136Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its associated characters!
Summary: COMPLETE (new chapter up everyday - total of 29 chapters!). Some people are assholes. Some people are kind. It's when those are the same person that things get real confusing. Minor character death. A fic about grief, healing, and hope. Modern AU (office AU), Sasunaru/Narusasu.
A/N: Well...this is it! The big one. The last one! I really hope you all like it. Thank you so much for following along with me - and if you're reading this after it's all been posted, thank you too! I won't keep you all waiting any longer :)
Something Good
Chapter 29: Something Good
It made so much more sense, now.
Naruto shoved his keys into his pocket and quietly, quietly slid out the front door.
It all made so much more sense. Sasuke had been a fountain of excuses—flowing with doubt and hesitation—for this whole thing. They worked together, he was his boss, Naruto's head wasn't in the right place, Naruto was going to regret it, and yet—
At every opportunity, Sasuke had been willing. Willing to humiliate himself, willing to take care of Naruto, willing to kiss him, willing to touch him—
For someone with so many reservations, he'd done a real shitty job of showing them. And it made so much sense now—Sasuke's hesitations weren't about him at all. They were about Naruto. Even the regret—
(Before we do something we both regret.)
—he'd said "we", but what he'd really meant was "you". Because he thought this was temporary. He'd thought Naruto's feelings were just...
(Never needed one before.)
Just a distraction.
(Won't need one soon.)
That's all Sasuke thought he was.
(M'just...convenient.)
So.
Naruto tapped his fingers along the roof of his car and glanced down the street.
What was the best way to prove an asshole wrong?
Sasuke awoke to the sun high in the sky, a bit of a headache, and a post-it note stuck to his phone—next to a glass of water and some painkillers.
'Don't leave before I'm back! (I know where you live, asshole)'
And as the signature, nothing more than a stupid messy little heart.
Sasuke collapsed back against the bed with his arm over his eyes.
It was the stupidest little note—but Sasuke still had that stupid little note from breakfast tucked in his notebook, and if he had that notebook here, he knew he'd slip this one in right beside it—
"God," he breathed out, frustrated.
Barely awake, and his heart was beating out of his chest.
What a helpless, hopeless feeling. What a stupid, desperate yearning. He'd collapsed under the weight of this brainless affection years ago, but he hadn't realized how far buried he was until...
Until Naruto had been himself again. Until Sasuke had realized just how much relief he felt when that smile came back, genuine and happy and barely faltering at all (and on him, because of him, there was no, no, no better feeling)—until Naruto had let him see a part of himself that no one else could see, and until Sasuke had done the same, over and over and over again—
Naruto had taken the knot that was Sasuke's heart and gently untied it piece by piece.
And here he was: a loose, pathetic pile of thread.
Sasuke let out a long, long breath.
And maybe—maybe—there was a small part of Naruto which reciprocated, but it was small, and it was temporary. Naruto was brilliant and beautiful and Sasuke was just…
Hoping again. Damn it all, he was hoping again—one look, one smile, one afternoon planting flowers and one messy little heart on a fucking post-it note and Sasuke's head was in a fog—steeped in blurry, scattered thoughts, telling him that Naruto wouldn't bring just anyone to his parents' grave, that he wouldn't tell just anyone he was falling in love with them, that he wouldn't take just anyone by the lips and into his bed and all of that meant that Sasuke wasn't just anyone and two nights ago that had seemed impossible but Sasuke was finding it harder and harder to remind himself why—
Click.
Sasuke's eyes sprang open.
Naruto shut the door behind him.
He'd taken a little longer than intended (he was a man on a mission, but even the most important mission had had to be paused when Ino had answered Sakura's door), but hopefully Sasuke would still be asleep. He was a bit too nervous to get his head in order yet, and he really wanted to be able to—
"Oh," Naruto said, blinking at the half-naked Sasuke who had—from the looks of things—woken up and hastily pulled on last night's pants in the same minute, "hi."
Sasuke stared at Naruto's hand.
"It's another day," Naruto said quickly, holding a hand in between them as Sasuke's eyes went wide. "You—you promised you'd listen. Remember? You promised."
Sasuke's mouth closed.
Naruto, with his heart drilling a hole through his chest, slowly moved to hold the bouquet of white lilies out to him.
"Naruto," Sasuke said, taking a step back, staring at it with some mix of conflict and fear in his eyes—
"You don't have to take it," Naruto told him. "I don't—if you want to reject me, fine. If you don't feel the same, fine. But you've gotta hear me out this time. Just at least hear me out. Just—please?"
Naruto met Sasuke's still-wide eyes.
"I know what I want, Sasuke. I took the time to think about it. I've been thinking about it every day since we—listen. You think I'm going to—you told me—last night, you told me—that this was—was just convenient. But I—"
"I serve a very specific purpose, Naruto."
"Yeah," Naruto said, taking a step forwards, "distraction. Right? That's the real reason. That's what you said."
He waited for Sasuke's short, stiff nod before he continued.
"Did you ever stop and think why you were such a good distraction? For me?" Naruto asked, searching Sasuke's eyes— "Because I focus on you. I pay attention to you. I'm distracted as fuck the second you walk in—that's not new, Sasuke. It's always been like that. And that was before you even let me get to know you, and now? Now—look at me, Sasuke—"
Naruto waved his arms out to his sides in a halfway shrug—
"Look at your incentives—what's the one thing that's been able to make me happy this whole fucking time? Knowing you. It's my favourite fucking thing. I love knowing you—every time I've learn something, I want to know more and more and—haven't you noticed that?"
The conflict in Sasuke's eyes didn't waver.
"That doesn't mean this isn't a bad decision, Naruto. You're—you're confusing interest with gratitude—"
"Gratitude?" Naruto let out a laugh. "Gratitude doesn't make me wanna suck dick, Sasuke."
Sasuke flushed, but held strong.
"Gratitude with physical attraction, then. It doesn't mean—"
"Oh, what," Naruto said, shaking his head, "so you mean like I like you physically and I like you emotionally? Huh, I wonder what that sounds like—"
"Naruto."
There was no trace of humour on Sasuke's face.
"Sasuke," Naruto responded in kind. "You want to know what you do?"
He took another step forward. (Sasuke didn't move away.)
"You make me happy. You make me feel like everything will be okay. Everything. No matter what the fuck is going on—you make me feel like I can do this. You know when I said some people just feel like home? You do. You feel like home, Sasuke. You know how rare it is to find someone who makes me feel the way you do?"
Sasuke didn't reply, but his eyes flickered between Naruto's—
"And I think—I think you're scared of caring about someone—and losing that person again." Naruto nodded. "I am too. But it's already too late, isn't it?"
Naruto ran a hand through his hair.
"I'm already—you didn't believe me, but I'm really—I'm really falling for you. I can't stop it. It's too late, Sasuke—I lost someone that I loved, and I'm falling in love with someone I don't want to lose. Is it so crazy that I don't want to lose you already? Is it so crazy that I want to at least have you in my life first?"
Sasuke sucked in a breath, and Naruto could hear how it shuddered—
"Aren't you the one who said we'll hurt no matter what? So we might as well get whatever good things we can find?" Naruto continued—more insistent, now, because Sasuke's eyes were clearing—opening, again, the way Naruto loved to see them— "I think you're that something—that something good, Sasuke."
Sasuke let the breath go.
Naruto held the flowers out to him again.
"So…?"
He saw it—in the way Sasuke's shoulders fell, the slight twitch of his lips and the lean of his head—as Sasuke sagged in resignation.
"Flowers?"
Naruto ducked his head, shooting Sasuke a sheepish, nervous smile.
"Jiraiya said, uh, flowers solved everything. And I know they don't actually but I—" Naruto pointed the bouquet right at Sasuke, "I know he would have told me to go for this. For you."
Sasuke gently shook his head, a soft, disbelieving smile playing at his lips.
"I thought he gave you terrible advice?"
Naruto laughed and ducked down a little again, shuffling his feet.
"Not all of it was that bad…"
Sasuke moved closer.
"For the record," Sasuke said, "this is exactly what I meant."
Naruto blinked, and Sasuke—
"Relentless."
—kissed him. And then he kissed him again, and again, and again and again and again and with every kiss, his smile grew until Naruto was laughing against his lips—
"Wait," he laughed, digging in his pocket, "wait, wait, wait, I've got—"
Sasuke pulled the lilies to himself the same time Naruto flicked the small piece of plastic between his fingers—
Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.
"A USB key?" he asked.
"Yeah," Naruto breathed, beaming, "one to fifty-four."
A/N: And there it is! The fic is complete. No sequels in the future but I do have some extra tidbits on my tumblr if you'd like to know what happens next. Let me know what you thought, and thank you all for joining me on this weird emotional rollercoaster!
Until next time,
- Kinomi
