3Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory franchise or any characters associated with the franchise. All rights belong to Roald Dahl, Tim Burton, and Warner Bros. Pictures. This is not my intellectual property, and no financial gain is made from this nor will be sought. This is purely for entertainment purposes only.
Author's note: I got the idea for this oneshot while reading one of my own stories, "The Ride of a Lifetime", which features a ride that opened inside Willy Wonka's factory for the public. One of my favorite coasters I've ridden to date is the Revenge of the Mummy at Universal Studios Orlando, so I figured, what if Mike Teavee went on that ride with everyone else? Well, you're about to find out! ;)
"Hm, this seems like an interesting ride," Violet said as she looked at the map of Universal Studios Orlando. She, along with Mr. Wonka, Charlie, Augustus, and Veruca, had just exited Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit, a large red coaster with a vertical lift hill and special vehicles where you could choose which song you wanted to listen during the ride. She was pointing at a building in the New York section of the park, and according to the map, the ride that was housed within was called Revenge of the Mummy.
"Uh-uh," Mike responded, furiously shaking his head. "You know I don't like roller coasters, and that Escape from Gringotts ride was bad enough! At least I took photos while you guys rode Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit!"
"Come on," Violet pleaded, grabbing onto Mike's hand. "It'll be fine! We didn't come all this way for you to just cry like a baby and chicken out on every single attraction. We came for the rides. Besides, Charlie got us all Express Passes. Now let's go."
Passers-by watched with snickers and grins of amusement as Violet literally dragged Mike along the crowded path towards a large, stately building that was made to look like an old museum from days gone by. An enormous "Revenge of the Mummy" sign was positioned above the main facade of the museum, and just below that was some text that said, "MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES".
"So, this is supposed to represent an antiques museum?" Veruca wondered as she gazed at the impressive building. Just to the left was the ride's entrance, and the wait time for the regular entrance was well over an hour.
"Thank goodness for those Express Passes," Mike grumbled as he reluctantly showed his pass to the cast member standing at the entrance. "That way, we'll at least get this done and over with sooner."
After the others showed their passes, and after being held up for a while due to the cast member recognizing Willy Wonka, they all entered the building with various expressions on their faces. Charlie, Mr. Wonka, and Violet were all too eager to get on the ride, Veruca and Augustus seemed a little more hesitant, and Mike looked as if he was just sentenced to the gallows.
"Mike, it's just a ride," Violet said to the terrified gamer. "You are thousands of times more likely to get struck by lightning than being so much as injured on any of these rides."
"I don't care," Mike grumbled. "But I guess I'll just tough it out, since we're already past the point of no return. At least you're here to encourage me...somewhat."
As the group meandered through the queue, which was made to look like a film set for a fictional sequel titled "Revenge of the Mummy", the regular path split off from the single-rider and Express Pass queues.
"Aw, so I don't have the chance to look at all the props from the movie?" Veruca moaned, frowning in disappointment upon noticing that it was only the regular line that offered the full experience of the ride's backstory. She longingly looked at the regular path to her left, and she could see a fenced-off closet with dozens of clothing items from the film.
"Well, that's the trade-off when you choose the express line," Charlie said to her as they continued down the Express Pass queue.
Soon, the theming gradually morphed into a 1940's archaeological dig through the corridors of an Egyptian tomb. The room's dim lanterns provided just enough illumination for everyone to see their surroundings, as well as the hieroglyphics that lined the walls.
"Creepy," Augustus muttered as he looked around, taking note of the impressive theming inside the tomb.
After a little more walking, the group ascended two flights of stairs, emerging into a large room that served as the coaster's loading station. The ride vehicles, which looked like mine carts, had four rows of four seats, so sixteen guests could ride at once. Unfortunately, the fact the cars were being loaded from both sides meant that the group had to split up. Violet forced Mike to ride with her in the front row along with two other random strangers. Charlie and Veruca seated themselves in the second row, also with two random strangers. In the third row, Willy Wonka frowned as he realized he had to sit by Augustus, along with more random strangers.
Well, at least Augustus isn't such a greedy snob anymore, the chocolatier thought as the remaining row was being loaded, so this shouldn't be too bad.
As everyone pushed down on their individual ratcheting lap bars, two ride ops walked from the front of the car to the back and then to the front again to make sure that everyone was safely seated.
"Excuse me," one of the ride ops called upon noticing Mr. Wonka, "would you please stow your top hat in the cargo pouch in front of you? I bet you wouldn't wanna lose that."
"Right, yes," Willy said, quickly removing his top hat and securing it into the pouch. My hair cream sure does a great job at locking in moisture! he thought to himself as he stroked his bob cut with a finger.
Seconds later, the ride vehicle slowly began to depart the station.
"Here we go!" Violet said to Mike. "Ready?" Mike just shook his head, all the while shaking in fear of what might happen next.
The mine cart turned a right-hand corner and entered another room inside the tomb.
"Are you insane? Get outta here! The curse is real!" a panicked voice shouted. The voice belonged to Reggie, a partially mummified crew member who was last seen on the set. "This whole place is a trap! He's after your souls! Look for the medjai symbol. It's your only hope!" Suddenly, a sarcophagus opened up, and an animatronic mummy named Imhotep appeared from inside it.
"Silence!" Imhotep's voice boomed as he sucked out Reggie's soul. He then reminded the riders, "With your souls, I shall rule for all eternity!"
"Look, Mike!" Violet cried as the car slowly turned left. Certain parts of the wall to their right began to glow red as they passed. "You like technology, and this ride is loaded with it. Just focus on that instead."
Next, they emerged into a large room that was filled with all sorts of treasure on both sides of the track. The room was dark until a holographic projection of Imhotep's face appeared at the far end in front of a tomb mural.
"Serve me and savor riches beyond measure," he tempted as light appeared across the room, revealing all sorts of sparkling artifacts around them. In a much sterner voice, he continued, "Or refuse, and savor a more bitter treasure."
Mike gasped in fright as soldier mummies suddenly jumped out towards the car, and white-hot jets of fire erupted from both sides of the track, as well as in front of Imhotep, who was reciting an Egyptian curse: "Akudei makrraken ra!" Mike grabbed onto Violet's hand as the ride sped up and swung around a left-hand turn before "crashing" into a wall.
"Oof!" Mike said, not expecting the sudden stop, but that was the least of his worries as hundreds of thousands of scarab beetles began pouring out of the wall, the projections making it seem as if they were going to swarm all over the riders! Then suddenly...
"AHH! We're going backwards!" Mike hollered as the car lurched backwards, dropping down a small hill in total darkness before coming to a complete stop in another room. Once again, Imhotep's face appeared on a screen in front of the helpless guests before moving around to the back of the room. Much to Mike's surprise, the entire vehicle was rotating 180 degrees to follow him.
"Not even the medjai can save you now," Imhotep warned. "There is no escape. Your end shall be my beginning. Behold your fate. Will this be your destiny?"
Suddenly, the car began moving forward, strobe lights flashed all around, and the track began to slope upwards.
"YOUR SOULS ARE MINE!" Imhotep shouted as green fog came pouring out of his mouth, and Mike Teavee screamed in terror as linear induction motors launched the car up the slope, hitting forty miles per hour as they blasted through Imhotep's skull into total darkness.
"AAAAAAAAHHH!" Mike shouted, clutching onto the handles as tightly as he could while the car plunged down a twisting, fifty-degree drop into a right-hand turn. "Help meeeee!"
Violet, as well as the strangers sitting beside Mike, couldn't help but laugh at him as the track suddenly banked hard to the left, circling around a counterclockwise helix. After a short drop and a highly-banked turn to the right past several projections of mummies, the track turned left, then right, then left again like a missile gone haywire as it continued to speed through the main part of the ride. After a final left-hand turn, the ride came to a sudden and unexpected stop inside an unloading station that everyone soon realized was fake.
"We hope you enjoyed your ride," the silhouette of a female ride op announced from behind a glass-windowed control booth.
"Yeah, right," Mike grimaced. "I know it's not over. You can't fool me."
"Please remain seated," she continued, "and keep your arms and legs in—" Suddenly, a blinding strobe light flashed as Imhotep shattered the glass and sucked the soul out of the poor girl.
"Prepare to forfeit your souls!" he laughed evilly as fireballs erupted all around, and even the ceiling caught on fire.
"It feels like I've been feasting on Warming Candies!" Mr. Wonka said to Charlie. "Man, it's hot in here!"
"Death is only the beginning!" the evil mummy growled as the ride launched forwards once again, but this time, it plunged down a thirty-nine foot drop, banking hard to the left before rising up again into total darkness. A cloud of yellow fog blasted everyone's faces as the car made a final right-hand turn, passing through the medjai symbol before the brakes kicked in. Rick O'Connell appeared on a screen in front of them.
"Hey, welcome back!" Rick said. "I hope you enjoyed yourselves. I would have enjoyed this interview a lot more if I HAD GOTTEN MY CUP OF COFFEE!" In response, a mummified hand reached out while holding a steaming mug, and Rick gratefully took the mug. "Thank you."
Violet and Mike, as well as Charlie and Veruca, exchanged looks as Rick realized exactly who it was. It was none other than Imhotep.
With a primal scream, Rick fell backwards in his chair just before the screen went black, and Imhotep was roaring over Rick's screams.
"He must have sucked out that guy's soul, too," Violet said, nudging Mike with her elbow. "Hey, are you okay?"
"Yeah," Mike said in a rather breathy manner. "I'm...fine."
"It's over now," Violet reassured him as the vehicle slowly advanced forward into the real unloading station.
"That was amazing!" Charlie said to Veruca as their lap bars lifted up, and they promptly exited the ride vehicle, along with Mike, Violet, Augustus, and Mr. Wonka, who quickly donned his black top hat. "Did you enjoy it?"
"No more or less than that crazy boat ride during the tour," the British girl responded as everyone walked through the exit and into the ride's gift shop.
"Look, Mike!" Violet exclaimed upon noticing all the merchandise that was available. "How about we buy a T-shirt for each of us, so that we can say we survived Imhotep's curse?"
"Sure," Mike replied with a grin as he took Violet's hand. "Well, at least now I can say I actually did something here, so I guess that's something to celebrate. Now, let's buy them and catch up with the others."
Author's note: I hope you enjoyed this oneshot to tide you over while I'm working on the next chapter of "The Speedy Chocolatier Showdown". The title of the story is actually a sort of pun, with how Mike's last name sounds like "TV", and how there can be TV editions of various stories. As always, feel free to review, and stay tuned for more!
