5Cromwell asks to resume work on the monasteries, and Mary is grateful to proceed, to have steady work to occupy her mind beyond needlework and her tenants. She can admit that he is a capable and loyal man, and that there are worse Piers Gavestons her father could have picked. And he has always been respectful and conscientious of Mary.
There is still a bit of fear in Father's eyes every time he looks at her, but he also dotes upon her and invites her often to spend time with the children. George's first birthday comes around, and it is a double celebration, that God has sent them two healthy sons. Mary makes a point of curtseying deeply to both Tommy and George, in front of the court. Usually Tommy bows to her, since she is a lady and much older than him, a gesture her father allows out of deference and indulgence. But she must emphasize her loyalty, especially now when everything is in the open.
The Duchess of Derby is also there. Mary had been half-afraid that her mother would notice something in his face, but thankfully George seems to be losing his curls with age, and the resemblance is less apparent.
It still sickens her at times, the magnitude of lies she is hiding from her mother.
You were forced into it, put under duress. Your life was at risk.
But that is the coward's way out, more lies. If she had refused to swear the vow, Father might have banished her from court or elsewise removed her from any position of power, but he would not have necessarily executed her. She had a choice, to make a stand for the truth, and she didn't. She thought of her half-siblings' lives, true, but she also wanted to remain at court, to have his love and her position and influence as eldest Princess, and she made a conscious decision to trade her mother and her own integrity for it.
Mary Tudor owns her choices.
It becomes easier, with time, to work with Cromwell, to push down the disgust and the complicated mass of emotions within her. Easier to forget his appetites and his leanings, to forget that her father will never fully trust her again, when before he had been willing to make her Regent.
She has her mother, she has her siblings, she has her title.
It's more than she ever thought to have when she was ten.
Elizabeth, Tommy, and George continue to grow, coherency taking firmer root in their speech and their understanding of the world. Bessie and Tommy continue to call Cromwell "Uncle Thomas", but they are canny enough to do so only in private. George follows their lead, or at least as much as a boy of one can do so, but he seems to gravitate as much towards his natural father as his royal one.
Will they ever know the truth? For all that they are brilliant, they are still young, too impulsive to know the discretion needed to keep such an explosive secret. Does Cromwell mourn that he will never be able to claim his youngest son? She has heard of the two daughters he lost all those years ago to the Sweat, and it must be painful to lose another child, in a different way. But then he has made his career in the shadows, and perhaps he has found a way to enjoy being a father in the shadows as well.
She had worried about what kind of influence the Duke of Essex would be on the children, but on the contrary, they seem all the richer for his presence in their lives. He balances Father and Anne out, a calming influence to their more passionate royal parents - something she can see after months of observing the arrangement with a dispassionate eye, now that the instinctual disgust has been cleared. And if she is honest, she is almost jealous that they have three parents so utterly devoted to them, when she remembers a time when she had not a single parent to which to turn. It's the weight of that memory, more than anything, that pushes her from mute acceptance of the arrangement to grudging appreciation. At least the children will never want for love.
Anne summons Mary so they can start talking about her marriage with serious consideration, and Mary remembers that her stepmother has always been as attentive to her as her own mother. Katherine of Aragon, of course, will play a major role in her daughter's matrimonial deliberations, but Anne, as Queen, also has some input to give.
"There are the contingencies to be planned for," Anne says, referring discretely to the fact that there are those, few but far in between, who would pledge their allegiance to Mary above Thomas. "If your husband is a prince or king, and you leave to become queen of another country, it would be easier since you would have your own life there across the Channel. But if he is a Duke or of another lower standing, and comes here to marry you, then we would have to be absolutely sure of his character and loyalty, especially as you would be Regent in the event-"
Mary is so shocked that she interrupts her queen. "Regent?"
Anne stops mid-sentence, blinking. "Yes, regent. Decider of all royal matters until Tommy reaches his majority?"
"No - but that - I would still be Regent?"
"Only if you choose to live your married life in England, we would hardly expect you to uproot your life across the sea to come back."
"No - I mean, Father still intends to name me Regent at all in his will?"
"Yes," Anne says wryly. "We did discuss that, before George was born, right?"
"But I had thought…"
Her parents and Cromwell had been as kind as ever to Mary after she swore on the Bible, but kindness is not the same thing as trust, and she had not dared to hope for the latter. But this… knowing that she is still a Catholic at heart, that she still feels resentment on her mother's behalf, and they are still willing to put their children's lives in her hands, still absolutely convinced that she will not abuse her power.
Her father does trust and believe in her after all.
Tension she had not even noticed eases from her frame, and she feels three times as light-headed as when she entered the room. "Yes, of course," Mary says, covering her false step. "I would not marry any man who seeks to abuse his proximity to the Regency, in the unlikely event that I must serve in that capacity. The real challenge will be detecting what is truly in his heart."
Anne smiles. "That qualification alone narrows down the pool considerably. Fortunately, there are a few eligible men who have shown not only interest in your hand, but also signs of being worthy of it. Now for the Duke of Bavaria…"
A/N: It's been a while, but I wanted to go ahead and post this final chapter. Much thanks again to Lil for this universe!
