8A/N: To be completely honest, I have no idea where this little tidbit falls into play timeline wise. It's probably AU. Even though it takes place during Rei and Sachiko's last year, Yumi still has the mental mindset that she's not good enough for Sachiko. So I just kinda omitted her growth throughout the story? Wow I'm an awful person hah.
So yeah. I hope you guys can enjoy this. Follow, favorite, whatever you wanna do. And make sure to comment! Even criticism can be awesome if it help me! -LL
She wasn't good with words. Her tongue seemed to have a problem untangling the multitude of thoughts that bombarded her mind at any given time, and really, she couldn't fault her mouth for the things her brain couldn't work through. Still. It was one thing to dread thinking she was useless and another entirely to be slapped in the face with the information when Sachiko looked utterly spent as she sat across from her.
Yumi wasn't as oblivious as everyone seemed to think. She watched her Onee-sama lift her cup of tea and saw the fatigue hidden behind the action. She saw how her eyes were unusually dull as they skittered over test booklets. She listened to the way her voice seemed to lower as she spoke. Through all the falsified bravado Sachiko put up, she was still just human. Still just a high school girl.
Yumi fought hard with herself over whether or not to speak up. She could think of several things to say, to ask, but none of them seemed right and the last thing she wanted to do was upset her Onee-sama or be chastised in front of the rest of the Yamayurikai counsel. Not that it would be the first time, but she could still be fearful of such a fate.
So instead she glued her eyes to her own stack of booklets and furrowed her brow as she drifted off in consideration. What could Sachiko be upset about now? Midterms were over, and, as far as Yumi was aware, she had nothing major to worry over studying. She hadn't mentioned any family issues; well, she hadn't mentioned any other than those of her father and grandfather, but that was a can of worms Yumi wasn't interested in opening in the slightest. And, as far as she could tell, Yumi herself had done nothing out of the ordinary to displease her Onee-sama.
Yumi gave pause there. Perhaps that was the problem? She hadn't missed some important date or social event, had she? No, that was ridiculous. Right? She marked every important day involved with Sachiko on her calendar. And then sat and counted the minutes till that day arrived. So, no, no important date.
What, then?
"Keep your face like that much longer, and it'll be stuck, Yumi-chan."
Yumi's gaze jerked up at the sound of Yoshino's voice. She blinked and looked around and found all eyes on her and felt her neck flushing with warmth.
Curses. She'd been caught zoning out yet again.
"S-sorry. I guess I just lost track of what I was doing..."
Sachiko was not amused in the slightest. "Sit up straight," she chastised, and Yumi immediately went rigid in her seat. "And stop daydreaming. There's much to do and we won't get anywhere if you don't help, Yumi." The younger girl wanted to fall through the floor, if only to escape the burning of her ears and guilty twist in her stomach.
"Sachiko, don't be so hard on her," Rei murmured from where she sat, marking opened booklets in sequence. "It's been a long day for all of us. No need to get hostile."
Her friend seemed ready to quip something in turn, but faltered at the last moment and turned back to her work. She simply nodded, once, and didn't say anything after. Yumi, however, looked near to tears, Rei noticed. Embarrassed tears, but tears none the less.
That wasn't completely true. Yumi was more angry at herself than she was embarrassed. If she was going to be called out in the first place she might as well have made it worth the flustering by asking Sachiko what was bothering her. Now, she didn't want to say anything, least of all to antagonize the one girl that could give her a heart attack just by glaring. So she tried to inhale steadily and shook her head to get herself to focus more on her work.
The minutes passed by in a grueling sort of manner. Slow and uneventful and full to brimming with tense atmosphere. Everyone could feel the awkwardness wedging itself in the steadily growing cracks of their attention.
Until, finally, Rei set down her pen. She flipped closed all of the booklets and began stacking them, and beside her Yoshino took the moment to raise her arms above her head to stretch. Yumi watched out the corner of her eye but didn't dare drop her own pen until, across from her, Sachiko did the same with a small sigh. The younger girl let out a breath she didn't realize she was even holding and silently began gathering what materials she could reach, without disturbing her Onee-sama.
"Well, I think we've slaved away enough for one day," Rei spoke up as she reached out to wipe a smudge from across Yoshino's cheek. The girl frantically swatted at her, exclaiming something along the lines of, "Stop!" even as she giggled. Rei then turned to her fellow friends and smiled. "Wouldn't you say it's time we started heading home?"
Yumi was completely agreeable. Though she loved the council and she loved the people she was here with, she couldn't help admitting that it was a bit more than she could mentally handle at the moment. She preferred to do her brooding in the safety of her room where Onee-sama, and everyone for that matter, couldn't see her.
But, as if in defiance, Sachiko spoke up. Sharply. "I'll stay behind a bit longer, if it's all the same to you. Walk safely, Rosa Foetida." It was rare that Sachiko spoke so formally with what Yumi considered the girl's best friend, and seemed not only to catch everyone's attention, but also drew a somewhat confused expression from Rei herself.
Yumi knew it was now or never, though. Almost too enthusiastically she stood up, scooping up the booklets. "I can stay here with you, Onee-sama. I'll help clean up."
The raven haired girl blinked up at her petite souer only a moment, before looking off to the side and shaking her head. "No, Yumi. It's okay, I can do it myself. There's no need to trouble you. Please, go ahead and go home."
Yumi visibly deflated. She didn't want to argue. She didn't want to start a fight she knew would only end with her crying and Sachiko angrier at her than ever. But she also couldn't sit on her hands knowing that something was more wrong with the girl than she'd originally perceived.
"It wouldn't be any trouble, Onee-sama, really. My parents aren't even home yet, and Yuki won't mind having the house to himself a little while longer. I'll wash the cups and then help put all of this away." She briefly motioned at the multitude of papers with her wrist before stacking her tests atop Rei's and Yoshino's.
Sachiko didn't complain. But neither did she respond and the brunette winced slightly as Yoshino brushed by, a small smile all the encouragement she could give the girl in silence. "See you tomorrow, Yumi-chan."
Rei was right behind her and Yumi waved them both out before closing the door behind them and sighing as quietly as she could. When she looked back up from her slight prop against the door, she found her Onee-sama in the same exact position she'd remained in. Silently sitting and, if Yumi's eyes weren't playing tricks on her, frowning intently at the table.
Instead of immediately breaching the subject and getting herself in a bunch of trouble she wasn't prepared for, the younger girl took the chance to shuffle over and gather all the cups, placing them carefully atop the awaiting tray set in the center of the table. After so many impromptu set backs, most of which were insisted upon by herself, honestly, Yumi had become well accustomed to this quiet cleaning routine.
She moved over to the tiny kitchen setup, began to wash each cup thoroughly before setting them in their respective spaces inside the cabinet above the sink. She set the tray to the side for tomorrow and dried her hands on a small hand towel that she then left spread out to dry. When she turned back to begin the arduous task of gathering all the papers, however, she let out a tiny gasp.
She hadn't heard Sachiko get up. She hadn't heard the chair or her footsteps or anything that could have alerted her to any sort of change. But there she was, dark eyed and looking over her petite souer like some sort of daring goddess. Yumi felt the breath still in her throat as she quickly glanced over her Onee-sama's expression before dropping her gaze. Confusion, maybe? Concern? What did she have to be concerned about?
When the older girl spoke, it was in a voice Yumi couldn't honestly say she recognized. Quiet and small and timid in a manner that was so unlike the girl it came from. "What's wrong, Yumi?"
Yumi started. Her gaze jerked back up even as her brow furrowed and her mouth opened in unspoken question. What was wrong? She should be asking Sachiko that, not the other way around. "B-beg your pardon, Onee-sama?"
The raven haired girl furrowed her own brow and reached out without thought, with fingers that were firm but gentle when they brushed against her petite souer's cheek. "You've been unusually tentative today, Yumi. Thinking about something, perhaps? Is there anything you want to talk to me about?"
Yumi wasn't sure whether she should voice her actual thoughts or not. But then, there it was again. That uncertainty. Here Sachiko was, asking her if she wanted to talk. And here she was, letting herself lose sight of what needed to be said and instead getting lost in her own head. She shook her head and smiled timidly up at the taller girl.
"There's nothing wrong, Onee-sama. I just... was worried."
"About?"
She bit the bullet. "About you."
Sachiko blinked. Looked at her in this inquisitive sort of way that would have been funny if the circumstances were different but right now just felt awkwardly searching. Yumi could just see the surprise rushing through those dark eyes. "Me? Why were you worried about me, Yumi?"
Because I love you, she could have confessed. Because it's my job, she could have joked. Because you matter to me, and you seemed down, she could have admitted. But none of these things unraveled along her tongue. Instead, what slipped out was, "I don't know." And she cursed herself for it because the second it left her lips Sachiko frowned and pulled away and even took a step back. Yumi hadn't realized how close they had been standing, but now the distance between them felt like a canyon.
"Never speak without reason, Yumi," Sachiko chastised, and the younger girl winced at her tone. Snippy, almost. Certainly disappointed.
"Y-yes, Onee-sama, forgive me."
She heard a small noise of acknowledgement come from Sachiko, before she watched the feet of the older girl as Sachiko turned and silently slunk back to the table, readying to tidy the area up. Yumi sighed internally and, when she knew she could walk again without her rubber-feeling legs giving out on her, followed.
Though it was something she hated to admit, especially to herself, she knew exactly what she was doing as she hurried along the paved pathways towards her first class. She was intentionally speeding up her morning routine so as to avoid any and all interaction with Sachiko. Not out of spite, or even fear, though both could be called upon as she kept her head down and mouth shut. No, this act came from little more than pent up concern that the more she showcased just how awkwardly she held their brittle relationship, the more Sachiko would realize this wasn't the fun trip down easy street she may have wanted.
Yumi dreaded the day the rosary around her neck would feel like a noose, the day Sachiko would stand before her and wait with outstretched palm for more than just the heavy reminder of their shattering bond; she would be awaiting that aching piece of Yumi the brunette had long since recognized was no longer her own, and could be taken and crushed by none other than her Onee-sama.
She shuddered at the very thought.
As she rounded the corner, realizing very suddenly she had at some point entered the actual school building, she bumped lightly into a figure coming her way. The impact wasn't enough to throw her off, not physically, but she found her mentality reeling as a tiny, unsuspecting squeak left her. When she looked up, it was none other than Tsutako.
"Oh! S-sorry, Tsutako-san," Yumi blurted out of habit, the grip she had along her bag's handle tightening insistently.
Her friend only grinned, though made a show of quickly checking the camera securely hanging by its band around her neck. "It's okay. It's good to see you, Yumi-san. Normally you're at the Rose Mansion this early, so it's actually really good to see you. Outside of class, that is. Or lunch." She tapped her chin in muted thought. "Huh. I guess we run into one another way more than I thought."
Yumi couldn't fight the small simper that flitted over her lips. "So it seems. What are you doing right now?"
Tsutako's own grin grew, and she raised her hand further to tap the end of her glasses. "What I'm best at. I still have about a month to gather as many images as I can for the paper. Nothing is set in stone, but Mami-san said she might be able to get me a slot for my own feature."
"Really? Tsutako-san, that's amazing!" There was real enthusiasm radiating from her. Yumi couldn't help it. Even when she had all of these things swirling around inside and making a mess of her mind, she couldn't keep the giddiness from herself as she watched the pride dancing across a friend's face. Tsutako deserved that, at least.
The taller girl let out something closer to an exhale than a laugh but still nodded and shifted in place. "Tell me about it. But, I should get going. See you in class, Yumi-san."
The brunette didn't get a chance to respond before the girl was sidestepping around her and turning the corner, likely to go off and 'scope' potential muses. She still wouldn't admit it, but Yumi knew that what she did was very much spying. And, in some cases - namely the Roses - even went as far as borderline stalking. But Yumi didn't mind all that much. After all, it was only Tsutako being Tsutako.
Shaking her head to get herself back on track, Yumi shifted her bag from one hand to the other and continued on her way. She passed a class, briefly glanced in to find only a few people inside. Mostly grouped together, chatting before the day began. A second class, same thing. Her class.
There were two main groups, she noticed, as she trudged inside. The normal two groups, one at the back of the classroom and the other just shy of the doorway. Only one or two people actually took the initiative to break free from their conversations to glance her way. Her gaze was once more down, however, and she made it to the window and her desk without incident.
After that, well, it was more or less just a waiting game.
She wasn't ready. She knew that even as she gathered her stuff, but the notion seemed to sink in even further as Yoshino and Shimako - who was finally back after a few days of illness - met her to start their normal trek to the Rose Mansion. Noriko met them halfway and the conversation switched from one subject to another and Yumi found herself zoning out. Once more, not out of spite, but concern.
How mad would Sachiko be at her today, after what transpired yesterday afternoon?
After their extremely short 'heart to heart' things had been tense. They hadn't spoken as they'd finished their jobs and Sachiko was the first to huff and brush off her uniform and turn to the door. The words had been bubbling on the tip of Yumi's tongue, something she wasn't sure about but needed, desperately, to voice. In the end, however, Sachiko had opened the door and instructed Yumi to gather her things - the first they'd spoken in nearly fifteen minutes - and they'd left. Yumi hadn't even been able to voice a goodbye before they had parted ways.
She wasn't sure which part out of all of that hurt the most.
"Yumi-chan, what's wrong?" Yoshino suddenly cut through her thoughts.
Yumi blinked and looked up to find, not too surprisingly at this point, all eyes on her. Her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment and she still averted her eyes, but she gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "N-nothing. Nothing, sorry, Yoshino-chan. I don't mean to worry you."
Upon looking at her friend's face, it was all too obvious she hadn't fooled the girl one bit. But when Yoshino went to speak, Shimako murmured instead. "She's probably just dreading all the grading we're going to have to finish today." There was a lightness to her voice that Yumi hadn't heard in a while; she never the less silently thanked the girl for her understanding.
Yoshino snorted quite loudly. "Oh please. You weren't even here yesterday, Shimako-chan. We're nearly done at this point. You got off way easier than you make it sound."
"Perhaps. But it's still awful."
Caught a bit off guard by her souer's casual joking, Noriko actually balked a moment. Then giggled, in this sort of way that had Shimako giving her an easy smile and Yoshino full on laughing. Yumi, however, couldn't find anything other than dread filling her gut.
The Rose Mansion loomed before them. Yuri silently cursed her part in the Yamayurikai, then cursed that curse because how dare even she think such a thing. The door was pulled open, though she didn't spare a thought as to see who by. They all piled up the stairs. Her feet grew heavier with each step, until she was at the back of the group and at least two steps behind the other girls. She didn't even realize she was holding her breath when they reached the landing and Noriko was the first to enter the council room.
Followed by Shimako. Then Yoshino. And, lastly, Yumi. Who didn't know whether to keep her eyes open or closed, or breath or not, or suck it all up and enter or bold like the coward she so desperately wished to be.
In the end, it didn't even matter.
Because as she slipped in through the doorway and quickly turned to shut the door, she briefly caught a glimpse of her Onee-sama sitting at the table. And even though she was fearful she also knew she would never - could never - abandon the girl. Not for anything.
And when she turned back around to face the table, only catching the blurred motion of the other girls sitting down, she was blinded by Sachiko's smile. Light and airy, something Yumi realized in that moment she hadn't seen in a while. That something that had tightened in her chest yesterday and still hadn't let up finally loosened.
It was all made even sweeter by, "Hello, Yumi." God, if a person could live off of a voice alone then she'd record Sachiko's and play it for the rest of eternity.
"H-hello, Onee-sama." She bowed respectively before making her way over, pulling out her chair across from her souer's and sitting. Sachiko watched her the entire way, which was both unsettling and embarrassing and had her wondering if maybe she'd done something wrong. Why was she so bad at doing anything right?
They lapsed into a quiet sort of existence, even as their friends chatted among themselves no more than a chair away, and Yumi didn't even attempt to peek. She kept her eyes on her tests and tried as hard as she possibly could to mentally commit to correctly marking each and every mistake she came across. If Sachiko thought her behavior was odd, she said nothing in turn.
The minutes lapsed by. Yumi didn't hesitate to retrieve her Onee-sama's cup when she noticed it was empty. With a silent bow and forced simper she made her way over to the tea set, bet my Yoshino when she began pouring.
"Hey, what's up with you and Sachiko-sama?" the girl muttered, waiting patiently to pour Rei's tea when Yumi was finished.
Yumi hesitated, hand hovering over the sugar. Excuses slammed into her, but none of them sounded right or good enough and she honestly knew that her face would give her away long before she'd even finished trying to convince Yoshino. So she spoke the truth. "I have no idea. Onee-sama has been... distant. Again. I don't know what to do."
A gentle palm caressed her arm lightly, but when she glanced over, Yoshino had her eyes on the cups. "It'll be okay. You always figure something out, Yumi-chan. Just let me know if you need to talk."
That was... unusual. So much so that Yumi openly gaped and had to watch as her friend walked away. Though it was always in the name of righteousness, Yoshino was more action than word. Yumi had expected prying or even for the girl to turn around and confront Sachiko like she was prone to do. Instead, she sat down right beside Rei and went back to her work.
Yumi wondered if maybe she was actually just losing her mind and everyone else was completely fine.
Realizing she was taking far longer than was normal, Yumi quickly finished her task and made her way back to her seat, setting down Sachiko's cup gingerly onto the table. Her Onee-sama briefly glanced up, another smile all the thanks she gave, before looking away again. Yumi wondered if that was really enough or not.
She finished another booklet. Closed it and reached for another, one of the last two she had. She took the moment to sigh and look around and take in her fellow council members. Shimako was leaning closer to Noriko, marking something on the page before her petite souer and murmuring something quietly. Rei had long since finished her own work and was taking the time to help Yoshino, who looked beyond bored. And Sachiko, Yumi noticed when she glanced over, was staring off to the side.
Daydreaming, she realized, as she her eyes flickered down and she took in the tapping pen and open book. The same exact crime she'd called Yumi out for yesterday.
Yumi swallowed. Glanced at her friends before reaching across the table as inconspicuously as possible and tapping her own pen against her Onee-sama's. Sachiko's eyes immediately darted her way.
She gave a sheepish sort of smile and retracted. "Are you okay, Onee-sama?" she asked as quietly as possible while still being able to be heard.
Sachiko blinked. Hesitated before nodding slowly. "Yes, I believe so. Why do you ask, Yumi?"
The brunette winced. Her tongue decided now would be a good time to do the tango and for a split moment she was left floundering for a reason she knew all too well. "B-because. I worry, Onee-sama. You don't seem to be yourself lately."
Dark eyebrows came down as piercing azure burned into her. Yumi felt she just might combust should Sachiko wish it. "Who else could I be if not myself, Yumi?" she asked. As if it wasn't a riddle. As if Yumi's muddled brain could possibly figure out the correct answer.
The younger girl very nearly whimpered. "I-I just meant that... You seem... distant. I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me, Onee-sama."
Sachiko's eyes narrowed. She cocked her head and the grip around her pen tightened and she became remotely aware that they, indeed, had an audience. So much for being quiet. "There's nothing to talk about, Yumi."
Yumi shook her head as if it would throw the answer askew and away. "But there is. I-I want to know what's wrong, Onee-sama. Please."
"Now isn't the time for this, Yumi."
"B-but I-"
"Not. Now."
Yumi froze. That tone was hard and cold and finalizing in a way that made the entire room feel like a holding cell. A cell that was filling with water with no escape. She blinked and looked away and found that her eyes were the faucets. When she spoke, her voice wavered. "Yes, Onee-sama."
All their friends were silent. Yumi felt as if she were being put on trial. And she couldn't take it. She snapped.
Before anyone could comment, least of all those people being Sachiko, she'd bolted from her chair. The flimsy thing fell, thudding loudly against the floor but she didn't care. Her back was to the room and the door was suddenly open and she forget all about the no running rule. Or to pick up her skirts. Or how she wasn't supposed to 'embarrass' her Onee-sama.
A gentle breeze blew through the trees, the smell of cherry blossoms ripe in the air as she eased herself down onto the stone steps at the back of the school. It was where she and Shimako and, at times, even Yoshino had eaten lunch together. Before Noriko, though Yumi wasn't bitter over that. True, she missed hanging out with her closest friends as often as they used to, but she was happy for them.
At least Noriko and Shimako knew how to talk to one another.
Yumi wiped absently at her eyes with the backs of her wrists, sniffling quietly as she leaned forward, elbows resting along her knees. Sachiko would more than likely throw a fit if she caught her petite souer in such a state, but Yumi found that it didn't even matter. If they weren't on speaking terms to begin with then she doubted Sachiko would take the time to yell at her.
She just couldn't understand. What had she done that was so bad Sachiko had to refuse her in such a publically indecent manner? Was this really the first step to the long awaited nightmare of losing her Onee-sama? That thought alone had her fisting the front of her uniform, as if by clutching the fabric she could sooth her heart.
Her eyes drifted up to the trees. How tall they stood. How proud. How she wished she knew how to stand in such a manner, too. Maybe then Sachiko would look at her in the same light Yumi did her Onee-sama. Maybe then she could find it in herself to confess.
The thought was... more than a little painful. She clutched her uniform more insistently, and closed her eyes, and tried to breath in evenly through her nose. It didn't really work, but she could least say she wasn't dying. Which had to count for something, right?
"Yumi."
A small yelp left her as the brunette very nearly jumped from the steps, eyes instantly opening as she twisted round. Standing at the corner of the building was... Sachiko. Arms crossed and eyes on the same trees Yumi had been admiring. She looked just as elegant as ever, though her stance spoke of a tenseness not found when Yumi's gaze washed across her face. She just looked calm. Collected.
Everything Yumi couldn't be.
The younger girl looked back away and tried to swallow. It caught somewhere in her throat. "I-I'm sorry, Onee-sama. I can't seem to do anything other than disappoint you."
A minute pause. Then, "That's not true, Yumi. I've never been prouder of you."
Yumi's eyes flicked back to Sachiko. Her brows furrowed as finally their eyes met. There it was. All the emotion that couldn't find a foothold along her features was swimming in the confines of her eyes. "What?"
The older girl smiled. A gentle, earnest sort of smile that looked nothing like the ones she'd given Yumi in the Rose Mansion. No, these held an air of honesty that was all open. Inviting. And when she spoke, her voice wavered for the first time in a long time. "You can see right through me, can't you Yumi? You always seem to know when it hurts."
Yumi floundered. Pushed herself up and off the steps and took a tentative step towards her Onee-sama. "I-I don't... What hurts, Onee-sama?"
Sachiko mirrored that tentative step. Hugged herself around the middle but didn't dare break their joined gaze. Her face seemed to soften even as her eyes began to shimmer. "I thought if I pushed you away, maybe it wouldn't come to this. But you're really persistent, Yumi. So much so that I can't-" Her voice broke, and something akin to shame washed over her.
Yumi felt her heart lurch when a tear broke through Sachiko's defenses and began mapping a path down her cheek. She swallowed harshly and pushed herself forward, step by step, until the only distance that remained between them was two feet of hesitation she knew had to be crossed by Sachiko herself. She didn't know what was happening, but she wasn't about to mess it all up by pushing the girl in front of her into a corner.
She watched as thin lips wavered, as those same misty eyes that looked at her fought to keep looking through their haziness, as lithe arms fell to Sachiko's side because they didn't want to hug themselves anymore.
Sachiko closed the gap between them.
"Oh Yumi," she breathed into the brunette's hair as her petite souer immediately encircled her waist with steady arms. Her own wrapped possessively around the smaller girl's shoulder's, pulling her in close. Her hands bunched in the material at Yumi's back, trying to get as close to her as possible. Trying to prove to herself that Yumi was there, in her arms, real and solid.
Yumi mumbled something incoherent against her shoulder. Buried her own splotchy face against the scratchy school uniform and breathed in the smell of lavender. They stayed that way for what felt like a lifetime but was only a few moments. And Sachiko spoke without thought.
"I love you, Yumi. Oh I'm in love you."
Yumi smiled, very nearly laughed against her Onee-sama's shoulder. She forced herself to pull back, look up. Catch those glittering azure orbs and smile a watery simper. Her tongue tangled, and the only thing she managed was, "Sachiko..." But it was enough. Because the next moment, Sachiko's lips were pressed to hers. Soft and sweet, but also salty, but so much better than anything she'd ever experienced in her life.
She wasn't good with words. But that didn't matter, either, when actions were so much better.
