109Hi there! It's Regina here, and I'm back with my longest fanfiction ever! This is an idea I had in mind for some time, and I finally decided to write it. I wanted to explore their relationship back in season 6, so remember these are old Sheldon and Amy. Maybe it's a little OOC? But I had so much fun!
Search me in my social networks as rgbcn to see fanart related to the story. I'll be posting it soon, starting with the sketch I did for the cover. More drawings coming soon!
Huge thanks to Mike, my beta, for helping me so much with my grammar mistakes. It's possible that I forgot to correct something or I added more typos after his review, remember english is not my native language. Also thanks to my friends and patrons, I have been teasing them with sketches for this fic for some weeks already. Sorry lol!
Ok, I will leave you read…
This story is set on S6E23 "The Love Spell Potential", where they play D&D. And this is my take of what happens in Sheldon's room and after that. This story doesn't follow canon with what we know happens in that episode.
Enjoy it!
That... was intense, Amy thought to herself.
She looked at Sheldon in front of her. He was looking at her intensely, eyes wide open. His forehead slightly sweaty, and with a blush all over his cheeks. He was still panting, trying to catch his breath, like he just ran a marathon.
Amy blinked twice, her mind was still processing what had just happened. Her heart was still racing and her heartbeat throbbing in her ears. It all happened...fast and she hadn't been really sure about what she was doing then. Until they were done.
But what had they done? She tried to recall the events that lead them to…this.
They were playing that silly game he loves, Dungeons and Dragons. It all happened in a fictional world, where they, or more precisely, their fictional characters, were under the effect of a love spell. Following that logic (of that fictional universe, because spells didn't exist in the real one) what happened was:
They just had sex...without having sex?
Fictional intercourse Amy repeated in her mind. What they just shared was fictional, only imaginary, a made-up pretense. They were just words, just ideas, just...a thought of an action. No touch, no contact, no taste. Nothing.
Then, why did it feel so…real?
Amy was a mess of feelings and emotions. Thoughts of what they had just experienced clouded her mind, making her feel like it was all a dream, all a fantasy. But it wasn't, they were still there. She looked down at the bed they were still sitting on. Sheldon was grasping the die tightly in his hand. Maybe a little too tightly. The muscles and tendons were noticeable in his hand. He clutched the die like his life depended on it. They just used it to play their…fictional intercourse. Was that part of the game? Part of her felt like the game was forgotten long ago. She looked back at him, his eyes still on hers.
Sheldon couldn't form a coherent thought. His mind was spinning too much, and his body was feeling too much. The urge to run was overwhelming, but he couldn't move. Rooted to his bed, his muscles didn't respond. It was just logical, what they did, right? It was the logical thing to do. It was part of the game, they were under a love spell. Well, their characters were. So, they just did what a love spell would make them do. Or just pretend to do it. They just said it out loud, right? Just said it, just words, no actions. If actions were done…Oh boy, don't go there now. He closed his eyes, trying to compose himself. It was the only movement he could do at that moment. The rest of his body was paralyzed. With fear? No, it wasn't fear. Shame? Maybe. He felt he took things a step too far, too far to control himself. Maybe his body was prepared for a step like this, but his mind? That was another thing. Until now he'd been able to control his urges, take care of them in a private environment. Not involving more feelings that necessary, and more important, not making him feeling like a fool in front of anyone, specially Amy.
Yet he did, he'd stepped forward. Stupid love spell. He said…things…out loud. More important, he felt them, imagined them. In front of her! Dear Lord! He breathed in sharply and opened his eyes again. Amy was still sitting in front of him, her eyes looking into his, searching for something he didn't understand. Or at least something he didn't want to accept. He needed to scream, to run, to be alone right now. There was too much to process. Amy on his bed right now was the last thing he needed to calm himself.
Finally finding strength, Sheldon tried to say something, but he didn't know what to say. He was sure whatever he came up with, Amy would be upset. It was always like this. When he didn't know how to react to a situation, he would say something stupid and she would be upset. Yes, even he knew that: he sometimes said stupid things. But only when things were related to feelings and stupid emotions. Stupid emotions made him say stupid things. That was it.
Looking down to his hand, where he was still clutching the die. He finally released it on the bed and looked at Amy. Her eyes locked on him, as she expected him to say something soon.
"Uhm." Is all he could say. But what can I say next?
"Yes?"
"I…You…" Sheldon's mind was racing. He felt overwhelmed. "You...need to leave." Sorry Amy. He averted his eyes from hers and looked down where the die was resting on the bed.
Amy stayed silent for what he thought was too long. But he didn't dare look at her. He knew she would be upset, but he needed to be alone right now. Please don't be upset.
"Oh…ok." Amy's shoulders went down, and the urge to start crying was too much for her to handle. She didn't expect any concrete reaction from her boyfriend after...that…but this was the last thing she wanted. She wanted to talk, to ask him what they just did, was it him or his fictional character who had had these ideas? Who thought about these actions, him or his Elven magic-user? Was it her or her half-orc warrior who received those intimate actions (or words in this case). Just a moment ago, he told her that what they shared was so intimate for him. But he didn't rule out being intimate with someone. Maybe what happened after he said that, their fictional exchange, was too much for him? If that was the case, they should talk, share what they were thinking, and feeling, at this moment. Instead he was pushing her away, again.
Amy stood up. She wanted to say many things, but she didn't want to cry in front of him. She hesitated for a second, her mind racing with things to say, things to ask. Would he really do what he said to her? Was it a game to him? Or was it something more? Because it was more for me. Thoughts collapsed in her brain, but she dismissed them all. It's Sheldon, better to not say something that would scare him anymore, right?. She clenched her fists, and without saying anything, she passed him and walked quickly towards the bedroom door.
When she passed, he noticed her watering eyes. Is she about to cry? That felt like a knife stabbing his heart. The conflicted feelings of running after her and staying safe in his room battled in his mind for what seemed like an eternity. But he remained seated, his hands clenching his knees.
Amy stomped out of his room as fast as she could. Leonard and Penny were sitting on the couch watching TV. The D&D game from the previous gang session was already nowhere to be seen. Howard and Bernadette were probably at home by now. How much time had they been in his room? With her head spinning the way it was, she couldn't recall if it was fifteen minutes or a whole hour.
"Amy?" Penny stood up quickly when she saw her friend walking to Sheldon's desk, where Amy's purse and jacket were. Penny could clearly sense her friend's distress.
"Go to check on Sheldon." Penny whispered to Leonard, who nodded slightly, already heading towards Sheldon's bedroom.
"Amy, what happened?" Amy didn't answer.
"We were worried." Penny added placing her hand gently into Amy's shoulder. Amy flinched.
Not good.
"Nothing. All is…fine." Amy was trying to hide from the scrupulous exam that her bestie was trying to do on her. She focused on grabbing her things and leaving this place as fast as she could.
"Look Ames, we're sorry for what happened before." Penny tried again to put a hand on Amy's shoulder, to stop her. At least now Amy let her do it. "That stupid thing about a love spell and all. We were just joking, you know that, right?"
"It's fine, bestie." Amy put her jacket on and slipped her purse over her head. Her answer sounded a little more bitter that she intended, but she didn't care now. She had a mix of anger and shame. Penny noticed her friend's suffering; for what exactly, Penny didn't know. Who knew what had just happened in that bedroom. Well, except for one thing, of that Penny was sure. But before she was able to ask for more information, the two women turned as they heard sounds and steps coming from the hallway.
"Amy, wait!" Sheldon's voice suddenly echoed in the main room. He walked into the room followed by a confused Leonard.
Amy didn't move from where she was. He asked her to go, what did he want now? Their gazes met and Sheldon stopped walking, a good distance still between them. They stood like that, just looking at each other from across the room. Their eyes danced, talking to each other in silence, while Penny and Leonard just watched the scene fearing that something bad would happen.
Leonard sneaked pass them, stopping at the apartment's front door, where Penny was standing. She was as confused as he was with what their friends were up to.
"What did she tell you?" Leonard whispered to Penny.
"Nothing!" Penny muttered, still watching her friends battling a war in silence. "And him?"
"Nothing! As I walked in he just stood up and came out here. He ignored…ouch!" Leonard felt Penny's hand clutching his arm, hard. It hurt him!
"Look, is Sheldon blushing?" Penny's eyes widened seeing her quirky friend's face red as a tomato.
Leonard, who was focused on his hurting arm for a moment, looked at his roommate and saw that Penny was right. Sheldon was blushing, and his demeanor seemed to change from tense to nervous as he started walking slowly towards Amy.
Sheldon stopped in front of his girlfriend and took her hand with shaking hands. "Take this." His voice was low and barely audible. He placed a little object on her palm and closed her hand gently.
Amy blinked several times, Sheldon's hands still holding her hand. They were warm and soft. She looked at them, how she loved those big hands and how they engulfed hers. It didn't happen often, but the feeling was always nice and calming.
They stayed looking at their hands in silence for a brief moment. Then Amy's gaze went back to his eyes and studied him again. He was blushing! He seemed embarrassed, nervous, guilty, and something more she couldn't place. She clutched the little object in her hand, she didn't need to look at it to know what he'd just given her. It was a die, the die they just used to play their game.
A chill ran up and down Amy's spine remembering what happened just a few minutes ago in his bedroom. She could feel her cheeks blush to match her boyfriend's. Maybe they needed some time to cool down. That was clearly what Sheldon needed, and maybe she needed it as well. Her previous anger had already changed to understanding. As clueless as Sheldon was in human behavior, he seemed to see that understanding in her eyes.
As in a silent agreement, Sheldon and Amy turned in opposite directions and walked away. Amy went directly to the front door, opened it and left. Sheldon walked back to his room, gathered some night clothes and locked himself in the bathroom.
"What the hell was that?" Penny asked Leonard, both looking at each other, incredulous. They shared a confused look between them about what they had just witnessed.
"You know what? I don't know if I want to find out." Leonard sighed. "I think it's best if we sleep at your place tonight." He didn't want to deal with whatever kind of mood Sheldon was in. Sheldon blushing? That was new. And if his friend needed them, they were next door anyway.
Amy drove to her apartment on automatic pilot. Her mind was elsewhere. She couldn't stop thinking about that evening. What started as a plan for a fun girls' trip to Vegas, ended...how could she describe the experience? Intense, sexy, forbidden and… frustrating. Soooo frustrating.
She couldn't lie to herself, she'd been so turned on. Her arousal was still present when she arrived home. She would probably need to take care of it before sleeping. As she was taking off her jacket, Amy felt exhausted, emotionally exhausted. But her body was still on fire! It was hot in the car, it was hot in her apartment…she still felt her cheeks burning! Maybe a bath would help her. She wouldn't be able to sleep like this! She knew that from experience. Oh, how she knew…
This was not the first time she'd arrived home craving for Sheldon's intimacy, sometimes it was after a date night, or maybe a dinner gathering with the gang. She craved for anything, a touch, a caress, a kiss, a wild night with him, whatever! But never, ever, like today. The need for him was too much. It was one thing when it was her fantasies and imagination, it was another thing to hear from his own mouth what he would do to her. Well, to her half-orc or whatever her character was. Ugh, she didn't like that, but ignoring that fact, the rest…she had no words. She would need to fan herself when just remembering their exchanges.
The way Sheldon described his actions, the way he gulped everytime she rolled the die. Amy could see he was overwhelmed by the situation, that was clear. Had he been uncomfortable? Amy wasn't sure, but she concluded that he didn't seem to feel that way. Out of place maybe, even in the safe place that it was his bedroom. Nervous? Yes. But it was a shared feeling! Amy had been paying attention to all his reactions, while trying to cover hers. With Sheldon you never knew. He seemed all business at first, it was a game after all. But slowly, as they progressed into the spoken actions, his voice lowered, his breathing accelerated, slightly, but enough for Amy to notice. The light in his room wasn't so bright, but she was aware of how his pupils dilated when it was her turn to roll the die. Was he turned on? No, of course not, It was Sheldon after all. Right? But...there was something in the way he looked at her, in the way he said every word…Only remembering his gaze made Amy shiver. She never experienced something like this before, never in her entire life.
Sitting at her kitchen counter after getting a glass of cold water with ice, Amy recalled more of his words, his expressions. Still immersed in her thoughts, she swallowed half of the refreshing drink. That wasn't enough to stop the burning sensation in her body. She sighed and looked at her purse resting near her on the kitchen counter. She reached out to it, but she didn't need to search inside it. In an outside pocket, she retrieved the die Sheldon had given her before she'd left. Looking at the little icosahedron, Amy rested her face in her other hand and sighed. She inspected all its triangular faces. How this little thing had turned her world upside down. Did she need to be grateful for that? Or maybe it caused huge damage to their relationship? The way he'd asked her to leave. Amy was still upset with him, of course she was! But if he was upset with what happened, why did he suggest it in the first place?! How was possible then, that he wanted to recreate a fictional intercourse exchange? Only for closure on the game's spell? Did Sheldon take the game so seriously that he even put himself into a…let's say...uncontrolled situation just because the game made him? That was a possibility, she couldn't rule out. Speaking of it, before it all started, he had said: 'I have not ruled it out.' He never had any interest in being intimate with anyone before her, he'd said. But now, he hadn't rule it out. What did that really mean to him? Was it a real possibility? Had he been thinking about it? Given what he had said in each of his turns, he seemed to have a very clear idea of what he wanted to do. Maybe…Oh stop it! Amy was frustrated with herself for overthinking about Sheldon's intentions. She didn't know if he was aware of what he was doing... But he knew what to do all the time!
Amy, obviously, knew what she wanted. She had been dreaming and fantasizing about what she would do to Sheldon in an intimate situation. For so long, she had been imagining every kind of encounter, mimicking her romance novels, movies, and her own desires. She just had to go with the flow of the moment. In the end, they only had to say it out loud. Real actions, that would have been different. Amy felt sad. Even being so determined about intimacy, she was, in fact, scared of it. I understand, Sheldon. I'm terrified as well. It was something new for her too. Unexplored territory. To expose herself to another person, body and soul, was scary. Amy touched her belly over her layers of wool, thinking about her insecurities. Not now. She pushed the thoughts about her body aside. Why so worried? It's not like it's happening anytime soon. Her bitter remark almost made her cry. Sheldon probably wouldn't want to talk about what happened. Maybe he would like to reset the relationship to a stage before what happened today.
"No! He is fine with it. He has to be fine with it! He was the one who suggested continuing the game!" She said out loud to the die in her hands. She rolled it on the kitchen counter. The die bounced a few times on the surface. The click-clack was the only sound in her apartment. It stopped flat on one of its faces. Amy sighed again. She was so conflicted about her own feelings, not to mention about what was happening in her boyfriend's complex mind!
She'd been so upset and sad before he'd come to stop her from leaving. She didn't know how to read his expression. He'd been so cold after they ended their exchange, in contrast with the intensity of how he'd said how he would caress, kiss, and adore her body; or her character's. Whatever. But his hands burned when he'd grabbed hers to give her the die, and she saw it then. There was something in his look. She didn't see him distant, or heartless. No, she saw anticipation. A promise. "He wouldn't reset the relationship, not after he gave me the die." Amy grabbed it and rolled it again.
Fourteen.
Amy closed her eyes and shivered. Oh my! This would not help get rid of her arousal. Ignoring her own thoughts, Amy kept rolling the die, losing track of time as she remembered over and over again their exchanges earlier that evening.
To be continued...
Thanks for reading! And thanks in advance for your reviews, I love to read your thoughts!
Fun fact: Did you know "die" is the singular of "dice"? I didn't! I learnt this writing this fic!
