48a/n: Hi, if you read this fic over on the chuckquinn account, nothing really has changed, just a little more editing. If you haven't….my chuckquinn account was made for a little more…..spice…sexy time, if you will. It's not M by any means, but it's more of two people in love and both of them quite handsy. If you're not interested in that, I get it, thanks for stopping by. Oh, you're still here. I am bringing over all four chapters plus an all new 5th chapter(the double seduction!). Plus as some have reminded me, that one shot, wasn't really up to chuckquinn standards…I may spice it up a bit. This story takes place approximately two months after the finale. Ch 1, Opening Up
Don't own Chuck.
Sarah Walker, no, Sarah Bartowski sat at the table, frustrated. She was having a more open dialog with her sister-in-law, who she had tried to kill, than her husband. That wasn't fair, Chuck was open about everything, except anything he though would pressure her. Ellie and Sarah were sharing a drink before Ellie climb on a plane to Chicago. Ellie had come back to try and help Sarah with her memories, but Ellie could find nothing that would indicate why Sarah still didn't have her memory back.
Sarah sighed, as she took another drink of her mimosa. Ellie was watching her, and it was a matter of time before a woman, who CIA torturers should fear, began the questions.
"So," Sarah began. "I love him and I'm not going anywhere."
"Butttt," Ellie said with a grin.
"He's so worried about not pressuring me, he's not opening up," Sarah said, frustrated. Ellie sat there for a second, trying to figure out the words to use. "He won't talk to me about anything he wants Ellie, your brother is uhh.. you don't want to hear this." She looked away, absolutely frustrated. She loved the guy, there was no doubt in her mind, and she found him absolutely breathtaking, but Chuck was being Chuck.
"Okay, can we do this clinically?" Ellie asked. Sarah turned back to her grinning.
"Chuck will do anything for anyone," Sarah began.
"And he won't tell you what he wants," Ellie replied, looking a little worried about where this was going.
"Not just what he wants, but what he likes, and not just sex. I mean clothes, even food, it's like I'm losing him. The guy I need to find my way back, if I can come back, is being replaced with the guy who looks like him, but won't share, and the one thing I remember above everything else is how he shares. He'll do anything but tell me what he wants," Sarah said looking away, tears in her eyes.
"So by being so worried about your wants, he's not letting you know his wants, and now your biggest want is to know what he wants," Ellie said trying not to laugh.
"It's not funny," Sarah said, trying to hold in a laugh. She had a smile on her face while a few stray tears made their way down her cheek. "I mean, I get it, there are worse things a wife has to worry about, but," she trailed off, and sighed. She looked over at the woman she considered her sister. "Ellie, I don't want him to resent me. I want him to be happy, and I get it, he thinks if I'm back he'll be happy, but I seem to remember times we were together but we couldn't be real with each other, and all it led to was frustration, fights, and us hurting each other." Ellie nodded.
"That would be your past in a nutshell," Ellie concurred. "Let me talk to him." Sarah started to say something. "I'm just going to tell him he needs to listen, you have to do the heavy lifting." Sarah bit her bottom lip, and leaned forward.
"You know that pair of jeans you wear sometimes just too see the look on the face of the guy you love?" she asked softly. Ellie nodded. "I don't even know which pair they are. I mean I have an idea, but I don't know. Ellie I'm a former spy, and he's so bottled up I can't even get a read on him. The only time he seems free and happy is when I'm telling him about a memory, and then after I'm done, he seals himself off."
"The idiot's gone overboard," Ellie said.
"You know only you can get away with calling him that," Sarah said, grinning. Ellie smiled.
"Sarah, you need to know something, you're still the same person, I'm still glad you married my brother, and I missed you," Ellie said honestly. "But, I have to catch a plane to Chicago."
"So, next week, should I fly to Chicago?" she asked. Ellie shook her head.
"Just call me when you need me," Ellie said, standing and pulling the younger woman into a hug. "Now, if you'll excuse me I have a brother to chew out." Sarah headed toward the parking lot, as she saw Ellie on the phone. When she exited the terminal she saw Chuck standing by the car, on the phone, attempting to defend himself. He gave her a look as she got in the car. He climbed in, giving her a glance.
"Ellie," he began, and then he just hung his head. Sarah couldn't help but giggle. "Seriously?" she heard him say. He glanced at her, not mad, a little irritated, and a little amused. "Okay, Dr. Mom." There was a pause. "Well maybe if you didn't act like it I wouldn't call you that," he laughed. "Love you, Sis, and thanks." He hung up, and shook his head, driving them home. Sarah sat there quietly, holding back an amused chuckle. "I hope you're proud of yourself," he muttered. She looked over and he was grinning.
"Sorry," she said.
"No, you're not," he replied with a smile. "She's right though, and you're right, I've been," he paused searching for the word.
"Closing yourself off?" she offered. Chuck bounced his head back and forth thinking.
"Not so much that, as making sure I didn't do anything to run you off," he admitted. Tears were starting to flow.
"Chuck, what a lot of people don't realize is your just a much of a victim of what Quinn did to us as I am, if not more so," Sarah said, placing her hand on his leg. "You nearly lost everything and remember it all, and have to live it daily. I only know I forgot something when I remember, or those few awkward moments when you say something, and then that hurts you more than me. I don't want you to resent me for not being able to be you around me."
"I don't resent you, Baby," he said, and winced. He told himself not to use pet names.
"See, that right there," Sarah pointed out. "That can't happen. If you say something I don't remember, or do something I'm not familiar with, you jump to the worst case scenario. Chuck I'm here and I'm not leaving." She was quiet for a second. "I like it when you call me baby," she said softly. "I never liked anyone else doing it, but with you," she trailed off and just shrugged.
"Point made. I'm just trying to make sure you're comfortable," he said, as they pulled up to the apartment. He came around as she opened the door, his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground. "You want to know the truth, I've been insecure over people leaving me my entire life, and I didn't think I could win you back a second time." Sarah laid her hand gently on the side of his face.
"Chuck, you didn't win me a second time," she said, smiling. "It was always in here. You want the truth? While I was hunting Quinn, you were always on my mind. When I left Castle that day, I wanted you to stop me. When I was on that beach I was trying to figure out how to be back in your life, because you, Chuck Bartowski are my home, and you always will be." She took his hand and led him inside. She walked him over to the couch and sat down right beside him. He looked a little uncomfortable.
"Sarah, uh," Chuck began. She laid a finger on his lips.
"Chuck, we're going to have some fun, and we're going to keep working on this until you open up," Sarah said, grinning. "Now, I have some memories of things, and frankly, Sir you haven't lived up to them."
"Wha? Sarah, I'm," he began, but she cut him off.
"Chuck, what I'm saying is, I enjoy making you happy, and it's your fault," she said with a grin. "You know how you feel inside when you make me happy?" He nodded. "I feel the same way. Now there's a lot we can talk about, but you, my gorgeous nerd, you need to open up, and I have just the idea. I think we should talk about the past, and I want you to tell me things, even things you may have never have told me that you liked, disliked, because Chuck, you are hiding yourself. This entire apartment has things in it, that I've never seen you touch in the past two months, yet they're worn like they've been used."
"Okay," Chuck nodded. "So what do you want me to talk about first?"
"How about something you wish you could change, and why," Sarah said. "And, not Prague, not Daniel Shaw, just something small that would have meant more to you."
"I don't know Sarah, that sounds a lot like whiney Chuck," he replied.
"Don't whine about it, tell me why it would have been special for you," she said. "And please, be as graphic as you want, because I know you, you'll say something benign if leave you to your own devices." Chuck grinned.
"Okay, there was a mission, when Bryce came back," Chuck began. He saw the look on her face. "It's more about you than Bryce."
"But it's got something to do with Bryce?" she asked. Chuck shrugged. "Go on."
"There was this dress you wore, it was red," he said, beginning to blush.
"Or salmon, whatever," she replied, grinning. He looked at her.
"You remember?" he asked. She bounced a shoulder but the grin told him he was right. "So you asked me how you looked in it and I said red wasn't my favorite, but Sarah, I lied, I so lied. You were gorgeous in that dress, but not for the reasons you think." He paused and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't want you to think me a freak."
"Chuck, I don't," she said softly, leaning into him, her breath on his ear. He swallowed. She put her hand on his knee. "Tell me," she said softly.
"That dress, and your hair combo," he paused. "I mean, I was at an utter loss of words, but the worst was you dancing with Bryce, and not why you think. Not that I was jealous, okay I was, but he didn't deserve you. In that dress," he paused, unsure if he should go on. She put her hand down so her nails were right above his knee, and slowly drug them up his leg just a few inches, but that was all the encouragement he needed.
"That dress was like you. Usually your walls are up, the spy in you made you not show me how you felt, and I knew you wore it for me that night, I knew, even if you'll never admit it," he said.
"I did," she replied, her fingers drawing lazy circles on his leg. Chuck's face turned into a full on smile.
"So you two were dancing, and there was a time you snapped your head away, and you had this one little strand of hair, and good lord, I didn't know if I had ever seen anything more beautiful. Because there you were, exposed, not your body, but you. I don't know, it was like a metaphor for you. I think I have a thing for your neck," he admitted, she giggled, remembering their wedding kiss. "Your hair was up, and your shoulders were bare and you could see the strong muscle that held me up, but the feminine side of you was there as well, that comforted me when I was being my usual self and needed you." He looked down, his eyes full of tears. She grinned, and drug her nails up his leg a little more. He straightened up.
"So you liked that dress, huh?" she asked, smirking.
"See, now you're gonna smirk at me," Chuck said.
"Well, maybe you should do something about it," she said, challenging him, he started to lean toward her and she put a hand on his chest. He stopped and watched her. She grinned, splayed her hand open, drug it slowly up his check, and slowly wrapped her hand around his neck, rubbing her thumb on it like she always did when she comforted him for those years. She gently pulled him to her and kissed him softly. It grew deeper, her tongue made its way into his mouth and swept against his. His moan made her shudder. She climbed on his lap, and his hands hesitantly touched her back. "That's it," she whispered. His touch was like electricity and his hands made his way lightly up her spine. Sarah had more talking planned, and if she didn't stop him now, she wasn't sure she'd have the willpower to do so later. She firmly put a hand on his chest and pushed away. The look on his face was surprised, but as he saw the lust in her eyes, it turned to hunger again. "Good start," she said catching her breath. "Now, tell me something else I've worn that you like."
"Okay," Chuck said, taking a deep breath. "Do you uh, think, you could get off of me." She scooted in closer to where there was no room between their pelvises. Chuck's eyebrows went up, and Sarah gave him a challenging look. "Okaayyy, you're gonna think I'm weird."
"Chuck, no I'm not," she said.
"There's this black shirt you have," Chuck began. "It perfectly describes you, all ninjay, badassery, but up the back, where the spine should be, are butterflies. It looks just like a backbone. It's so you. This cool, kickass woman. This woman who knows over a hundred ways to kill me and holds my heart in her hands." Sarah leaned forward and laid her head on Chuck's chest and felt his arms come around her to hold her.
"What else," she said. She felt Chuck sigh. She raised up, and began to kiss his jaw. She knew he had lost the ability to talk at this point, but she didn't care. His hands slid down and gripped her hips and she nipped at his earlobe. She sat up, grinning evily, and pushed hair behind her ear. "What. Else."
"There's this white thing you wore when we were trying to find my mom," Chuck said quickly. "I even asked you to bring it home. It wasn't anything special, and you had on these fake glasses, but Sarah, good Lord I couldn't concentrate on the mission because of it."
"You got shot," she said, worried. Chuck nodded. "Mary shot you!" She opened his shirt, and checked, to make sure there was no wound. She knew there wasn't, but it let her do what she wanted, and that was rub her hand on his chest. "I'm okay," he said.
"Just making sure," she said, running her hand over his chest. His breath hitched and he looked down at her while she was looking up at him. She licked her lips, and Chuck nearly dove into her. She giggled as he kissed her, and then he found the spot. The spot on her neck and she groaned. "Chuuckkk, stop, I've only got one more question." He pulled away reluctantly.
"Woman, are you trying to kill me?" he asked, with the biggest grin on his face. She leaned in until her lips were an inch from his.
"You know you'd die happy," she said, the smile on her face leaving him no doubt what he was saying. He grabbed her by her hips and stood, making her yell in surprise. "Chuck!"
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, looking in her eyes as he began to carry her to the bedroom. She shook her head.
"I just need you to answer one more question," she said, as they entered the bed room and he plopped her on the bed. He climbed on the bed beside her, and she began to run her fingers through his hair. "I'm torn."
"About what?" he asked.
"Your hair," she said. He had a confused look on his face. "It's sexy short like this, but I do like it longer. The animal shapes, places to grab on to." He turned red, and looked away. She reached over and ran her hand through his hair again, cupped his head gently, and pulled her to him. "I love our life, I love you, and I love our sex life. But I remember there was more," she explained. "The teasing, the laughing, the enjoyment of being with each other, and it was because we were comfortable with each other." Chuck nodded. "I'm not leaving, Chuck, I'm here, I've got the ring to prove it," she said holding up her hand with the wedding ring on it. "Which brings me to my last question before I ravish my nerd." Chuck grinned. "Is there anything lingerie wise you like?"
"All of it," he blurted out, making her laugh. There he was. There was the guy who made her heart skip a beat sometimes with just a smile. "But seriously, if you're asking me my favorite thing you wear, it's one of my button up shirts, or even tee shirts, because, well," he paused trying to figure out how to put it.
"You like seeing my legs?" she asked. He chuckled.
"I do," he admitted. "But, Sarah, you look so happy, so content, you look like you're home, and that's all I want, you to feel safe, and loved, and free here." Sarah reached over and tugged the shirt out that had been tucked in.
"I do feel free, and safe, and loved here, and I want you to," she said. "This was a good first step, Chuck."
"Do I get a prize?" he asked grinning.
"As many as you can handle," she answered with her own salacious grin.
"Oh, boy!"
a/n: Thanks for reading.
