mom. And Dad is my dad. And when they adopted me, I was just a baby, so they're my family, and I'm their daughter."
Kate nodded. She understood that. She only hoped that such a blessed life had also been the destiny of -
"Wait," she said suddenly. "Wait a minute."
"Let me finish," said Alexis. "I've always known I was adopted. They couldn't have kids together, and they really believed adopting would complete them as a family." Her eyes filled with tears. "We were a family. Still are. But - it didn't work, eventually - for my mom - "
"I know," said Kate. Her mind was reeling with questions, but she could see that Alexis needed to tell her story her own way. "She left your dad, and he gained sole custody of you."
"And I love him, and we're a great family, just the two of us - and Gram, of course." Alexis smiled a little through her tears.
"But when you turn eighteen, you can make inquiries about your birth parents. So... have you been inquiring?" When Alexis just looked at her, apparently unsure how to go on, Kate reached over and took her hand. "Whatever you found out," she said quietly, in spite of her now-thundering heart, "you can tell me. Anything."
Alexis took another deep breath, let it out, and pulled a folded piece of paper out of her pocket.
"I just got this in today's mail," she said, handing it to Kate, then went back to fidgeting with her sweater.
Kate looked at the paper as though it might spontaneously combust. Then she collected her nerves, unfolded the paper, read it, re-read it, read it yet again, at which point her own tears made it nearly impossible for her to make out. When she looked up at Alexis, those tears spilled over, down her cheeks, into the smile she could not keep from spreading across her face.
"This is - good news, right?" she ventured.
Alexis nodded, then launched herself at Kate, who caught her in a hug.
"I'm so glad," said Kate. "So glad my baby found a good home."
"Me too," Alexis whispered.
"Honey, I'm home," Rick called out as he came through the door. There was no note on the kitchen counter, so he figured Alexis was in the house.
Sure enough, she came down the stairs moments later with her usual light-footed step, but with an expression that Rick had only ever seen on her face once. The day she had decided which college she would attend.
"You got a reply?" he asked immediately.
She laughed. "You know me too well."
"And yet most of the time, I feel it's not well enough," he said, giving her a hug. "So did you hear from the adoption registry?"
"I did," said Alexis. sitting at the counter.
"Good news? Bad news? Just plain news?" Rick asked. "If you're related to Patterson, I'm not sure I want to know."
"What about Stephen King?" She laughed at his reaction, then added quickly, "Kidding, Dad. Kidding. No father was listed on the record; the mother declined to state."
"Maybe they weren't together," Rick mused. "Maybe that's why she gave you up."
His daugher, who was used to her dad approaching everything as if it were a puzzle, just smiled at him and asked, "Sure you don't want to speculate on, say, mob connections, or WITSEC?"
"You're having way too much fun with this," he grumbled, but his eyes were bright. "Put me out of my suspense."
"Kate Beckett."
"You told Beckett?" Now he did look hurt. "Before you told me?"
"I thought it was only fair," said Alexis uncertainly.
"Okay." Rick struggled to remain calm amid his confusion. "Why?"
"She's - she's my mother."
Rick just stared at her. Stared and stared.
"Daddy? Are you okay?"
He seemd to shake himself out of his catatonic state. "Beckett - Kate Beckett - our Kate Beckett - is your mother?"
Alexis nodded. Once again she brought out the folded letter from her pocket and handed it to him. For a moment he just stared at it, as he'd stared at her, then he actually seemed to read through it.
"Katherine Houghton Beckett," he murmured. "That's her old address. The one that got blown up."
(Trust him to remember that, thought Alexis wryly.)
"Did you call your mom?" he asked, handing back the paper, and she knew who he meant.
"Not yet."
"Taking us one at a time? Good thinking," he said.
"You're each a handful, in your own way," said Alexis. Anticipating his next question, she added, "And no, I won't tell any of you what any of the others say."
Rick closed his mouth on that very question, figuring he'd get his chance to talk with Kate later.
"Are you okay with this?" he asked instead. "I mean, it's a fait accompli, but do you need time, distraction, discussion? We're not out of ice cream, are we?"
That very evening, as Kate had anticipated, there was a knock on her door. Checking the peephole, she smiled to herself, took a deep breath, and opened the door to a man who looked at once anxious and surprised.
"Hi, Castle," she said, pulling him in and shutting the door.
Rick stood there for a minute, hands in his pockets, gazing at her. Kate took a moment to relish the sight of Richard Castle speechless. Then she said, "So...Alexis, huh?"
"Right?" His expression morphed into a grin. "She is something else. She's amazing. Which is why I shouldn't be surprised that you're - her mother. Holy cats."
He went over and fell rather than sat on her sofa. "I mean, it's great, right?" he added. "You're okay with it?"
"Of course." Kate sat at the other end of the sofa. "I'm surprised - pleasantly - I'm overwhelmed - Grateful."
"Grateful?"
"To have confirmation that my choice was the right one." She looked down at her clasped hands. "That she found a good home. Better than she would have had with - just me."
Rick's hand came to lie on hers.
"Hey," he said quietly. "You would have done a great job, with whatever resources you had. You would have given her the very best home you could give her, and that'd be wonderful."
"I would've been happy to know she'd ended up with people who loved her and cared for her, regardless of their status or income or profession," said Kate.
They sat in silence for a moment. Then Rick asked, "Did she tell you about - why we adopted her?"
Kate nodded. "Just a sketch."
"I don't want to pry," Rick began, broke off at Kate's disbelieving snort, then went on, "Not about this. So you don't have to say. Because it's long past, and we're all satisfied with the result, right?"
"You want to know why," Kate said. "How I got pregnant."
"Oh, I know how that works."
Kate shot him a repressive glare. "Why I gave her up, all that."
She collected herself and went on.
"I had a - casual - boyfriend at Stanford. When my mom died, I knew I had to leave, come back to New York. For my dad, if nothing else. My boyfriend was determined to stay in California. He tried to talk me into staying, or coming back, but - well, he didn't try very hard, now that I look back on it. I wouldn't change my mind. We had to say goodbye."
"I'm guessing there was some parting-is-such-sweet-sorrow sex," said Rick, less flippantly. Kate nodded.
"I found out a couple months later I was pregnant. I got hold of - him - and he was bitter. Didn't care what happened to the baby, or to me. He was already moving on from that time, those memories." She sighed. "But I knew I wasn't ready to be anyone's mother. My dad and I were both a mess. And I didn't want to try to raise a child on my own, and not just as a memento, if you know what I mean."
Rick simply nodded.
"So I gave her away," said Kate sadly. "She was beautiful. I saw her once, before the papers were filed. Got to hold her. And then, put it all behind me. Not because I was ashamed." Her voice grew stronger. "Because I knew she was on her way to a good place. Not a grieving family, not an unprepared teenager."
"And she's been a blessing to me, ever since," said Rick softly. "You never tried to find her?"
"I felt that if she wanted to know, she could find me. And if not, then I could think about her once in a while, imagine her with her family and happy."
She took hold of Rick's hand and looked at him with teary eyes. "I could never have imagined she would turn out to be Alexis Castle."
"It's a plot twist I did not see coming," said Rick, shaking his head. After a moment, he asked hesitantly, "Does this - change anything?"
"If you mean between us," said Kate. "I don't know. I think Alexis wants to be friends with me, and I want to be friends with her. I think you and I have reached a good place in our - partnership. Beyond that..."
She fell silent, and typically, Rick filled in with a quip.
"Does this mean I get to call you 'baby mama'?"
