Hey, guys! BD and GOTA, here, with the second installment of 'All Jokes Aside (No Laughing Matter).' This is a story filled with dark comedy and a cavernous amount of femdom. So, just warning you guys beforehand. Seriously! It gets there!

We wrote this story about five months ago and couldn't find it. Also, it was because GOTA and I were so drunk when writing this. No, this wasn't an exercise. This was plain drunkenness. This is a Yandere!OOC Emi x OOC Izuku story! Enjoy!

It was a late Friday evening when Izuku entered his dorm. He was exhausted since Aizawa-sensei had the entire 1-A class run laps until the sun went down. As much he wanted to retire to bed, he couldn't.

For he had company, his girlfriend.

"Let me help you, Izuku." The savory voice of the brunette belonged to his classmate, Ochako Uraraka. Her happy-go-lucky smile beamed as she assisted him with groceries they had purchased from the nearby bodega.

"I don't want to trouble you," replied Izuku, using whatever method of chivalry remaining. It was met with hands to her hips. "So, you are not secured enough to receive help from a girl?"

Too exhausted for a rebuttal, he gave Ochako the bags of groceries. His tired arms pressed the button to the elevator as they ascended to his floor.

"Aizawa-sensei was really harsh today," said Ochako as she was holding the bags. "What was troubling him that he had to punish the entire class?"

Izuku remained silent. Not because he wanted to be rude. He, as well as, a couple of others faced trouble before homeroom this morning.

Earlier this morning….

'Bakugo! Midoriya! Kaminari! Iida! Kirishima!' The brash voice of their sensei called the teens out of their dorms while they were sleeping in dreamland. Sporting nothing but their pajamas, or in Kirishima's case, just boxers, the others were reporting to his office.

'Gentlemen, tell me what's this?' Aizawa-sensei threw a set of clothing on the desk. They were the class uniforms for the upcoming exam. However, the clothes were wrinkled, dirty, and judging by the scuff marks and stains, it had a foul odor.

Katsuki sniffed the clothing only to be rebuffed by the stench. 'Who in the hell left these clothes bathed in spoiled raw shrimp?'

Aizawa-sensei slammed his hands. 'That is the question I would like to ask you, gentlemen.' The sensei eyed each gentleman while he paced aggressively. Although concerned, each was still unaware of their somewhat rude disturbance at six in the morning. 'Is there something to confess?'

The class president decided to intervene. 'Sensei, with all due respect. What are we being accused of?'

His honest-to-God response was met with a smirk by their sensei. 'So, you guys want to play innocent?' Aizawa-sensei cracked his knuckles. He pursed his lips while putting his shoe on the chair. 'Yesterday, you guys were on duty for laundry. Is that correct?'

Iida nodded in compliance. 'Yes, sir. A special assignment to prepare for the upcoming exam.'

Aizawa-sensei nodded. 'Good, good. Since we are on the same page, why in the hell do these clothes smell like fresh catch of the day?'

Katsuki waved his hands, appearing incongruent to sensei's feelings. 'Smells like Deku after three days of spanking his monkey.' The tiny laughter of the other boys was interrupted by the slamming of Aizawa-sensei's hands on the desk. 'This is no laughing manner. These uniforms are the symbol of UA pride. We have exams in two weeks and you want to play?'

Izuku swallowed the lump in his throat. As he recalled, he and the others followed instructions of washing and ironing in preparation of the tournament. Despite Katsuki's roughhousing, the group finished in a timely manner. Whatever happened afterward was unknown to him, at least.

'Since you guys were present, one of you must have done it.' Aizawa-sensei turned to Kaminari and Bakugo. 'What do you have to say?'

Denki attempted to intervene. 'What makes you think we have done it? We aren't the only people who visit the basement after hours.'

Aizawa-sensei directed the boys' attention to the television screen. To the boys' surprise, it has surveillance of the basement. 'You were the only boys who entered and left the area after hours. Seeing the tape since then and now, there has been indirect activity. Therefore, one of you guys have done it. Be that as it were, involved together or separately.' He pointed fingers. ''Fess up or suffer the consequences!'

Katsuki blew a raspberry. 'Man, I won't be going down for something that I didn't do.' He slapped Izuku's back. 'Deku, say that it was you that popped your bologna over these uniforms so we can get out of here!'

Izuku was startled. 'Why are you accusing me?'

Iida intervened. 'If I may have a say…'

Aizawa-sensei slammed the desk hard to the point where tiny miniscule cracks were forming. 'Honestly, I don't have time for the blame game. Either you act as a team to confess, or take it out to the entire class.'

Eijiro finally spoke. 'Look! I am not certain if one of us did something to the uniforms but what makes you think we did it. We didn't have anything to make that foul scent. The camera even shows us walking in-and-out empty handed.'

Iida interjected as he rubs the bridge of his nose. 'Well, we did have that laundry hamper….'

The comment was left with groans from the others.

'Iida, you ass,' barked Katsuki.

Aizawa-sensei produced a strong, sickening glare. 'I rest my case. So, what should be your punishment.'

Bakugo widened his eyes. 'Why in the hell am I being punished. It was Deku that popped his top over these clothes.'

'Quit accusing me,' interjected Izuku.

'Quit accusing me,' replied Katsuki mockingly.

'You better stop, Bakugo,' said Izuku defensively.

'What are you going to do about it,' retorted Katsuki. He produced a smile as he stretched his arms. 'Take a swing. I will give you that free shot since you like beating meat so damn much.'

'Kacchan,' barked Izuku as he raised his fist. As he aimed toward Katsuki, he had, unfortunately, miscalculated the trajectory of his hit.

Aiming for Aizawa-sensei's stomach.

Back to the present….

Ochako pecked her boyfriend on the cheek, wanting to comfort him in each and every way. "Poor baby," she said sincerely as the elevator opened. "Sorry that you had to stand on trial like that." She pecked him again. "Sorry that you have to put up with Bakugo's antics."

Ochako allowed Izuku to exit the elevator as she followed. Izuku was checking his pockets for the keys. "Funny thing was that the punishment was due to my punching him in the gut."

"What about the clothes?"

"Hatsume checked it out." Izuku placed the key into the keyhole as he unlocked the door. "She says that there could have been some rodents that knocked the clothing off the shelves."

"What about the spoiled fishy scent," asked Ochako.

"We live in Japan. The home of seafood," answered Izuku. "Hatsume thinks that the rats were giving an airy odor." The emerald-haired teen shrugged his shoulders for honestly, he didn't care. Izuku dropped his bookbag and the remaining groceries on his desk. Ochako turned on the lights, illuminating the once-darkened room.

"Todoroki is out for the weekend, correct," asked Ochako as she looked at her boyfriend. Izuku didn't answer, but nodded in compliance. Ochako smiled, knowing that she didn't have to rush leaving anytime soon. "So, that means I can…" She was feeling giddy. She placed her hands on her cheeks like a squirrel filled with nuts.

"Sure," answered Izuku. "Hope you don't mind sharing a twin."

Ochako put her two index fingers together, acting shy. "I promise to share the covers." She chirped happily, especially when she almost forgot about a DVD that she had recently purchased. "Izuku, baby. There is this DVD I have purchased and I was thinking we should give this a go!"

Izuku wasn't even sure he could stay awake to see the starting credits. However, since it has been a couple weeks since they have been together, he didn't want to disappoint the painstaking efforts she wanted to spend time with her man. "Okay, baby?" Izuku took off his shirt. He turned around to face Ochako. "Is it comedy? Rom-com? Horror?"

"Well," she answered melodically. "It is kind of a romantic video. And, it is sort of educational." She handed the DVD to Izuku. He read the title, "How to Enjoy A New Relationship."

Ochako gleefully clapped her hands. "Well, Izuku! Since this is our first time being in a relationship, I was thinking this could help us put our foot on the next step." She grabbed her hands. "Please," she said in a pleading voice.

He could sleep during the Rapture, but Ochako's beaming smile was enough energy to boost the exhausted fifteen-year-old.

"Please," she said once more with her hands in a praying position.

"After running the campus over fifty times, my legs and mind can use a rest," answered Izuku as he shrugged his shoulders. In return, it was met with a kiss and a hug from the charming brunette. "Thanks, sweetie!" She pecked him on the lips. "You're the greatest!"

A few minutes later (enough time for Izuku to drink a Red Bull)….

The lights were off as the television was the only thing illuminated in the dorm room. Ochako grabbed popcorn and some drinks for herself and Izuku. Izuku was grateful that the lights were off. In case he wanted a second wind, he could say that he was meditating on the ideas presented in the video.

"'A way with words! A guide for first-timer relationships.'" She hugged the DVD cover while grabbing the DVD remote. "This is so exciting, Izuku!"

Although he knew that his sweet girl didn't catch it, he was a bit curious. This was certainly out of character for the girl he has dated for a couple of months. He honestly believed that their relationship was on a steady pace.

Truthfully speaking, there were bigger fish to try instead of pseudo-romantic experts.

The scent of their soiled uniforms suspiciously smelled similar to what he has encountered with his stuff. Certain items have been marked with the same strong, distinguishable odor. At first, it started with his writing utensils. At first, when discovering it, he thought it was mucus. Upon close examination, his nostrils flared when smelling the odor. It smelled like three-day-old shrimp.

Izuku decided to place those thoughts aside. Whoever is doing this must have a reason. At least, to the emerald-haired teen, was that his clothing wasn't the only thing affected. However, he couldn't help but to search for red flags.

"Comfy?" The blushful teen asked her boyfriend. She positioned herself by his side - hand on his thigh with his arms around her shoulder. Snuggled up on the bed and their bowl of popcorn, this was going to be a romantic educational night.

Ochako clicked the play button on the DVD remote control. The video started up.

Izuku heard the typical music soundtrack of the 1980's. Surrounded by the glitzy neon and glamor. The days of when Saved by the Bell, Kenpachi-sensei, Mood Rings, Jon Bon Jovi, and Michael Jackson reigned supreme.

"A bit retro, don't you think, sweetie," asked Izuku.

"Shh! Just give it a chance," answered Ochako as she laced her fingers around his hand, anticipating what the video could offer to the novice. "Remember that this is for us." Izuku couldn't help but smile. He kissed her on the hand. "You're right, baby. What's the worst that can happen."

"Hello, I am Dr. Aki Aoi. By purchasing this video, you've taken the first steps in your relationship."

It was a typical brunette of Japanese descent. Her hair was tied in a ponytail. Her clothes looked very bland, similar to a typical Japanese salarywoman. She was sitting on a couch. Judging by the background, it was a study.

"Before we get started, I'd like to start by asking the women to leave the room, because this part of the tape is for men only. We'll see you in a little while."

Izuku took the remote, putting it on pause. "Okay, what kind of video is this?"

Ochako made a whiny pouting sound. "Baby, why not give it a chance?"

Izuku sighed through his nose. He didn't like disappointing his girlfriend but feels that something is fishy with this video exercise. "We just got comfortable, lights dimmed, and now you have to leave the room."

"Baby, you have to trust me," said Ochako in an assuring manner. "This is for the sake of our relationship." She batted her eyes. "Do you value our relationship?"

"Of course, Ochako. Why would I not?" In defeat, Izuku caved into the pressure. He jumped from the bed and turned on the lights. "Okay. Just because it is you."

Ochako placed the popcorn on his desk. Feeling energetic, she grabbed her keys and walked to the door. "I am going to go and grab some sleeping clothes for the night." She kissed him on the lips. "Enjoy the video. Have fun!"

Izuku closed the door. He sighed at the face he could never say no to the damsel. Maybe Katsuki was right, according to Izuku as he sat back on the bed.

"Make sure your woman is out of the room."

Izuku grew concerned. How could the DVD play if he didn't unpause the video. He kept his face glued to the screen as the woman looked unmoved.

Suddenly to his surprise, a more sensual and seductive soundtrack was playing in the background. The unkempt, homely psychologist took off her glasses, showcasing her eyes.

"So, you wanna talk or you want me to take my blouse off?" Izuku stood with his mouth agape. The woman went from talking calmly and informative to alluring. "What in the hell kind of video is this?"

Concluding that Ochako may have misconstrued the contents of the DVD, he was going to turn it off.

"If you press that button, Izuku Midoriya. Then, there will be regretful consequences on your behalf."

The emerald-haired teen's heart skipped a beat. His mouth was agape. Sweat began to pour from his pores. 'Did she call my name?'

Dr. Aoi released a haughty laugh. "I suggest you get comfortable and have a seat. It's gonna be awhile."

Before Izuku could speak, Dr. Aoi interjected. "Keep your eyes off that door and eyes on me. Now!"

He began to stutter. Instinctively, he did what he was told.

Dr. Aoi laughed once again. She snapped her fingers. "That's what I thought. Are you sitting like the good boy you are? Tee-hee! You better be, or else we don't want anything to happen to Ochako, do you?"

Looking back at the door, he hoped that Ochako wouldn't come back anytime soon. Fearing for her safety, he must keep his cool. What kind of tape was this in the first place?

Unsurprisingly, the doctor appeared unmoved as the smirk remained on her face. "Oh, man! I am feeling so hot right now. Are you feeling it, Izuku? Because, you are the source of it. And man, do I need a tall drink of water like you to quench this insatiable thirst!" His emerald-eyes were drifting to her depantsing her blouse, showcasing her creamy, nimble legs.

Strawberry-themed panties, thought Izuku.

"I hope this turns you on, Izuku. I have been keeping it wet just for you," said Dr. Aoi. She removed her scrunchy from her ponytail, showing her beauty hidden behind the glasses and unkempt appearance. She licked her lips, reminding him whenever Kayama-sensei or Mount Lady found a man to prey upon.

Then, she ripped her blouse. A firework of buttons sprayed throughout the room. "I hope you like big and succulent tits because this itty bitty bra could hardly contain it." Without a beat being missed, the doctor pressed her head forward to the screen. "Does that make you hard, Izuku baby? I know it does. Something flatsy, dull, dishwater shrew you call a girlfriend can never do for you. Well, let me help you." She snapped her fingers, as though she was trying to get Izuku's attention. "Your pajamas. Take them off."

"Okay, this is gone far enough." Why was he allowing a tape bother him. He concluded that it had to be one of Katsuki's shenanigans to further piss him off. He reached for the DVD remote control. As he aimed for the television.

"Don't you dare turn your television off!" The doctor's stern voice ran a chill down Izuku's spine. Then, she released a haughty sigh. "You know, Izuku. One thing about watching videos is knowing detail. For instance, recognize this background? If not, let me help you?" Izuku remained quiet. With his eyes glued to the screen, the brunette adjusted the camera from the study to an area he recognized.

"Is that my house," he said aloud.

"It is exactly your house, Izuku. Now, don't worry. Your mother is safe and unharmed. For now. Now, I don't want to harm my future mother-in-law. However, if you don't comply, then I can't promise our future together, sweetie." Dr. Aoi flicked her finger. "So, to make this process easier, why not take off your pajamas." She licked her lips. "Wanna see what is inside those cutesy fabrics of yours?"

He grew beyond the point of worrying. Frantic and panicked were better options. This video was being filmed in his home and she knew about his mother and Ochako. Fearful about them more than himself, he had to be a willing participant in this woman's game.

After a few seconds, Izuku pulled off his pajama bottom. He felt the chill as his sweat was met with the exposure of his dorm. He was eyeing the woman, looking amused and excited about watching the events unfold in front of her sights.

She began catcalling. "Love a guy with a sweet ass. Turn around for me. Wanna get a taste of this giblet heaven." She snapped her fingers, cueing Izuku to turn to the screen. "Now, take off that little tight shirt there, too."

Obliging to her demands, he removed his shirt.

"There you go!" Dr. Aoi whistled once again. "My baby Izuku is such a sexy, sexy boy. However, it isn't complete. I want to see the full essence of my Izuku." She popped her bra, exposing her large, succulent breasts. "Like seeing my breasts? I would love to have this puppy nibble on it. These soft buns need something hot and juicy like that sausage of yours. And nothing beats a great Frankfurter with naturally made mayonnaise."

"Are you crazy," barked Izuku.

"I am not crazy, baby. I am your lover-to-be, silly, she said with a strong sense of urgency. "To complete the set. Those panties you're wearing. Take them off."

Izuku was planning to object until he heard background noise. The doctor panned the camera to the door. "Seems like my mother-in-law is home. Maybe she would love a preview of meeting her daughter-to-be!"

"Please," said Izuku in a pleading manner. "I will take off my briefs. I will take off my briefs."

"Your what?"

"I...I...I...will take off my panties!"

Dr. Aoi clapped her hands. "Oh, sweetness! That makes it better! Now, take them off."

Feeling embarrassed and fearing endangerment toward his loved ones, he was going to obey her orders. Dr. Aoi watched delightfully as Izuku discarded the other article of clothing separating from his nakedness. She twitched in her groin, exciting that naughty pussy of hers. The doctor has been leaking, creating a trail of juices onto the chair. "Very good, Izuku! Good boy!" She blew a kiss. "Do you value your loved ones? Will you do anything to please me to save them?"

Izuku didn't reply. He nodded in compliance to the captive-in-question on the video.

"Then you will have to buy a copy of the next DVD." Izuku turned when seeing the seductive temptress backed in her original demeanor.

He stood in pure awkwardness. Naked, alone, and afraid like a woman left alone in Trump's private quarters.

There was a knock at the door that interrupted his moment.

"Izuku, baby! I am back!" It was the sound of Ochako. Immediately, he rushed back into his pajamas. Moments later, he opened the door. "Hey, sweetheart." She dropped her gym bag to the floor. "Sorry for being too late. I couldn't decide which nightgown I should wear." She winked at the teen. "Or nothing at all."

Izuku nodded nervously. "Listen, baby. I am getting tired and want to head to sleep for the night."

"What about the rest of the tape," asked Ochako.

"You know, let's check it out tomorrow," replied Izuku nervously. "It has been a long day and I just want to catch some sleep." He placed his hand in a praying position. "Please!"

Ochako nodded. "Okay, baby."

A few minutes later, Ochako decided to wear her pink nightgown and climbed into bed with Izuku. She kissed him goodnight before returning into a slumber. However, Izuku couldn't sleep. His thoughts were upon the incident with the video. How could a taped seminar predict every single move?

Meanwhile….

Emi couldn't count how many times she had climaxed in the air vents. It was a good thing that she was used to having covert missions as a Pro Hero. Amazing how gullible Izuku could be. Not one time did he ever consider that the tapes were possibly switched.

She loved how much Izuku was dedicated, even to disloyal sluts like Ochako. As he walked her to the door, Emi easily snuck out and switched the tapes. Thanks to a connect that owes her a few favors, they were able to program it live.

She made a mental note to remove the DVD player whenever he went to school. What Izuku believes was a DVD player was nothing more than a makeshift camera disguised as a DVD player. Therefore, she had enough material to have quality loving with her Izuku.

Rest easy tonight, Izuku! For this will be the last sleep you will have. For tomorrow, you are going to become my husband!

BD: Baby, we were so drunk when we wrote this story. Though I wish you can be like that to me, baby!

GOTA: I do do that in between the sheets.

BD: TMI, baby?

GOTA: Is that formula of determining penis size? Why not pussy sizes?

BD: That's South Park's TMI. Never mind. Honestly, I am questioning the direction of this story. Let's take some time to think before moving forward.

GOTA: More stories to come soon! Stay tuned!

To be continued….