23Note: To those of you who are wondering why I didn't post this in M rating, you're in for a good surprise.
The Visitor
Once in a blue moon.
That would be the perfect sentence to describe the situation Yukinoshita Yukino was currently in.
It was a Friday night, and quite frankly, her favourite time of the week. Friday nights symbolizes the end of a school week, and as unnatural as it seemed for someone like Yukino, who was a perfect image of diligence, she was secretly always looking forward to it. Reason? That would be Pan-san, of course.
Friday nights for her was absolutely equivalent to having a Pan-san movie marathon while lying on a bed drowning with Pan-san plushies. But in the past two weeks, she hadn't been able to do what she desired. She was now in her third year, and a week close to finals. As bright as she might be, she couldn't afford to take anything easy.
As painful as it sounded, she decided to sacrifice two of her precious Friday nights to revise.
A deep breath took her out of her reverie, and she was now again back to her current situation. Looking at the small screen connected to the security intercom, she saw a slightly slouched man wearing a slack-looking expression as he stood on the lobby of the apartment complex. No more explanations and extra descriptions needed. Just seeing those dead-fish eyes staring at the screen was enough for her to recognize this person.
It was none other than Hikigaya Hachiman.
She let out a small surprised gasp as reality slowly dawned to her.
Once in a blue moon indeed.
But she was a little confused. Hikigaya was supposed to be at home as of now and tutoring Yuigahama. With the final exams coming up, the two of them took the liberty on helping Yuigahama come out with a better result. Though, she didn't really have to worry since no matter what, Yuigahama always passes. Was that magic? Or something else entirely, like pure luck? She shook her head with sigh. She would never know.
She cleared her throat. "Hikigaya-kun?"
"Ah, Yukinoshita. I thought for a second you'd slept already."
"Is something the matter?" She began craning her neck a little to see another figure standing alongside him. But alas, there was no one. "Is Yuigahama-san with you?"
"Ah, no. It's just me."
It's just me, she repeated the words in her head, but she couldn't wrap her head through it. Hikigaya had never came over to her place alone. Not to mention that she never expected him to do so. For him to do something completely out of himself, was indeed, a little shocking. Something must be really going on.
"Why don't you come in for now?" she asked, but pressed the button for the sliding doors to open even before he could answer. She took one more glance in the state if her apartment as she watched Hikigaya disappear out of the intercom screen. The door of her room was opened widely, since she hastily got up from the bed after she heard the doorbell. The Pan-san plushies lounging on her bed was presented in full view, and a sudden creep of heat made its way on her face.
There was no way he would allow him to see that.
Never in a million years.
Another doorbell could be heard, signaling Hikigaya's arrival at her front door. She straightened the folds of her sweater, inwardly patting her own shoulder for not changing into her sleepwear yet, and headed to the door. After unlocking, she gingerly pulled the door open, poking her head on the small gap.
Upon seeing her, Hikigaya offers a small smile, (which was creepy by the way) and waved a little.
"Yo."
She nodded and pulled the door wider for him to come in. She looked at him worriedly as he untied the laces of his shoes, searching for any sign of discomfort on his face. If something really was going on, she would most likely see any traces of it on his expression. She already expected to see the usual pretentious impassivity, but she looked nonetheless. But there was nothing. The usual uncaring look, even the slight frown was nowhere to be seen.
Instead, there was a content smile plastered on his face.
She hated to say this, but that sight frightened her a little.
After locking the door again, she beckoned him to have a seat on the couch. She remained standing, looking down at him as he uncharacteristically made himself comfortable so easily.
She drew a long breath to keep her attention in check. "Is there something you wanted to talk about?" Judging by his actions alone, she could guess that he had something important to say to her. It was plain that whatever he had to say was something he couldn't afford anyone else to hear, or he would bring Yuigahama with him. He was not sporting any negative expression though, so she could guess it was not bad news. But still, she couldn't help but feel something off going on.
"Yes, there is something I need to tell you," he started with a small sigh. Not a sad one nor an exhausted one. It sounded as if he was mocking himself after saying a bad joke. "It's really important."
She gulped. "Okay." Her voice came out uncertain, but she tried her best to not let it show on her face. While nodding, she took a peek on the kitchen. "Would you like me to brew some tea first?"
"No, that can wait." He stood up, sporting a serious expression on his face. A complete turnabout from the easygoing expression he had earlier. "Let me say what I have to say first. Then you can do whatever."
She flinched a little at his words. "Tea for later then," but she quickly recovered and cleared her throat. "So what is it you want to tell me?"
Hikigaya's eyes were dark, sunken to the hollow pits of his skull. His dark hair was unkempt, wild and a little knotted. He looked like he had so many things to say, yet he was holding himself back so hard as to not burst it all out. It was obvious that there was a lot going on inside his head, so she took short step forward and graced a smile on her lips.
"You don't have to worry so much," she look at him warmly, "Just say what you have to say."
"Alright..." he took a long deep breath as he stared at her straight in the eye. "The truth of the matter is, I get the feeling that you won't take what I'm going to say easily, so I have a little doubts. Even so, I steeled myself to do this, so listen up, okay?"
She nodded.
"The things is… I'm scared," he gulped. "This is our final year, and we're now a moment close to separating with each other. I know for a fact that we no longer have that much time to ourselves. And that scared me a whole lot."
She could only widen her eyes at his statement. Words left her. She stared into those dark and dull eyes, and her heart fell silent. She couldn't will her lips to move. As if she was stuck underwater, everything came out slow and warbled.
"I don't want this to end like this. I already have enough things to regret about."
He looked straight at her, his eyes desperately searching her, waiting. She cannot believe it. Was he actually doing this? All of what he was saying was out of character, so far from what she knew him. Her brain formulated thoughts other than to say that she was shocked. She closed her mouth, wanting to look away, but she couldn't. She knew that doing so would be an insult for him, so she kept her eyes on his.
"You're a woman with a lot of dreams and aspirations, and I know for sure that you will have a lot to deal with after you graduate high school. That also means that I will no longer have the chance to say this after that, so…"
A feeling similar to hot lead coursing through her chest washed over.
"Before everything else ends, I want you to know what I feel."
But after that, something unexpected happened.
It was as if a supermassive black hole appeared inside her living room and sucked each and every expression on his face, slowly fading everything away. Momentarily, the scared and desperate look went a one-eighty. His face ended being emotionless. Devoid of any sign of affection. The words he said next should have swayed her up to the clouds above.
"I love you."
But it didn't.
It was wrong. Everything was wrong. There was no way this was happening right now. Yes, of course, she wanted this to happen. She was not naïve on her own feelings at least, so it would no longer come as a surprise for her to realize that she bore special feelings for Hikigaya. But it was wrong. She wasn't supposed to hear it like this. Not like this!
It might be presumptuous of her to say, but the Hikigaya-kun she had known would never be able to utter the words 'I love you' with a straight face.
Without her knowing, she took another step closer and sniffed at him. The scent of mild cologne reached her nose. No signs of liquor intake, he was definitely not drunk. She tested his forehead to see if he was feverish, but he was neither warm nor sweaty so she ruled out the possibility of him being sick.
She knew that she was being ridiculous, but she refuse to accept this.
It was a dumb thought, but she felt it as if it was true, This is not Hikigaya-kun.
She wanted to run away, to slam her own apartment's door close to his face. She wanted to get out of here for a moment. She needed to think things through. This is just too much.
Then her phone rang.
She almost wanted to kneel down and pray to the gods for giving her such an opportunity.
"L-let me take this first…" she spun around without giving him a reply. It was rude of her, yes, but she had no other choice but to back out for now. She heard no sound coming from behind her so she guessed that he must be staring at her back, dumbstruck. She offered a silent apology to him as she turned through the kitchen.
Then, guilt started coursing through after she looked on the caller name blinking on the screen.
Yuigahama Yui.
Her best and only friend.
The one who initially bore feelings to the man who had just confessed his feeling to her.
The one whom she would be betraying if she crumbled after this.
Straightening her back while clearing her throat, she pressed the screen and lifted the phone to her ear.
"Hello, Yuigahama-san."
"Yukinon— Ah! Ehem…"
Yuigahama's bubbly voce rang through the speaker, but she stopped midway and cleared her throat. What she said next baffled Yukino to no end.
"I mean, gooooood evening, this is Yuigahama Yui desu!"
Yuigahama Yui just greeted her in English.
"Eh? I-I know that… Why are you—?"
"I am seventeen years old and I have a dog named Sable!"
Her voice was a quivering a bit as if she was stifling a surge of laughter. She and her pranks again. Though she might say it was actually a good one. Hearing Yuigahama speaking in English was a prank of all pranks. She was impressed.
"Hold on a moment—"
Btu she was cut off again.
"And I wish for WORLD PEACE!"
She was getting frustrated. Placing a hand to her temples, she brought out a sigh, "Just what in the world are you—?"
"Oh for god lord's sake. What the hell are you even talking about?"
Then another voice on the line shook the world she was standing at.
That voice.
"But Hikki! I want to show Yukinon how well you thought me!"
Hikki?
"'How well' my ass…"
She stood rooted on the spot, her legs threatening to buckle from shaking.
"Now you're just being a jerk."
"Damn right I am! You sound like a kindergartener. Next moment you will be calling me Haa-chan."
"What?"
"Geh— T-that's nothing… Just hand me the damn phone for a sec."
A rustling sound found its way on her phone, then the voice came out louder, clearer.
"Yukinoshita? You there?"
She would never confuse this crude voice to any other person.
"H-Hikigaya-kun…"
"Um, sorry for bothering you this late, but since you're already on the line, I figure maybe it's better if I just tell you right away." Hikigaya spoke up with a little certainty, "You see, we got a very serious problem here. Real emergency. I hate to say, but I think I might have just fucked up beyond recognition—"
"I love bitches!"
"It's PEACHES, you dimwit!" he shouted, his voice tinged with the usual annoyance. "You still there? Hey listen. I know that it was a really wrong move since I'm now regretting it more than you could possibly imagine. But believe me or not… I just taught Yuigahama English."
The phone in her hand was shaking nonstop. Hikigaya hardly took a polite tone when he spoke. His voice was brash and overflowing like a cyclone. No one could blame a cyclone for being harsh, and that was just the way with Hikigaya Hachiman.
"Maybe I got a little carried away while tutoring her and decided to step it up. But trust me, I have no idea that it'd turn out this way. Hell, even Komachi gave up and scurried off to the kitchen…"
Her hand was trembling, she was sweating so much before she realized it.
"Anyway, I'll just get right through with it. I'm thinking that maybe we could meet up tomorrow, if you're free that is. I really need someone other than myself to knock some sense into this woman. You're cool with that, right?"
She had a lot of questions. How in the world could Hikigaya be on the other line? It was just downright impossible! He was in her living room!
Or was he?
She slowly craned her neck to peek at the mirror that reflects the living room.
Her breathing cut short.
A pair of dead fish eyes met hers, blank and glazed.
She stiffened and looked away.
"Earth to Yukinoshita?"
The voice on the other line called out to her, and she was sent back into the cruel reality. She bit back her sob as tears formed in her eyes, stinging and blurring her vision. "Hi-Hikigaya-kun… c-can you tell me where you are right now?"
"Huh? Isn't it obvious?"
She swallowed hard. "Just humor me for a moment, please…"
"Why are you asking though…?"
"…no reason. Just tell me."
"Ugh, I'm at home, if you're so disinterested. Oh wait— you're going off about whether I forcefully drag Yuigahama to my room, right? Ha, right back at your face then. Might I tell you that Komachi is with us too… though she's kinda busy hiding in the kitchen— but that's not my point. My eyes may be unsightly, but not as that head of yours. I didn't expect an Ojou-sama like you to have such a vile imagination—"
Now she was thinking. Now the dust was shifting off her mind, and she sifted aside all thoughts about English lessons and Saturday meetings, pulling forward the recollection of sudden love confessions. That moment, the one that started it all, the moment Hikigaya confessed to her.
It felt so vivid in her head. Like it only just happened. Which it did, now that she think about it.
But now, he was here, on the phone.
But at the same time, he was also there, waiting for her answer in the living room.
"A-are you really sure about that...? You sure you're n-not in someone else's apartment—?"
"Yukinoshita, who are you talking to?"
Another voice that sickeningly resembles the one talking on her phone echoed behind her. Dangerously close behind her. Yukino jerked to face behind her, the folds of her eyelids scratching as she widened her eyes to its full extent.
A hand dropped on her shoulder and her blood ran cold.
"Hey, what's wrong? Is someone else there? "
Hikigaya asked worriedly over the phone.
"Who's on the line?"
Hikigaya asked with a tinge of hostility In front her.
"Hi-Hikigaya-kun…"
She was now sure.
The one before her wasn't her Hikigaya-kun.
"Oi woman, you're freaking me out."
But then, who was he?
"Is it him?"
The man before her hissed in a loud tone.
"Yukinoshita?"
"Tell me! Is it him!?"
He forced his hands on her arms, gripping it vice-like, and she met his blank face painted with cold fury.
"What in the— who was that!? Hey Yukinoshita, this isn't funny!"
Another angry voice shouted over the line, but this one sent an odd feeling of comfort inside her.
Though the comfort didn't last for long, as she pushed the man holding her arms away.
"N-no, please… don't get close…"
"Ugh, to hell with it!" Hikigaya shouted in frustration, almost sounding as if he was in complete panic. "Yuigahama! Pack up, we're coming over to Yukinoshita's!"
"Wha—? Why?" Yuigahama's voice answered back.
"Just shut the hell up for now!" Hurried footsteps could be heard. "Hurry damn it! Yukinoshita!? Oi woman! Don't you dare hang up, alright!? We're coming over!"
That should have brought a feeling security on her.
"Do you love him more than me?"
But it didn't.
"Please… hurry…."
"Just calm down! We're on our way—"
Because the Hikigaya-kun in front of her had taken a couple of steps forward.
"Is that the reason why you didn't give me an answer?"
She whimpered, pouring all her fear in one last sentence, praying for the boy she wanted to be with to come and rescue her out of this aberration.
"Help me… please…"
Note: I'm not sorry. You guys know how much I love cliffies, right? Well, I guess it only applies to those who are (unfortunately) familiar with my writing. This was supposed to be a lemon oneshot, but my ideas got jumbled up while writing. And besides, I really felt awkward while writing the lemon scene, so I decided to discard the whole idea away. (I honestly have no idea what has gotten into me to have a sudden urge to write lemon.) On another note, if you have some questions regarding this mockery I've created, feel free to ask. Though let me warn you, I'm just mostly bullshitting everything here (lol).
Till then.
