Chapter 25:

Draco tapped his fingers against the leg of his trousers impatiently as he waited for Granger to emerge from the Arithmancy classroom. She'd spent the morning tutoring a Hufflepuff and he was eager to see her for their shared lunch before they broke apart for afternoon classes. A month had passed since Christmas and they had grown closer than he could have imagined, despite their relationship being fueled by both fire and ice. They still bickered, but Salazar, kissing her with all of that pent up agitation made it that much more satisfying.

Their relationship, however, was still private as they worked through exactly it was they wanted from one another.

After what felt like an hour, she finally emerged from the classroom, giving final instructions to the student. The Hufflepuff—Willoughby or Winston—took one look at Draco, his eyes growing wide before he had the sense to scuttle off. Granger raised a brow and placed a hand on her hip, cocking it to the side. "Must you scare off my tutees?"

Making certain they were the only two left in the hall, he smirked and ran his palm over her arm and pulled her close to kiss her temple. "I just looked at him!"

Rolling her eyes, Granger laced their fingers together and began walking toward the end of the corridor. The dead end, where there was nothing but an old, unused closet of Filch's and an alcove perfect for snogging. One glance at Granger told him that was precisely what she had up her sleeve as she looked behind them and then ducked into the arched alcove.

Her lips were on his before he could even offer a proper salutation, her hands clutching at the hem of his shirt to untuck it. Draco dropped his bag and pushed into her, backing her against the stone wall as he used it to hold himself upright. Meeting the wall with force, Granger let out a breathy groan as she wrapped his tie around her fist and pulled him closer.

"Hush, witch, before you get us—"

"Oh my god!"

They broke apart quickly, coming to stand as far apart as the alcove would allow. A fourth year Ravenclaw stood there with a hand over her mouth. One glance at Granger and Draco could see her face aflame with embarrassment. "Is there something you need?"

"What is it, Ravi?" came the voice of another girl from down the corridor.

Ravi's hand fell away from her face and she squealed, "It's Draco Malfoy. With Hermione Granger!"

The sound of heeled Mary Janes clacking over stone, echoing deafening in his ears. "What? Hermione Granger would never be stupid enough to be caught with Draco Malfoy!"

Another young girl joined the first, her mouth agape as her friend' words were confirmed. Straightening his tie and pushing a hand through his hair, Draco cleared his throat. "Ten points from Ravenclaw for using the word 'stupid' when referring to Hermione."

Ravi opened her mouth to speak and he put up a finger. "We can go higher if need be."

He pushed past the two and began stalking down the hall, needing to just be away. They'd been careful not to get caught being too friendly prior to this, and he worried daily about what would happen if someone were to find out about them. The Ravenclaw's reaction was enough to tell him this was not a relationship to be praised.

"Malfoy! Draco, wait!" He could hear her voice behind him and he closed his eyes as he descended the stairs.

He could only imagine the spectacle they were making as he walked at a near jogging pace and she traipsed behind. Everyone would certainly know now. He slammed into the Wulfric Common Room. Theo and Blaise stood, concerned with the violent manner of his entrance.

He ignored their questions and moved into the private Heads Common, the air being choked from his lungs as he tugged at his tie and made his way to the bathroom. Cold water would calm him. Draco drew shallow, labored breaths as he leaned over the sink basin. It was like sixth year all over again, the weight of the world crushing him from every angle. He smelled like her and he could scarcely breathe. He pulled his robes off and tossed them aside, turning the water on in the shower. He had to get her scent away from him if he wanted to remain sane enough to function.

He violently ripped the buttons of his shirt apart, shrugging out of it. He pushed his trousers and pants down, kicking them aside so they smacked against the wall with force. Goddammit! He felt like he was slowly going mental. He leaned against the cool porcelain sink once more and tried breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Draco dragged his eyes up to look at himself in the mirror. What the fuck could Granger possibly see in him? Clearly the other students couldn't quite figure that out either. His eyes raked over his appearance, bile rising in his throat. White blond hair that needed desperately to be cut. Eyes of a dull grey, filled with bitterness and despair. Pointy features that he'd never quite grown into.

Further south, every inch of milky skin was loathsome. Draco ran his fingers over his many scars, tracing a large circle around the cluster of Cruciatus circles. Running his palm over the violet Sectumsempra scar that nearly cut his torso into two diagonal halves, he winced at the gruesome appearance of it. Finally, he looked at the most abhorrent scar he had—the skull and snake emblazoned on his left forearm—a shiny, burnt brand on his already marred flesh. The scars that ran parallel to it, a painful reminder of yet another failure.

His long fingers gripped the sink, his knuckles turning white. She wasn't the kind of witch that fell for someone based solely on looks alone. He was a pitiful excuse for a wizard. He'd done so much wrong in his life—so much evil. His actions had caused so much pain. What could he ever do to be worthy of her?

The morning had started with such promise, but he felt as though he were imploding. Emotions warred in his head, the desire to love her and the need to leave her nearly making him feel mad.

The door clicked open behind him and Granger dipped her head in, flushing when she caught sight of his naked backside. Tears trails stained her cheeks, her lip swelled from incessant gnawing. She retrieved his towel and handed it to him, averting her eyes as he stood back from the sink to wrap it around his waist.

He leaned back against the sink, afraid that he wouldn't be able to hold himself up at the sight of her crying over him. Again.

Granger had seen his Dark Mark dozens of times before, but with shame burning through him, he tucked it into his side as he grabbed the sink behind his back. Finally, after agonizing seconds that ticked by almost audibly, she raised her eyes to meet his. "Have you enjoyed the last month?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Wrought with anxiety, Draco bit twice on the fat of his cheek before he answered. "Of course, but that's not the point, Granger."

"Do you want to continue having moments like those we've shared since Christmas?"

"Hermione, you know I do-"

She was silent, and Draco could see something underlying in her hesitance. Warring emotions swirled in the depths of her eyes as they brimmed with tears. "I thought we were getting close?"

Draco's heart beat so rapidly in his chest, he thought it might detach and float through his skin. How could he possibly explain to her what she'd grown to mean to him since their return to Hogwarts? He settled on a simple statement, hoping to convey everything he felt but couldn't voice. "I want that more than anything."

"Then why are you trying to sabotage this before we've even given it a chance?" she demanded, crossing her arms protectively over herself.

"Because it's always going to be this way! I'll be that charming, flirty man you want for a while. But then someone new will find out about us, make presumptions, spread lies and rumors. My self-deprecation will always seep back in and ruin us. Ruin you. I'm not—" His voice broke and he cleared his throat, trying to stave away the doom and desperation he was beginning to feel. "I'm not lovable. And I wish you could see that!"

Granger shook her head, her curls bouncing as she lifted her hands in exasperation. "Bollocks. You're self-deprecation starts to seep in because you allow it to. It's easier for you to see the child you once were than the incredible, striking man you are now. I'm sorry you can't see it, but I do."

"This is going to end in disaster," Draco warned for what felt like the hundredth time. He began to think that she was a masochist, itching for destruction in her desolation.

"Only if you keep overthinking everything all the time. Why can't you just do what comes naturally? Allow yourself some happiness instead of constantly punishing yourself with the thoughts that you don't deserve it? Let your guard down and live a little, Draco. Or you are going to be alone and miserable forever."

"You won't listen to me, dammit," he snarled, slamming his fist against the basin. She wanted to see only one side of him, the side that was easier to love. Some days, he felt as though his past wasn't even a notch on her past timeline. "I'm going to make the choice for you. This is done."

Her fists landed on his chest, and he winced at the pain they brought. "Fuck you, Draco Malfoy. Fuck you! I am staying right here, with you. You need someone to show you what life can be after a war. I'm not proposing marriage, or even a courtship. But you can't keep pushing me away. We need each other."

"I need to keep my head down and finish the school year so I can the Ministry off my arse and Azkaban behind me."

"You need someone who understands you. Theo is too wrapped up in Daphne right now and you have no one. For Merlin's sake, Malfoy, our friendship isn't going to turn the world to ash around us."

Draco studied her for a minute and worked his jaw, irritation with her naivete filling him. She didn't realize he didn't know how. He didn't know how to swallow down the hatred he felt for himself most days. He didn't know how to take things slow and be friends when all he wanted was to hand her every blasted shard of his heart for repair. "We've moved past a friendship into territory I'm not certain I understand."

"I don't understand where we are right now, either," she admitted, leaning her forehead on his chest. "But I know that everything we've done has made me feel more alive than I've felt in years. Being with you feels so right."

Granger stepped closer to him and placed her hands along his abdomen, tucking her fingertips into the top of the towel. "I hope one day to show you what it's like to be loved, Draco Malfoy. I hope we keep going in the right direction and end up madly, properly in love. But for now, we can help each other get through the bad days so we can celebrate the good ones. Together."

Draco felt his resolve splintering with every word she said, the conviction in her features eating away at him. Swallowing hard, he nodded his understanding, pulling his hands from the sink behind him and placing them on either side of her neck. She looked up from where her fingers were running between the terrycloth and his bare flesh and into his eyes. Lifting her hands to his face, she pulled it down to meet hers. Her kiss was timid, asking for permission he didn't quite understand.

Moving to nuzzle along her jaw, Draco took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves and quell the hatred he felt for himself. Granger leaned back, searching his lips out and he relented, biting her bottom lip as he deepened the kiss. He would always relent where she was concerned. He didn't even know why he bothered to try resisting.

Her pulse quickened beneath his palm as it rested on her neck. Draco felt a shaking in her hands as she ran them down his chest and abdomen to the twist in his towel. At her request, they'd not done anything more than snogging up to this point. While he'd spent far too many nights wanking to images of her that were less than holy, he'd given her the respect she requested. She broke the kiss and looked down at his waist, her head shielding her hands from his line of sight. The towel loosened around him and he swallowed hard as it dropped to the floor. This was far different from Pansy. He was older. A survivor. The implications of this measure of trust she extended meant far more than his romps with Astoria. Her hands went away from him, crossing her arms as she fisted handfuls of the oxford she wore, hesitating for a moment before she slowly dragged it up and over her head.

Her skirt joined his towel at their feet and she averted her eyes, looking at a point just beyond his left hip. She'd already removed her tights before she came in, so she stood in a pair of pink cotton underwear and a sensible bra. Draco's heart was beating dangerously quick in his chest as Granger stood before him, a rosy blush climbing across her chest, contrasting pleasantly with the white of her brassiere. He ached to touch her, to run his hands over her flesh, but he thought it best that she lead.

She leaned in and kissed his chest, trying to hide the embarrassed flush of her cheeks as she brought her hands behind her to unclasp her bra and drop it to the floor. Draco heard her unsteady breaths and placed his hands on either side of her neck, trying to sneak a glance between them. Their nakedness was still obscured by her mane of curls as she bowed her head toward the floor and slipped her hands under the band of her knickers. She slid them off, stepping out of them completely before she sighed and finally lifted her face to meet his gaze.

Draco could tell she was just as nervous as he, he could practically feel the beating of their hearts creating a pleasant symphony between them. As badly as he wanted to drag his eyes over her and relish every square inch of her feminine form, he tried to maintain a level of respect. This was the first time she bore herself for him completely.

Granger took his hand shyly and led him to the shower, testing the temperature of the water before she stepped in, pulling him to follow. He got a glimpse of her bare back, the two round dimples at the top of her round, supple arse. He felt his body throb in response. Would she be disgusted at the way she turned him on, with little more than a shy undressing? Surely she expected to have an effect on him. Granger pulled him toward her so that he shared the steady stream of water. Draco leaned down, tipping her face toward him with one finger. He brushed his lips against hers, gliding his tongue along the seam. Her responding kiss was agonizingly slow.

All thoughts of this being a doomed relationship left as he felt her tiny hands on his hips, pulling him closer to her. He threaded one hand into her hair at the nape of her neck and ran the fingertips of the other across her jaw, down over the length of her neck and to trace her left collarbone. Her hands remained firm against him, unmoving.

Deepening the kiss, Granger let out a soft moan as her breasts brushed sinfully against his chest. Her hand clasped over his at her collar, a measured beat passing before she pushed his palm to run between her breasts. His thumb brushed across the soft swell, the rosy mound pebbling further beneath his touch. He ran his hand down across her stomach to rest on the dip of her hip. It took every ounce of self control he possessed not to unleash the full extent of his desire on the unsuspecting witch.

Granger's hand still quaked as she ran one hand over his hip to trace the curve of his arse and used a fingertip on her other hand to trace along the line that led to his pelvis. Her touch lingered and the hand on his arse tightened in a squeeze before she traced along his length, causing him to shiver despite the steam enveloping them. Draco broke the kiss and pulled back to look at her. She seemed to be gauging his enjoyment, a bashful smile on her lips as she returned her hand safely to his hip.

Draco was torn between wanting to slam her into the wall and take her swiftly and roughly, make her scream his name until she shook around him, and slowing everything down and taking this one step at a time. The sensible part of his brain was screaming at him to do the latter, just explore her bare form and not rush into an act she probably wasn't ready for. Fuck.

He bit the inside of his cheek and reached behind her head to grab a handful of hair between both of his hands, stepping back so that she moved forward under the full stream of the water. Her hair soaked up the water until it lay thick and matted across her face and neck and down her back. He kissed her forehead as he reached behind her and retrieved her vanilla hair potion. He ran it between his hands and then into her hair, relishing the slick feel of her curls between his fingers.

The vanilla scent that had haunted him for so long now provided him a sweet comfort, stilling his heart. He ran her hair under the water to wash it clean and she pulled his hips closer to her, their bodies brushing against one another in ways that made his flesh burn with desire any time they made contact. The water and hair potion was running down her body between them, creating a sinfully slick surface and he had to steady himself on his legs before he collapsed with sheer desire.

He grabbed the wash sponge and poured some of his body potion on it, lathering it beneath the water. The effect of their two scents mixing made him heady and he couldn't think clearly. He ran the sponge down over her neck, taking first her left arm and then her right, dragging the sponge wickedly over every inch of her bare skin. Placing both of her hands on his chest, he nipped at the soft mounds of each breast and knelt before her, kissing the area between her them, a straight line down the center of her stomach and across each hip in turn. He ran the soap over the same trail his mouth had made, washing away his tainted kisses. Water ran in tributaries from her chest, dripping onto his face and mouth.

He pressed his forehead into her belly and she thrust her fingers into his hair, pulling softly. Draco used his forearm to pry her legs apart enough to run the sponge between them. His forehead against her lower stomach, he brought his face forward and kissed the soft triangle of flesh at the apex of her thighs, wanting nothing more than to reach forward and taste her. She tugged at his hair, simultaneously trying to pull him away and push him closer.

Meeting her stare, he lifted her foot onto his own knee and skimmed his nose along the supple flesh of her inner thigh. Planting a short trail of kisses before he bit down earned him a shy moan and tug to his hair. He washed away his kisses once more and repeated his tortuous path along the other leg.

Granger tugged on his hair once more, indicating that she wanted him to stand. When he complied, she pulled his face to her own and kissed him, still slowly but more passionately than before. He leaned with one hand against the wall behind her, the sponge still smashed in his hand, the other grasping her face to his.

She pulled away and gave him a mischievous look, moving to push him under the water fully. "It's only fair," she whispered to him, her voice thick with lust.

Granger leaned forward to wet his hair and he leaned his head back into the stream as she pushed it into the slicked style it'd held in his earlier life. Draco watched as she took a dollop of his hair potion and ran it through his hair, her nails scratching at his scalp in a way that had him swallowing a groan. When she was done with the his head she gently took the sponge from his hand. He placed his hands on her shoulders, watching her every move, feeling predatory.

She used her own body potion to wash him, the opposite of what he'd done. He was breathing rapidly and she leaned forward to kiss his Adam's apple just as he swallowed. She dragged the sponge across his arms, leaning to kiss his Dark Mark and he could have sworn he felt it tingle beneath her lips. He knew the message she was trying to convey—that the Mark no longer defined him. It had been the bane of his existence for years now and to have her tenderly acknowledge it instead of running from it put him at ease after the harsh feelings he had suffocated under earlier that morning. Granger was incredible and he knew he didn't deserve her.

She brought her mouth down and kissed his palm and then placed his hand back on her shoulder. He brought it under the wet curtain of hair to rest against her skin. She did the same to his other arm and hand before stepping in to kiss his chest. His muscles flexed instinctively beneath her touch and she let out a soft purr at the back of her throat in appreciation.

Granger kissed the length of his Sectumsempra scar and ghosted her fingertips across the subtle ripples of his abdomen. She knelt on her knees, her feet out behind her, just as he had. But the way she looked, full of sin and secrets, was enough to have him drop his head back and let out a groan. She looked like the perfect image of a witch on a mission as she kissed the 'V' of his pelvis as she washed one leg and then the other. When her chin brushed against his cock, it swayed expectantly, causing him to thread a hand in her hair. "Granger," he growled in warning, the tug at her hair entirely too harsh as she stood.

Draco pulled her closer to himself, their slick skin creating the most delicious slipping sensation. He could feel her heart beating as her chin trembled with the force of it and he knew she could feel his just as rapid against her bare breast.

The water turned cold suddenly causing them to jump apart, laughing, playfully kissing as he reached behind him and turned off the stream. Draco felt clean for the first time in years, her gentle strokes along his skin washing away his self-doubts and reluctance a little bit at a time. And to think, he'd almost given this up. Falling properly in love with Granger.

o-o-o

A/N: Thank you to all who read and review! You make me happy!