Author's Notes: This story takes place in the 616 Universe. All events up until X-Men Red #5 is considered canon in this story. That being said, I'm just going to ignore the events of Phoenix Endsong, as I just simply hated everything about that mini. WARNING: This story is Scott/Jean (JOTT) filled with a heaping dose of angst. If you're looking for Scott/Emma, you'll never find that with me. Look elsewhere. That being said, this story will not be bashing any characters. I'm just giving fair warning that if you want Scott and Emma to end up together, you'll be wasting your time on my fic.

Summary: Cyclops is back from the dead. This is his journey as he re-establishes relationships, makes peace with the decisions he made as well as mend bridges he had burned.

Disclaimer: I do not own The X-Men. I do not make any money off them. This is purely a hobby.

Chapter 1

Scott Summers groggily opened his eyes. His vision was blurry, he couldn't make out his surroundings. He blinked several times, not just to try to see better, but to try to clear the cobwebs in his head.

His vision gradually returned and he was able to see his surroundings through an all-too-familiar shade of red. He realized he had a pair of visors on. Thank god for that! It hadn't even crossed his mind to check when he had first opened his eyes. Scott mentally scolded himself for being so careless.

But he was supposed to be dead... right? The last thing he recalled was standing in his wife's arms in New Mexico with the Phoenix force hovering over them. He looked around the room he was in. It looked quite futuristic, yet very sparse. A sort of medbay? He noticed he was hooked up to some monitors. Where was he? What in heavens happened since?

"You're awake." Scott heard the sweetest voice he thought he'd never hear again. He turned around.

"Jean," Scott answered almost breathlessly. "You're... I mean, I'm... Where...?"

His wife just gave him a small smile, yet it was a smile that could always melt his heart. "Take it easy. You're safe. You're at Searebro. We're several miles underwater."

"Underwater? Searebro?" Scott asked incredulously.

Jean just crinkled her nose and shrugged nonchalantly. It was a gesture comfortingly familiar to Scott.

"Jean, how am I here? I... uh... I died. Is this real?" Scott asked, touching his arms and chest as if to ascertain for himself that he wasn't dreaming.

"You don't remember?" Jean asked.

"I'm afraid not... The last thing I remember was being with you in New Mexico. The Phoenix force was there... It was hovering over us... I told you I loved you... I wanted to say more, but you stopped me, there wasn't time. I died in your arms," Scott whispered, taken aback by how painful that memory was. He had wanted so badly to live.

Jean sighed and walked towards him, sitting on his bed. She took his hand. She didn't say anything for quite some time. She had an almost sad look on her face. Scott took a moment to observe the woman before him. She looked exactly as he remembered her. She was as beautiful as ever. She wore a costume that was reminiscent of the one she had when they just rejoined the X-Men after leaving X-Factor.

"Look, Scott," Jean finally broke the silence. "You've been through a lot. Take some time to recuperate. I know you have a lot of questions, but I think it's best that you gather your strength first. Just know you're safe, and that you're amongst friends."

Jean leaned forward, as if asking for permission if she could give him a hug. Scott didn't make her wait long for her answer. He took her in his arms and enveloped her in an embrace that did wonders to soothe his heart. It was a heart, he realized, that had been broken since he lost her. He was a man dying of thirst. And she was his water. He never wanted to let go.

After a moment, she gently pulled away. "I'm glad you're back, Scott. I've uhh... I've missed you," Jean said.

Scott couldn't find the words he wanted to say. Saying he had missed her could not begin to describe the scope of how he felt when he had lost her. Jean made her way to the door.

"Wait!" Scott said, desperate to keep her with him for even a moment longer, but not really knowing what to say.

Jean turned around, a question on her delicate face.

"I umm... I feel okay. Can't we talk? I mean, I'm alive again for god's sake. How that's even possible? I have so many questions. Please... Please stay, Jean," Scott said, practically begged.

"... I can't. I have some place I need to be. But I'll be back. We'll talk then. I promise," Jean answered. And before Scott could say more, she quickly exited the room, not giving him a chance.

At that moment

Standing outside the door, Jean willed her heart to stop racing. It was the first time Scott had woken up since they brought him back there. For the last forty eight hours that Scott had been unconscious, she had both yearned for and dreaded the moment that had just passed between them. She was an emotional mess.

She thought she had made peace with the fact that her husband was lost to her. She had moved on with her life... had put it all behind her. Scott had been taken by death's cruel grip, and she had accepted the fact she would never see him again. Jean snickered inwardly. She above all should know better that death didn't always mean the end.

A part of her wanted nothing more than to go back in the room, let him take her in his arms and pretend the last several years never happened. She wished with all her heart that he had never merged with Apocalypse, that he never had his affair with Emma Frost... that Jean herself never died.

Her thoughts were whisked back to the time she and Scott raised Nathan in the future. Despite the apocalyptic world they had lived in, it was the happiest time of her life. For a moment, she wanted that back with every fibre of her being, so much so that it actually felt like a physical pain. But she shoved it aside. There was no sense in crying over spilled milk.

Her mind then wandered to the time just before she had died. Scott had said he had made a decision between her and Emma. She had died before she found out what his choice had been. In hindsight, what did it matter? The moment her husband had to make a decision between his wife and his mistress was the moment that spelled it was over.

She hadn't lied when she told him she would always love him. She still loved him and always would. But love had never been their problem. She had to accept the fact that they weren't the same people anymore. They had changed. She was wise enough to know that love did not fix all. Perhaps, it was simply that she and Scott had a great run, and that's all it would be.

Jean sighed exhaustedly. She looked at her watch and contemplated whether it was her place to let Emma know that Scott was back. She wasn't sure where things stood between those two. She hadn't asked her friends how things played out in that relationship since she came back. She didn't want to reopen old wounds. Realizing how tired she was, she decided she'd make a decision the next day.

To be continued...

Let me know if you're interested in me continuing this story. I'm not sure myself. I've wanted to do a fic for a long time on Scott and Jean truly dealing with the events in Morrison's New X-Men run. I wanted to do a character study and relationship study in this fic. My main premise is, can two soulmates who have been through as much as Scott and Jean, overcome infidelity? Or are some things unfixable? I'd love your feedback, and if there's enough interest, I'll make this my next project. Cheers!