4Warning Infinity War Spoilers Below. Read at your own risk.
So did you want some extra sadness to go with the rest of your sadness? Yes? Well here you go. I've seen a couple of Thor and Rocket grieve together fics but not nearly enough and I wanted to have the rest of the Avengers there making grief filled stupid decisions so here you go. And now I just feel sad for everybody.
Drink Until We Forget
"Oh God," Steve Rogers gasped out sitting down on the ground hard as he stared at the place Bucky had just been, where he had just crumbled to dust right in front of Steve's eyes.
"What is this? What the hell is happening?' Rhodey asked confusion in his voice.
"We lost." Thor said grimly. Steve couldn't bring himself to look at the god. Thor had come closer than any of them to killing Thanos, but even that hadn't been good enough.
"What are we going to do?" Rhodey asked in a small voice as he looked around. Steve struggled to come up with something, something to reassure him that everything would be alright, that there was hope. But, he couldn't find the words there was only emptiness and a building sense of guilt. He'd failed Bucky again, he'd failed everyone again.
Thor's axe clanged to the ground, "There is only one thing I intend to do." The Thunder God announced, 'I'll take the advice of a friend." Thor used his palm to swipe at his remaining eye. Steve could swear he was wiping away tears, "I intend to find some liquor and drink it until I can no longer stand upright does anyone care to join me?" His tone was artificially light as he glanced expectantly at the remaining team's faces.
Silence met him in the clearing. Thor nodded once and then turned his cape fluttering behind him as he walked away.
The Racoon who had been fighting besides Bucky stood up and followed him. One by one the surviving Avengers followed Thor. Steve gave one last look at the place Bucky had faded in. It was unremarkable. Nothing indicated he had even been there at all not even a pile of ash. It was Deja Vu all over again. He couldn't help but think of another bar 70 years ago, with shattered bottles everywhere and teary eyed Peggy standing in the doorframe. He really hoped Thor had some of the Asgardian stuff on him.
-x-
They'd passed hundreds of people wandering around the streets calling out for loved ones. People that would never come home. They kept walking.
The bar was empty when they found it, Ash behind the counter. They let themselves in. There was gentle croon of music that echoed hollowly around the room. Some song that was way too peppy drifted through the room. Steve tuned it out.
Natasha went straight to the bar, she jumped over it and began pulling the bottles off the shelves and setting them on the counter. One by one the cupboards were emptied when she completed her task she grabbed three bottles of vodka and walked across the room.
She passed Steve and pushed one into his hands. Then she slunk into the corner of the room, pulled the cap off of a bottle and took a long drag. She was close enough that Steve could still see her and probably more importantly that she could still see all of them, make sure they still existed. The other Avengers watched her settle in but said nothing. They were all morning in their own way. For the assassin it seemed to be to sneak off by herself and lick her wounds. Steve couldn't blame her, not when he really wished he could crawl back into the ice right now.
Banner and Rhodey had settled themselves at the barstools tentatively finding their own bottles to nurse. They said nothing and they just looked exhausted. Rhodey covered faces with his hands and Banner had his head resting on his forearms staring at the wall.
Thor and the raccoon who had introduced himself with a gruff 'Rocket' were settled down at a table with dozens of bottles resting on it.
Steve felt numb as he went to sit down next to Bruce. He had a good vantage point to see everyone and keep an eye on the rest of his team. Oh God he couldn't take it if anymore of them faded away.
He was two bottles of gin in when he heard the song change.
A chipper, Sun is shinin' in the sky- Resounded around the room.
Steve saw Thor visibly flinch as he overheard the lyrics. It was followed by the boom of thunder from outside.
There ain't a cloud in sight. It's stopped rainin'. Everybody's celebrating.
"Groot loved this song," Rocket whispered as he clutched a stein of some amber alcohol Thor had poured for him, "He used to dance to it when we were on missions. He was still just a baby." Rocket asked his ears drooping. Steve turned away not wanting to intrude on the little creature's pain. He looked down at the bottle of Vodka Natasha had tucked into his hands. He popped it open and drank.
"I know Rabbit. I know," Thor said resting his hand on his furry head and rubbing.
"You know what he called me?" The Raccoon asked.
"I heard." Thor said softly as he pulled the Raccoon in for a hug.
"He called me Dad." A little broken gasp of air escaped from Rocket's mouth, "And I couldn't even protect him." There was a heavy patter as tear rolled down his fur onto the table.
Steve wished his damned hearing wasn't so good. He could hear everything, all the intricacies of their pain. It made him sick.
"I know." Thor whispered, the rain began to pound on the roof of the building. Echoing the dismal sentiment in the room.
And don't you know it's a beautiful new day-ay-ay-ay
After a few minutes the Raccoon struggled out of Thor's arms and drank deeply. Thor followed suit draining the entire bottle of whiskey he'd scavenged from behind the bar.
"This was his favorite song," Rocket sobbed into his drink, "What am I gonna tell the others?"
Steve's hands tightened on the empty bottle in his hands.
"The last thing I said to them was that they were morons. What if I never see them again? What if they're dust like the others?"
Thor stayed silent for a bit, "I'd tell you it would be alright, but I fear nothing will ever be alright again. I'm sorry Rabbit. I'm sorry I didn't get to know them better, that I took you and Groot away from them. They seemed like good people."
"Yeah, well they were a bunch of assholes," the Raccoon said finishing the drink with a dark laugh, "but they were my assholes and I was never supposed to outlive them."
The glass shattered in Steve's hands. He stared at the little flecks of blood that speckled the counter. The fragments embedded in his palms. He couldn't bring himself to care.
Runnin' down the avenue. See how the Sun shines brightly?
Natasha stood up from her place in the corner and went over to the speakers behind the bar. She pulled her fist back and punched. It went straight through, her fingers coming back with a series of wires. She yanked, hard.
The song died with a slow robotic: And the city, all the streets where one starts living. It sounded like a mocking eulogy. Natasha hit it again and then there was only silence as she shook the plastic remnants off her gloves and slunk back to her corner with a hollow look in her eyes.
Steve stared at his hands that were slowly healing. He looked over at the eleven bottles he had already finished. He didn't even feel buzzed.
-x-
The night passed slowly. Bruce was the first to pass out. He'd made it through three and a half bottles and then had promptly fell off his barstool. Rhodey had tried to catch him, but they'd only ended up as an incapacitated mess on the floor. Rhodey staring at the ceiling with Bruce passed out over him. They didn't move again for the rest of the night.
The Raccoon went next, but not after he'd disassembled every electronic in the bar and turned them all into bombs. Then he slipped into unconsciousness, crying into the last bottle of scotch.
Natasha had finished her last bottle of Vodka and slipped out the door, with a promised 'I'll be back I need to make a call.' That was at 3 am. She still wasn't back. Steve had a feeling he knew why and felt like throwing up.
Thor and him were the only two lifeforms awake in the bar and they were both still sober. Steve lost count of the number of bottles Thor had consumed by midnight. He stood up and shook his head shoving the empty bottles that littered the bar's counter onto the floor as he went to search the cupboards for any remaining liquor. He opened the wooden doors and found nothing. He followed his eyes down and hunched down to open the lower shelves only to find them bare as well. It wasn't that surprising considering they were right around Rocket's height. It was when he went in the back and found the store room empty that he realized there simply was no more. They'd drank the bar dry.
Steve came over to him a hollow look in his eyes, "You wouldn't happen to have any of that Asgardian liquor would you?"
Thor shook his head, "Did this even do anything for you?" Steve asked, running his fingers over the hand he had injured earlier. It was flawless like it'd never happened. He clenched his fist.
Thor shook his head again. Steve sighed sitting down heavily in the chair next to him, "You and me both than pal."
"I'm sorry," Thor murmured, his voice tight, "I'm sorry for everything." Fat tears were rolling down Thor's cheeks now, "This is all my fault if only I had aimed for the head."
"It's not your fault." Steve tried to console him, "You couldn't have known."
"On the contrary Captain I feel that everything is my fault. First my home, my people, my brother now this. All for my fantasy of revenge under some delusion that I had nothing more to lose. I am a fool." Thor scoffed, " I should have cut off that accursed gauntlet and instead I tried to make him suffer and I've caused everyone to lose everything."
"Not everything," Steve heard himself say, reaching over and squeezing Thor's shoulder. Thor looked at him with wariness in his eyes, "Some of us are still here. And if it's your fault it's just as much mine. I drove the Avengers apart, left us weak and in a position that cost us Vision. Hah," Steve panted, "I could really use a drink."
Here Thor and him were the only sober people in the room, and he doubted anyone wanted to be blackout drunk more than them. Instead they were awake, choking on their guilt, "Just wish you had some of that Asgardian liquor left."
"As do I." Thor said as picked up a half empty bottle on table. The contents were green and when Thor pulled the cork and Steve could smell it was sweet. Thor pulled over an empty glass Rocket had been using earlier as he split the contents of the bottle with Steve. It was something sweet, and the sugar burned going down his throat. This is what misery tastes like Steve thought. Trying to get drunk in an empty bar and not even being able to do that right.
-x-
Author's Note: This was not Beta read! Sorry all mistakes are my own. The Song is Mr. Blue Sky by ELO same one used in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I was relistening to it again and I seriously couldn't think of a more sad and inappropriate song for the ending of Infinity war. And then I looked up the lyrics and they were just eerie with the context. Hopefully my next infinity war fic won't be so sad. As always please read and review I love hearing everyone's thought and constructive criticism is welcome here!
