313
All Fall Down
Three weeks after the funeral…
Jude sat in her swivel chair in front of the soundboard, listening to the track she just got done laying out. The violin composition was what got to her the most. She was glad that she knew someone who played violin so she wouldn't had to have brought in some outsider who didn't understand her views. Thank God that Shawn was multi-talented. The track ended and Jude looked at the time on her cell. I can listen to it one more time before Sadie comes and picks me up for my doctor's appointment. Jude leaned over and pushed the button to restart the song. The melody of the guitar started and then after a few moments the violin started and gave her chills along her spine.
Tommy walked through G-Major, hoping to not run into Darius. He had come on the behalf of Sadie. She had to take Jude to her doctor's appointment but had got caught up in a last-minute PR emergency. Jamie would have been second choice but he had the same emergency as Sadie. Kwest would've been third but he was in the middle of a session. So Sadie turned to Tommy as a last resort. Tommy took the chance and drove over to G-Major in hopes that Jude would accept him. He walked to her usual studio and listened to the guitar grooves come out of the doorway. He took a few minutes to stand in the entryway and listen. A violin started to play and a string of chills ran up his spine. Violin? He never knew Jude to be a classical strings person, but the violin fit the song beautifully.
Step out the door and it feels like rain
That's the sound (that's the sound) on your window pane
Take to the streets but you can't ignore
That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for
You feel that your will starts crashing down
Whenever you're will starts crashing down
Whenever your will starts crashing down
That's when you find me.
Yeah God love your soul and your aching bones
Take a breath, take a step, maybe down below
Everyone's the same
My fingers to my toes
We just can't get a ride
But we're on the road
If ever your will starts crashing down
Whenever your will starts crashing down
Whenever your will starts crashing down
That's when you find me.
Chorus:
(Yeah) Lost til you're found
Swim til you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love til you hate
Jump til you break
Know that we all fall down
If ever your will starts crashing down
Whenever your will starts crashing down
If ever your will starts crashing down
That's when you'll find (find) me
Lost til you're found
Swim til you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love til you hate
Jump til you break
Know that we all fall down
All fall down, we all fall down, all fall down
We all fall down, all fall down, all fall down
Lost til you're found
Swim til you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love til you hate
Jump til you break
Know that we all fall down
"Wow. That song was amazing." Tommy said softly, walking into the studio. Jude swiftly turned around in her chair and stared at him in surprise.
"Tommy, what are you doing here?" she asked, looking away and prepared to shut down the soundboard.
"Uh, Sadie couldn't make it. There was a last minute PR Emergency and Andrews had to be there as well, and Kwest is in the middle of a session. So that's why I'm here. But unless you don't want me here, I'll leave." He said, slowly walking toward her.
"No. You can take me. Just let me finish up here and grab my stuff." She said softly, while pushing buttons. Tommy sat on the couch and patiently waited. When Jude got out of the chair, she went to the couch and retrieved her bag and sweater. "Okay, ready?"
"Whenever you are." He stated, standing up from the couch. Jude followed him out of the studio and to the parking lot where his hummer was waiting. Tommy opened the door for her and helped her in before getting in on the driver's side. He buckled his seatbelt and looked at Jude. "So, where is your doctor's office?"
"Oh, it's across the street from Toronto General." She replied softly, looking out the window. Tommy turned out of the parking lot and headed towards the hospital. The awkward silence in the car was getting to Tommy. He turned on the radio but kept the volume low.
"So, what gave you the idea to use violin in your song?" he asked, glancing at her. Jude was silent for a few moments before answering his question.
"It was Miles' idea. We had a strong partnership with music. Ever since we had gotten together, I would write the lyrics and he would do the music. When I wrote All Fall Down, Miles said that violin would sound perfect for it…" She trailed off. They were quiet for the remainder of the car ride. Tommy pulled into the office building parking lot and put the hummer in neutral. Jude undid her seatbelt and opened the door. After hopping out of the vehicle, she turned to Tommy who was still sitting in the driver's seat. "Well, are you coming or not?" Tommy looked at her dumbfounded and slowly unbuckled his seatbelt, jumped out and followed Jude into the building. On their way through the lobby and toward the elevators, Tommy broke the silence.
"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to come with you or not." He stated softly. Jude turned to him and took his hand as they stood still waiting for the elevator. She looked up at him and smiled softly.
"I'm sorry for the way I acted while I was in the hospital. I was scared and unsure of everything. I just want to thank you for not giving up on me." She replied as the elevator doors opened. Tommy led her in, still holding her hand.
"It's okay. I understand. You know I'd do anything for you. I meant what I said before, when you first found out that you were pregnant. I'll be here to take care of you and the baby." Tommy let go of her hand and put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. Jude stepped closer to him and wrapped both of her arms around his middle and laid her head on his chest, reveling in his warmth and scent. Fortunately enough for her, his cologne was one of few scents that didn't make her nauseous. After a few moments, the elevator reached their floor and opened. Tommy let go of her and took her hand again as she led him down the hall to her doctor's office. After walking in, Jude pointed to a few chairs in the corner of the waiting room to Tommy has she went up to the receptionist to check in.
Tommy sat down on a love seat and looked at the glass coffee table that was completely covered with parenting and pregnancy magazines. He picked up a pregnancy magazine and skimmed the pages that showed facts of a developing fetus. Jude walked over to him and sat down next to him.
"So, you're about ten weeks along, right?" he questioned.
"Yeah." She replied as she picked up a parenting magazine and skimmed its contents. Tommy looked through the pregnancy magazine carefully and looked for the tenth week facts. "What are you reading?" Jude asked, putting her magazine back on the coffee table.
"Facts about the tenth week." He stated just as a nurse walked into the waiting room holding a clip board.
"Jude Harrison?" Jude stood up and reached down to grab Tommy's hand and urged him to go with her. He looked at her with surprise on his face and then smiled brightly. They followed the nurse through the door and was led into an exam room. The nurse, who Jude remembered from her first initial visit was named Sarah, a nice older woman in her mid-thirties, who you can tell loved her job, turned to Jude and held out a plastic cup. "I just need you to fill this up. The bathroom is through that door." The nurse pointed and Jude went in. A few minutes later, Jude emerged with the cup and handed it back to the nurse. Sarah stuck a paper strip into the urine and pulled it back out after a few seconds.
"What does that do?" Tommy asked from the chair he was sitting in. Sarah answered him as she poured the urine down the sink and took off her gloves and washed her hands.
"The strip tells us how much protein and glucose she has. We do this to make sure she has enough protein in her diet and how much glucose she has so we can prevent gestational diabetes."
"Oh." Tommy replied thoughtfully.
"All right Jude, step up on the scale so we can weigh you." Sarah said politely. Jude stood up on the scale and Sarah maneuvered the slides across. "Okay, you can step down." She said as she took the clip board and wrote down the results. "Looks like you gained a pound from your last visit. Just hop up on the table and I'll take your blood pressure." Jude did as she asked and held out her arm so Sarah could put the cuff on. After pumping the blood pressure cuff, Sarah took it off and wrote it on her clip board. "Your blood pressure is good. Just sit tight for a little bit and Dr. Matthews will be with you shortly." she said and left.
"Wow, we've only been in here for fifteen minutes and they've already done more to you than I thought." Tommy admonished as he stared at Jude as she sat on the examination table. She hopped off of the table and walked to him and sat down in the chair next to him.
"Before the doctor comes in, I just want ask you a favor."
"Anything."
"I want you to know that I'm not going to stop you from helping me and taking care of me." She stated while she took hold of his hand. "What I mean is, that if you still want to be around me while I'm all fat and pregnant and if you want to come to my doctors appointments and even if you want to be in the same room with me while I give birth…. I'm not going to stop you. My favor is that if you want to take care of me like you say you do, all I ask is that you give me space when I ask for it."
Tommy's eyes lit up with happiness. Now was his time. Now was his chance to truly show Jude what he'd been wanting to do ever since he came home from Asia. To show her how much he really loved and cared about her.
"Now before we continue I just need you to know that we are just friends." Jude continued. Tommy's smile faltered some. "I'm not saying that I don't need you. And I'm not saying that we won't be a 'we' again someday. I just need you to know that I'm still mourning Miles. I still go to sleep crying every night and listening to his voice in my head and his music in the CD player." She said sadly as tears slowly fell down her cheeks. Tommy leaned over and pulled her into his arms.
"Jude, it's okay. I understand. Without Miles here, you need the support that he would've given you. I love you Jude, and I'm going to be here for you no matter what." He whispered in her ear and kissed her temple.
"Thank you." She whispered back and laid her head on his shoulder. After a few moments of holding each other, Dr. Matthews walked in.
"Hello Jude. How are you feeling today?" The doctor asked as she walked to the counter and pulled a few latex gloves out of a box.
"I'm doing better. I'm sleeping better and keeping myself distracted for the most part. Morning sickness is still there but other than that I'm doing okay." Jude replied while getting back up on the examination table.
"Do you still feel as stressed as you were when Miles passed?" She asked cautiously. Jude glanced over at Tommy.
"No. I have a really great support system. My family and friends have been helping a lot." Jude said with a small smile. Dr. Matthews, a woman in her late forties looked over at Tommy with a look of interest on her face. She had read the tabloids and heard the other doctors and nurses talk about her patient the moment they found out she was coming to that office for her appointments. She too secretly wondered if Jude had an affair with Tommy and whether or not the baby belonged to the ex-boy bander or the deceased husband. Jude spoke up again when she noticed her doctor taking interest in Tommy. "Dr. Matthews, this is my friend, Tom Quincy." Tommy smiled and nodded. Dr. Matthews turned back to Jude.
"All right Jude. I just need you to lay back and pull up your shirt. We're going to an ultrasound to see how the baby is developing." She said as she squirted cold gel on Jude's stomach. Jude waved Tommy over to her and took his hand just as Dr. Matthews put the doppler wand on her stomach. All three turned to the screen and watched the dark shapes take form. "Jude, I'd like you to meet your baby." Dr. Matthews said with a smile. She pointed to the screen and continued to talk. "Here is the head. And this right here is the hands and here are the feet. Jude, your baby is developing wonderfully. Looks like he or she is between 27-35 mm crown to rump length or 1.06-1.38 inches. He or she weighs in at 4 grams, or 4 paper clips. Some other facts about your baby this week are that of the tiny toes having been formed. The eyes are largely open, but the eyelids are beginning to fuse, and will stay that way until you are 25-27 weeks along. External genitalia is beginning to differentiate. External ears are completely formed, as well as the upper lip. The biggest accomplishment this week is the disappearance of the tail!" Dr. Matthews exclaimed with a smile. Jude and Tommy laughed as they both stared at the screen in awe.
"That's your baby." Tommy whispered to Jude and kissed her forehead.
"Yeah." Jude whispered back happily and smiled at him.
"Wow. I can't believe it. It doesn't even look human but it's incredible!" Jude admonished excitedly as she and Tommy were walking back to the elevators while looking at the ultrasound photos. They stopped in front of the elevator doors and Tommy pushed the button and then pulled Jude into a hug while they waited.
As they walked toward the lobby doors that led out to the parking lot, they could hear a lot of talking and shouting.
"Here they come!" They heard from right outside the door and started to see flashes of light. Tommy quickly, but gently, pulled Jude off to the side and away from the glass doors.
"Oh my God! How did they find out that we were here?" Jude asked stressfully. Tommy took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.
"Look. I'll go out there and pull up in the hummer and then I'll come back in here to get you. Okay?" He looked into her fear filled eyes as she nodded and bit her lower lip. He made her sit down in a group of chairs hiding from the doors and bent down to kiss her forehead. "I'll be right back. Stay right here." He ordered and braced himself for the onslaught.
He walked through the doors as the vultures and leeches shouted out their questions.
"Is it true that Jude is pregnant?"
"Did Jude have an affair with you while she was married?"
"Is the baby yours?"
"If not, are you going to adopt it?"
The screaming and shouting didn't stop when he jumped into the hummer and started the engine. People with flashing cameras bombarded the vehicle. He couldn't move forward unless he ran over someone, which he wouldn't have minded, but he needed to get Jude out of there. After a few minutes of revving the engine loudly and them not moving an inch, he started to honk the horn long and continuously. They finally started to make a path for him as he crept his big vehicle up to the glass doors. As he hopped out of the running hummer, they swarmed him again as he ran back into the lobby to retrieve Jude. He found her where he left her; she was still looking at the ultrasound photos with a small smile.
"Are you ready? Here, put these on." He said, handing her his sunglasses. She stood up and took a deep breath.
"Ready when you are." She replied. Tommy encircled his arms around her and kept her head low. They walked though doors and into the crowd, Tommy keeping Jude covered with his body as much as he could. They got to the hummer and he opened the door for her, helping her inside. Thank god his windows were tinted. He pushed himself through the crowd until he got to the driver's side and hopped in. He turned to Jude and gave her an exasperated smile. He put the hummer into drive and slowly pulled out of the parking lot and into the street.
"Are you okay?" he asked, taking her hand. She nodded and looked down at the pictures in her lap. She let go of his hand and flipped through the pictures again.
"Oh no." she said in a panic and flipped through the pictures numerous times.
"What? What's the problem?" He asked, looking over at her grief-stricken face.
"One of the pictures is missing. Oh God! I hope I didn't drop it in the middle of that crowd." She muttered to herself.
*All Fall Down; by OneRepublic
