Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Oh, TP," Darci murmured sensually, gazing at her much shorter and more rotund boyfriend with bedroom eyes.

"Oh, my magnificent molish temptress," Toby replied dreamily, a soft smile on his face.

The two of them leaned towards each other to kiss…

And Darci hesitated. "Uh, Toby, you're human, right?"

"Huh? Yeah, 100%, so far as I know. Why?" Toby asked in confusion.

"So… You're not secretly some sort of supernatural creature or anything?" Darci pressed.

"No. Why, are you?" Toby questioned.

She shook her head. "No, I'm completely human, too. Pretty sure."

"Is… That a problem?" Toby asked, perplexed.

"No, no! It's just… You know, kind of a fan of teen supernatural romance…" Darci muttered awkwardly.

"Is this a deal-breaker?" Toby asked in concern. "Because, you know, I could see if Merlin would be willing to whip up another transformation potion-"

"No, no!" Darci was quick to assure him, grabbing his hands. "I love you for you, Toby-pie! I'm just… I guess I'm just a little envious of Claire, is all. Girl has a hot inhuman boyfriend and is a bad ass sorceress."

"Yeah, but if you asked them, I'm sure they'd tell you the cost of being like that is more than they ever wanted," Toby pointed out. "Honestly? I'm happy the way I am. Well, I suppose I could stand to be the taller. And skinnier. And finally get these braces out-"

Darci silenced him with a kiss. "You're perfect just the way you are," she promised him.

"Even with braces?"

"Even with braces."

Toby grinned. "Heh. Let Jim and Dr. L have the supernatural romance and all the baggage that comes with it. Because this, right here? It's fine,just the way it is."

And then they made out, until Darci's father got home and tried to arrest Toby for "sexually assaulting" his daughter.