1Do Not Run Deeks
Summary: Sequel to "Damnit Deeks". One-Shot. When a case hits a little too close to home for him, and brings up suppressed memories, Deeks starts acting differently and pushing Callen away. Callen refuses to let him run away from whatever it is that's bothering him, and he damn sure won't let Deeks run away from him either.
Dedication: This is dedicated to Sassylassy1313 because her review on "Damnit Deeks" is what inspired this story.
A/N: As I said above a very lovely review sparked the idea for this little plot bunny and it refused to get out of my head so here it is lol. It's only going to be a one-shot because I haven't watched any NCIS in a long while so I am totally out of the loop on everything…I had to look up on google to find out about Deeks's past lol.
Warnings: child abuse, spousal abuse, alcoholism, childhood trauma, basically Deeks's dad was an alcoholic ass and traumatized his kid…poor thing. Also…some foul language and spanking…and of course sex.
Chapter 1 – Too Close
Callen and Deeks had been together for a while now, two years and three months according to Kensi, and everything was about as good as it had ever been for either of them. Deeks had moved into Callen's house but still kept his tiny apartment, not that Callen knew that. Deeks had a lot of secrets he kept to himself but he knew that eventually Callen would learn all of them.
The team collectively groaned when they got a call for a new case after literally having just walked back in the door from their last one. They were told a young boy had shot his father, a Naval Officer, and that was all they knew so far. When they got to the scene Kensi went to interview the mother, Sam and Callen took on the gathered first responders and Medical Examiner, and Deeks went to talk to the son. He found the boy sitting in the back of a police cruiser and the kid looked so damn small in there.
"Hi there. I'm Detective Marty Deeks…what's your name?"
"Jake."
Even the kid's voice was small…and so very quiet. The kid sat with his shoulders hunched in and his knees pulled up to his chest and it looked eerily familiar to Deeks but he wasn't sure why. Jake wouldn't even lift his head to look at Deeks.
"Can you tell me what happened in there Jake?"
"Dad was drunk again…he gets really mad when he drinks…he had his gun out and started waving it around…he was yelling at mom…he kept saying he knew she was cheating on him…but she wasn't…she never went anywhere without me…she always takes care of me…he pointed it at her and said he was going to…he said he was going to make sure no one else…no one else could…could ever have her…I didn't think…I didn't realize…I just reacted…I had to protect her…"
"Shh…its ok Jake…look at me…it'll be ok…that was self-defense and the evidence will show that ok? You gotta stay strong kid…you'll be ok…and I'm sure your mom will be right beside you as much as she can."
"I'm scared…I don't wanna go to jail…"
"Shh…hush now…it's alright."
Deeks couldn't stop himself from pulling the kid into a hug and trying to ease his fears a bit as the boy started sobbing. From the sound of it the kid simply reacted on instinct to a credible threat…he was sure the kid would be ok…but that didn't explain why his own throat felt like it was closing up and he felt a sense of panic clawing up his spine.
"I have to go for now but stay strong, ok kid?"
Jake nodded, his crying turning to little sniffles, and Deeks walked away from him…but not towards the house. He turned around and walked into the woods on the opposite side of the street and just kept walking until he felt he was far enough away from the scene to give in to the panicky feeling. He had no reason to be panicking and he couldn't figure out why he was having a panic attack over what the kid had said. Callen had glanced at Deeks several times and noticed him hugging the crying boy, but when he looked back again Deeks was just gone.
"Sam…where did Deeks go?"
"I don't know…maybe he went to compare notes with Kensi."
"He's not with her and I don't see him anywhere."
"You guys talking about the fluffy blonde haired guy that came in with you?"
"Yes…did you see where he went?"
"He walked into the woods over there a couple minutes ago."
"Why the hell would he go in there?"
Callen thanked the officer for his information and told Sam he was going to check on Deeks, even though Sam said he was probably fine and maybe the kid told him something. Callen had learned a lot of skills over the years, including tracking, and he put them to use to follow the trail Deeks left behind as he ran through the underbrush. When he found his lover he was understandably confused and concerned by what he saw. Deeks was sitting at the base of a tree, curled into a ball, crying, and hyperventilating to the point that Callen was surprised he hadn't passed out yet. He ran to Deeks's side and dropped to his knees before pulling the slightly smaller man into his arms.
"Deeks? What happened? Come on…you need to calm down for me…easy now…whatever it is it's ok now…I've got you pet…just lean on me…let me take care of you love."
Callen kept up a constant stream of words in a low tone to try and soothe whatever had caused Deeks to panic like this. Eventually it seemed to be working as Deeks's breathing started to even out.
"You ok love? What caused this?"
"I don't know, G…I was interviewing the kid and…the next thing I know I can feel the panic clawing at me…so I ran in here….It was self-defense…didn't mean it…dad was drunk…threatened mom with a gun…had to do it…"
Deeks started off making sense and then halfway through started slipping away from Callen…somehow started rambling as if it was him and not the kid…and now Callen was really concerned.
"Ok Deeks…it's ok. Let's just get you back to the car and back to headquarters ok?"
Deeks didn't respond, didn't even seem to hear him, so Callen just swept him up into his arms and carried him out of the woods. When he got back to the scene and gently placed Deeks in the back of the SUV Kensi and Sam joined him, both looking concerned.
"What happened G? Did someone attack him?"
"Is he ok?"
"I don't know if he's ok…physically he's fine…he wasn't attacked. Something about what the kid told him triggered a massive panic attack in him and he got a bit out of it…not sure he even realized I was still there after a bit."
"If it's anything like what his mother told me…his dad was trying to kill his mom Callen…that's pretty traumatizing for a kid…but I don't understand why Deeks would have a panic attack."
"He doesn't know either Kensi…he was confused and upset…and I don't know how to fix that."
"G…just get him out of here. I'll have Eric come pick us up when we're done here ok?"
"Yeah…good idea. You guys are good right?"
"Go, Callen…take care of Deeks…we can handle this from here."
Callen drove Deeks back to headquarters and transferred him to his own car, told Hetty what had happened and that he was taking Deeks home, and then did exactly that. Sometime during the trip home Deeks had fallen asleep so Callen just carried him to the sofa and sat down with Deeks curled against him and settled in to wait for him to wake back up. He had to wait almost two hours but Deeks finally came back around, but when Callen tried to press and find out what caused the attack…Deeks became defensive and lashed out at him.
"Welcome back Deeks."
"G? How did I get back here?"
"I brought you home. You want to explain what happened out there?"
"Not really…I was interviewing the boy, Jake, and then I just started panicking for no reason. I went into the trees so no one would see me flip out like that."
"You should have come to me Deeks…I could have stopped it before it got that bad."
"I don't know how much you know about panic attacks but rational thought isn't really possible in the middle of one. My brain was in panic mode not thinking mode."
"What did the kid say that started it off?"
"I don't know, G. I didn't start panicking until the kid started crying and saying he was scared to go to jail so…maybe I just can't handle kids crying. It's not a big deal…just let it go!"
Callen just raised an eyebrow at Deeks for yelling but his partner wasn't even paying attention to him by this point. He knew punishing Deeks for lashing out would be a bad idea, especially after a panic attack like that one…but he had to push down hard on the urge to remind Deeks which of them was in charge.
"Deeks…I have to go back in…you coming with?"
"No…not right now…I need some time to just…figure this shit out."
"Alright…I'll bring food home with me ok? Maybe from your favorite place?"
"No…I'm uh…I'm gonna go see my mom tonight…maybe she can help…I might stay with her tonight…"
"Ok…just remember Deeks…You're mine…and I love you. Now go rest some more and If I don't see you tonight I'll see you tomorrow."
Callen left to go back to work, and once there he had to answer a round of twenty questions from the rest of the team about Deeks's health and well-being. Deeks, on the other hand, packed himself a weekend bag with clothes and other essentials before driving over to his mother's house. His mom, Roberta Deeks, was thrilled to see him as always but she could tell with one look that something was seriously bothering him.
"Marty? Sweetheart what's wrong? Did you and that sweet boy Callen have a fight dear?"
"No…not really…something happened at a crime scene today…"
"Come in and sit…then we'll talk."
Roberta pulled her son into the living room and sat him on the sofa before joining him. She was glad Callen wasn't the problem as she had met the young man and genuinely liked him…and loved how happy he made her son.
"Now, tell me what happened."
"Ok…so I was interviewing a kid who had shot his dad…a Naval Officer…killed him…and the kid was freaked out…told me his dad had been drunk…he was waving a gun around and pointed it as his mom…told me his dad accused her of cheating and basically said if he couldn't have her no one else could…he said he didn't think…just reacted…grabbed the gun and shot his own dad…he started sobbing and said he was scared he was gonna go to jail…and then I started to have a panic attack…I managed to make it into some woods across the street before it fully took hold…by the time Callen found me I was a mess…apparently I fell asleep at some point because the next thing I know I was waking up on our sofa curled into his side. I just…I don't get it…why the hell did I panic like that for no reason?"
"Marty…sweetheart…it wasn't for no reason. Look at me sweetie. How much do you remember about your father?"
"Not much…I remember he drank a lot…and he was mean…and then he went to jail…that's about it."
"That's all true, yes…but there's something you've forgotten about it seems…maybe your mind hid it from you to protect itself…"
"Mom…what are you talking about?"
"Marty…sweetie…you almost were that boy. Your dad had come home drunk one night and started waving his shotgun around…after that you told that friend of yours, Ray, and he gave you a gun to keep you safe…he was worried about you…and a few weeks later your father started waving his shotgun around again but this time he pointed it at us and you pulled out the gun and shot him…you didn't kill him…just wounded him…and he was sent to jail while you were deemed to have acted in self-defense."
"I shot dad?"
"Yes…but I was glad you did…you probably saved us both that night sweetie…you did what you had to do."
"Why don't I remember it?"
"As I said…you probably suppressed it…you were only eight after all…the mind can do amazing things to protect itself from things it can't handle yet. Hearing that boy's story…so close to your own…probably triggered the panic attack as your mind was trying not to remember."
"I snapped at Callen when he kept asking me questions about it so he went back in to work…he's probably mad at me."
"I doubt it…he's a smart boy Marty…he probably realized you were lashing out because you were upset. I think you two will be just fine. Now why don't you go home and wait for him…and then explain it to him ok?"
"Yeah…ok…thanks mom…I love you."
"I love you too Marty."
Deeks started to head for home but halfway there he changed his mind and went to his little apartment instead. He took his bag inside and tossed it on the sofa before pulling a hard black case out of the closet. He opened it up and pulled out his favorite form of stress relief, his violin. He'd learned it when he was younger, a fact the team had learned on another investigation…but none of them knew he still played. It helped him release trapped emotions…Callen helped with that too but right now he felt too raw and unstable to even be near other people…so he played instead.
When Callen returned to their shared home and saw Deeks was still gone he sighed softly and called his mother's house.
"Hello?"
"Hi Roberta…its Callen."
"Oh hello dear. Did you and Marty talk things over already?"
"No…he's not here…that's why I was calling you…to check up on him."
"He left hours ago…I told him to go home and explain things to you…he's been suppressing a memory since childhood…and that's all I'm willing to tell you…the rest has to come from him now."
"Where would he have gone?"
"Probably his apartment dear."
"He kept it?"
"He didn't tell you that either? Oh…what is my boy thinking?"
"He probably isn't thinking…we'll be fine Roberta…I'll take care of him."
"I know you will dear. Be careful with him though…he's been suppressing this for a very long time…with what happened today the memory will likely be coming back in force and it might make him defensive and agitated."
"I can handle it Roberta…I know how to handle suppressed memories…I've been through it myself several times now. I'll take care of him, I promise."
"Take care of yourself too dear."
The two hung up and Callen threw a few items into a small bag and headed over to Deeks's apartment. As he neared the door he could hear the strains of a violin playing a very melancholy tune and realized it was Deeks…He knocked on the door and the sound stopped so he knocked again. When Deeks opened the door Callen felt like his heart cracked. Deeks's eyes were blank…it was like he'd shut down inside. Callen didn't wait for Deeks to invite him, just pushed Deeks back, gently, and closed the door behind him. After locking the door he guided Deeks to the sofa and pushed him down onto it, noticing the beautiful violin on the coffee table with mild interest.
"Deeks…talk to me. Don't shut me out…Don't run away from me…tell me what's going on so I can help you. All your mom would tell me was that you had been suppressing a memory that might be coming back now."
"She was right…"
Even his voice sounded off…his tone was soft but the voice itself was just…off somehow. Callen sat next to him on the sofa and gently pulled him against his chest.
"Just talk to me…please? I can't stand seeing you like this and not knowing what's wrong so I can make it better."
"You can't make this better G…I almost killed my own father when I was eight."
"How and why?"
"What?"
"How did it happen and why?"
"I uh…my dad was like the kid's dad…an abusive drunk…alcoholic really…he would get drunk and then he'd get mean…mostly to my mom but he hit me too sometimes. One night he was waving his shotgun around before he passed out. I told my friend Ray about it…he gave me a gun…told me to keep it close at home just in case…so I did. The next time my dad got his shotgun out he pointed it at us…me and mom…he started yelling at her and I thought he was going to kill her…so I pulled the trigger…he didn't die though…I was cleared…self-defense…he went to jail…haven't heard from him since…"
"Deeks…look at me pet…None of that was your fault…just like what happened today wasn't Jake's fault. You both did what you had to do to protect yourselves and your moms…"
Deeks stood and started pacing in front of the sofa while Callen watched him, trying to figure out what he needed to do in order to help Deeks.
"I didn't remember it G! I freaked out and had a panic attack and I didn't even know why! I talked to mom and then…then I came here because I needed to play…it didn't help enough. It always helped before but it's not working this time. I can't take it G!"
"Hey! Calm down Deeks…stop yelling at me or I'll take you over my knee right now."
"Then fucking do it already! Maybe that's what I fucking need G! I can't even think straight…my damn head's all over…and everything is spinning out of control…and I can't breathe!"
Callen grabbed Deeks by the wrist as he went to pace by him again and in one smooth motion dragged him down over his knees. He used one arm to keep Deeks pinned in place as he struggled a bit and used the other to pull his pants down to expose his ass cheeks. Deeks was flailing and cursing at him, fighting to get free and yelling that he wasn't a little kid.
"You should know better than to challenge me Deeks…I'm in charge…not you."
"Fuck off G…I'm not in the mood."
Callen ignored his words this time and laid a handful of hard smacks to his lover's ass cheeks, Deeks's swearing increased significantly so Callen kept going. He kept up a steady pace of hard smacks until Deeks's pissed off bravado finally cracked, a few more hits and the façade he'd been holding up shattered completely. Deeks began crying, sobbing from his position across Callen's knees, so Callen pulled him up and onto his lap properly so he could wrap his arms around Deeks and let him cry into his chest. They stayed that way until Deeks had gotten it all out of his system…the crying, the guilt, and the fear…all of it. Callen stood up with Deeks still in his arms, and carefully grabbed the little bag he'd brought with him before carrying both into the bedroom. He let the bag fall onto the edge of the bed before placing Deeks in the middle. Deeks opened his mouth to say something but Callen gave him a single look that had him clicking his jaw shut in a heartbeat. Callen grabbed some rope out of his bag and tied Deeks's wrists together, then stretched his arms over his head to attach them to the headboard which had Deeks squirming in anticipation already. When he finished that Callen used more rope to tie each of Deeks's knees to the edges of the headboard and tightened them so that his knees were pulled up close to his chest but also spread apart from each other…this brought his ankles together so Callen tied them that way.
"I think I'm beginning to understand how the turkey at thanksgiving feels…"
Callen snorted at Deeks but said nothing just yet…letting Deeks squirm in his curiosity. He pulled out a blindfold and put that over Deeks's eyes and then added a ball gag to his mouth for good measure. Deeks still managed to moan around the gag and Callen gave him an unseen smirk of satisfaction. Next he pulled out several sizes of fake cocks and started with the thinnest one, lubing it up and slowly pushing it into Deeks's exposed ass. Thanks to the way Callen had tied Deeks his ass was fully exposed and in the perfect position to be played with…and Callen was taking full advantage of the fact. Once the smallest cock was all the way in he started moving it in and out…starting slowly but building up speed until he was driving it into Deeks's ass at a pretty good speed. When Deeks started to get close to cumming he pulled the cock out and waited until Deeks came back down from the edge with a low whine. He repeated the process with the next size up, and then again, and again. He went through the same process with each of five different sized cocks until he had one left, the largest one. This one was probably about as big around as a woman's wrist at its widest point and Deeks was moaning loudly as he pushed it inside little by little. Once it was all the way in he started fucking Deeks with it, hard and fast, until stopping just as Deeks got to the edge of an orgasm and pulled it out.
Deeks was whining and probably attempting to curse at him from behind the gag but it was muffled mumbling to Callen. He reached between Deeks's legs to squeeze his cock hard for a second, loving the moan that earned him, and then used a specially designed clamp at the base. The clamp was made of steel and secured around Deeks's balls and the base of his cock to prevent orgasm until it was released by Callen, which he could do with one finger when he was ready. Callen slid his own cock into Deeks's ass this time, both of them moaning at the intimate contact, and started off at a slow pace. He slowly built up speed until he was moving the whole bed with each thrust and both of them were breathing heavily. Callen looked down at Deeks's cock, all angry and almost purple as it laid against his stomach, and gently ran the back of a fingernail along the length which made Deeks nearly scream from behind the gag and Callen knew he was almost ready. He took the gag out first and then took off the blindfold so he could see Deeks's face and hear every sound that fell from his lips…and then he pulled his cock almost all the way out and released the clamp before slamming back in hard and fast. Deeks's back arched up and he actually screamed Callen's name as his cum squirted all over his own chest, Callen followed close behind him and then leaned against Deeks's suspended legs for a moment to catch his own breath.
Once Callen had recovered a bit he untied Deeks and then went to the bathroom for a wet cloth to clean them both up. After that was done he laid down and pulled Deeks over to lay his head on Callen's chest, petting his lover's hair to soothe him even more.
"Feel any better now pet?"
"…much better…wanna sleep now…"
"Then go to sleep pet…I'll be right here when you wake up. I love to Deeks…and I'm not going anywhere…no matter what happens."
"Love you…too…"
With that sleepy statement barely making it all the way out of his mouth Deeks was gone. Callen watched him fondly for a while before drifting into one of his half-sleeps…or catnaps as Hetty and Sam called them. He knew Deeks would need to see a therapist of some kind to help him through the rest of his issues surrounding the suppressed memory and decided to talk to him tomorrow about asking Hetty to bring Nate in to talk to him, since Nate was basically the only psychiatrist any of them actually trusted. He wanted Deeks to be ok, but he also knew that he didn't have the skill or knowledge to fully fix this…all he could do was ease the symptoms for a bit but they would build back up until he snapped again if left to fester. For now he would enjoy the afterglow and let Deeks sleep in peace while he could.
A/N: There you have it…a brief little sequel/interlude…hope you guys enjoyed that…especially you Sassy lol.
