61Crescendo
When she finally swallowed the lump and felt the acid of her vomit burn her throat she decided to look at the elephant in the room. A scroll of almost white paper and red envelope was neatly arranged in the desk in front of her, golden-like letters shining at the top of the Konoha seal. It wasn't the first time she had seen this type of scroll before, having a whole clan conformed of ninjas and a father in charge of distributing the missions. Still, this was the first one who had made her nervous because it was entirely for her.
"Asuma send it this morning." Her father spoke calmly before caressing the soft envelope with the tip of his fingers, looking at the manuscript like it was a bomb to defuse.
Ino nodded, not sure how to behave, he was her father but also her leader and this felt much more formal than a simple conversation.
"I… thought… you choose who…" she felt suddenly shy, Inoichi Yamanaka was not dad, Inoichi Yamanaka was the clan head, and even if she had his DNA running through her veins, she was still a mere subject until it was her turn to rule.
If they ever gave her that opportunity.
(But truthfully, which child will ever feel the ruler of their own parent?)
Inoichi Yamanaka was a leader that spoke clear and with few sentences, he never yelled or insulted, he never lost his temper. His tone of voice was deeper than most of the clan heads and his body language was almost non-existent. He was stiffer. Sharper.
"I choose what? Ino." It was like an interrogation.
(Always speak with confidence in your voice).
She swallowed. "I thought you were the one who chose the proper missions for clan members… sir."
Inoichi didn't smile or moved, Ino wished he did.
"I never choose the missions." He said, "the Hokage does. I choose the members of the clan that I consider fit for them if they ask for an information-gathering specialist."
Ino waited a couple of seconds to see if he was going to continue, not wanting to interrupt.
"So I'm… fit… for this." She swallowed, "aren't I?"
"You're a gënin under the tutelage of a Jönin. I have no saying in the missions of Yamanaka members under Chünin ranks."
He sounded almost upset. Ino breathed at that.
"Oh…"
"Still, if Asuma chose this particular mission for you and your team, then you must be fit for it. The three of you."
"Oh…"
Inoichi's sharp eyes burned her. "Oh? Just oh. That's everything you're going to say?"
"No, no, no…. I mean…" She swallowed, "I- I'm not sure what to say… sir."
For a moment Inoichi relaxed his features, pushing the scroll towards her, the paper making a scraping sound against the wood of the desk. "You say, thank you sir, you take the scroll, you bow and leave."
"R-right." She grabbed the scroll. "Thank you, sir." Bowing, she tried to pick at her father's expression but his face was impassive.
She left as instructed and walked towards her room. She was halfway on the stairs when the sound of his voice made her stop.
"Ino," the sound didn't seem hostile but she still turned hesitantly, hoping that her dad had left the other man inside his office. "You're going to be fine."
Ino took a deep breath that filled her lungs in a way she didn't know she needed, the nervousness previously built dissipating as quickly as a whistle. His dad was at the bottom of the stairs, not going up but looking straight at her as if he was physically touching her reassuringly. Still, the distance between them felt wrong, they never were distant before, and Ino realized almost at that moment that the more she grew the more they will drift apart because that's nature. And Ino, who loved nature, suddenly hated it.
"I don't like my team." The words felt like knives cutting her tongue and were received as such, Inoichi's face writhing in a way that will hunt her dreams for years to come.
He swallowed taking a step closer to the stairs, the movement did feel hostile and Ino's back hit the wall.
"You don't have the privilege of doing that." It was the short sentence and the look of disgust on his face that told her that the clan's head was back, her dad buried deep in the farthest part of himself as to not intervene in the lecture.
"I know." Her dad had told her to speak confidently, and Ino was nothing but a quick learner. "But if I don't like them…" she didn't finish the sentence, the weight of the meaning hanging darkly above both their shoulders.
"You can't trust them," Inochi mumbled, saying the words that Ino had refused to admit at loud.
Ino sighed, "I can't. I'm trying but-"
"But what? What exactly are you trying?"
He wasn't particularly yelling but his eyes were completely open, his jaw set like he was ready to bark, he looked like a man facing not his daughter but his enemy and Ino almost cries his heart out.
"I'm trying t-to fit… I can't. They're not-"
"They're not what, Ino?" Inoichi's lips twisted. "Competent? Strong enough?"
"Ye-yes, no, no I mean…"
"Then what?" He took a step closer, slowly.
"I don't… I just…"
"You don't what? You just what?"
Stop, stop, stop.
"They're not what?" He insisted. "They're not Sakura? They're not Sasuke?" He spat their names out like they were venom, like both of them had personally offended him.
"Stop!" She begged, "please dad!"
Inoichi's entire expression changed in a split second, he went from looking mad, ready to go full clan head with her to look like a kicked puppy, his jaw relaxing to the point where his mouth hung open. He took two steps back, returning to the bottom of the stairs but not leaving.
"I…" she tried to speak, but she couldn't find her voice. So she closed her mouth and swallowed, her dad didn't move, didn't speak. He was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, still looking at her. "I'm sorry." She blurted out, but she wasn't sure she was the one to blame.
There was a pause that extended too much for her tastes.
Inoichi swallowed and, somehow, he looked ready to cry.
"You should be." He whispered. "You're gonna kill my daughter."
He walked to his office again and she watched him go, the action was simple and yet it hurt so much.
"Dad…" she whispered, but Inoichi was too deep in his sorrow to hear her.
The mission seemed easy enough, at least on paper. After all, it wasn't as if she hasn't heard about C-ranks going terribly, terribly wrong to the point where one or more members of the team hadn't returned home, jönin teachers looking worn out with the grief and the task of having to talk to broken parents.
The sun was high enough for her to squint her eyes shut from time to time, tapping her right foot on the floor almost rhythmically, she wanted to be mad at their tardiness but in all honesty is her who's purposefully early, trying to put as much distance to her home as she could.
This was not the way she had pictured her first C-rank mission starting, but in all honesty, nothing of what she had imagined had come to fruition lately, so this setback didn't come as a complete surprise. Still, her relationship with her father was anywhere near she had envisioned it to be at this point in her life, and something in her gut told her that her life was being destroyed at her own volition.
(She thinks she might write a letter to her dad while on the mission, she thinks she has to because it's easier to think clearly when you're scribbling words with ink and paper, vague ideas and sentiments have a way to stick into your brain more purposefully when they become real in a scroll, but then she realizes she doesn't have nor ink or paper, and feels the shred of her relationship with Inoichi tighten threateningly).
"Early?"
"Yeah."
She should be surprised at his infinite capacity of jumping out of nowhere, she knew Asuma was expecting her to be, but Ino's getting accustomed to his antics and really, Asuma only has himself to blame for her not reacting in the same way she used to.
"That's the spirit." If he was disappointed at her lack of outburst, he didn't show it, lighting a cigarette instead. She kind of likes him more for that.
At some point she saw two dark figures walking slowly towards them, the hair of Shikamaru distinguishable even from a long distance, she pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at them without thinking. Them. Always. Them. They were already a team, the whole purpose of the training was to fit her in. They didn't need to train together because they were already a unit.
And who's fault was that?
She refused to believe it was her doing.
"And here I thought you were going to be late," Asuma's words were accompanied by smoke and the smell of nicotine. Shikamaru seemed unfazed, and Chöji elbowed him in the ribs.
"I wouldn't have let him." Chöji's smile was sincere and it made her shiver. "Hi, Ino."
"Yeah…" She whispered, blushing. "I mean hi."
The tree men of the team stared at her.
"So…" Asuma continued, "are you ready for today?"
"Well, we can't exactly reject the mission, can we?" Shikamaru shrugged.
"Oh, you can… but then, you know, consequences."
"Ah, yes, those, how could I ever forget those?"
"You should never forget them, son…" Asuma scratched his beard, "nope, no, too weird, not ready to call anyone like that. Definitely not ready."
"Uhm… should we, you know, check that we packed what is necessary?" She said, hands on her hips.
"Yeah, no, I don't think so, you should know that by now. Kindergarten camps, children…"
"B- but that was totally different!"
"We are a shinobi village Ino, what we teach has no other purpose than keeping you alive when you go out in a mission." He smiled like he wasn't sealing her future.
"Already?" Chöji's eyes opened widely.
"Yeah, why? You expected something else?"
"I don't know… a speech, maybe?"
The capacity of Asuma's lungs always surprised her, one would think that with all the cigarettes he consumed his lungs would be pretty much covered in ashes at this point, but here he was, laughing at loud like he never went aphonic a single day in his life.
"Oh, Chöji you're definitely my favorite." He said, turned around, and started walking out of the village.
And thus, their first C-rank mission started.
Yay. She thought sarcastically.
Ino wasn't talking much for which Shikamaru was thankful but it also bothered him because, god he hated that he knew her that much, that meant something was going on. He didn't know what it was and he wasn't sure he wanted to know the reason but it had to be important if resulted in making Ino Yamanaka quiet.
The route to Yugakure no Sato wasn't particularly difficult but it was smelly, which was a weird thing to say as a description, but it was accurate. The humidity didn't surprise him considering the name of the village but the smell of slightly putrid wood did.
"It only gets worse," Asuma said with a shrug at Ino's infinite disgusted expression, "there're worst things to smell, believe me."
She didn't argue the statement.
"Why didn't the Hokage brief us about the mission? I thought it was a costume in Konoha when it came to the first C-rank." He asked.
Surprisingly, the question seemed to bother Asuma if his pursed lips were any indication.
"The Hokage was currently busy." He replied, the last word almost spatted out of his mouth, Shikamaru understood that probably wasn't the question what actually bothered his teacher but the answer and made a note not to bring up the Hokage (a.k.a Asuma's dad) in a conversation again.
Family, after all, was a sensitive topic.
So, escort the daughter of a family from Yugakure back to Konoha, no enemies known, no money or jewelry involved, just a groom from Konoha who wanted to look fancy and play the gentleman role by hiring some shinobi to escort his bride to be.
Easy and tedious.
"This is the fifth time you sigh, Shikamaru," Asuma said, glancing at him from the corner of his eyes.
"Well, it's not as if I can contradict you on that."
"I wasn't expecting you to, I was trying to give you an opening to tell me the reason."
"You know the reason."
"Fine, I'm trying to make you talk to teach you a proper lesson. Humor me."
Shikamaru sighed again. "Why bothering hiring ninjas to escort a woman back to Konoha? It doesn't make sense."
"For the groom it does." Their teacher replied.
"It's troublesome."
"It's love." And suddenly there she was, Ino Yamanaka, speaking for the first time in probably hours; love, of course girls would have their say in this particular topic, even twelve years old like Ino who didn't understand a single thing about it.
He tsiked, "it feels like a show to me."
"Well," Ino didn't glance at him, "of course you wouldn't understand."
"What does that mean?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at her.
"You perfectly know what it means." She looked at him for a brief second, like he wasn't worth the explanation.
"You don't know what it means either if you think that thing you have for Sasuke is love-"
"First of all, don't. you. dare." She stopped walking and pointed a finger at him. "I'm in love, I don't have to be a genius to know that."
Shikamaru swallowed a laugh in favor of replying to her. "Please, if anything, you are just infatuated."
"You're just saying that because anyone is in love with you." She tried to insult.
"Well, of course not, we're twelve-year-olds, none of us is really in love or even able to be in love."
Ino threw her hands in the air, "for your information, Asuma-sensei meet Kurenai when they were our age and now th-"
"What?!" Asuma almost chokes on his saliva. "No, no, no, nonononono. Kurenai and I- we are not dating."
Shikamaru shrugged, "and even if they were-"
"-we're not."
"-they fell in love when they were older, not twelve."
"But we're not dating."
Ino pursed her lips and looked at him with anger at being questioned -moreover because it was her love for Sasuke that was being questioned-, but then she blinked and her expression changed completely, her shoulders relaxed and she parted her lips.
"Oh," she said.
"Oh?" He asked.
"It's nothing," she shrugged and started to walk.
"What do you mean is nothing?" He questioned, watching her walk.
She didn't look at him when she replied, "it's real Shikamaru, you're just too stiff to let it flow."
(It will take him his entire life and love the same person in different ways to understand what she meant).
(Love is incredibly malleable, you see).
"Anyway…" Chöji spoke. "If it's just to escort a bride to be, why is it a C-rank? Shouldn't it be a D-rank?"
"It's outside Konoha," Asuma replied, "pretty much every single mission that happens outside Konoha's doors are considered C-ranks."
"In order to squeeze all the money they can, isn't it?" Shikamaru said.
Asuma narrowed his eyes, "you shouldn't say that out loud. But, yes, yes it is."
"What? Why?" Chöji asked them.
"Well, I don't know if I'm correct, but almost every single person that needs something from outside the village are either from Hi no Kuni or foreigners, D-ranks are mostly inside the village and is pretty much reserved for the citizens of Konoha; you know, merchants, farmers, and yada yada. They are a way to tell them 'ey, you have a discount for living in a ninja village, don't go away, we need someone to harvest our food'." Shikamaru replied, Asuma rolled his eyes.
"Yeah but, isn't the hospital full of ninja doctors? Isn't that, like, payment enough?"
"It's not free to go to the hospital if you are not a ninja, and even then, you always have a discount in your paycheck regarding health insurance."
"D-ranks are really expensive tho…"
"Well, we are professionals so…"
"So C-ranks are designed to be requested by foreigners and sometimes grooms who want to impress their bride," Asuma added, "and now shush, you're giving me a headache."
Shikamaru shrugged.
The smell was awful, and the more they walked the more he hated it, but oh lord the sun looked wonderful through the leaves.
They stopped to set up a camp somewhat during the afternoon, they will have to share a tent, at least Ino, Chöji, and him -Asuma couldn't fit inside even if he wanted to, but Shikamaru doubted he would want to sleep with a bunch of twelv-
No, ew, gross.
So he laid down in the dirt and blinked. He was the first one in watch, well, him and Asuma, who was suspiciously absent, probably in one of the trees ready to be their backup during the whole night.
Teaching, what a pain in the ass really.
"Shikamaru…" Ino was whispering. He could barely see her figure.
"What?" He whispered back.
There was a pause… "do you have a pen?"
"A pen?" He asked incredulously. "Why would you want a pen?"
"It's just… do you have or not?"
It was his turn to pause. "No, sorry."
"Oh… it's fine. I mean, I don't have paper anyway…" he watched her figure starting to disappear in the background.
"Ino…" he couldn't control his voice.
"What?"
"Why would you want a pen?"
There was a pause again, "it's nothing. It's fine."
"Are you okay?" He blurted and stiffed at his own question, he wasn't concerned for Ino -why would he? They weren't friends, no, it wasn't concern, he told himself, but she was behaving so weird. He didn't like it. It was... uncomfortable.
"I… yes. Yes." She replied.
And then,
"Thank you." She said, and Shikamaru was too in awe to reply.
He returned to his original position and looked at the sky, there were stars everywhere and it was so dark that they seemed to be floating in ink, maybe they were, maybe Kamisama existed and he was looking at the inkwell, maybe if he looked far enough, he would be able to see his future.
"You're welcome." He finally whispered, Asuma the only one who could hear him.
