3Gettin' By
Look, I ain't the shittiest guy out here. And I ain't no good guy either. You'll never catch me saying I'm a good guy cause' I ain't one of those pansies who claim they're good just 'cause they want some pussy.
Knowing I'm a shitty guy versus feeling shitty as a guy are two different things. Ya wanna know how I feel? Well, imagine yourself on your knees, on the grass staining your jeans and getting a thirty dollar bouquet thrown right back at your face. Petals flying like spit everywhere on ya. The girlie who used to give ya kissy face, had just finished screaming at the top of her lungs. I can't remember her words 'cause all I was thinking 'bout was how she never screamed that loud in bed. I mean there were sentences I caught, a jumbled squash of "fuck you!" "dirty-lying-cheating-piece-of-trash!" "on my property?!" "how dare you?!" right before she chased me off her doorstep.
I mean, hell I never bought her flowers ever. If she ever complained, I just stole 'em from her neighbour's garden. She knew 'bout that but she never said a damn word. And now that bouquet with the flower names I didn't give a shit about is all over her friggin' lawn. Puked out pieces of red, pink, yellow and white emptied out my wallet! Like damn, I spent forty minutes listening to the hag at the flower shop, explaining what the fuck meant sorry in flower language. I didn't even know flowers had their own language. Reminds me too much of how the bitch I bought them for seemed to speak a different language expecting me to read her goddamn mind all the time.
"Babe! Y'know I'm fucking sorry!" I'm about to tell her she wasted my money. But I'm not tryna piss her off even more. "Babygirl I miss you!"
"I don't wanna see your face here anymore, Mugen! You gross me out!" She turns around and stomps back to her house.
I have no idea what I'm yelling back at her at this point. "You're my everything!" Man, fuck my pride. I'm probably gonna grab a drink at the bar after this, this girl makes me say the stupidest shit.
She slams the door and I keep yelling whatever cheesy shit that comes to mind. I know girlie went straight to her bedroom, which is the front of the house. She's not done seeing me reduced to an idiot, I know she's listening.
So I say, "Your thong's still in my bed!"
The windows open. Her small ass head pops out. "If you come here tomorrow, I'm calling the cops on you!" Then she pops back in and shuts her windows, yanks her blinds close.
Bitch knows how much I don't fuck with the cops.
I walk away, slouched, hands shoved into my pockets. I steal one last glance at those dumbass flowers on the ground. I hack up some salvia and spit at 'em.
I see Jin, her fish-faced neighbour. Man was out for his afternoon jog. My eyes turn into slits as he jogs towards me on the sidewalk. When he's about to pass, he stops and places a hand on my shoulder. I almost flinch at the contact of his nasty ass hands.
He fixes his glasses, with his index finger in the middle of the frame like the nerd he is. Then has the fucking cool to say to me, "Mugen, give Fuu some time."
Man really thinks I would listen to his pussy advice?!
I shove his hand off. "Stick your nose in someone else's ass, four-eyes!"
Here goes another fuckin' day.
A/N: I was reading 'This is How You Lose Her' by Junot Diaz, and I was fascinated by the first story and how it was written. So the story's writing style was inspired by that. I had fun writing this, I hardly ever write in first person, let alone write a character like Mugen's haha! Please review, feedback is highly appreciated. Thank you!
