7Calvin the Pilot-Written by NMMacc18
Plot: Calvin's Dad gets on a plane to go on a business trip, only to discover Calvin is driving the plane.
Calvin's Dad checked his suitcase again, wanting to make sure he had everything he needed.
"Dear, that's the third time you've checked your suitcase, I think you have everything." Calvin's Mom assured.
"I know... but this is an important trip I'm going on! If my firm wants to get those patent rights, I need to impress the guy and show that he would be handing the patent rights over to a trustworthy firm." Dad said in his defense.
"Well I wouldn't worry, I think everything will come out just fine." Mom said reassuringly.
Then, the bus came, and Dad gave Mom a kiss goodbye, and boarded the bus.
The bus went all the way to the airport, and Dad was the first off once it arrived there.
"Ugh, and I thought taking the bus to work was bad enough..." Dad said in disgust as he walked into the airport, and was shocked to see that there was already a big line for the baggage check.
After about a half hour later, Dad finally made it to the front of the line, and went to get his baggage checked.
"Just this bag sir?" The attendant asked.
"Yes." Dad said nodding.
The attendant looked at it for a moment, and then did some measurements.
"Actually sir, we changed our measurements on what constitutes luggage and carry-ons, and under our new policy, this suitcase here is technically a carry-on." The attendant explained.
"You mean to tell me I basically wasted 30 minutes in line to be told this?!"
"Afraid so sir."
Dad grabbed his suitcase and left fuming.
When he got to the security checkpoint, there was another long line.
"Of course! Why wouldn't there be a line! This is why I prefer driving to my destinations! But noooo! I just HAD to take the stupid airplane because its soooo much quicker! I might as well just live in the airport! These lines are always so long! Why even bother?! I might as well quit my job and just wait in lines for a living!" Dad ranted in fury, only to notice several people were looking at him strangely.
Dad kept quiet, and had to wait for about an hour, before he finally made it through TSA without issue, and walked to his gate.
"Finally! Now I can just relax a little and wait for my flight..." Dad said relieved as he pulled out a book and began to read it, but was interrupted when the intercom went of.
"Attention all passengers, Flight 891 from Cleveland to Chicago gate has changed from D-12 to Z-38. Boarding will begin in approximately five minutes." The announcer said on the intercom.
"FIVE MINUTES?! I gotta hurry!" Dad said panicked as he grabbed his stuff and started running to the end of the airport to catch his flight.
Now Dad had ran Cross Country and played Baseball in High School, so he was a pretty fast runner, but it probably didn't help that tons of people were coming in his direction, so he had to dodge people left and right to make it on time.
Luckily, he just made it in the nick of time, and managed to get in right before boarding ended. He quickly got on the plane, only to find most of the seats taken. Alas, he managed to find one empty seat and put his luggage and the compartment above and sat down and buckled up.
"Going on a business trip?" An older man sitting next to Dad asked.
"Yeah, I'm a patent attorney. I'm going to go get some patent rights for the firm I work for." Dad explained.
"Interesting. Do you think you'll be able to get those rights?" The man asked.
"Uh... Yeah, I'd say so..." Dad said.
"Well, if you put your mind to it, and you really believe in yourself, then you should be able to get them." The man said assuringly.
"Uh... yeah, sure, I guess so..." Dad said, slightly uncomfortable.
Suddenly, the plane started moving, much to everyone's surprise.
"What's going on here?!" Went one passenger.
"Have we've been even cleared for takeoff?" Went another.
Dad sighed, realizing that he was in for a long flight.
"Icky girls and gentleman! Thank you for choosing to fly with us to our nonstop flight from Cleveland to Chicago. We haven't been cleared for flight yet, but I don't really care, I'm tired of waiting. Also, we aren't bothering going over all that safety malarchy since nothing has changed in probably the last hundred years or whatever. So yeah, have a good flight!"
Dad froze. His eye twitched.
"Are you okay?" The man asked.
"CALVIN!" Dad yelled as he got out of his seat and bolted to the front of the plane, only to be stopped by an attendant.
"Sir, please get back in your seat, we're going to be taking off." The flight attendant said, trying to prevent Dad from getting past him.
"I DON'T CARE! MY SON HAS HIJACKED THE PLANE!" Dad said in fury trying to get through.
"Relax sir, I'm sure everything-"
"You do realize he's six years old, right?"
The Flight Attendant stopped dead in his tracks. He realized that he didn't know that a six-year-old kid was controlling the plane.
"Well... I... Um... Just go back to your seat, then we can figure this out at 30,000 feet okay?" The flight attendant stammered out.
"I mean, would you rather die sooner or later?"
"Just do it for my own sanity..." The flight attendant grumbled.
Dad sighed, admitting defeat, and trudged back to his seat.
Meanwhile, in the cockpit, Calvin and Hobbes were controlling the plane. How? Well through various cartoonish and impossible scenarios that we're too lazy to go into detail about of course.
"I believe that we'll be getting a friendly visit from your father during our flight..." Hobbes remarked, hearing the commotion outside the cockpit.
"MY DAD?! Why can't I ever have fun without him barging in and ruining everything?!" Calvin remarked annoyed.
"Maybe if you weren't trying to commit federal crimes half the time he wouldn't..." Hobbes said.
"Shut up furball and tell that flight attendant to give us a bag of pretzels and some pop while I get this bad boy in the air." Calvin ordered to Hobbes as he began to fiddle with the controls of the plane.
"Whatever you say..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.
Somehow, while nearly crashing into a couple of planes, Calvin got the plane off the ground and into the air without any major issues, and the plane was soon cruising as intended.
Meanwhile, Dad was stuck listening to his insufferable seat companion.
"Now I'm sure the nerves might be getting to you and all that, but my mentor taught me that going against my biggest fears leads to the greatest successes. This reminds me of when my youngest daughter was in high school and trying to beat the state record on the swim team..."
"This must be what the underworld is like..." Dad thought to himself.
"Attention idiots. We've now reached 30,000 feet. Refreshments and stuff will come shortly. And feel free to get up, stretch, move around and all that stuff. So yeah"
Dad shot up at this. He finally had the chance to get to Calvin and from this weird old man.
"Would you care for any-" The flight attendant began to say before Dad barged out of his way and into the cockpit.
"CALVIN!"
"Oh hi Dad, funny seeing you here." Calvin greeted in a normal tone.
"Calvin, for the love of everything big and small, how on earth where you able to gain control of a commercial airliner?" Dad asked wearily.
"Eh, wasn't that hard..." Calvin remarked.
"Oh come on Calvin! This isn't the 90s where anyone can just walk into an airport and get on a plane!" Dad scoffed.
"Yeah, and I still haven't aged a day." Calvin said back.
Dad groaned.
"It was simple. I converted the time machine into a flying machine and got us here, then with some of my inventions Hobbes and I easily got around security, then we tricked the pilot that he had the wrong plane, and nobody has questioned a thing since!" Calvin explained proudly.
"I knew I should've just taken a train..." Dad sighed.
Then, Hobbes, who had been taking a nap, woke up, and saw a big, dark looking plane heading toward them.
"Um, Calvin?"
"What now Hobbes?" Calvin asked impatiently.
"You might wanna look out the window..." Hobbes said pointing to the plane.
Calvin looked, and his eyes bulged.
"The FBI?! How did they find me?! And more importantly, since when did they have planes?!" Calvin said shocked and dumbfounded.
Hobbes rolled his eyes and sighed.
Dad took notice too, even though he thought Calvin was just talking to his stuffed tiger, was relieved.
"FINALLY! MY KID WON'T BE THE END OF ME!" Dad said jumping up and down in joy.
"Not on my watch! Attention icky girls and gentlemen! We'll be making an emergency landing at wherever we are right now! So get ready!" Calvin said panicked into an intercom.
Then, somehow, two FBI agents crashed into the cockpit.
Dad was taken aback, his day couldn't get any weirder it seemed.
"Alright kid, let's come quietly now, shall we?" The first agent asked as he crept toward Calvin.
"Careful Tom! It's the Noodle Incident kid! He could be dangerous!" The second agent warned.
"I WAS FRAMED!" Calvin yelled as he had the plane make a sharp descent downward. Everyone was getting bounced around, and were unsure of what was happening next.
As Calvin and one of the agents fought over the controls, Hobbes sighed.
"Let me know when they set your bail." Hobbes remarked before he left, grabbed a parachute, and jumped out of the plane.
"CALVIN JUST GIVE IT UP ALREADY!" Dad yelled in panic!
"NEVER! ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY ARE MAKING ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME!" Calvin yelled as he continued to battle over the controls with the agent.
"I hate my job..." The other agent grumbled.
Then, Calvin suddenly jammed the controls, and then the plane began doing barrel rolls. Dad screamed at the top of his lungs, hoping it would stop.
"Calvin! Stop!" Dad yelled as he rolled out of his bed and onto the floor.
"Dear! Are you alright?!" Mom said as she turned on the lamp to check on him.
"What the? Calvin? The plane? The FBI?" Dad said in confusion, before realizing that it had all been a dream.
"Bad dream?" Mom asked.
"Yeah. It was kinda weird too, I got on the plane to go on my trip, and then I discovered that Calvin was the pilot..." Dad began to explain.
"Oh gosh, that's a nightmare for anyone..." Mom said wincing.
"Yeah... I think Calvin in control of any vehicle is a nightmare for anyone..." Dad remarked as he got back into bed and went back to sleep.
Meanwhile, Calvin had woken up as well.
"...and then all of sudden, the freaking FBI busted into the cockpit! And then one of them claimed that I was the Noodle Incident kid, so naturally, a battle between us broke out for control..." Calvin said as he described his dream to Hobbes.
Hobbes just sighed, he had honestly heard weirder, but with Calvin, you never know what you're going to get.
THE END
Cast:
Calvin/FBI Agent 1: Tom Kenny
Hobbes/FBI Agent 2: Owen Wilson
Dad/Attendant/Man: Paul Rudd
Mom: Scarlett Johansson
Special Guest Star: The Flight Attendant: Zach Woods
Next Episode: 12 Angry Calvin's: Calvin is accidentally assigned jury duty for a patent infringement case that his Dad is working.
