18Well, this chapter was supposed to be some good ol' fashioned Dadmas goodness, but then I kept writing more crap, and now it's backstory on Seem. Whoops.
Happy reading!
The ride to the Monk Temple was completely silent, considering Seem didn't say a word to Jak. She drove them up the mountain, the moon lighting the way, nothing but the sound of the buggy's engine.
"...Can I ask you something?" Jak finally said. Seem grunted in response. "Why do you hate me so much?"
For a minute, he didn't think Seem would reply. Finally, she said, "I do not hold hatred for you. But I do not think you understand. Dark eco is dangerous. It is...unpredictable. You treat it as an ally, as just another tool to use. You do not take it seriously."
"I do take it seriously. Probably more seriously than you do," he added hotly. "I'm the one who had that crap pumped into me. I know what it can do."
"And that is why I am baffled by your attitude!" Seem snapped back. "You may think that you are above the corruption of dark eco, hero, but I know better."
Jak fell back into his seat with a thump. "Do you think I like having this stuff happen to me? That I wanted it?"
"I think you have no idea of the danger dark eco holds." Seem turned the wheel hard and brought them to the entrance of the Monk Temple. "Out."
Jak did as she told him, though he glared the whole way. Seem didn't appear bothered by his attitude as she led him into the temple.
"Come. We'll head for the Atrium."
"The Atrium?" Jak's bitterness towards her was overshadowed by his curiosity. "What's that?"
Seem led him through the main entrance. "The Atrium is a sacred place, full of history and prayer. I must ask that you behave like an adult in it."
Jak bristled at her tone again. "You act like I'm some kid goofing around."
"You are," Seem retorted. "Now hurry up."
Jak glared at her, but followed her across the room. She glanced behind at him over her shoulder.
"I must make myself clear," she said. "You are not to tell anyone of the secrets of the Monk Temple. Not even Lord Damas is permitted to know."
"I thought Damas was your king," Jak challenged. Seem was heading towards the back wall. "Shouldn't he know all the secrets?"
"Hmph. Lord Damas is your king. We monks may serve him, but we obey our makers. They are our kings."
She reached a blank, smooth space on the wall and gently pressed her hand to it. The wall opened up, the stone parting for the pair to go through. Jak blinked.
"Whoa. I didn't even know this was here."
"Of course you didn't." Seem led him down a set of stone stairs, torches flickering on the wall. "This is where the monks go for privacy and peace. We keep our secrets close."
They went down the stone staircase, their footsteps echoing through the dim corridor. Jak found himself transfixed by the huge murals along the wall, the yellow-orange paint mixing with the cool sparkle of water as it trickled down the bricks. It seemed like it was depicting history, with people carved into the pictures, vibrant figures that seemed to glow with eco-colored paint.
He felt that childish thrill he sometimes got, the excitement of a new place, ripe for exploration. He'd felt it at Misty Island, staring at the reddish glow of the Precursors; he'd felt it while traversing the Tomb of Mar, ducking and dodging spikes and traps like he was born for it.
Now, he felt it as he followed Seem into the depths of the Monk Temple. "How far down does this go?" he asked in wonder, all annoyances forgotten.
"Deep." Her eyes flashed at Jak. "Miles underground, to where the eco pipelines run. The corridors spread out, like a web underground."
The stairs ended in a large, open room. The room was a circle, with at least a dozen doors on the outer edge. Some were simple stone archways, some were adorned with the Seal of Mar. Still others had strange patterns on them, ones that Jak had never seen before.
"Welcome to the Atrium," Seem said.
It was adorned with Precursor idols and imagery, with even more murals painted all around the doors. The fire pits glowed around them, casting elongated shadows on the walls. As they stepped towards the center of the room, Jak glanced down at his feet. There were pipes in the floor, overlapping each other, with drain covers glowing with the power of eco.
"Whoa," he said softly. He hadn't seen the individual colors of eco in years. When was the last time, he thought, that he had seen red eco outside of ammo boxes, or blue eco not fueling machines?
"The eco pipes cycle eco through the Temple," Seem explained, her eyes following Jak's. "We use what we need, then return it to the pipes."
She gestured to the center of the room, where vents were spewing out eco: one for each color, for a total of six.
"The Atrium is said to be where Sages earned their powers. It is concentrated with the powers of eco, and is blessed by the Precursors themselves. It is here that the monks train and pray. Be respectful."
"When have I ever not been?" Jak said. She glared at him. "Alright, fine."
He took some of the dark eco himself, gritting his teeth as pain swirled inside his chest, making his muscles tighten and his hair stand on end. Seem's eyes widened.
"What?" he snapped. "You've never seen someone channel before?"
Seem gave him an almost pitying look. "...You have never been taught how to properly channel dark eco, have you?"
"Praxis didn't exactly have lessons on it," he replied bitterly. "I've just been doing the same thing I always do."
Seem sighed. "Then I'll show you."
She reached her hand out, but kept it several inches away from the plume of dark gas. She held her palm facing it and then exhaled softly. "Direct contact with dark eco is always painful," she explained carefully. "It is better to...call the eco to you." She curled her fingers over her palm, and the eco swirled around her hand and into her body. Her muscles tightened a bit. "Do you see?"
"Really?" He mimicked her movements and coaxed the eco towards him. To his surprise, the normal sparks of pain that usually accompanied it were dulled. "Whoa...I never knew that."
"Dark eco is not studied like most ecos," Seem continued. "Very few people are capable of channeling it. I am not surprised you are uneducated in the ways of darkness."
"Gee, thanks." Jak watched as Seem went a few feet away and sat down on the stone ground, cross-legged. "What are we doing next?"
"I am going to show you how to meditate."
"Meditate?" Jak stared at Seem. "Listen, I've tried the whole 'breathe deep and count to ten' thing. It doesn't help."
"This will." Seem gestured to the spot across from her. "Sit. I will show you the techniques I use."
"Fine." Jak didn't seem convinced, but he sat down across from her. "So why are we meditating?"
Seem clasped her hands together in front of her. "Meditation allows you to focus your mind and channel your energies to productive pursuits."
"Productive. Got it." Jak watched as she straightened her back. "So...what do I do?"
"Start by finding your breath." Seem inhaled, her chest rising. "Let your body rest and your heart slow. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth."
"Okay." Jak did as Seem told him, trying to keep his breathing even. She watched him for a few moments, then nodded.
"Very good. Now that you have your breathing steady, you must relax your body." Seem held her hands up. "You take a breath in, tense your muscles, breath out, and relax them. We'll start with your hands."
"My hands?" Jak glanced down at his fingers, bony with rough calluses. "Okay. Let's go."
Seem nodded. "Close your eyes. Inhale."
Jak closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Seem continued, "Clench your hands into fists. Keep them clenched."
A few seconds passed, to the point that Jak's muscles twinged with pain. Finally, she said, "Good. Relax and exhale."
She watched as he did so, then asked, "How do you feel?"
"...Huh." He opened his eyes and shrugged. "Weird."
Seem gave him a wry smile. "You are unwinding your body's tension. It should feel strange."
"This is dark eco training?" he asked skeptically.
Seem gave him a blank look. Then, she said slowly, "Have you ever felt irrationally angry? Not just...normal anger, but a fierce desire to destroy something?"
Jak looked taken aback. "Um...yeah."
"That is not an idea unique to dark eco," she explained. "All people face anger. However, dark eco warps that anger, that impulse to destroy, into a monsterous bloodlust. It is dangerous."
"Yeah, I know." He wanted to remind her that he didn't need a lecture on dark eco, but she shook her head. "What?"
"You do not," she said simply. "Your body will always be...unstable because of the dark eco. But if you can control your mind, you can control your body. And if you can control your body, you can control the eco."
Jak was quiet. He shrugged and said, "Well, you're the expert."
"...Hmm. I suppose." She sighed, then said, "We will continue. Inhale and tense your biceps."
Jak did as she told, feeling the muscles tense and relax. She led him through all his muscle groups, even having him tense the muscles in his face by wrinkling his nose. Finally, she said, "Very good. Now, stand up."
Jak did as she told, watching as the monk got to her own feet. He felt oddly...calm, he thought. Relaxed. Almost fluid. Maybe that was the point.
"You have said that you lose control when you channel dark eco," Seem continued. "Tell me more about that experience."
Jak shrugged. "I've gotten pretty good at keeping in control with it. But...sometimes, if I'm angry or there's too much dark eco, I...I can't control myself. I kind of just…" He struggled to put the experience into words. "...I guess I just get stuck inside my own head, is the best way to put it. I know what I'm doing, but I can't stop myself from doing it."
He expected Seem to ask him to explain more, but she nodded, as if she fully understood his strange analogy. "We are going to replicate these situations. You are going to try to suppress your dark side."
"I don't want to...transform here. It's dangerous." Jak folded his arms. "Maybe we can do it somwhere else, later—"
"No," Seem said, shaking her head. "Right now."
Abruptly, she flicked both of her wrists towards Jak. Before he could say anything, the dark eco that was pouring out of the vent went straight for him, guided by Seem herself.
The dark eco slammed into his chest, overloading his senses. He could practically taste it, bitter and acrid on his tongue. A growl ripped through his throat, the crackle of darkness taking over. He pushed it back, fighting against the wave of bloodlust.
"Focus on your breathing!" Seems' voice came through the haze, muffled with blood pounding in his ears. "Control yourself and you can control the eco!"
"Agh...I...can't!" He could feel his claws breaking from his fingernails, his lips pulling back to bare his teeth. "Gah!"
"Yes, you can!" Seem argued. She was steadily feeding eco into him, overpowering him more and more. "Do exactly as we did before, breathe deep and steady!"
"Ngh...agh..!" The dam broke, waves of darkness flooding Jak's consciousness. He wanted to fight her, to kill her, to rip her limb from bloody—!
And suddenly it stopped.
Jak fell, like a puppet with its strings cut. He collapsed on the stone ground, unsure of what had happened. It was as if all the dark eco had been burned away. He groaned in pain and exhaustion.
"You did fairly well for the first time." Jak glanced up from the floor to see Seem, funneling the dark eco into a drainpipe. "I'm impressed. Though I suppose you have had practice."
"W-what the hell were you thinking?" Jak gasped out. "I could have killed you!"
Seem looked up as the last of the eco drained away. "Yes," she said evenly. "You could have."
The stark comment hung in the air as Jak shakily stood back up, his body aching. "Did you...pull the eco out of me?" he asked finally.
Seem nodded. "Do not forget," she said, picking up one of the jars nearby, "that I am still a sage. You may have raw strength on your side, but I have my own powers."
She poured water from the jar into its cap, then slid the cap over to Jak. He took it, grateful. "Thanks."
As Jak drank, she continued, "Using these meditation techniques will help you to keep your channeling under control. I've seen you in the arena, and I've seen you now. You are trying to...force your darkness back. Such a thing will not work."
"Yeah, well," Jak grumbled, "what am I supposed to do, ask it nicely?"
Seem sighed. "You cannot resist anger with anger. That is fighting fire with fire, which only burns the world down."
"So what do I do?" Jak asked. "How do I...resist it?"
"...Hmm." Seem folded her arms. "You must be calm and steady. Consistent and strong. If you keep your own emotions in check, you will be able to resist the ones that come with dark eco. Don't try to push it back, that only wastes your energy."
"If I don't push it back, it won't go back," Jak argued.
Seem scoffed. "A wall does not have to push back. It simply doesn't move."
Jak blinked at her. She continued, "It will take practice. Temperance is not learned overnight."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, while Jak recovered his energy. He opened his mouth to ask if they were going to try again, but Seem already appeared to know what he was going to ask.
"Dark eco takes a toll on the body and mind. We will try again tomorrow night, to give your body and mind a chance to recover."
Jak wanted to protest, but he found his body agreed with her. He already felt weak and drained, tired from only one attempt. Instead, he said, "Fine. Same time tomorrow night?"
Seem nodded and began to close the jar of water, her eyes following Jak as he left. "I will see you then...hero."
Gin rummy, it seemed, was not Daxter's kind of game.
By the time Jak got back to Spargus, it was nearly midnight. He went to the infirmary to find that his friend curled up on the table next to the deck of cards, snoring loudly. Ionna was nowhere to be found.
"Daxter?" Jak shook him awake, snorting and jerking up. "Hey, you ready to go?"
"Ugh…" Daxter yawned and stretched, his back cracking into place. "Mmm...yeah, 'm ready."
Jak picked up his friend and settled him in his arms. "Ionna? You here?" He went to the room in the back of the infirmary. As he opened the door, he glanced around.
The medic's bedroom was sparse, not that he expected anything different. A bed, a dresser, a nightstand; there was a small bookshelf hanging above the nightstand, affixed to the wall and filled with books. It appeared Ionna kept in lockstep with the rest of the Wastelanders, only keeping what was valuable.
"Ionna isn't here?" he asked, nudging Daxter awake.
"Mrph...she had a 'mergency," Daxter mumbled. "Ran off to go...take...care of...dumbass…broke his...leg..."
Daxter went back to snoring in Jak's arms. The teenager rolled his eyes and headed for the door. He paused as he passed by the nightstand, distracted by the glint of metal. Hesitant and curious, he went over.
There was a shallow dish, made of Precursor metal, on the nightstand. There were a few trinkets in the dish: tiny silver hoop earrings; golden bangles with ornate designs; a flint and steel set; several colorful bullet shells. But Jak's eyes were drawn to a round metal pin, steel and chipped paint in a pattern like a face. He recognized the symbol, one as familiar to him as his own face. He'd seen it every day for two years.
I'll see you later, eco freak...
The Krimzon Guard.
He turned the badge around in his hand, brushing his fingers along the edge of the cold metal. It was old and worn, rusted on the back, the pin of the medal crooked.
"If you're going to go snooping around in someone's room, you should at least have the decency to try and hide it."
Jak jumped at the voice behind him. He dropped the badge into the dish, startling Daxter awake. "Geez!"
"Ionna!" Jak spun around, guilt plain on his face. "I was just...I thought you might be…"
Ionna gave a low chuckle and stood beside him. "I'm not upset, though you should know better. However, I understand that curiosity is a powerful force."
Her hands went to the dish and she picked up the badge he had been looking at. "So, what had you so fascinated?"
"...This." He showed her the Krimzon Guard pin. "Were you in the Krimzon Guard?"
"Ha!" Ionna took the pin from him. "A long time ago. The Krimzon Guard wasn't always the Baron's muscle, you know. Once upon a time, we were the King's personal guards."
"Really?"
Ionna nodded. "Oh, yes. There were only five of us back then." She began to tick them off on her fingers. "Myself, obviously. Two brothers, Yasir and Ali. They were killed in the war," she added darkly. "Antwon, who was banished out here, too. And Praxis, of course."
Jak wasn't surprised to hear the man's name, but the anger still burned in his chest. "Was Praxis always…?" He fumbled for the words, which Daxter willingly supplied.
"Crazier than a bag full of kangarats?" Daxter finished, swinging his way up to Jak's shoulder.
Ionna hesitated. "Praxis was always a very...zealous man. He was a war hawk, the kind of man who makes one hell of an ally, and one bitch of an enemy." She sighed. "Unfortunately, war hawks also like to make their allies into enemies. I think Praxis wanted so desperately to defeat the metal heads, he would have sacrificed anything to do it."
"Yeah," Jak growled. "That sounds like him."
Ionna ran her thumb over the pin. "It's just like him to use the symbol of noble warriors to present his own heroics. He always liked being the most powerful man in the room. Pity it didn't happen often."
"Not a Praxis fan, huh?" Daxter was grinning at her from Jak's shoulder. "Us either."
"I knew Praxis for a long time," she said, setting the pin down. "He wasn't always the tyrant he became. Believe me, child, war can change a person. In fact, it almost always does."
Ionna sighed heavily and then gave him a smile. "I suppose you didn't come here to talk about the intricacies and trauma of war. How did it go with Seem?"
Jak shrugged. "Fine, I guess. I don't think she likes me much."
"Ugh, just tell her the feeling's mutual." Daxter made a face. "Who'd even want to be friends with that weirdo?"
"Seem is a bit...stand-offish, I'll admit," Ionna said lightly. "But I wouldn't blame her. Seem has had a rough life."
"What's her story?" Jak asked.
Ionna led him out into the main room, shutting her bedroom door behind her. "People have not always treated Seem kindly."
"...You wanna elaborate?"
She sat down at one of the chairs and gestured for him to sit beside him. "Long ago, when the monks resided in Haven City, children who showed affinity for eco were taken to live in the Mountain Temple at a young age." She folded her arms and tilted her head back, remembering. "Back then, many of the monks were ardent believers in the myths of the Precursors. They believed that all dark eco sages were doomed to become fallen heroes, destroying everything in their path."
"Ahh, they're a buncha scaredy cats," Daxter said breezily. "Probably afraid of their own shadows! I mean, yeah, Jak here destroys everything in his path, but he's been doin' that for years." The ottsel gestured to his own body. "It's why I'm covered in fur!"
Jak glared at him. "Would you shut up? Sorry, Ionna," he added. "You can keep going."
She smiled at them both. "Daxter hit the nail on the head. It all came down to fear." Daxter gave Jak a gloating look as she pressed on. "Seem was shunned by most of the monks. They treated her as if she were something...less than human. A time bomb, waiting to explode. A nuisance at best, a cursed omen at worst."
Jak frowned. His mind flashed back to his time in Haven City, to the mothers who held their children a little tighter when he passed by, to the Underground members who skirted around him in the hideout. He tried to imagine himself as a child, faced with disdain from the ones who raised him.
"There were no monks who studied dark eco back then," Ionna continued. "It was a taboo subject. So Onin and I were the ones who trained Seem in the ways of eco. All the other monks were...let's just say, unkind. They would refuse to use her name, perform purification rituals after being in the same room...there were even some who denied that she was a sage. They routinely tried to banish her."
"What a bunch of jerks!" Daxter, incredibly, was indignant at Seem's treatment. "No wonder she hates everybody, they hated her first!"
"When we made our journey into the desert, most of the older monks stayed behind with Onin." Ionna gathered up the cards from the table and started to bind them together. "The younger monks were less traditional and accepted Seem when we made our home here. But...she never did quite learn to trust people."
Jak frowned and glanced at his hands. Yes, he understood perfectly what that was like. Before he could say anything else, Ionna suddenly straightened.
"My stars, is it already after midnight? You two better get some rest." She stood up and started to usher them out the door. "Go on, child, bedtime."
"Ah, we're grown men," Daxter protested, ignoring the fact that he had been asleep not fifteen minutes ago. "We go to bed when we want to!"
"Yes, well, when you're tired in the morning, remember that." She smiled as they left the infirmary. "Be careful, you two."
The door shut behind Jak's back. He started walking, his friend's presence heavy on his shoulder. His boots scuffed along the sand, the only sound besides the scratching of animals on the stone walls.
"Geez," Daxter said. "Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on Rubber Room, huh? Sounds like she's already gotten the short end of the stick."
Jak didn't respond, but he didn't have to. Both of them knew what it felt like to be "the other", to have to second-guess the motives of everyone you meet. When the rest of the world hated you, it was much easier to hate it first.
It was strange, he thought, how much his perspective could change in a single night.
Onin often wondered if it was fate, some great Precursor experiment, that brought both Ionna and Seem to her care. The powers of dark and light, powers her predecessors had only dreamed of, the very powers of creation and destruction.
Embodied by a ten year old and a three year old, playing beside a lake of darkness.
The monks trained out here sometimes, going through forms and meditation techniques together. It was an open spot near a dark eco lake, near where the Precursor shard was kept. The monks tended to avoid the dangerous lake, but it was the most convenient place to access the eco vents. While Onin watched a group of monks go through poses and stances, she also kept an eye on the two youngest in their ranks.
Youngest, and most powerful.
"Look, look, Seem!" Ionna let a stream of light eco flutter above the toddler's head. Seem giggled and reached for it playfully. "One day, I'll show you how to do this, too."
"Yeah, yeah, I wanna!" Seem squirmed as Ionna re-absorbed the light eco. "Show me now!"
"You must wait, child," Onin said softly, brushing one of her thin, knotted hands over Seem's soft hair. "Patience."
As if sensing the girl's annoyance, the pool of dark eco they were sitting by began to form waves, splashing against the rocks beside them. While neither Ionna nor Seem were bothered by this, the group of monks quickly moved away from the edge. Onin sighed, knowing exactly what was coming next.
"Ionna," she said quietly, "please go back to the Temple. Continue your training inside. I will be there in a moment."
As Ionna and Seem bounced back to the Temple, the other monks converged on her.
"That child cannot stay here," one of the monks hissed. He glared at her imperiously, eyes narrowed in anger. "She cannot control her powers. She could kill us!"
Onin set her staff on the ground, firmly planting it between herself and the monk. "You know it is common for children to have unrefined powers, Aster."
"But it is not common for children to have dark powers!" he argued. "We never should have taken her in. Dark eco is the antithesis of our Precursor duties!"
"She is cursed." This from another monk, Gracia. "You know what the stories say."
"I know that those are stories," Onin replied. "Written by men with fear in their hearts. Our duty as monks of the Precursors is to train and empower those who embody our makers." Onin clasped her hands in a sign of respect. "Dark eco was still made by the Precursors and still carries their power."
"And if the child is cursed?" Aster demanded. "If our fears are correct? If she brings about our destruction? What then?"
Onin stared at him and tilted her chin up. "Then it will be as the Precursors willed it."
