4Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-sensei
Title: Hypnogaja - Lullaby
Forever sweet and never ending
Being with Sasuke was easy. After the war.
When the mess was over and the trials were finished, when they gave all to rebuild and restructure and maintain and move on, when the redemption was granted and the peace finally came.
Sasuke's journeys were long. It took years for him to come back to the Village, to come to terms with himself and his deeds that couldn't have been undone. When he finally did, he blended in almost seamlessly. That was solely Naruto's doing, though.
They moved in together immediately after the Uchiha came back, because really, it was the only option Naruto would ever accept, and it quickly became one of the best things he experienced in life. He had his best friend, his beloved, his lover always close, always just a touch away and it felt like freedom and like hope. Like a home he never really had before.
And… Naruto was happy. Finally happy, happier than he could've ever thought to be before.
He reached his lifelong dream and fulfilled his goals, he had a family, patched up and violent sometimes but a family nonetheless, strong and loving, made of people mighty and loyal, who fought beside him on his lowest and been there to help him reach the heights. He had Hinata, tender and kind, always caring and wishing him best and Sakura to beat out the stupid. He had his senseis to turn for help with any silly problem and his friends to hit a spar. He had an entire Village to care for and keep in good shape, that loved him and praised him in exchange.
Life was good.
Being with Sasuke was quiet.
He always had a smile to offer, small and understanding and warm, and if his usual reserved attitude changed anyhow after his return, it was only for more tranquillity rather than the constant edge.
So they lived.
Tucked away in their cosy house whenever there was time to spare, with no one to judge and no one to know how far, how deep their friendship really went.
So they lived.
Hidden from the world, with only family to understand and to not question.
o0o
Naruto always spoke of Sasuke fondly.
Whether it was still during their childish years, when he chased him breathless around the world or when it was all fresh and fragile, new order learning to crawl from the ashes of the old world.
Sakura never ceased to be baffled whenever her Hokage, her best friend spoke of his right hand man with flickers of light in his vast, vast eyes that's seen more than one world and conquered more than one unbeatable enemy. When he spoke of his dangerous travels to realms unknown for the sake of everything they've built so far and his rare visits home.
Shikamaru only ever sighed and scratched his head whenever Sasuke was mentioned, because all that paperwork he'd made him gone through, all that mess was nothing short of troublesome.
Hinata only smiled, concerned, flushing softly every time Naruto's attention fixated on her, never really able to shake off her crush.
Chōji didn't like to talk about Sasuke at all. He understood the man earned his ransom, but some things, even if forgiven, should not be forgotten so easily.
Ino had Sai. Sasuke was not her problem anymore.
Kakashi has seen and experienced enough of PTSD in his life to know better than to ask and Iruka only ever wanted his favourite student, his honorary son, to be happy and safe.
Naruto always spoke of Sasuke fondly, good times or bad, to his friends and foes alike, always with a smile and a spark and the want.
And nobody, really, had to know how…
"Sasuke," he breathes, when they're alone, hands clenching hard on his hips, pulling closer and closer and closer, hungry and desperate.
"Sasuke," he breathes in between the kisses, frantic and hasty and shivering, marking wet paths of adoration all over his back.
"Sasuke," he breathes, moving roughly inside him and losing rhythm to take a deeper breath.
"Sasuke," he breathes, curled and sleepy and cuddly, fingers tracing meaningless shapes on the back his neck.
Sasuke… Sasuke… Sasuke…
o0o
Hinata couldn't really pinpoint the exact moment when everything fell apart.
Maybe it was just brief hours after the war, when bloodied and broken, lighter by one arm but never defeated, Naruto smiled and stood up once again to fix the world.
Maybe later, when the Sixth insisted on his training to become his successor and all Naruto saw for months were scrolls and books and dust, always dust in the freshly rebuild academy classroom, just for him to occupy.
Maybe just before the ceremony, when he finally lost it, once again consumed by the old, unforgiving hands of inferiority, cultivated deep inside his mind and never really healed since the days of his youth.
And maybe… maybe there was never a crack point. Not really. Maybe he was just never whole.
Hinata couldn't also really pinpoint the moment when she decided to stay by his side, no matter what.
Maybe when he first acknowledged her, young and weak and still so very broken, and let his sunshine light her dark.
Maybe when he saved them all the for the first time, beaming with raw, fresh power and determination that could eventually bend all of his enemies.
Maybe when the war was over, the Mad Goddess sealed and no longer a threat and Naruto once again stood up to share his light with the devastated, broken world and swore to make it better.
Maybe she always knew she'll end up by his side, pulled in towards his Sun from the very first moments, silent and supportive in the way nobody else ever was. Maybe she just didn't want to acknowledge the price.
Because she had to cut her hair and wear a Henge whenever she was home. Because she had to swallow the embarrassment of taking anatomy lessons with Sakura on the matters she'd never thought she'd have the need of. Because it was never her name her husband screamed when he was coming hard inside her body and never really her body he was coming in.
Because Sasuke died that day on a ragged battlefield before Sakura had a chance to treat his wounds and Naruto refused to accept it ever since.
So she let him believe.
A/N: This is kinda disturbing and I feel like my own fic shouldn't be able to stab me in the feels every time I reread it o.o
Cross-posted from AO3
