27"This is stupid," Chonshu said to Alice as she fussed with his top. "I can't believe I let you talk me into it."
"If I recall, I didn't talk you into it," Alice replied, giving Chonshu's outfit one final tug into place. "You thought you were hot shit, made a bad bet, and then I kicked your ass because you're not as good at taekwando as you think you are. Anyway, what do you think?"
Chonshu glared at her before looking in the mirror. It was...well.
The blouse was crisp, white, and exceedingly frilly in the chest area. On top of that was a short, cropped red jacket with gold trimming Alice had in her closet for some reason, then below was the also exceedingly frilly skirt that stuck out around his waist, and finally the red thigh-high stockings to complete the ensemble. Alice stood behind him with a happy smile, clearly pleased with her efforts.
"...I can't believe I lost," Chonshu said.
Alice laughed. "You look great! Hm..." She leaned in and looked Chonshu over with calculating eyes. "Needs a hat," she declared, and shoved a wide summer hat with flowers on his head. "There! Now just come over here and I'll do your make-up."
"I can do my own make-up!" Chonshu protested as she physically dragged him to the bathroom down the hall.
"No you can't, you use too much eyeshadow."
"No such thing," he grumbled.
Alice plopped him down in front of the mirror and started dusting on foundation. "We'll go for the light, natural look," she said. "You've got the face to pull it off. Some mascara, maybe a little bit of lipstick."
"Terry Bogard is a homeless bum and smells like it too. I thought you should know that," Chonshu said as his face disappeared under paint and powder. Alice just hummed and kept going.
"Stop looking so awkward. Smile. Come on, you gotta look cute or no boys will notice you."
"I don't want boys to notice me!"
They strolled down a street in Cheongdam-dong, Alice striding ahead with her unshakable confidence, Chonshu trotting behind like a man who couldn't afford to be late for his own execution. Despite Alice's words, boys were noticing him. A young man turned his head as they passed by, watching them go with clear interest. A group of teenage punks watched them all the way down the street, whispering to themselves. Even some old businessman looked up over his newspaper as they walked past, and Chonshu was sure he was looking at him.
In other words, no one noticed. No one knew the truth. The fools really did think Jin Chonshu, descendant of heroes (turned villains), master of Imperial Fist, 1st dan of taekwando, was a cute girl. The absolute idiots.
He found himself walking a little straighter, casting his glances on passers-by like a king throwing jewels to the masses. And it worked! More men turned to look at him, not Alice. Looks slipped from interested to intrigued. If he smiled in just the right way...yes, that man would die for him. The moron. The warmth of power crackled along his spine, reveling in scraps of devotion he could so easily turn into -
"Don't want boys to notice you, huh?" Alice said with a sly smile.
Chonshu realised he'd been downright making eyes at a college student sipping tea outside a cafe and scrambled to regain his dignity. "It's about power," he said loftily. "You wouldn't understand."
Alice showed no indication of having heard him. "Hey, ice cream! I hear that place's great, wanna stop by?"
"Huh? Oh, sure." Ice cream sounded nice. He remembered a bare second before they went into the small, upscale shop. "Wait, no, I can't order!"
"Why not - oh right, your voice. Well, tell me what you want and I'll get it while you wait outside."
"Uh...I dunno, chocolate and vanilla or something." With a 'wow, boring' tossed over her shoulder, Alice headed inside. Lacking anything better to do, Chonshu settled himself leaning against the window. It was a nice, sunny day, perfect for ice cream. Chonshu watched some pigeons fight over scraps of bread and thought about nothing in particular. Chonrei was supposed to be coming by with his master tomorrow, that would be nice. Maybe they'd hike up Mt. Namsan or something, if Chonrei wasn't sick of mountains after living off in China for a couple years. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice anything amiss until a shadow fell over him.
"Hey there, missy," a sleazy looking guy said, leaning over Chonshu with a filthy smile. "Wanna get some tea with me?"
'No thanks, creep' was on the tip of his tongue before Chonshu remembered: no talking. He had no idea what would happen if he spoke up with his definitely-a-guy voice and didn't want to find out. He was pretty sure beating the shit out of regular people was evil, at least by Mr. Kim's standards, and with teacher's pet Alice just inside... No way. Too risky. He went with silently shaking his head and looking away, hoping the creep got the hint.
He didn't. "Hey, what's wrong, cutie? It's just some tea. Come on, I'll show you a good time."
This was not part of the plan. Chonshu kept ignoring the creep, doing his best to look bored and hoping Alice would finish up with her order soon. He checked inside. Nope, she was still staring at the board, because Alice was completely incapable of just picking a damn flavor. He focused his eyes on her, willing her to telepathically understand that she needed to come save him from Mr. Kim's disapproval.
"I said come on! Stop being so damn stuck-up!" The creep put his hand on Chonshu's shoulder, and that was it. Screw Mr. Kim's training, this guy was getting his ass kicked. Chonshu shook off the hand and stepped back, running through his list of taekwando techniques before deciding 'screw it' and going straight for the Imperial Fist. The power of his ancestors flowed through him and Chonshu brought him arm back in preparation for driving it straight into the creep's stomach.
That was as far as he got. Someone grabbed the creep and tossed him away as easily as a fly before Chonshu could unleash his power. He dropped his arm and blinked.
The creep was furious, puffing himself up and getting in the face of - wait, Chonrei?
Yep, Chonrei was standing there, looking at the creep with undisguised contempt. He spat on the ground and said, in heavily accented Korean: "Loser. Leave."
The creep gave up on life and tried to take a swing, which Chonrei blocked easily. He cracked his knuckles, and amazingly, all of a sudden, the creep found he had a better place to be. He left, ranting about nosy Chinese bastards and frigid bitches, and Chonshu couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Sure, Mr. Kim's punishment for lapses was awful...but he'd kind of been looking forward to putting a jerk in his place.
"You okay?" Chonrei said, still in barely understandable Korean. He struck a pose, closing his eyes and combing his hair up with his fingers in a desperate attempt to look cool. "He went. Okay?"
"It's 'he left', dumbass," Chonshu said in mostly-Chinese. "What are you doing? You look like a dork."
"Wha?" Chonrei stopped preening to stare. Chonshu kept going. "Why are you even here? You're not supposed to arrive until tomorrow. You'd better call ahead or there's not gonna be any food."
"Chonshu?" Chonrei said, face covered in disbelief.
"Of course it's me. You can't even recognize your own brother?" Chonshu rubbed his temple in frustration and ran into...a hat. A girl's hat.
Oh...right.
"Um." He matched Chonrei's stricken look with one of his own. "This isn't what it looks like, I swear!"
Alice popped out of the ice cream parlor, cones in hand. "Here you go! Oh, is that your brother? Welcome to Korea!"
"Stop laughing," Chonshu said peevishly, while eating his ice cream. They'd all sat down at one of the little outdoor tables, and now Chonrei was making a scene. "It's not funny."
Chonrei did not stop. He buried his face in his arms and laughed like he was going to die. "You- You really lost- ahahahahahah! Serves you right!"
"Use English, Alice's here," Chonshu said, less because he wanted Alice to understand and more to annoy his brother.
Alice looked back and forth between them with a wide smile. She didn't know a word of Chinese.
Chonrei finally got his laughter under control and sat up, still smiling fit to crack his face open. "Sorry about that, Alice," he said in reasonable English. "I'm Chonrei, Chonshu's older brother. Pleased to meet you."
"Older by two minutes," Chonshu clarified as the pair shook hands. "And he's not supposed to be here until tomorrow."
"Master Tung wanted to go early," Chonrei said, and snickered. "He didn't think you'd be this...not ready."
"Unprepared." Chonshu glowered. "Next time, call ahead."
"We did," Chonshu said, switching back to Chinese. "We cleared it with Kim, he knows we're coming. Guess he didn't tell you."
Chonshu humphed and went back to his ice cream. Alice took over. "So, how are you enjoying Seoul?" she asked, and Chonrei started going on about his sightseeing plans. Sounded like they hadn't gotten that far...which was a pickle. On one hand, Chonshu would love to show his brother around. On the other, he was still dressed up like a girl and it was way too far to go back to the dojang now. He licked at his ice cream and sulked.
"...and Master Tung saw an...um, old things shop, and he stayed there for awhile." Chonrei straightened up in his chair and looked down the street. "He should be done by now...oh! There!" He pushed his chair away from the table. "I should go see him. If he finds me with a couple girls..."
"...you're in trouble," Chonshu finished for him. He knew, he'd heard plenty about Tung's strictness from Chonrei's letters, and it sounded like he could give Mr. Kim a run for his money. Martial arts instructors were the same the world over.
Chonshu got an idea.
Before Chonrei could finish standing, Chonshu leaned over and grabbed him. "Wha- What're you doing?!" Chonrei sputtered, but Chonshu refused to be deterred. He wrapped his arm around his brother's shoulders and snuggled in, practically jumping in Chonrei's lap...just as Tung ambled up the street.
"Payback, bro," he whispered, grinning wide. He'd like to see Chonrei get out of this one! Chonrei struggled and tried to push him away, but Chonshu prided himself on his tenacity and held on until Tung was right there, watching them.
Chonrei looked at him with the face of a doomed man. "Hello...master."
Chonshu smiled and cuddled up, doing his absolute best to look cute, flirty, and capable of distracting good Chinese boys from their poor old masters.
Tung nodded to all of them and spoke in perfect English. "Hello Chonrei, ladies. Well, it looks like you're enjoying yourselves."
"Hahaha! Of course!" Chonshu said in probably the fakest falsetto anyone had ever done. Chonrei glared at him out of the corner of his eye and Alice looked confused, but Tung just smiled and nodded.
"I'm glad to see it. I'll leave you to it then - Chonrei, don't forget to be at Kim's dojang by six o'clock, or you're not getting dinner. I don't tolerate lateness. Good bye." And then he bowed - Chonrei and Alice nodded back - and turned to leave.
"Master? You're just...leaving?" Chonrei said, sounding distinctly strangled.
"Oh, don't worry about me. I won't make you follow around after an old man when you've made such beautiful acquaintances. Have fun, and don't do anything I wouldn't do when I was your age." And then he - oh god, an ancient grandpa winked at them - and he was gone.
The three of them sat in silence for a long minute. Ice cream dripped on the table.
Chonrei shoved Chonshu off him. "I swear, when we get to the dojang I am going to kick your ass. What the hell was that?"
"Bring it!" Chonshu snapped back, scrambling to keep his ice cream and dignity intact. "Hakkyokuseiken vs taekwando, I'll show you which is stronger. You'd better be prepared!"
Alice sighed. "Boys, boys, that's fine but can we go by Apgujeong-dong first? I'm not done shopping."
A/N:
I WILL NEVER FORGET ALICE CHRYSLER
NEVER
Anyway this happened because I was playing RBS on Neo Geo CD and wondered who that cute girl that showed up in the loading screen before I fought Chonshu was.
...I know you're not going to believe me when I say I'm usually good at anime character gender detection, but I am. Really.
