In a time long ago, there was a kingdom called Gallowmere, a land where the people were happy, war was unknown, and children were polite and helpful at all times, and not just when mooching for chocolate.

The monarch of the realm, King Peregrine, was wise and just and, all in all, a bit of a decent chap — fond of philosophy, literature, and pictures of kittens in bonnets, he was an enlightened ruler.

But he had among his retinue is an official court magician, a brilliant but unscrupulous man by the name of Zarok.

Instead of confining himself to the horoscopes and balloon animals for which he was employed, Zarok began to conduct horrific experiments on the bodies of the dead.

Of course, people often get quite sensitive about their deceased loved ones, so it was not long before the King found out and had the sorcerer banished from the land.

Zarok skulked away into the wilderness and busied himself by perfecting his experiments, seething with rage, and practicing his diabolically evil laugh.

At last, an army of demons at his command, he set off to bring Gallowmere under his foul domination.

The captain of the royal guard, Sir Daniel Fortesque, led the militia into battle against the unholy horde.

Songs are sung to this day of how he spearheaded the charge deep into the accursed multitude.

How the invaders fell before him like wheat before the scythe, and how at last, though mortally wounded, he fell upon the infernal sorcerer and destroyed him utterly.

True, these songs do not have practically catchy choruses, but people cared less about chart success in those days.

And so it was that Daniel Fortesque went down in history the Hero of Gallowmere!

And there came upon the land, a time of peace, harmony, and qualities wines at affordable prices.

The tranquility was to last for 100 years, but then, the sorcerer returned…