Chapter five

The nothing day

It was going to be a "stay in bed" day.

Elsa knew that from the moment she opened her eyes. Around the corners of her blinds, pinpricks of light poked through. She rolled onto her other side and drew the covers closer. She didn't bother checking her watch, but she was sure it would've shown a four-digit number.

She reached over to the bedside table, feeling around for the familiar shape of her phone. She finally grabbed it and yanked it free of its cord. It was at the lowest brightness setting, but Elsa still winced as the screen flashed on.

I'll have to go to the welfare site today, she realized. But that was okay. She had discovered that she could reach over and grab her laptop without actually getting out of bed. She didn't feel the need to do it yet, her phone was suiting her just fine for now, but she would eventually.

A quiet day. A peaceful day. A nothing day.

Whump

She heard the soft noise as something jumped onto her bed, and she felt the mattress shift.

"Play with me," Anna said.

"W…what?" Elsa mumbled.

"Play with me," Anna repeated. "Please."

Elsa rolled over. "Not now, Anna," she said. "It's too early."

"No it's not," the cat countered. "The sun's already really high in the sky!"

Elsa didn't bother checking; she was probably right.

"I thought cats liked to sit around and do nothing all day," she muttered.

"Sometimes, yeah," Anna conceded. "But nobody can just sit around and do nothing forever!"

The double negative challenged what little processing power Elsa's half-asleep brain could muster. "Well, I can," she said. With that, she rolled into her belly and put a pillow over her head, hoping the matter was settled.

Anna jumped onto the bed, climbed on top of Elsa, and started kneading her back. "Play with meeeeeeeeee," she whined.

"All right, fine!" Elsa shouted. She turned around and tried to swat Anna with the pillow, but she jumped out of the way in time. "Go grab that fishing pole thing from the box," Elsa said, pointing towards the living room, where the box, still full, sat.

Anna tilted her head. "Fishing pole?"

Elsa sighed. "The yellow stick, with the string and feathers on it."

"What does that have to do with fish?"

"It's…it's not important, okay?" Elsa said. "Just get it."

Anna nodded, then happily trotted away. Elsa rubbed her temples, sighing deeply.

I swear, this cat is going to be the death of me.

xxxxxxx

Anna jumped. The feather leapt away from her. She jumped again. Once more, it eluded her.

Elsa lay on the bed, vaguely registering her cat's movements out of the corner of her eye. She waved the feathered toy with her left hand, her sweeping movements like a conductor waving a baton. Her right hand, eyes, and the lion's share of her attention were fixed on her phone.

Anna looked up at her. "Are you texting someone again?"

"Nope," Elsa said, not shifting her attention. "I'm browsing my news feed."

Once again, Anna was confused. "Feed? It feeds you?"

"You ask a lot of questions, don't you," Elsa replied.

"Yes, I do," Anna answered, clearly not understanding the rhetorical nature of Elsa's question.

"Well, yes, it is called a feed. But it feeds your eyes, not your mouth. All you have to do is keep scrolling, and a constant stream of news rolls in. Some politician lied – as per fucking usual. Two countries in the Middle East disagree on which side you should butter your bread or something. One sports team beat another sports team."

She kept waving the toy around, but Anna seemed to have lost interest in it. "You care about all of those things?"

"I didn't say that."

"Well, if you don't care, why do you feed yourself all that news?"

Elsa looked up from her phone. "What are you," she said irritably, "a psychiatrist or something?" Anna opened her mouth. "Don't answer that."

"Okay," Anna said. She sounded confused and dejected at the same time. Elsa felt a pang of guilt in her chest.

Way to go, Elsa. Once again, you've managed to hurt her feelings without her having a clue why. You seem to be very good at doing that. It must come from practice.

Elsa shook her head, trying to shut the voice up. She looked around the room, trying to find something else to think about. Of course, Anna was basically the only interesting thing in the room, so she just ended up looking back at her, seeing her clearly for the first time that morning.

Her hair was sticking out in various directions, and her outfit was rumpled. Obviously, that part wasn't real, but Elsa picked up on the significance of it.

"Geez, Anna, how'd your fur get all messed up like that?"

Anna shrugged. "I don't know. It just kind of…happens, I guess."

"Would you like me to brush your hair?" Elsa asked, seeing a chance at redemption.

Anna's eyes widened immediately. "Yes!" she shouted, jumping up and down. "I'd love it, love it, love it!"

"All right, then bring me one of the brushes."

Anna stopped jumping. "Those brushes are too heavy for me to carry, Elsa," she said.

"What, really?"

Anna nodded.

It wasn't too unreasonable a claim. They were both good brushes, with wooden handles, and would be a lot harder for a cat to carry in its mouth than a small plastic rod. On the other hand, that meant that she'd have to get out of bed. And walk all the way over to the living room.

For a moment, she seriously considered telling Anna to forget about it. But Anna was staring right at her with those big, round eyes. And she'd been so excited…

She sighed. "Fine," she said, throwing back the covers. "I'll go get it."

Anna thanked her profusely as she made her way to the living room. As she did, however, the voice returned, unbidden.

Living room, you call it? Well, that's not really true at all. That room behind you, with the bed and the computer – that's your living room, isn't it?

She tried to ignore the voice. She failed.

'I'd love it,' she said. Real passionately, too. When was the last time you cared about anything enough to say that you 'loved' it?

She picked up the brush, then turned to make the long journey back to the bed. Anna, however, had followed her out of the bedroom.

"I'll brush you on the couch, okay?" Elsa said.

"Okay!" Anna responded.

The voice seemed to have said its piece – for now, anyway – and was silent. Which was good, because she couldn't think of an answer to it.

I much prefer Anna's questions.

xxxxxxx

This isn't weird, Elsa thought to herself. This is in no way weird.

Anna was in her lap, eyes closed and looking very content. Well, her head was in her lap, anyway, but Elsa figured that this meant, in reality, that the cat was fully in her lap.

Slowly, Elsa drew the brush through her hair in long, identical strokes. Anna wasn't saying anything, which left Elsa free to listen to her own heartbeat, thundering at a million beats per minute and apparently sending 90% of her blood straight to her face.

The purring was the worst part of it. Obviously, cats purred when they were happy, but seeing a very human face in her lap, feeling her body heat, and knowing she was the source of the vibrations made Elsa feel just a bit…flustered. The fact that she hadn't yet put pants on did not help the situation.

She tried to push the naughty thoughts from her mind. It's not weird, I'm just overthinking it, she told herself. Even if she was a human, it wouldn't be weird. Girls brush each other's hair all the time, it doesn't mean anything.

Then Anna started kneading Elsa's thigh with her hands.

Okay, now it's weird.

Her heart, which had already been beating fast, now accelerated even further. Her hands started trembling, to the point that she was sure Anna would notice.

This was very much not normal, especially for her. Only one girl had ever touched her in that manner before, and she was-

ELSA VANDERIJST, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

Elsa froze. All the warmth in her cheeks drained away in an instant, and her breath caught in her throat.

It wasn't her voice this time. It was his.

Anna, noticing that she had stopped brushing, looked up at her. "Are you okay, Elsa?" she asked worriedly.

Elsa shook her head clear. "Yes, I am. Just…just…give me a few seconds, okay?"

"Okay," Anna said. "One Mississippi, two Mississippi-"

"Not literally," Elsa said as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

This interjection from Anna, in addition to somewhat deflating the tension in the room, helped bring a few things into sharp relief.

What am I doing? I'm literally getting aroused by my cat, that's what I'm doing. Even if she was a human, she still has a childlike – no, an infantile mind!

What had Kristoff had said about her situation? Some people would consider it a dream come true?

Well, this isn't a hentai doujinshi, this is my fucking life, and if I'm at the point where my cat is seriously turning me on, I must be in an even worse situation than he-

Ding

The sound of the text made them both jump. Literally, in Anna's case – she shot out of Elsa's lap and landed on the floor. Elsa felt a sharp pain in her leg, and looked down to see a long scratch on her thigh. She glared at Anna.

"Sorry," Anna said. "I got scared."

Well, maybe that'll put a damper on your desire to screw her, at least, her voice sneered.

She ignored it, and looked at her phone.

Hi, Elsa, it's mom again. Sorry to bother you, but could you please send me a few pictures of Anna? For the scrapbook, of course.

"You don't have to tell me it's you every time, mom," Elsa muttered. "I know your phone number."

Of course she wanted pictures. That woman often seemed to do nothing but scrapbook in her free time. But there was no harm in indulging her. It might help take her mind off…whatever had just been going on.

She closed the text. "Hey, Anna," she said. "Do you want to take some pictures for my mom?"

"Sure!" Anna said enthusiastically. "That sounds like fun!"

"All right," Elsa said. She stood up. "Let's go to the living room. If she sees my bed in the photos, she'll tell me to make it, and I don't need to have that argument again."

"Okay," Anna said, clearly not understanding but following along regardless.

In the living room, Elsa motioned for her to jump up onto the sofa.

"Okay," she said, pointing her phone at the cat. "For this first picture, just…I don't know, act normal. Neutral expression."

Anna thought for a moment. "Okay," she said.

She plopped down onto the couch and sat there, totally rigid, with her eyes pointed straight ahead, and her mouth a perfectly flat line.

Elsa snickered. "Sure, that works, I guess." She snapped the picture. "Okay, for this next one, maybe relax a bit."

Immediately, Anna rolled over so that she was lying flat on her back. Her arms and legs splayed out to either side of her, and her head lolled. A strand of drool fell out of the corner of her mouth.

Elsa giggled as she took the picture. "Perfect," she said. "Next, I guess, just look happy."

Anna spun around again, leaping to her feet. Her eyes opened wide, and she sprouted a massive grin, mouth open so wide it looked like her upper jaw had come unhinged.

Elsa was unable to contain herself anymore, and she broke out into laughter. "Knock it off," she said breathlessly. "You're killing me!"

Anna's cheesy smile faded, and she tilted her head. "Is that…a good thing?"

"Yes," Elsa said. "I'll explain later. For this next pic…just go nuts."

Anna obliged. She started running around in circles, reaching her limbs out in random directions and just generally spazzing out.

Elsa had to take two pictures that time, as her hands were shaking too hard from laughter the first time. "Okay, now do the 'nyah' thing."

Anna stopped her impression of a lunatic instantly. "What's nyah?"

Elsa demonstrated.

"Oh. Nyah!" Anna said.

"Beautiful," Elsa said. She thought for a moment. "Hmm, she'll probably want some with me in them." She flipped the camera around, thinking of what to do.

Hmm, I don't think I could keep a straight face in these pictures, after all that. But if I give her a big smile, I know that pic's gonna end up on all the Christmas cards.

She settled for a smirk, but as she snapped picture after picture, she found it harder and harder to resist cracking some silly faces, especially with the goofball behind her. By the time she took the last picture – number twenty-something – she was giggling almost incessantly.

"Okay, I think that's enough," Elsa said as she sent the pictures to her mother. "Great job, Anna."

"Thanks!" Anna said. "You know, you have a really nice laugh."

Elsa chuckled. "Don't get used to it," she said. "It doesn't come out often."

Thanks, Elsa, these are great! her mom wrote. Love you bunches!

You're welcome, Elsa responded.

Okay, so that was fun, she thought. Way more fun than I thought it would be. I haven't had that much fun since…

Her smile faded. Since her. There were a lot of things she hadn't felt since…her.

Fuck, I really need a new girlfriend.