Chapter 19: Starlight
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment *
TRIGGER WARNING!: Please pay attention to this warning. There's a flash forward(ish) section in this chapter. This is the section all in italics. It will contain Pregnancy Loss, Major Character Death, Infant Death and Violence. Nothing will be graphic but it's all in there so please take care of yourselves.
A/N: Here's another one. Time to see what our favourite boy hero has been up to, it sure has been a while since we've seen him. Found these lyrics just too perfect not to include.
The starlight
I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore
-Muse
Great Hall, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 16th 1975
Cepheus,
Regrettably, I have not made much in the way of progress regarding the issue you had asked me to look into. So far the Malfoys are proving more stubborn than I had anticipated. Apparently Cissa's unceremonious breaking off of her engagement to their boy was hardly the civil exchange she had led us to believe, making them less than receptive to any overtures from a Black. Greengrass, on the other hand, is proving himself to be both an astute businessman and a potentially useful ally. I may align with the man even if my efforts prove fruitless.
I get the impression that although he was fully aware of who he was getting into bed with, metaphorically speaking, when he aligned himself with the Malfoys, he had very little choice in the matter. Either way, this negotiation will not be an easy one, and I feel I must warn you of the very real possibility that I may not be able to get you what you want, much as it pains me to admit. The contract is iron-clad, so unless the Malfoys give it up of their own accord there is little to be done without the penalty clause being enacted.
I know this is not the news you had wished to hear my boy, and I am sorry for it. If you want the advice of an old man, here it is; Don't waste a minute. Be happy with your witch, and in time perhaps you can convince her to hang the contract and come away with you anyway. Perhaps you can't, but either way you'll have a sea of happy memories to help you weather the storm. Don't get lost in grief and worry over events that may never come to pass, all you'll do is miss the life that's happening around you.
Grandmother sends her regards along with some home made shortbread to share with your lady. She also told me to insist that you bring her to family dinner over the Easter break. I told her it would be inappropriate given the circumstances, but was none too kindly informed to, and I quote: "hang tradition from the highest broomstick, I want to meet my future granddaughter!"
Remember to keep on top of your classes, and stay focused on your mission. We're so proud of you son.
All the best,
Grandfather (and Grandmother!)
Harry swallowed down the embarrassing urge to cry. It wasn't anything he hadn't expected really, but this was the first time he could remember that his grandfather hadn't been able to fix everything for him. He knew that the man would keep trying, and felt a rush of gratitude and affection knowing how willing he had been to approach the Malfoys despite his life-long disdain for the entire clan. Despite this though, he couldn't help but read the subtext present throughout the entire missive. If Arcturus Black was admitting even the possibility of defeat, they had already lost.
He raged silently. It wasn't fair! How could he just sit back and watch while Pandora, his Pandora, married that Malfoy prat? And only two years from now too.
Don't waste a minute, Grandfather had said. Not that there were too many of those as it was. Only two years worth. He tucked the letter into his Potions textbook before stowing it away in his backpack. He had intended on heading to the library to finish his essay after breakfast but found he had quite lost his appetite. He glared angrily at the table as he sat in silence, filtering out the quiet chattering that filled the mostly empty Great Hall. He was pulled from his brooding by a familiar burning sensation against his wrist.
R U OK?
He lifted his eyes ever so slightly to see that Hermione had arrived at breakfast, Remus and Lily in tow. She wasn't looking back, seemingly engrossed in the tea she was fixing for the group, but he could see a subtle glint of gold as she tucked her charm back up into her sleeve. He sighed, shaking his head slightly in exasperation. Sometimes that girl knew him too well. Apparently no amount of Occlumency or comportment training could hide him from Hermione.
NO
He shot off the simple reply before returning his fiery gaze to the same particular knot of wood he had been staring at moments before. He swore under his breath as his wrist burned again. Couldn't a man get a moment's peace to wallow?
ROR? 10 Mins?
He smiled slightly. Apparently not. He sent his affirmative reply before gathering his things and leaving for the main staircase. Despite himself, he was looking forward to spending some much-needed quality time with his best friend for the first time in weeks. He was extremely happy that she and Remus had found happiness with each other, but the young wolf did have a tendency to monopolize her time. Not intentionally, but anyone with eyes could see how easily the pair got wrapped up in one another. It were as though there was no-one else in the room when they were together. He only wished it were like that with him and Pan.
She was beautiful, kind, and ridiculous. He adored her for her silly oversized glasses, and the way she wove feathers through her hair. He drowned himself in her kisses, and seared the memory of her fingerprints like a brand onto his skin. Their love was wonderful and all-encompassing, but they could never be allowed lose themselves fully the way Remus and Hermione were. They couldn't revel in the bliss of their feelings, or allow themselves to be quietly, beautifully content. There was always an undercurrent of frantic desperation running just below the surface of every touch, an air of wistful longing behind every laugh, a bracing for impact with every 'I love you'. It was exhausting.
He found his mood had dipped again as he finally reached the seventh floor. He reprimanded himself as he paced back and forth, waiting for the door to appear. He had known when they first started that he wouldn't get to keep her. She had told him that they weren't forever, but as usual he had stupidly thrown himself head-first towards the danger. He had allowed himself to fall further and further each day, all the time knowing that all he had waiting for him at the bottom was pain as he hit the ground.
He yanked the door open with more force than was strictly necessary, only to be stunned as found himself faced with an exact replica of the kitchen at the Burrow. Apparently, in his anguish, the Room had decided to provide him with the place he found most comforting. His senses assaulted him with memories of the scent of home-made treacle-tart, the soft feeling of warm woollen jumpers and the sound of raucous laughter wafting through from the sitting room. A million happy moments flooded his consciousness as his eyes grew itchy and wet, filled with wistful nostalgia and the yearning for home. For the first time since his trip back, he wished for his old life.
He longed to hear Ron's laugh again, or to smell Ginny's hair. He would have given anything in that moment for just one of Mrs. Weasley's hugs, suffocating though they were. Somehow life here just felt more complicated, filled with secrets and half-truths. It was just another place where he could never fully be himself, a place where the girl he loved would be marrying another man.
He never noticed the sound of the door opening as he sank into the well-worn wooden chair at the magically-expanded table.
"Harry? What is this place?"
He hastily swiped at his cheeks before turning around to face his unexpected companion.
"The Weasley's place, from my time. Pan, what are you doing here? I was expecting-"
"Hermione? Yes I bumped into her on my way here and asked her to let me come and talk to you in her place. It's very charming you know, this place. I'm not surprised you'd turn to it for comfort."
"But how did you know-" He paused when he saw the expectant look on her face, suddenly sure he was missing something.
"How did I know? Really Harry? Haven't you learned by now that I know everything? "
Of course, her Sight. He smacked himself mentally, how could he have forgotten?
"I thought that was Hermione." he quipped, trying to force himself to smile.
"No, she just thinks she knows everything." She corrected lightly, her tone matching his forced cheer.
"Ah yes, that's it."
They sat in silence for a few seconds, an air of unease filling the air around them.
"Harry, I know what you've asked your Grandfather to do, and I'd like you to stop."
He felt his entire body tense angrily, but managed to keep his tone cool and sharp. "You'd like him to stop. Am I allowed to ask why?"
She sighed sadly, that same burdened sigh he'd heard the other million times they'd had this argument.
"You know this marriage has to happen. I've told you-"
"But you haven't told me why? Dammit Pandora this isn't fair! You can't ask me to just stand back and watch while you marry someone you don't love. It'll finish me." Unable to hold himself back any longer, the words exploded out of him as his heart gnawed and throbbed with panic.
She sank to her knees before him, grabbing his chin and pulling hard to force him to meet her eyes.
"Do you honestly believe I want it to be this way? That at some point over these last few years I have taken leave of all my senses and somehow grown to desire Lucius Malfoy for a husband?"
Harry, raw and senseless, spat back angrily; "I don't know, maybe you fancy yourself Lady of Malfoy Manor. A lot of fancy parties and frilly dresses in that job description. Or maybe it's Prince Lucius and his stupid hair."
As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished that he could grab them from the ether and stuff them back inside his stupid mouth. He could see the hurt shining in her eyes, despite the hard set of her mouth and jaw, her pureblood upbringing transforming her into someone new entirely. She let go of his face and started to rise, smoothing her robes as she spoke in tone of icy indifference.
"Perhaps you're right. What's freedom after all, compared to parties? What's love, and excitement and true happiness, in the face of frilly dresses?" He felt a heavy ball of guilt settle in his stomach, a hard lump sticking to his throat as he struggled to find words profound enough to convey his regret.
"Well, now that I know you think so little of me I won't bother discussing the issue any further. Kindly assure your grandfather that although I am grateful for his concern, it is no longer necessary."
He jumped up as she turned to walk away, her anger growing more apparent with every click of her Mary Janes.
"Pan! I'm sorry. Pan, please stop. Please wait Star!" He grabbed her wrist just as she reached the door, desperation holding him firmly in its grip.
To his immense relief, she did stop, although she didn't turn to face him. He ran his hands through his hair, causing it to stand comically on end. Pity he didn't feel much like laughing.
"I'm an arse. I'm so sorry. I knew none of that was true even while I was saying it. Well, except the part about Malfoy's stupid hair, that's true enough."
Pandora, who had finally turned to face him, eyed his own mop of hair dubiously. He winced.
"Okay, fair enough, maybe I'm not one to talk but still. Where was I? Oh shite. Well, basically I'm just sorry. A sorry arsehole with hair as stupid as Lucius Malfoy who can't even-"
That was as far as he got before he was interrupted by the glorious sound of Pandora giggling. He smiled at her in return, a confused smile that only served to set off a fresh wave of laughter.
"Oh, I do love you Harry Potter. You and your big mouth." She practically skipped the two steps it took to reach him before pushing herself up onto her tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his lips.
"But be warned, if you ever speak to me like that again, I swear you'll not be speaking to anyone for a good long while." He shivered, torn between fear and arousal. She may look angelic, but the girl could be terrifying when the mood struck her. That all her threats were delivered with a kiss and a sweet smile did nothing to lessen their effectiveness.
"Fair enough. Now can we talk?"
The smile slipped almost immediately from her face, replaced with a look so glum he wished he'd never spoken.
"I suppose we should."
He nodded his head, taking her hand as he gently guided her to the comfy sofa in the familiar sitting area the Room had kindly provided access to.
"So. Why don't you tell me why you think you have to go through with it. Don't give me that rubbish about contracts and money, you know that I have more than enough to sort you and your family thirty times over."
She shot him a sharp look of warning. "Even if I were to let you do that. Which I wouldn't, by the way. It's one thing to be bought and paid for by a swine like Lucius, but another thing entirely to let you do it. It's not a debt I could ever repay."
She must have seen him gearing up to protest, jumping in quickly to continue. "Second of all, I don't think I have to do this. I know it. I've Seen it."
He snorted in disgust, "Prophecies, again. I'm so sick of prophecies. They never mean what you think they do, and half the time they're self-fulfilling. Bloody load of hippogriff sh-"
"This isn't prophecy. That's not how my Sight works Harry. It's visions, and visions of visions. It's definite points, surrounded by vague possibility. It's knowing what might come to pass, and what has to."
"And this...this has to?" He heard his voice crack and wobble as he spoke. She'd never discussed her gift with him before, not really, and he'd never asked. It had always felt too personal. Now he wished he had asked sooner.
"Yes. I'm sorry Harry." For the first time since this entire wretched conversation began, she allowed herself to cry. A single tear, that slowly dragged down her face, carrying within it the entire weight of her grief and sorrow. She reached out a hand, placing it in his as she closed her eyes.
Elsewhere, Time and Date Unknown
"Don't do it Pan. Please Star, come away with me. Hang the future. Hang all of it. Lets just run, we'll figure it out together. Don't ask me to be without you. Don't make me watch you sign your life away to him. Marry me instead."
She looked older, they both did, but only slightly. Harry stared at the pair in confusion. What was this? He studied the ancient-looking dressing room, larger and far showier than the one at Black Manor. He took in the long, complicated braid she wore, ending at the small of her back, all manner of delicate wild-flowers weaved through it, and the floaty blush-coloured dress. She looked perfect, like some fairy queen from the old stories. He noticed the perfectly tailored suit his future self was wearing and it didn't take long for him to come to the conclusion that he was at Pandora's wedding.
Why had she brought him here? This was the absolute last place he wanted to be right now. He didn't want to see the pained looked and undisguised longing shining in his future-self's eyes. Was this his future? Would he be forever pining for her? He could practically see the way future-Harry's heart split open, spilling all over the floor for her.
"Okay. Yes, Let's go" He had never heard her voice so unsure, so small.
He gaped at her, clearly unable to comprehend what he'd just heard.
"Yes?"
"Yes." She sounded more confident now, her eyes shining with happiness. "But quickly, before anyone sees."
"I'm on it!"
They both jumped in fright, guilty expressions easily discernible through the shock.
"Merlin Hermione. You have got to stop doing that!" Harry exclaimed, sighing in relief.
"What? Eavesdropping, or walking in on your private moments?" she teased, tucking one neat curl behind her ear. Present Harry smiled to see the small diamond on her ring finger. No surprises there. Now, where was-
"Both, I would imagine." Ah, there was Remus "We shall endeavour to stop from this day forward, I promise. Our wedding gift to you."
"I thought our wedding gift was causing a distraction so they could actually get married in the first place?"
"What we can't get them two gifts?"
"Of course we can, I'm just saying-" He smiled as their voices trailed away, bickering as they made their way down the corridor, presumably to cause the aforementioned distraction.
"Harry, I'm scared."
He took her hand and brought it to his lips, brushing a soft kiss against the knuckles. "Me too. But it's going to be great. It's me and you, alright? Forever."
She smiled a watery smile, took one steadying breath and clasped her hand tightly in his. "Okay. Let's go. Are you sure your grandfather will help us?"
Harry chuckled. "Are you kidding? He'll be thrilled at the chance to stick it to old Abraxas. Let's do it."
Just like that, he grabbed her hand and the two were dashing through the halls of Malfoy Manor, matching looks of unbridled glee upon their faces. They laughed, exhilarated as they finally made it to the gate. Harry grabbed her face and kissed her hard, the lovers locked in a heated embrace as they disappeared with an audible pop.
Present-Harry didn't know what to make of it. Wasn't this exactly what Pandora had just said could never happen? Before he had time to ponder the thought any further he was whisked away to another place.
They were in what appeared to be a small cottage by the sea, a clearly nude Pandora lying face down on a large white bed as her husband traced small patterns across her back with his fingertips.
"Stop it Harry. That's ticklish."
He smiled widely, making the patterns smaller and smaller until she turned around and swiftly smacked him on his well-muscled chest. Present-Harry tried to avert his eyes away from her bared breasts. Well, mostly. It wasn't as though it were anything he'd never seen before.
"I said stop. Don't make me spank you."
"Perish the thought." He smirked, a weird smile present-Harry was sure he had never worn. "After all, that's more your thing eh, love?"
He blanched. Oh God, were those his bedroom eyes? Was that smile supposed to be seductive?!
She laughed heartily, making her breast jiggle ever so slightly. Apparently future-Harry noticed this too, pouncing on top of her and snogging her thoroughly. His hands slowly stroked her sides, making her shiver and moan, before sliding one hand up to cup her breast. He squeezed her nipple lightly, eliciting a loud yelp of pain from the blonde witch.
The man jumped away instantly, wand drawn from under his pillow with wide eyes. Harry recognised that scared look instantly; they were at war once again. Finally deducing that there was no threat, he scanned his eyes over his wife for injuries. Finding none, he stared at her confused, waiting for an explanation.
She didn't offer one. Instead she just glared resolutely at the blanket where it had fallen on the floor, refusing to talk. Eventually, Harry relented and asked the question."Okay, what was that? Why did you scream?"
"You squeezed too hard. It hurt," She said moodily, still staring at the floor.
"Like hell. You don't usually mind."
"Not usually pregnant." Her reply was muttered quietly, but she may well have shouted for all the impact it had. Harry was on his feet, face white as a sheet as he paced back and forth.
"Pregnant?"
"Yes." Her eyes filled with tears at her own whispered words. "Are you angry with me?"
He sighed, running his hands through his hair as he returned to his place on the bed beside her.
"Angry? Of course not. There's nothing I want more than to have a baby with you Pan, it's just..."
"The war? Yeah." She offered him a rueful smile as he nodded stiffly in reply.
"And now we'll have to get you to a different safe house. They need this one for the active fighters."
"I know. It's sad, I really love it here."
"Me too."
They sat in silence a while, only broken when Harry started to smile. It was a wide, crazy, Hermione-like smile that caused Pandora to frown at him in concern.
"Are you alright Harry?"
All of a sudden, he whooped and jumped up on the bed, bringing his wife with him.
"A baby Pan, Our baby. I'm going to be a dad!"
She laughed until she cried as the couple jumped up and down on the bed, looking more than a little childish as they did so.
They collapsed onto the bed with a sigh, breathless.
"Maybe it'll be okay you know, having a baby while all this is going on. Sirius manages it after all, it can't be that hard."
"A surprise to all of us, truly." Pandora agreed, smiling properly now.
"So when is it due? The baby?"
"The end of July."
Pandora's brow wrinkled in confusion as both Harrys gasped in silent horror.
They were in a different house now, and yet it seemed familiar to Harry somehow.
"Mummy, why is Pandora screaming like that?" a child's voice asked innocently, with more than a hint of fear colouring her tone.
"Because having a baby really, REALLY, hurts." Andy replied, too busy to come up with a comforting lie as she bustled around the bedroom gathering supplies. "Ted, would you please come through here and fetch Dora?"
"Sorry love, I had to deal with Sirius. He just came through the floo asking for help with Lily, who's apparently gone into labour too. I sent him over to Molly, don't you worry."
She sighed in relief. "Thank you love. There must be something in the water, Alice had her little one only yesterday."
present-Harry followed a harassed looking Andy as she walked along he hall to another smallish bedroom where a sweat-soaked Pandora lay crying out in agony.
"Make it stop Harry. It hurts."
He held her left hand tightly in his as he reached his other hand round to stroke her hair soothingly.
"I know love, I'm sorry. You're doing so well, I'm so proud of you."
She let out a sob. "That doesn't help at all. You're no good at this. I'm getting a new husband once this is all over."
Andromeda was forced to cover her laugh with a cough as she took in Harry's affronted expression from her place at the foot of the bed.
"Fine. Whatever you want Star, let's just get through this first."
"Alright, looks like it's time to start pushing. Come on chickie, as hard as you can for me!"
What followed was by far the most horrifying, disgusting thing present-Harry had ever seen, and he had spent the better part of his youth fighting a war. After it all though, all that remained were two perfectly red wrinkled little human beings wrapped in blue blankets and their beaming parents.
"Oh Harry they're so perfect."
"They are. I can't believe we made them." The awe in future-Harry's voice was captivating. Finally, he had a proper family, one that was completely his own. Finally he knew exactly where he belonged. It was overwhelming, and if present-Harry shed a few tears too, well, at least there was no-one else around to see it.
There were lots of memories like that. Little moments as well as big. His oldest sons, Alphard and Arcturus, learning to smile. Learning to walk and to talk, becoming their own little people. They each had dirty blonde hair, courtesy of their mother, with the classically handsome Black features and piercing green eyes. Despite the similarities in appearance, the two boys had vastly different personalities. Where Alphard was sensitive and kind, Arcturus was just as sharp and cunning as his namesake. They were followed by a daughter not two yeas later, a girl named Selene after Pandora's now late mother. She was an angelic baby, all dark hair and bright blue eyes that sparkled with curiosity.
While their lives grew ever fuller and more rich with each passing year, Harry and Pandora seemed to grow more and more haunted with every memory, looking over their children as though they could never take in enough of them. It looked painfully familiar.
It was just like they were now. There it was, the undercurrent of desperation and panic, the need to grab on and never let go. Present-Harry felt a sense of dread start to pool at his stomach. What was it they knew?
They were in another cottage now, the family never seeming to stay long in any one place. The now three-year old twins didn't seemed to mind though; to them life was one big adventure.
"Alfie! Alfie look! I'm Horntail!" The toddler stomped his feet and let out his best roar as he bared his teeth.
"Oh cool, I want to be one too!" Soon the small living room was overrun by two overexcited children yelling and laughing at ear-splitting volumes. Inevitably, all the noise proved to be too much for little Selene who promptly began wailing at the top of her lungs.
"Okay my little monsters, time for baby dragons to go to bed."
"No mummy!"
"Just a bit longer please!" Present-Harry smirked as he took in their twin pleading looks, so like his own. His amusement though was tinged with a hint of sympathy for his boys, they were about to learn what he had so long ago; that look never worked on Pan. Grandmother maybe, but not her.
"I'm sorry boys, but it's getting late and you're upsetting your sister. Now go upstairs and get changed, and pick out a bedtime story for Dad and I to read after we get Selene settled."
Thoroughly dejected, the twins shuffled out of the living room and up the stairs. Harry watched on as his future self took the fussing one-year old from her mothers arms. He held her close, rubbing small soothing circles on her back until her sobs subsided and her eyes started to droop with exhaustion. Pandora looked on with a small smile, her eyes soft as she took on the sight of her husband with their daughter.
"You're so good with her."
"Yes, it's almost as though she were mine" he teased lightly, earning him an exasperated eye-roll courtesy of his wife.
"You know what I mean. I know the world isn't all we want it to be, and that the future is uncertain, and that we don't have everything you want for us-"
"I hope this is going somewhere."
"Hush up,I'm talking," she admonished with a glare. "I know this isn't the life you wanted for us, but I just want you to know that I wouldn't change a moment of it. I love you, and I love our life, and there's not a day goes by that I'm not grateful that you stole me away."
Both Harrys felt overcome with a rush of affection and love for the strong woman before them. How could they ever have gotten so bloody lucky?
Just as he reached out a hand to hold hers, they were interrupted by a loud popping sound from outside.
"What was that?"
"Probably just some late trick-or-treaters I expect." Pandora ventured, although her brow furrowed in concern.
"Trick-or-treaters don't apparate Star." Wand in hand, he straightened his spine and relaxed his shoulders as he readied himself for a fight.
"Here. Take Selene to the boys' room and don't come out until I say it's safe. No matter what you hear don't come out."
"What? No! Harry I-"
"Please don't argue, I need you and the kids to be safe. Please." He silently begged her to heed his words as he placed a bruising kiss against her lips and a soft one on his daughter's head.
Present-Harry felt a tightness in his chest as he watched a terrified Pandora steel herself as she flew up the stairs two at a time, forcing herself not to look back. Harry slowly crept towards the front door, wand pointed directly in front of him. His hand was surprisingly steady considering his audibly shaky breathing. After less than a minute, the door swung open to reveal-
"Hermione? Oh my God, what happened?"
An extremely pregnant Hermione collapsed through the door, her face waxy and pale. She was covered in dirt and grime, the front of her dress stained with blood. There seemed to be blood everywhere, even her hands had turned a sticky orange-brown
"Harry- I need to... Oh God. Remus... I want Remus." She was almost incoherent, coughing and sobbing in turns as she seized in pain.
"Remus? Is he at home? I can go-"
"No! Gone! All gone..." Harry's face drained of al colour as he cradled her head in his lap, stroking her hair as he subtly tried to find the source of the ever-expanding pool of blood. His stomach sank as he came to the rapid realisation that it had be coming from between her legs. He had to call someone.
"It's- It'll be okay 'Mione I promise. Let me just go and call Andy. You need help, I can't-"
"ALL GONE HARRY. Why are they always all gone? Don't leave me Harry." She let out a loud keening sound unlike anything he'd ever heard.
He had started to cry now too, "I-I won't. Just tell me what you want me to do. I'm here, I won't leave you."
The clouds seemed to clear from her eyes slightly as a fresh wave of pain overtook her wrecked body. She met his eyes as her skin faded to a horribly familiar shade of grey. She was dying.
No! No, no no! Why the fuck was Pandora showing him this. He wanted to leave, to get out of this hellish place. He couldn't see this. Not Hermione.
"H-Harry. Voldemort knows. He's coming. Now. Be safe... I love you."
"What? How? Hermione?!"
It was no use, her eyes had become glassy and fixed even as the blood continued to pour from her body. Harry shook his head in silent denial. She just couldn't be dead. It was impossible. This wasn't what they had come back for. It wasn't supposed to be like this! He jumped up suddenly, a noise from the garden snapping him back to attention before the fresh tears had even finished falling from his eyes. Instincts honed by years of fighting made little allowance for grief.
He made his way outside, determined not to let anything or anyone near his family. He pressed one finger to the small tattoo behind his left ear, hoping that someone on the other end would hear his cry for help, but knowing that it was probably already too late for him. No matter. He had walked to his death once before to save the people he loved, and he would do it again a million times over.
A flash of green light missed him by inches as he threw himself to the ground. He recovered quickly, bringing himself to his feet as he shot off a chain of dark cutting curses mixed with a Blood-Curdling Hex. He wouldn't waste his time sending stunners at an enemy who was shooting to kill. The hooded figure laughed a high, cold laugh as he dodged the spells with surprising grace.
"Very good Heir Black. I see not all of your kin are as soft as your simpleton brother. Oh how he cried as I slaughtered his children right before his eyes."
Harry felt his insides grow cold. Sirius.
He pushed on though, his mind fixed firmly on his wife and children who he was now sure would not be able to apparate away to safety if he didn't do something. He sent a slicing hex chased with an entrail-expeller. The first hit landed, opening up a small cut in his assailant's upper arm. He didn't seem to notice though as he continued his monologue undeterred.
"Of course, no-one can fault him on his bravery. He didn't give up your location even as his wife cried and begged on the floor while I tortured her. Pity. I could have gifted her with a good clean death. Not like your youngest brother. I don't take kindly to traitors."
Reg. Finally losing his concentration, Harry let out a roar of grief and pain as he sent a bright red jet of light towards Voldemort. It was a spell borne from years of suffering and toil, it sapped all his strength and brought him to his knees, and yet it still wasn't enough.
Stepping just out of the spell's range, Voldemort tutted in mock-disappointment.
"I must admit, I'd thought this would be more difficult. This is the one who protects the all-powerful child of the prophecy? How... inadequate. Avada Kedavra."
Green light filled his vision, and Harry knew no more.
Another flash of memory assaulted present-harry, who was still too shocked to fully comprehend what had just transpired.
"Not Alfie, not Alfie, please not Alfie!" Pandora clutched her son tightly to her chest, begging. Her other two children lay dead on the bed as she sobbed.
"Stand aside, you silly girl . . . stand aside now."
"Not Alfie, please no, take me, kill me instead—"
"This is my last warning—"
"Not Alfie! Please . . . have mercy . . . have mercy. . . . Not Alfie! Not Alfie! Please— I'll do anything— "
"Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!" She turned her back on him then, whispering soft words of love and farewell as the toddler stared at her with wide, terrified eyes.
"Mummy, I'm scared."
She tried to smile as she kissed his forehead. "I know baby, but it's all going to be okay, I won't let anyone hurt you."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She placed her son down on his feet, smoothing down his hair and drinking in the sight of him one last time as she stood tall, turning to face her attacker.
"No. Please. You can take me instead, just leave my son be."
The man regarded her with something akin to disgust before he spoke.
"So be it."
Harry closed his eyes, sure that if he were forced to witness the death of one more person he loved today, he would crack. Was this to be his future then? Was it his fate to love, and love again, only to have it all cruelly ripped away from him every time? He felt a deep sadness sink into his bones at the notion. Why bother with love at all then? Maybe Dumbledore had it all wrong before.
He shook his head in protest. No. Even if this was to be his fate, a short life lived with love was worth a thousand lifetimes without it. He had believed that the day he walked to his death in the Forbidden Forest, and he believed it now.
Finally, he opened his eyes only to find himself in yet another unfamiliar setting.
"You must take him in, Narcissa. There is no-one else." Dumbledore's tone was grave and sombre as he appealed to the young woman before him. She was as beautiful as she always was, her appearance softened somewhat by the infant she rocked in her arms. She looked exhausted, the bags under her eyes deep and dark, the rims red from crying.
"But Grandfather-"
.
"Is too old and embittered by grief. He's become obsessed with revenge. That's no environment for a child to grow up in."
"And am I not burdened with grief of my own?" she asked sharply. "In the space of less than a week I have lost two sisters, three cousins and a husband. I have three young children of my own to care for and little means of feeding them without my grandfather's assistance."
Blue eyes twinkled behind gold half-moon spectacles as he replied. "Do not think I misunderstand the weight of the task I have set upon you my dear. It is vital though, that the boy should be hidden away. I shall help you in whatever small way I can, but you must take your family and hide away in the muggle world."
Narcissa's eyes went hard as she considered his words. "Why? Why would you have me do this? It can't simply be to protect the boy from his fame. My family have plenty of resources to do that themselves, as I'm sure you're aware."
The man sighed, looking every inch his not-inconsiderable age. "You always were a sharp girl. There is another reason."
He paused, looking unsure how much he should give away. The young woman before him offered nothing more than an expectant look, waiting for him to continue.
"The Dark Lord is not dead."
She gasped, drawing her daughter a little more tightly to her breast. "How is that possible? Everyone is saying he was destroyed."
"And so he was" Dumbledore agreed, "Destroyed, but not quite dead. It is my most fervent belief that he will rise again, and when he does he will most certainly come after young Alphard."
Narcissa drew one hand to her mouth as her eyes filled with tears.
"Alright" she whispered. "I'll take him. Bring him to me."
"I will have Hagrid drop him off first thing in the morning. Take the night to rest and get your affairs in order. You do the wizarding world a great service Narcissa Shacklebolt."
"Fuck the wizarding world." Harry gaped. Narcissa didn't swear. "All I care about is protecting my young cousin from that beast."
Smiling slightly, Dumbledore conjured a stunning crystal decanter and two matching glasses before pouring a generous measure of mead into each.
"To Alphard then." Narcissa accepted the drink gratefully, tilting it in the direction of her old headmaster.
"To Alphard Black." she agreed, her tone slightly sarcastic. "The Boy Who Lived."
Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 16th 1975
Harry yanked his hand from Pandora's as though he had been burned by it. He could barely see through the storm of anguish and revulsion that had taken root inside him. He had condemned his son to his own miserable fate. Was this the universe's cruel way of proving a point? That there truly was nothing he could do to change the future? That destiny would have it's due no matter what he did? He was unravelling, mentally coming apart at the seams when he was stopped dead in his tracks by Pandora's quiet declaration.
"We can stop it."
He froze. What was it she had said earlier? "It's visions, and visions of visions. It's definite points, surrounded by vague possibility," Was this only one of those possibilities?
"Do you see now?" Her voice sounded thick and heavy with tears as she spoke. "Do you see what will happen if I don't marry Lucius?"
He was floored. All of that pain and misery, caused by one decision. Is this the weighty responsibility Pandora lived with every day? He didn't know how she could stand it.
"Yeah. Yeah I get it now. I'm sorry...I'll leave it alone." His lower lip wobbled as he drew her close to him in a hopeless embrace.
"Then promise me you won't ask."
"What?"
"Promise me you won't ask me to come away with you ever again. Because I don't think I'll have the strength to say no again."
He stared straight into her pleading eyes and crumbled. These were the eyes he'd seen crinkle with laughter as they made their escape from Malfoy Manor, and screw up with pain as she delivered their children. He'd seen them roll back in pleasure as he made love to her, and narrow in anger when he stayed out too late with Sirius. He'd seen those eyes soften and glow as she cared for their children and defiantly stare down Voldemort as she refused to let him take away any more of her babies. She was the love of his life, and now he had to let her go.
"I promise." He could've sworn he saw his own devastation reflected in those eyes as he lowered his head to offer her a sweet kiss.
"It was a beautiful life for a minute there though, wasn't it?" He said gently.
"It was." she agreed, before finally allowing herself to fall apart.
A/N: Wow, longest chapter to date. I really needed to break out the tissues writing this one! Hopefully you all enjoyed it and don't hate me too much. Let me know!
Til next time,
SJ