130A little one-shot I felt like writing. I gave up on NCIS a long time ago, but after seeing things about Ziva possibly being alive, I caught up in with what I hadn't seen, and fell in love with Jack Sloane. She is awesome.
Hope you like, let me know what you think. This is set up after 16x13.
"When a daughter keeps a secret like that, a father has to ask himself why." Vance's words to him, keep replaying in Gibbs's head, over and over again, ever since the director said them.
Gibbs always knew that Ziva, his Ziver, kept secrets it was a part of her that she couldn't turn not, even after everything she has been through; it was another piece of her that Eli still controlled, but knowing that she kept a place, all these thoughts that are in the notebooks around him, hurts, in a lot of ways, as he wishes she could have come to him.
Even though his daughter is alive, and he's known that for a while, Gibbs meant what he said to Bishop. Every time he looks at Ziva's desk he thinks about her not being there, he thinks about how she is alone, somewhere in the world, trying to protect her family, which includes him, and she won't let him help.
He may have gotten really good at hiding it, but Gibbs spends his days worrying about Ziva, worrying if she is okay, or if she is gonna get an emergency call from her or Tony.
As well as being surrounded by notebooks Gibbs still has one another thing in front of him, a picture, a picture of him and Ziva, taken by Abby, from shortly after Ziva became an official NCIS agent. In the photo Gibbs has his arm around Ziva and is kissing her cheek, as Ziva smiles, a smile she never has on her face as much as she should.
Looking at the photo Gibbs is so distracted by the memories of the times where he saw Ziva truly happy, times that were few and fair between, that he doesn't even realizes there is a knock on his door, not until it gets faster.
As Bishop has already been to see him, and he saw his Ziver a few hours earlier before she had to disappear again, Gibbs can't help but wonder who it is, but as he gets to the door he finds himself glad to see Jack Sloane on the other side.
"Jack, what are you doing here?" Gibbs asks as he lets her into his house.
"Torres filled me in on what I missed when I was at the hospital, I thought I'd come by." Jack says, as she and Gibbs walk into the living room, and once they are there Jack sees all the notebooks, and the photo that is still in Gibbs's hand, "Gibbs…." Jack starts to say, her voice gentle like it is so often when they talk.
"Don't Jack… just don't." Gibbs says as he walks back over to the couch, though knowing Jack as well as he does Gibbs is pretty sure that a 'don't' won't do much.
"You know, I heard some of the stories. Ziva seemed like an amazing woman." Jack comments, as she walks over to the couch as well, sitting down on the side part of the couch, across from Gibbs.
"Beyond amazing." Gibbs corrects, "You'd like her."
"Seems like it." Jack says as she reaches over and gently picks up the picture that Gibbs carefully put on the pile of notebooks, "You two were close." Jack comments, it being a statement and not a question, and as he knows how much information Jack can get from a little Gibbs feels like it is better not to say anything right now, "She was a daughter to you." Jack realizes, as she watches Gibbs closely, "Gibbs?"
"Yeah." Gibbs confirms, "Ziver… Ziva had one blow after another. When she came to NCIS she was just a kid and just had to do something that only I knew." Gibbs admits.
"You looked after her." Jack comments, and as she does Gibbs laughs.
"You don't look after Ziva. You just be there for her, and hope she let you" Gibbs explains, pain in his voice.
"I don't know, that sounds a lot like looking after someone to me." Jack comments, "What would you tell her if you could?" Jack asks, and as she does Gibbs thinks of what he tells Ziva every time he sees her, what he told her a few hours ago.
"That I'm proud." Gibbs answers, "I'd tell her that she doesn't have to do everything alone, that she has a family, and we'd help her if she just let us." Gibbs admits, and as he does his voice breaks slightly, as while he has told Ziva that, telling it to someone else seems different, and seeing how hard this is for Gibbs Jack reaches over and takes his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I'm sorry." Jack says, before letting go of Gibbs's hand.
"Ziva's father was a bastard, he left her to die in a hellhole for months." Gibbs says, and as she knows how rare it is for Gibbs to open up Jack doesn't say anything, "Then when we rescued her, he tried to frame her for murder." Gibbs reveals, it feeling easier to talk about older memories of Ziva so he doesn't accidently give away any newer ones, and hearing what Gibbs said Jack feels herself becoming furious on Ziva's behalf, "She deserved so much better than him."
"So you tried to be the better father she deserved." Jack says, understanding why she has never heard Gibbs mention Ziva's name before now, it's too painful for him.
"I taught her to play baseball." Gibbs reveals, a slight fond smile on his face, as no one ever knew that, as Tony and McGee thought Ziva meant Eli when she said her father taught her, but she didn't, "Eli David taught her to kill, but not to be a kid." Gibbs reveals, "I never understood how he could do that." Gibbs says, as he takes a drink of the bourbon he poured after Ellie left, "I wanted to give her what she never had."
"Sounds like you did." Jack says as she gets up and walks over to Gibbs, who she sits down next to, "There's a lot of books here." Jack notes, "Did you read them?"
"Only what I had to." Gibbs admits, "I'm keeping them though." Gibbs reveals, as with something so personal to Ziva he cannot destroy them.
"That's your choice." Jack comments, "But I think you should read them." Jack says and as she does Gibbs looks at her, "Gibbs, you never knew about these, so reading them, knowing what she couldn't tell you, could answer questions you didn't even know you had, maybe even give you a chance to be close to her again." Jack says, and as she does, she picks up one of the books, and not sure if she is crossing a line, she opens to the front page and starts to read out loud, "He came for me, Gibbs, he came to save me. Eli wouldn't even answer my call, but Gibbs was on the first plane back. He saved me. I'm an investigator now, because of him…." Jack reads and as she does Gibbs takes the book out of her hands, "When was this?" Jack asks curious.
"Twelve years ago." Gibbs answers, looking at the page, and due to the way, his eyes are moving Jack knows that he is reading his daughter's words, and so she gives his knees a gentle squeeze before standing up, but before she can walk away Gibbs has grabbed her hand, "Stay." Gibbs requests, as he isn't sure he can handle reading these alone, and right now there is no one he wants by his side more than Jack, no one else he trusts to be.
"Okay." Jack says, sitting back down next to Gibbs.
"He says he's not saying, and I am not sure what to think…." Gibbs reads, reading his daughters words, as Jack puts a comforting hand on his leg, as Gibbs gets to know things about his daughter that she never told him while Jack learns about a person she would have very much liked to meet.
