29I have been wanting to write a Anne Of Green Gables fic for a really long time- it was the series that originally got me hooked to fanfiction to begin with! It was always a matter of time before I wrote one, and I am so glad that I have finally got around to it. This story takes place at the end of Anne of the Island and is just a little change of story. I hope you enjoy, and I apologize if its confusing- hopefully the next chapter we'll be clearer. (Also this is based on the books, not the show/movie)
Gil scanned the ballroom anxiously. He was leaning against the curtained wall, holding a glass of punch, glancing towards the large double doors every few seconds. If you were to ask him whom he was looking for, he wouldn't have been able to answer. Simply because he didn't even realize he was looking in the first place. It had been this way to Gilbert for quite sometime- always waiting to see her face, always searching for her eyes and her smile and her bright red hair. If Gil was a star, than Anne was his moon and if he was the moon than she was his sun. She had always been the step head- the brighter luminary, the gold at the end of the rainbow. Always completely and devastatingly unattainable.
He knew it since the moment the slate was ruthlessly shattered on his head, and was reassured each and every time he was turned down or refused. He would forever love her, and she would never love him. That was the way it was, and- despite every wish on every clover, or dandelion, or northern star- it was the way it would always be.
He sighed and ran his fingers through his ruly brown hair. He didn't know why he had bothered to come. There was nothing here for him. Not in this dimly lit ballroom, nor in the school itself. He was now 22, a young doctor with a promising life ahead, and he couldn't let go. Couldn't leave behind the schoolboy dreams and desires that offered empty promises and tainted fantasies. To him, the unrequited love that had captured his heart since his boyhood days, would forever be his curse. He would never grow old with someone, he would never spend long nights in a warmly lit parlor, holding the love of his life, talking of philosophy or beautiful memories. He would never raise a family, watch his little children grow to be adults and continue the circle of life. No, these blessing were all completely out of reach in Gilbert's eyes and in this dull moment in time, they would forever be just a dream. He knew, he knew it in the depths of his lonely heart, that he would stay waiting for her until his last breathe was drawn and he laid down for the last time. There was no girl to Gilbert Blythe other than Anne Shirley, and a world without her was a world without purpose.
Just across the ballroom and behind the double french doors, stood the subject of Gilbert's painful revelations. She stood with her eyes shut and her face uncommonly still. Her hand was twisted in the pale yellow silk over her dress, the other clinging to Roy's elbow. She had been looking forward to this day for several months now; it was written in every calendar, and scribbled in every journal. Years and years of loneliness and imagination had led up to this very moment- this very night. And yet, she felt an overwhelming wave of dread coursing through her body, multiplying with each of Roy's touches and fervent glances. She didn't know why- for the life of her she didn't know what had changed within the last week or two, despite Phil's exaggerated eyebrow raises each time she mentioned her feelings towards Roy. She knew what Phil thought but Anne had merely laughed at the absurd suggestion and told Phil it wasn't possible. Gilbert Blythe was Anne's friend. Sure, he had felt a certain way some time ago, but Anne didn't feel like that, and besides Gilbert was dating someone now and she had heard he was very happy. So why did she feel that twisting anger in her gut whenever his girlfriend was mentioned? Why, on those lazy afternoons, do the memories they had fondly shared continue to play over and over in her mind? And for goodness sake, why does her heart pound erratically when she sees that head-full of chestnut hair? She loved Roy, he was her prince in shining armor, the man she had always dreamed of- and now he was proposing! She should be overfilled with joy, she should feel happy and ecstatic and eager to begin a life of joy with Roy. I am happy she reassured herself I'm just tired. With that, she smiled as best she could, and opened the doors.
Gilbert tried not to look at the beckoning doors. He tried to ignore the beating of his heart ringing in his ears; ignore the thrill that rushed through his body; ignore the overwhelming desire to look at her. He shut his eyes and breathed though his nose. She's deeply in love He warned himself And he's here too. She doesn't love you- she loves him. She doesn't want you- she wants him. Don't look at her, don't smile at her, and God forbid, don't touch her. It was depressing, it really was- a beautiful friendship torn to pieces because of harsh reality, but both Gil and Anne were used to it. Used to the stubborn ache in their heart, used to the unrestrainable flood of memories that often poured out from their severed hearts like water leaking from a pipe. To them the love- or lack of love- they had for each other was etched into their minds and thoughts with permanent marker, final and definite. In their eyes, there was no changing what had been, and there was no changing what was yet to be. And despite the doubt that Anne had previously felt, she knew what was going to happen next and she was prepared for it. Maybe life was destined to be this way and maybe true love wasn't as special as it was made out to be. But when she would close her eyes that night, waiting for exhaustion to take its course, it wouldn't be Roy she would see. And although she may wake up surprised by the dreams she dreamt- there was truth behind them, truth and a desire that flickered like a low flame in the depths of her determined, changeless heart.
