3I do not own Glee or any of its characters. I only own my OC characters. Everything else belongs to Ryan Murphy and FOX.
At the start of the year, I wasn't myself. Some would say I had changed since starting high school. Some would say I was pretending. In a way, maybe it was a combination of the two of them. Basically, I wasn't me. I was lost. But overtime, I managed to find myself. I was able to become a better version of myself by the end of the next few years. Of course, there was a lot that happened in between now and then; my name is Karly Anderson and this is my story.
The alarm with the sound of a Madonna song played loudly through the house and I groaned as I became awake, throwing a pillow over my head. It stopped briefly, giving me enough time to exhale and attempt to go back to sleep but then five minutes later, there it was again.
I hated it when he hit the snooze button.
I threw the sheets off and got out of bed, walking across the hall into my brother, Blaine's bedroom, where he was still in bed. I slammed my hand on the alarm and then turned it off.
"Did you ever think I was maybe listening to that song?" Blaine replied as I locked my eyes on him and glared.
"Did you ever think other people in this house were trying to sleep?" I quipped. I think Blaine replies on me coming into his room to turn the alarm off more than he does with the actual alarm. I feel like it's every day I have to come in here and turn it off after it going off about maybe three to five times after he snoozes it.
"Well sis, you have school too. You should be thanking me for waking you."
"I don't need to get up this early. I don't take long to get ready." I replied. "I don't spend hours doing my hair." I may have to straighten or curl it, but that takes maybe ten minutes. My brother spends what seems like forever in the bathroom trying to get his hair just right.
I go back to my room and sit on the edge of my bed. I can never go back to sleep after going into Blaine's room. The extra time that waking up so damn early gives me more than enough time to do my hair and makeup. I take my time and even then it doesn't take me very long. After finishing that, I go into my closet and put on my school uniform. It's a white blouse with a plaid skirt. I also have a black cardigan to wear with it in case it's a bit cold. I don't need it today as it is September.
I go downstairs and while mom is cooking breakfast, I pour myself a cup of coffee.
"Morning Karly," My mom greets.
"Morning." I replied as I added some milk to my coffee and took a sip.
"Can I get you anything else to go with your coffee?" My mom asks as she flips the bacon she is cooking on the stove.
"I'm good, thanks."
"Karly, you really should eat something."
"Macy and I will probably grab something." I told her so she'd drop it.
I didn't really need breakfast. Plus, I needed to slim down. According to Connie, I had drop a few. She said I must have gained at least a few pounds over the summer. I know it probably is obvious when I put my cheer uniform on and they couldn't have that. And thinking about it, I'm sure it couldn't hurt to cut out some calories.
My mom went back to her cooking as my brother finally came downstairs, all dressed in his uniform.
"Morning mom." Blaine says.
"You should really cool it with the hair gel. Some of us need the bathroom too." I stated.
"And now they have it." Blaine replied. "C'mon, it didn't take me that long."
"If you have to get up an hour earlier than everyone else to fix your hair, then yes it does." I said and then finished my coffee.
"Oh Blaine, I'm working late tomorrow so you'll need to pick Karly up from practice at 8." Mom looked between us.
"I was going out with Kurt tonight." Blaine sighed.
"Blaine..."
"It's fine, Connie will probably give me lift home." I stated. "Don't worry, I know how difficult it is for you to lose an hour of time with your boyfriend." I smirked as I put my empty mug in the sink and then grabbed the keys of the plate on the counter.
"No, I need the car. I have Warbler practice auditions tonight." Blaine tried to take the keys from me.
"Well I have cheerleading and youth group. So I need the car." I replied.
"Can't one your friends take you?"
"Can't your boyfriend take you home?" I asked.
"I should ask you the same question."
I shoved him.
"Stop it, you two." Mom got in the middle. "I swear all you two do is bicker all the time now." She then turned to Blaine first.
"Blaine, you know your sister usually needs the car on Mondays."
I smirked at him.
"…and Karly, since you have the car, you can pick him up on your way home."
"What?!" I groaned.
"If he doesn't have a ride, it's the least you can do since you have the car." Mom looked at me seriously. It looked like there was no debate.
I glare at my brother as I pick up my backpack, "You better get a fucking ride."
"KAROLINA!" My mom scolded and I rolled my eyes. What was saying my full first name going to do? Scare me? It didn't.
I left the house and got into the car. I then went to pick up Macy.
Macy is my best friend at Crawford. She's been my best friend practically since middle school. She has medium length hair—it is dirty blonde with some bleach blonde highlights—and she's a little shorter than me. Macy isn't a part of the popular crowd at school like I am, but I didn't let that get in the way of our friendship. Though she would have no problem getting into the in-crowd if she just joined the cheer squad. Macy is a great dancer and she would easily make it. I'll never understand why she refuses.
I honk once I get outside her house. She comes out a moment later.
"Want a bagel?" Macy says as she gets in and holds a chocolate chip bagel towards me. I almost gave in as I could smell that it was freshly toasted.
"I'm dieting."
"Your loss." Macy said and then ate it.
"Did you eat two?"
"If you're not going to, I'm not going to waste it." Macy took a bite. It was almost cruel, but I tried not to think about it. "So did you finish the math and history assignments last night?"
"I was up until 3AM." I nodded. But that was actually sooner than when I usually finish them. By the time I get home, which is late, it takes me hours to get through all the work they give us. Sometimes I often don't finish until 4 or 5 in the morning. It's just a lot harder for me and none of my teachers seem to want to work with me. It's whatever. As long as it gets done and I get the points.
"It actually wasn't too difficult, compared to the last ones."
"Hopefully, I can say the same when I get the next round." I say as I then started to drive to school.
When we get there, Macy and I go to our separate classes. Then, I'm instantly met up by Connie. She has long, red hair and is about six inches taller than me. She is my co-captain. I became her apparent best friend once I was made co-captain of cheer my first year.
"How's the diet going?" Connie asked, eyeing me.
"It's going. I cut out breakfast—"
"You should really come get lunch with me. I'll show you what you should eat. That way you'll never have to worry about getting fat again."
I didn't realize gaining two pounds over summer break constituted as being fat.
"But actually, we don't have time for food today as we have cheer auditions. Just wait till you see all the pathetic losers trying out this year."
I forced a smile until she walked away. I felt my stomach growl. That's the result of cutting out breakfast the last week and skipping dinner last night because of homework. But I guess it could wait. Food will be there later. I can eat at youth group tonight.
This was my life. I went to a private-school. It used to be all girls, but in recent years they've started letting boys in, but only by relation; so it has mostly girls. The work was ten times harder than any other school and if you struggle, well god help you. You learn to adapt and survive. My priorities became all about my reputation as soon as I became friends with Connie and became a cheerleader. Though, this is what is supposed to be; at the time that's what I believed. I always knew I would eventually go to this school and be a cheerleader because that's what my mom was—my biological mom.
I was adopted when I was twelve by the Andersons. It was a long story which I will get into later. My biological parents, Jerry and Felicity, died in a car accident when I was ten. My sister, Angie and I survived the wreck. My sister, well she practically disappeared after that. I hadn't seen her since then. I went into the system and 2 years later I was adopted. I remember many things about both my parents. One was that my mother always talked about wanting me to go to the best private school and be a cheerleader like she was.
"I'm doing exactly what you would have wanted."
The classes are hard, the work is hard, and the teachers—at least most of them—are hard-asses. Some days I can't even make it through a lecture. And they'll scold me saying this is why I don't do too well on tests. Though, that likely could be a factor, but mainly it's the work and how the supposed teachers teach the material. I am definitely not lazy and I'm not stupid, at least I don't think I am. But I've always struggled when it came to school. Not sure why. I mean, my biological mother graduated at the top of her class from a school like Crawford. She was smart, to say the least. And I could say the same about my biological father. My sister—though she didn't apply herself—she was very smart. I don't know what happened to me in that department.
I am a junior now. I just had to get through two more years at least.
"Miss Anderson," One of the teachers tried to get my attention. "Head out of the clouds and back down here. Now would you care to read the next paragraph?" Not only was this embarrassing for the instructor to say that in front of the entire class but ask me to read too? I'd rather them suspend me or something along those lines.
"I need to use the bathroom." And most times this works to my advantage, depending on the instructor. Except for this class.
"After you read." He was well aware of my tricks.
"Mr. Smith, you really should let her go. What if she needs to put on a tampon?"
The class laughs.
I sigh. That was my boyfriend Nick's attempt at trying to help, but honestly, that wasn't the kind of help I wanted.
"Go." The teacher let me go. I wasn't sure if it was because he thought about what was said or that he just felt bad for what was said in front of everyone. Either way, I didn't care. I just needed to get out of there. Sometimes Nick can be the biggest idiot.
I didn't go back to class after that.
At lunch I was sitting with Macy. I just wanted to eat and not think about earlier. I just needed some time to unwind. But then Connie sat down.
"Where's Nick?"
"I don't know. Don't care right now." I replied.
Then Macy got intrigued; "What happened? Did you guys break up?"
"No way you broke up with the hottest guy at Crawford!" Connie chimed in.
"No, I'm just annoyed with him." I then explained what had happened.
"Get over it, Karly." Connie said. "I mean sure, boys are idiots, but you'll be a bigger one if you let the most popular guy in school go over one little thing."
I didn't reply. I just wanted to eat.
"Karly, are you really eating that? I thought you were dieting?" Connie then stated, changing the subject. I didn't like this new one already.
"I'm hungry. I have to eat something." I stated. It was a grilled chicken salad.
"Well that dressing for one has so many calories. Not to mention—" Connie went on for what felt like twenty minutes. She then threw a bag of crackers at me. "Eat these. Sesame sunflower seed crackers. I swear by them. Plus they are vegan and gluten free."
I looked at Macy and both us had to resist to roll our eyes.
"I'm allergic to sesame, Connie. I've told you this the first ten times you tried to give me these."
"Is it a severe allergy?"
"I'll end up in the ER."
"You know my cousin was allergic to watermelon but kept eating it anyways. Now she has no problems."
"Yes, but your cousin just got a rash and a slightly itchy throat. My throat will close if I eat these."
"I'm just looking out for you and the team." Connie then said.
"Sure you are." Macy mumbled.
"Excuse me?" Connie looked angry.
"You are really just concerned that she won't lose half a pound. As if anyone could notice that. Why don't we talk about the five pounds you've gained since freshman year?" Macy replied and I was shocked at that. Usually Macy made sure to bite her tongue around Connie.
Connie then stood up and poured her pink smoothie all over Macy.
"At least I'm not a fat loser like you." Connie walked away.
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." I offered but Macy pushed me away.
"I'm fine, Karly."
"Macy—"
"I just can't believe you'll just let her be a bitch like that. I still can't believe you're friends with her and you'll defend it."
"She has some good moments—"
"Karly, wake up, she's the stereotypical bitch you see on all the movies." Macy said. "Look, I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine."
"You're not. You're becoming more and more like the stereotypical cheerleader type and I don't like it. You're not to Connie's level but you're starting to drift that way."
"You're crazy." I denied. "Macy, what's going on all suddenly?"
"Karly, you're my best friend and I swear, more and more every day, I feel like I'm losing my best friend more and more. Where is the girl that used to eat Cheetos and sing karaoke at the top of your lungs with me?"
"Macy, I—I mean, we're a little old for that aren't we?" I saw everyone looking at us. Though I didn't really mean that. Right then and there, I would have given anything for a bag of Cheetos.
"I remember my best friend before all this, would have said the minute I saw something like that is when you know I must be talking to an imposter." Macy said and stood up. "I don't really like who you are either becoming or are pretending to be."
Macy left and I couldn't go after her. I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know how to process that.
I went to cheerleading practice and my youth group, but I couldn't really focus. All I could think about was what Macy had said and how it had come out of nowhere. This morning we're talking about normal stuff and then suddenly says I'm being fake? What the hell? I haven't changed? Have I?
After coming out of youth group, I see Nick. He picks me up by my waist and kisses me.
"Nick, what are you doing here?" I asked.
"I missed you." He said and I smiled. That was sweet. "Look, there is a party tonight. Do you want to go?"
"I don't know, I should go home and study—"
"Come on, Kay, it'll be really fun." Nick tried to persuade me.
"Okay, we only for a little bit."
Nick said it was just a small party. But there were at least 100 people there. There was alcohol everywhere and the music was loud enough to cause deafness. Almost as soon as we got there, Nick went off with a buddy and I was left there. Of course then some girls from school came over and then pulled me into dancing and doing tequila shots.
"You need to let loose." A girl said as we took a third round of shots.
"Hey babe," Nick came back over and I planted my lips on him and then put my tongue in his mouth.
"Damn, we need to go to parties more often." Nick said and then started making out with me. Normally, I wouldn't be into it really. For multiple reasons. But then, I was really drunk.
From drinking, dancing, and kissing. I didn't remember much of anything else from that night when I woke up. I woke up with my head spinning, a splitting migraine. Actually, my entire body ached. I was sore from head to toe, practically. How wild did it get? What the hell did I even do? I sat up and noticed my shirt was completely unbuttoned showing off my bra. I also had glitter all over me. I then grabbed my phone which was nearly drained.
3:47. Holy shit!
I had multiple calls and text messages. Most from my mom and Blaine. One from Macy.
Shit, I was supposed to pick up Blaine. I was supposed to study. I was supposed to be home many hours ago. I was still out of it from the drinking, but I knew I was going to be in deep shit trouble when I got home.
I didn't drive. I walked home which took me some time. I didn't have a choice. I was way too drunk to drive, but I was aware enough to know I couldn't. I would have called Blaine, but I had the car. Luckily it wasn't too far from where I lived and I knew the area.
I saw the lights were off from outside. Maybe they went to sleep. I went inside, trying to be as quiet as possible. The lights were turned on the moment I shut the door as silently as I could.
I sighed. I was caught.
I turned slowly to see my mom and Blaine. They didn't seem pleased.
"Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea what time it is or how worried we have been?" Mom exclaimed.
"I would have been home an hour ago. It was a long walk." I chuckled nervously.
"Do you really think this is the time for jokes, young lady?"
"Just trying to lighten the mood." I shrugged; it clearly wasn't working.
"You're clearly drunk." Blaine said.
"Like you've never gotten drunk." I rolled my eyes.
"Is that all you have to say for yourself?" Blaine replied.
"Karolina, this is unacceptable. What has gotten into you lately?" My mother shook her head.
"Nothing, I'm fine."
"Mom, she's drunk. Right now might not be the best time—"
"I just lost track of time, I was only supposed to stay for an hour…Nick was insistent…" I was cut off by the sudden nausea. I ran over to the sink and started vomiting.
It took me a while. It probably wasn't that long but I felt like I was vomiting forever. Then eventually there was nothing left. My mom forced me to drink water and some other stuff that tasted horrible. I felt as out of it as I did when I first woke up. I could barely stand or keep my eyes open. Blaine supported me as we went up the stairs.
"We'll finish this later." Was the last thing I remember mom saying before I passed out.
I woke up the next morning with my head feeling like someone was hammering in nails. I felt like I had been hit by a truck, I was sore everywhere, and I meant everywhere. I squinted, looking at the clock. It was close to afternoon. I guess I wasn't going to school today. Though most people would be thrilled and a part of me was because of the current hangover but I felt more stressed with the idea of missing a day. It's already a struggle to keep up because I'm too retarded to understand the material as easily as everyone else but missing an entire day of class is practically suicide in my case. This means I won't be sleeping for the next few days after I get my work from my teachers. I could cry at the thought of it all. Maybe I'm still a little drunk. Stupid, don't be ridiculous!
"You finally woke up." Blaine stated as he then threw a small trash basket my way.
"What is that for? And where is mom?" I asked.
"That's for if you start vomiting again, you did three times last night." Blaine explained. Well, I hope at this point I won't do that again, I may be hungover, but I don't feel nauseous, at least at the moment. "And mom's at work."
"Oh, ok." I said awkwardly. I vaguely remember coming in last night. I do remember that it was bad on my part.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Before I could even try to come up with a reply, Blaine started in again. "What the hell were you thinking? Getting drunk, stumbling in at almost 4 in the morning?!"
"I didn't exactly plan it." I shrugged. It wasn't even my idea to really go to the party. "Nick promised we wouldn't be there long—"
"You could have said 'no'"
He had me there.
"And not just last night, it's everything lately with you. Your attitude and everything." Blaine continued.
"What do you mean?"
"Listen, I was talking to mom and I'm going to transfer to McKinley." Blaine then suddenly changed the subject.
"So you can be with Kurt every minute of the day."
"Dalton isn't the place for me anymore. I've decided I want to be with Kurt, yes, but also I think McKinley might be good fit for me now."
"Good for you." I said, not sure what this had to do with anything.
"I think you should transfer too."
"Why?"
"Karly—"
"No, I can't, I mean, this is my Junior year, the most important year and it's enough I already missed today. And not just the work, I have cheerleading and Nick—"
"Karly, this isn't you."
"What are you talking about?" I scoffed. Of course it was me. I didn't understand.
"You hate cheerleading. At least you always used to, I remember you always talking about how stuck up and bitchy they are. And as for your boyfriend, lets be honest, you could do a lot better. And you know you don't even like him. You're just dating him because everyone talks about how you should." Blaine stated.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't I?" Blaine sat next to me. He then threw pictures at me, pictures that I had hidden away. "Karly, you love sports—football, soccer, basketball. You love hiking and getting outside. You love music. You hate shopping, makeup, and cheerleading. And you certainly don't love Nick and how he treats you."
I knew he was right, but I couldn't admit it. Not even to myself at the moment.
"People change."
"No, you're lying to yourself and I know why."
"And why is that?"
"You're scared. You're afraid of what people will think of the real you. You're afraid of being abandoned, alone. So you became this person that you think everyone wants to see. You became a cheerleader, you take all morning to make yourself up, you're dating a guy that everyone else except you likes because he is a jock…should I go on? You are being the person, your mother was trying to force you to be."
It hit a nerve when he mentioned my mother.
"I love my mother."
"In a way, but not in the way you are trying to make yourself believe."
Blaine put a picture in front of me. It was a picture of me, all in makeup, a dress, with my hair done up in perfect curls like Shirley Temple. I was nine years old at the time. In the picture I smiled, but it was not genuine. Anyone who looked closely could tell. At that age, she had forced me into beauty pageants.
"You hated them. I remember you always talking about how your mother forced you and berated you when it came this. You had to look perfect. Tons of voice and dance lessons. And you could never please her."
I remember.
I was nine years old.
It was another pageant. It was time for the talent portion. My mother had chosen yet another classical Italian song for me to sing. I hated them. For once I wished I could sing a song I wanted to sing.
My mother was forcing me into another dress. It was bright pink, which made hate it more. It felt tight. She then had me sit on the makeup chair as she started putting all the makeup on me. I hated this. I didn't see the point of putting makeup on. Apparently it would make me look prettier, but I didn't see how.
"Mom, the dress is too tight." I said as I squirmed around, trying to get comfortable.
"You'll need to slim down, your father must have been feeding you garbage again."
"You could just get her a bigger dress. I mean she wore that when she was eight. She will get bigger as she gets older." My older sister quipped.
"Angelica, I don't have time for it!" My mother snapped.
"Just saying."
My mother made her leave the room and then turned her attention back to me as she continued with the makeup when she came back.
"Did you memorize the song? It has to be perfect."
I nodded, "I want to sing the song from Mulan."
"You're going to sing the song we practiced for a week. It's a classic, no one else is going to sing it." My mother insisted.
"No one else is gonna understand it. All the other girls are—"
"You're not other girls and you are going to do what I say."
"I don't want—" She slapped me for the back talk and then grabbed me hard by my jaw. It hurt.
"You are going to sing that song. You are going be perfect and now you're going to be quiet while I finish your makeup or you'll be in for it when you get home." My mother warned before letting go. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't do that in front of her. She didn't tolerate whining or crying. She finished my makeup and then put lipstick on. She then plucked a few hairs from my eyebrows, it hurt.
"Stop whining. I need to fix them."
"Felicity, I think she is fine. She is perfect." My dad peered in and winked at me.
"Jerry, hold on, I'm almost done with her." She then stood up a few minutes later. "I have to go find the judge, stay here."
My parents left me alone. I looked at myself in the mirror. I don't see how I look beautiful. I look weird. But of course for my mother, it is never good enough. She says I have to be perfect, but what is that? Will I ever be good enough?
I started to cry.
"Better not let mom catch you. Your makeup's running a bit." Angie says. I sniffled and looked and saw she was right. Now I will really be in for it.
Angie sat in front of me and started to fix it.
"I know, this all sucks."
"I hate this. All of it." I said.
"I promise you, when I turn eighteen, we'll run away from them. I'll take you with me. We'll move to California and have a good life. Just like I've always promised" Angie promised. I nodded. At the time she was 16, almost 17. Only a little over a year to go. I just hoped it would come soon, I wasn't sure how much longer I could take all this. I wanted to play sports and go to real school like everyone else. I loved to sing, but I hated singing these classical songs all the time and having mom tell me that I am doing it wrong.
"I'll miss dad."
"Me too, but do you want to be doing this stuff forever?"
"I hate this. I hate these Italian songs. I hate this makeup." I said.
"One day soon we'll get away." Angie promised. "But as for today, if you could sing any song, what would you sing?"
"I want to sing the song from Mulan." I told her. Angie and I had watched the movie together countless times. I love the music from it.
"Let's make it happen."
I went on the stage and somehow Angie had changed the music they had for me. Switching out the classic Italian song for the Mulan song. Once my mother had realized, it had been too late. And I got to sing what I really want; that was first time in a while I felt myself when I sang. I remembered how much I love to sing.
"Karolina Forrester."
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free
To fly…
"You hated all of that." Blaine stated.
"I didn't completely hate the singing." I stated. I hated the berating. I hated the songs she chose, mainly because I was a nine year old who didn't speak Italian. I had no clue what I was singing. It was difficult to learn. And no matter what I did or how hard I worked to please her, it was never good enough for her.
"Listen to my point. All of this, isn't you. You need to stop lying to everyone. You need to stop lying to yourself." Blaine said. "I know my sister, since the day I met you and then when they adopted you, I know what kind of person you are and this, I don't know who this is but this isn't my sister."
I looked in the mirror when Blaine left. I hated looking at myself. Honestly, since high school started, I've always hated looking in the mirror. I hate how I look. Maybe it's because I hate who I've become—or who I am pretending to be.
Just like I did back then.
The next day, I was sitting with Connie and the others, picking at my lunch. I didn't feel hungry and not because of Connie's comments about how I need to slim down to make sure my uniform fits right. What Blaine—and Macy—said really hit me. I couldn't stop thinking about it all and as I listened to Connie and the other girls talk made me remember more and more why I had hated cheerleaders.
"Karly, why are you so quiet?"
"Just tired."
"Well you better wake up. We have practice today and coach will have all of our asses if you're not pulling your weight." Connie remarked. She backed up, bumping into another student, getting her lunch all over her.
Connie didn't attempt to stop herself from laughing, "Oops, sorry," She sounded very insincere. "Maybe watch where you are going next time."
I then got on the floor and started putting some trash on her tray. I knew the girl from some of my classes. We didn't talk much. I think she mainly tried to avoid anyone associated with the cheerleaders; I do not blame her.
"Karly, what are you doing?" Connie asked. The girl also seemed confused on why I helping her.
"C'mon Connie, you could at least help clean up." I said.
"Why? She bumped into me." Connie said. "C'mon, leave the loser."
I helped her up and then lead her to the bathroom where I helped her get cleaned up. It also was an excuse to get away from Connie right now, which I really needed.
"Thanks Karly." The girl said.
"Anytime…" I said, trying to remember her name.
"Kyra." She told me.
"Right." I nodded.
"You know, I always taught you were nicer than them. I don't know why you hang out with them. You don't really seem to like them." Kyra stated as I finished helping her.
That struck a chord.
Now thinking about it, with everything Blaine, Macy, and everyone has said lately, I honestly I have no idea. This isn't me.
I skipped practice and went straight home. Shortly after I heard my phone go off multiple times. Probably all of which from Connie and the coach asking where the hell I am. I don't even look at them because that isn't my concern. It's not even going to matter after tomorrow anyways. My mom was home and I talked to her for a bit. She was still upset with me and I knew she had every right to be.
"I'm really worried about you." She said.
"I know. I am too." I replied.
We talked for a bit and though I was still in trouble for the drinking, we came to an understanding after I apologized like ten times. Later that day, I took out my dog for a walk and walked in the direction of where Macy lived. Technically right now for the next few days, I can't go anywhere besides school. But if I walked Louie, this was a loophole so I could talk to Macy. Luckily, she lived close. I had to talk to her.
Once I got there, I knocked and she answered.
"Can I come in, please?"
"You know I can't turn you down when you bring that dog." Macy said. I kind of had feeling he would be my main ticket in; she has a soft spot for Louie.
"Come here, Louie." Macy said and he ran right to her and she scooped him up in her arms. My tiny dog loves that stuff. We then went upstairs to her bedroom and she shut the door.
"I'm sorry," I told her. "You were right."
"About?"
"Everything—me." I said as I sat on the edge of her bed. "I guess it's some early midlife crisis."
Macy laughed at that.
"Teenage life crisis?"
"I guess so." I chuckled. "For some reason, I decided to be—or pretend to be—the person my biological mom would have wanted me to be. I was trying to convince myself that I wanted to be like her because I miss her, but I was lying to myself. Honestly, if she was alive, I'd be probably even more miserable than I am pretending to be this person. Blaine made me remember how miserable I was growing up because of her. I trying to convince myself I am this stereotypical girl who loves shopping and cheerleading."
"I mean there is nothing wrong with shopping." Macy stated.
"Trying it with Connie." I laughed.
"Oh, I'd rather be dead." We both laughed.
"I actually forgot how much I love sports and—singing. I miss music." I said.
"I guess you just were trying to survive that school. I get it. It sucks." Macy nodded. I hope this means she forgives me. "I heard about what happened between Connie and Kyra. Now that sounds like something my real best friend would have done."
"Is that your way of saying you forgive me?" I asked, smiling.
"Well I guess I should or else I'll probably never see this dog again." She said, slightly joking and I threw a pillow in her face.
"There is something else." I stated. "I'm leaving—I'm transferring to McKinley."
"What?" Macy seemed very surprised.
"Blaine is transferring to be with Kurt and he said I could too. It's for the best. And I mean, it'd be nice to be around some family and I think if I'm going to find myself again, I need to get out of this hell hole." I explained as best I could.
"I'll survive. And besides, we have after school anyways." Macy smirked.
"Maybe you should join my youth group." I suggested. I had been trying for a while to convince her to join.
"Are you trying to convert me?" Macy asked, joking.
"It could be fun." I shrugged.
"Sorry, still not my thing. I don't trust most people in those groups, no offense." Macy said.
"It's fine."
"Don't they have a glee club at McKinley?" Macy changed the subject.
"They do." I smiled. "And that might have also influenced my decision."
"I haven't heard you sing in a long time. You better invite me to all the concerts or whatever." Macy said and I nodded; that I could do.
"Now I just need to decide what to tell Nick and Connie."
"Good luck with that." Macy said.
I told my Blaine and mom my decision and they told me not to even bother going to school Friday. It wouldn't matter. That day I stayed home and slept in, which felt nice. I can't remember the last time I felt like I have slept. When I got up, I saw my phone again riddled with texts from Connie and Nick; I decided I needed to stop avoiding it.
[Connie: Where the hell are you today? Are you drunk again? Coach is going to have your ass so I hope for your sake you're dead! Also, we need to talk about what happened, were you high? What the hell was that?!]
It took me a minute to think of a response that didn't light any fire.
[I am fine, it's been a weird few days that have given me time to think. I am transferring out to McKinley High.]
I am sure she won't respond for a bit. On the bright side, she will be the only captain of the squad.
[Nick: KARLY! Stop ignoring me. C'mon, text me and we can have some fun tonight at my friend Dave's place. You're more fun when you're drunk.]
It didn't take long to think of a response.
[I am transferring to a new school and I think it would be best if we break up.]
He responded quickly.
[Can you give Connie my number?]
I rolled my eyes and didn't even respond to that.
Friday afternoon, after my mom got home from work, the two of us and Blaine went over to McKinley so we could get enrolled to start by Monday. We were in the office, filling out papers. The enrollment was easy, especially with our grades. They gave us a tour and Blaine left half way through when he saw Kurt at his locker waiting for him. It was adorable.
I was assigned a locker. I had some pictures I could put up in them. Mostly ones of me and Macy. Maybe the one of my sister and father.
I then saw someone in the choir room. I decided to go in for a moment.
"Hi." I said.
"Hi, I'm Will Schuester. Are you new?"
"Yes, I start Monday. I'm Karly Anderson." I told him. "Blaine's my brother." I added, knowing they all probably knew who he is.
"Ah, are you interested in the glee club? Or were you wanting to talk to me about History class—I also teach history."
"I am interested in glee club."
"Well, if you have time, I'd like to audition you."
I nodded.
I flipped through a song book for broadway musical songs and picked one I really liked. It was perfect for right at this moment with how I am feeling.
Why should I play this game of pretend?
Remembering through a secondhand sorrow?
Such a great girl and wonderful friend
Oh, don't the tears just pour?
I could curl up and hide in my room
There in my bed still sobbing tomorrow
I could give in to all of the gloom
But tell me, tell me what for?
Why should I have a heavy heart?
Why should I start to break in pieces?
Why should I go and fall apart for you?
Why should I play the grieving girl and lie
Saying that I miss you
And that my world has gone dark without your light?
I will sing no requiem tonight
I gave you the world, you threw it away
Leaving these broken pieces behind you
Everything wasted, nothing to say
So I will sing no requiem
So don't tell me that I didn't have it right
Don't tell me that it wasn't black and white
After all you put me through
Don't say it wasn't true
That you were not the monster that I knew
Cause I cannot play the grieving girl and lie
Saying that I miss you
And that my world has gone dark without your light
I will sing no requiem
I will sing no requiem
I will sing no requiem tonight
I know I didn't have to sing the whole song for an audition but I wanted to. I had to. I just couldn't stop. It felt so good. I haven't felt this good about anything in a long time. It felt truly like me.
I could tell he seemed impressed.
"Welcome to the glee club, Karly."
And that is where it all began.
A/N: I've been trying to finish and get this up for the last few weeks. But life is crazy. Hello there! It's been a long while. But here is my new story. I was originally thinking of updating the Taking Chances/Who I Am saga, but as I looked over the story and everything, i had some issues with how i wrote it. So I decided to start new and I came up with Karly Anderson and her story.
I have a pinterest account. Same name as here. I have a collection for this story with sections for all characters, mainly of which have not and will appear throughout this entire story. And I will say there are many ;)
Karly is portrayed by Jackie Evancho. Macy is portrayed by Joey King, Connie is portrayed by Sophie Turner, and Karly's biological parents Felicity and Jerry are portrayed by Lady Gaga and Ryan Goesling.
Songs: Reflection (Jackie Evancho) & Requiem (Jackie Evancho)
Please don't forget to drop a review. They would make me very happy :)
