They were already fighting. Arguing they called it, but it was more like fighting. I didn't know what they were fighting about, but I heard my name several times. Both of them blaming the other, blaming me. One week, they had lasted one week together, then both of them remembered that I was part of the family as well.

Was this how it had been last time as well? I remembered the fights, the angry voices, but I didn't remember any words. Had it all been about me that time as well? But this time they always waited for my younger brother to leave before they started their arguments. I was happy, it made it easier for me. I didn't have to convince him that everything was fine, didn't have to force a smile in order to calm him.

Had it always been my fault? My fault that they split up, that my brother didn't have his father there when he was growing up? I looked at them through the tiny opening in the door. He said something and she slapped him, and he grabbed her wrist. I didn't want to see but I couldn't turn away.

This is your fault.

I tried to ignore the tiny voice in my head, but I couldn't force myself to look away from what lured it out. He let go of her and they started shouting again. I can't recall getting up, opening the door. It took them a while to notice me standing there.

"Go back to your room."

I couldn't move. He was about to get closer but she grabbed him, told him to ignore me. Their argument continued with me listening to their voices. The words echoed in my mind but didn't stick. I knew them by heart anyway.

"Why..."

My voice was quiet and couldn't penetrate their shouts. Both of them blaming the other for me, both of them blaming me for their problems.

"Why can you never..."

Both of them yelling about getting my brother away from me, yelling about leaving me somewhere so they wouldn't have to see me, yelling at each other for wanting to get rid of me.

"...just SHUT UP?"

They both stopped, momentarily. I blinked, stared at them, blushed. Quiet, just for a while. Then, she looked at me.

"We love you, you know that. Mommy and daddy is just going through a rough time right now."

Lies, we all knew it. I forced all tears back. Her voice was... not cold but it lacked the warmth it held when she spoke to my brother. I shook my head and he grabbed her again, starting the argument once more.

xxxxxx

I don't really remember when I went out to the balcony, but here I am. Staring down on the traffic seventeen floors down. They hurry home to their families, to their pets, and I breathe in the cold air. Night is falling and the stars are looking down on me, blinking to me. The voice in my head awfully quiet except the tiny whisper I can barely make out.

Just a bit closer. That parapet should be easy to climb.

My hands grab it, and I pull myself up, sit down on top of it. The traffic seems further away now, seems closer than ever. The sounds are muffled, the screams inside have died down. My feet are kicking in the air and I smile.

This way they'll be able to stay together.

The smell of mother's perfume hits me as she tries to catch me. Roses, with a touch of lavender. Air rushes past me and I see father grab her before she throws herself after me in a last attempt to catch me. You are free now, we are all free now.