4So… I was planning this. And then I found a page with Summer's birthday and stuff on it… then I realized those dates didn't fit with my ideas. And then I looked around the page and honestly the facts do seem quite random and wrong at places (for example it's put that Sandy's an only child when it's mentioned clearly in the nana that he has a sister and a brother) so I'm just going to go with my ideas.
It's my birthday on Friday. June the 28th. And I wanted to write a birthday- fic… I haven't started it writing this… will it be started? Ever? I hope so…
I had always liked my birthday when I was younger. The weather was almost always nice… well, living in California, June, and most of the year had nice weather. But it always showed the nicest day of the year.
I couldn't say I liked it anymore though. I hated it more likely. And it was like the whole world knew what I was feeling and acted with me. And when we came to June 28th in 2012 I mostly wanted to lie down in my bed and pull my quilt over my head.
But for some reason Seth had other plans. And I found myself sitting by the kitchen table at Kirsten, Sandy and Sophie Rose's where I sat with a paper sheet in front of me when I heard whistling of someone coming towards the kitchen.
"Wow! This must be the coldest summer day of this year. Of this century." Sandy spoke to himself before he saw me and jumped. "Oh. Hi Summer… What are you sitting here for?... Oh, happy birthday."
"Hey Mr. Cohen. Thanks… And I'm not sure."
"What did I tell you about calling me Mr?"
"Oh. I forgot again… Sandy and thanks and I'm not sure. Do you know why Seth has invited a whole lot of people to my birthday and why he for some reason wants us to be here where the place is big enough?"
"Not a clue. Seth is Seth, and you can bet he has a reason."
"I'd be happy with a movie night and a gift card… Twenty-four isn't something special like turning eighteen or twenty or twenty-five… I too know Seth has his reasons but…" I listened and heard the other people that had come at the other part of the ground floor. "…Seth told me to wait here but I can hear about how many people are here and… I just don't get it."
"I'm guessing he wanted to make it a surprise."
"He did but… every time I'm noticing he's lying I remind him of that he's promised never to lie again and I ruin it myself." Sandy shook his head with a smile. "What? If anyone should understand why I don't want him to lie again, it's you. Or have you forgotten about the letter? Because I for sure will never forget it."
"Me neither… What's up?" He sat down in the chair next to mine and laid a hand on my shoulder. "You should be happy. It's your birthday. You're young… What's this?" He looked down on a sheet of paper I had lying in front of me on the table. "Some sort of list… I won't read it unless you want me to."
"It's fine. When we were like five I and Marissa wrote this list together about what we would like for our birthdays until we were twenty-five. We decided on one thing we both wanted… When six we wanted a certain, expensive kind of barbie doll. At seven we wanted each bunny, but we never told anyone about the list so how on earth we were going to get those things I do now know. At eight we wanted a handbag that cost at least a hundred dollars… And so it goes until twenty five."
"Why twenty-five?"
"We couldn't count any higher than that."
Most of the things on the list weren't even worth mentioning.
"And we made it until eighteen and then…" I sniveled. "We had so many dreams after that… Sixteen we decided on a car. When seventeen we wanted a world globe- one of those plastic ones you know. And then we'd decide where on earth we would go after we turned eighteen and could do whatever we wanted."
I read through the list again from the beginning again.
"I didn't get a bunny at seven… I didn't have a bunny until I stole… got Pancakes. And Pancakes is old now. But I do have Pancakes' daughter Muffin, and Muffin's daughter Chocolate. And I'm honestly kind of happy I didn't get it at seven. If I did I'd probably have been bored of it by a week later or something…"
I sighed reading through the list once more- I didn't have to. I knew it since long letter by letter.
"What did you wish for this year? At twenty- four?"
"A dove!"
Sandy raised an eyebrow, I had to say I couldn't understand it neither. It wasn't like a dove was anything you should keep as pets. And after everything I had ended up an activist for animal rights.
"Don't look at me like that. I don't remember what on earth we had for reason." I sniveled again and ran my finger down from number eighteen and until today. "Now, for the last few years there has been only me. There are terrible people out there who gets to live to a hundred and more… But Marissa… well, you know."
Years had passed since the day Seth shot up sitting after half lying in my bed. His voice had turned loud and stressed and I could hear from the other side of the phone, Kirsten's voice.
"Marissa and Ryan are at the ER. We don't know how badly they're hurt."
"And now, next year will be the end of this list and it'll be over and done after every year that we thought we'd spend together. And it's like one after the other a part of her falls off and disappears. And maybe one day…"
"One day, maybe you'll know there won't be any day Marissa isn't with you." Sandy said in his usual, satisfying tone. "She won't. Because she'll be right here." He laid a hand on my head and then let go, lowered it and laid a hand over my heart. "And in here. Nothing can ever change that." I couldn't help it when the lump in my throat took over and I started sobbing. "Oh, Summer. Come here."
Sandy laid his arms around my shoulders and I leaned towards his chest- I was never so happy with being as short as I was as I was during these moments when someone, Sandy for example could just hold me like he did. Holding me as if he was everywhere and could make all bad go away.
"It's okay." He told me and it only made me sob more. "You're okay. Just try to breathe."
That was easier said than done. In the middle of it all I tried to keep quiet because I didn't want everyone else only a few meters away from us to hear us.
"Come on."
As if he heard what I was thinking he stood up and gently pulled me with him backing away out of the kitchen and up the stairs into his and Kirsten's bedroom.
"Now…" He wrapped his arms around me. "I just didn't want Seth or anyone to come running in on us. And if I'm guessing it right you need a bit of privacy." I nodded towards his shirt and cried even more, relieved that I didn't have to silent my sobs, hic- upped and then started coughing.
For a second I thought I'd throw up from the crying, badly because for some reason I couldn't get myself to move and I'd throw up right on Sandy's shirt. But with a deep breath and swallow I forced the heave down my throat and took another deep breath before I broke down again.
"There there. It's okay. You're okay."
How much can a young woman cry before she's run out of tears? It had been years since Marissa died and there were still moments like these that seemed to come out of nowhere.
"Ugh." When I at last could take a step back and wipe the tears I had lost count of how many minutes had passed by. "I got snot all over your shirt."
"It can be washed." He unbuttoned the top button "Summer?.. I know I can't do what you want the very most… But if there's anything at all I can do for you…" The door suddenly flew open. "What have I told you about knocking?" Seth was in the door and looked confused from me towards his dad who had unbuttoned another piece of his shirt.
"You do know this does look very… strange?"
"It's okay..." Sandy looked a bit back and forth. "But it does really. I thought I'd give Summer a birthday speech and I'd spilt coffee on my shirt. Summer was just about to leave when you stomped in. And as well, it's now June the 28th and I've finished all the work that has to be done at the school for me to have all summer holidays until a week before term starts again."
"You could have finished that a month and a half ago."
"I wanted a break before today. And two months is better than if I started it at the very last second and had to rush it. You could learn some from that son."
"Thank you." I mimed to Sandy, while he talked I had had the time to grab a tissue from a pack that stood on Kirsten's bedside table and wipe my face. "I'll be right there Seth." He held out his arm and I followed him down the stairs and to the living room.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
I had quite the feeling Seth had invited anyone and everyone I'd ever met. The living room was crowded!
"Wow… You're all here. And why… And… You're all here! It's just a regular Thursday and… you're all here and… is that cake?"
One table furthest into the room was covered with cakes, and another with wrapped gifts. And I wondered once again what was the reason for this.
"I hope everyone has a good time."
"Happy birthday Summer."
"Yeah happy birthday."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU…
Of course they'd start singing and Kirsten came carrying a chocolate cake with twenty four (!) candles on it. I sent Seth a glare before I held my hair back and blew all the candles out with one breath.
"Yay." Sophie Rose jumped where she stood. "All the candles. Make a wish."
The thought that struck me was just the wish that couldn't be granted…
"I give the wish to you Soph. You can wish for something."
"I wish it's my birthday too."
"Hmm…" I leaned closer to Seth when Sophie Rose walked up to Julie and Kaitlin. "Is that Che's figgy pudding?" Seth nodded. "Can't you… accidentally knock it off the table and down into the bin? Please. That thing is disgusting!"
"Hello there Summer Roberts." Suddenly Che was standing right by me and I silent, hoping he hadn't heard me. "It's been a while."
"Yeah. Yeah. Oh, thank you." He reached me a present and opening it I found a hat of the kind he would always wear himself. "Oh. I always wanted one of these."
"I made it myself."
"Here." Sophie Rose was my savior with one more wrapped, soft gift. "Open the one from me, then open the one from Seth." Seth had turned up behind her. "These are from both me and him." I unwrapped it and found a stuffed Swan and a jewelry box. Opening the box I was nervous so my heart was beating in my chest but still found a silver necklace with a swan pendant.
"How on earth could you even know?"
I had whispered it to myself. A swan was very well close enough to a swan and like always before not told anyone about my wish until I had told Sandy before.
"Know what?"
"Just… just that Taylor makes the best chocolate cakes ever but I never told her even though I planned to. So it's quite great she brought one this time too."
"YAY."
Sophie Rose was as usual excited, even so when Seth had to explain to Che how he had "accidentally" pushed his figgy pudding of the table.
I looked to Sandy who had come wearing a new shirt and first I wondered how or why I had just told him all about the list and what it was.
"I put the list in my desk drawer." He mumbled to me. "I'm guessing you didn't want it on the kitchen table for everyone to read."
"Thank you… look… I didn't even tell them about the list but they're close enough to the wish still."
"Wait Summer." I was just on my way to go to take a piece of cake Seth called for my attention. "EVERYONE. There's something I have to say. I… I just… it's important for everyone so that's why I invited so many and… Summer. If you." It was all quiet around me when Seth gently pulled me along to the middle of the room.
"What on earth are you doing Seth? Seth… I will never forgive you if you're breaking up with me now."
Where I got the idea of Seth ever breaking up with me I did not know.
"No, of course not. If I did want to do that I'd do it in private. And I won't… And… and… I remember I actually did this… what I'm about to do once before." Seth seemed nervous, I did have an idea about what he was about to do but I held my breath and didn't know if I dared to hope. "But that time turned out… like it did. Because we both knew there were things we… needed to think about and maybe prove before I did it again and then I would know if it was the right time. And… I know this is the right time. I'm not doing it because something's happened and I want to prove I'll be there because I know I will be…"
Seth coughed, I had to breathe out and in again when I got dizzy, then held my breath again.
"And I hope that you'll be there for me too. And that's why… I'm asking… it would be an honor for me if you…" He gave a nervous chuckle. "All I want to say… all I want to ask is…" Seth pulled up another jewelry box from his back pocket and sunk down on one knee. "Do you want to marry me?"
"Oh my Gosh. This is so cute."
I turned to Taylor. She turned bright red.
"I didn't mean to say that out loud."
People would probably laugh if it wasn't for the tension being thick enough to cut through with a knife- a butter knife.
Seth's hand was shaking where he held it up, he was almost as tall as me when standing on one knee, I took his hand and led him into standing up. Seth had turned pale as a sheet and I could see he was nervous beyond what words could ever tell to get an answer he didn't want.
"Yes." I said shakily at last and felt tears- happy tears this time. "Yes I'll be there… And YES I want to marry you. Yes, yes, yes. More than anything else I want to marry you."
A smile, bigger than ever before turned up on Seth's lips. Around us people were cheering and smiling and clapping their hands. But everything I saw and heard was Seth pulling the ring out of the box and then pushing it onto my ring finger.
"It's not the most expensive one or the biggest diamond. If you want another then I have the receipt and we can go to the store and look together and…"
I interrupted Seth without words and kissing him, hard. My heart beating faster time was standing still yet moving way too fast. And then looked down on the white- gold ring with three diamonds and shapes of flowers around them.
"It's the most beautiful ring I've ever seen."
"It looked like something you would like Summer Roberts."
I felt my smile growing even bigger if possible.
"I really don't like my last name! It's the most boring name ever! How about… Cohen?"
"Cohen?" Seth pretended to think and hesitate about it. "I don't think that sounds any good but… I'll go with it if I have to!" I couldn't help but laugh. "Summer Cohen… yeah that sounds okay."
"I'm so sorry." Taylor came rushing over to me. "I didn't mean to say that out loud so everyone heard it… So you heard it! I didn't even know I had said it out loud until you looked at me!" I could see Ryan smiling and shaking his head lovingly behind Taylor. "I don't know what got into me."
"Taylor!" I couldn't help but say. "Taylor got into you! With all her bad sides and the good ones… and you're my best friend and I love you no matter when or where you squeal whatever!"
I couldn't help but gasp when I heard what I said.
You're my best friend and I love you…
"It's okay." I woke up from my thoughts when Sandy pat my back and it was like he heard my thoughts exactly. "She'll never disappear. Remember?"
"Who?" Taylor asked eavesdropping. "Who'll never disappear? I?"
"Yeah. You."
Lying seemed like the best option right now. Until I could explain it, without all the hugging and well- wishing.
"I'm so happy for you two." Kirsten was the first after Taylor and Sandy and Ryan. "Here Soph." She lifted up the four-year-old on her hip so she was tall enough to hug her big brother. "I… I… Congratulations."
After everyone. Taylor, Ryan, Sandy, Kirsten, Sophie Rose, Julie, Kaitlin, Che…
"I've done so much hugging I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to lift my arms again." I wrapped my fingers around Seth's. And yet I couldn't help but to look around. "There's just one single person missing isn't it?"
"Yeah." Seth leaned his chin towards my head and blew in my hair. "I can feel it too."
"She is here though." I smiled slightly. "In here." I laid a hand on my hair as Sandy had before. "And in here. She'll never disappear for real…"
"You've talked to my dad haven't you?" I felt my eyes growing bigger- how on earth. "He told me the exactly same thing when grandma Rose died… Now…" He looked around on all people. "Shouldn't we get out of here and somewhere we can be… alone?"
"He does say a lot of wise things…" Seth rolled his eyes. "I know… But being alone with you doesn't sound so bad. And our house is only a few houses away from here so we can choose to be almost alone or all alone."
"All alone sounds better to me."
"Me too. And you know, the reason I asked everyone to come here was so we can be all alone." Seth smirked; I should have known that was the reason. And before I could say anything he took a step towards the door and looked around yet one more time. "Now, while no one's watching…"
I was on my way to just continue after him. Then remembered one more thing…
"Sandy?"
"Yes?"
"Don't you want to know what the wish for our twenty fifth birthday was?"
"Would you want to tell me?"
I smiled up on Seth, I had never actually told him about the list so he looked as if he didn't understand a thing. I'd have to tell him, but not right now with his hand holding tightly onto mine and the way his eyes made my heart melt.
"A husband."
Sandy laughed and shook his head. And I could see behind his greying hair "Five-year-old girls!" I couldn't help but laugh too.
"Happy birthday Summer." Sandy said once again at last. "Now I really think my son wants you to himself so let's not torture him anymore."
I did look up some wedding rings on google and I really liked the one with flowers. Then I realized I needed an engagement ring and not a wedding ring. And then I didn't know if there's a difference other then the moment. But I decided on that one anyway and if it has to change then I'll change it later. Picture will be up on Instagram "Linneagbfanfiction"
Random fact (I always leave at least one of these at the end of a chapter)
I hadn't even started it and then I just wrote it all at once. But now it's finished it's two in the morning and if I put it up now the dates when it's put up will start to show differently because of the time zones and it's kind of hard to explain. But I'll put it up in the morning and when it's up I hope you'll like it.
I hope you liked it.
