it's been a while, hasn't it?

To be honest, I never expected the Arcshadow to get as long as it is. I also wanted to only focus on the Arclights, not the five OCs i added in as time went on for extra plot. It was never meant to go where it did. After I added time travel and Mariana to the mix, I was literally writing without any guide. I just went with the flow and hoped I'd get something good.

About a month before my last update, yeah a day less year ago, I started losing interest in ZEXAL. The Arcshadow didn't feel fun anymore. Instead, it felt obligatory. And it didn't help that I got kind of depressed around then, too.

I dropped most of my hobbies, writing, editing, everything. I felt like there wasn't anything I enjoyed. Every edit, fan art, and fanfic seemed better than what I could do, further discouraging me. That feeling was furthered by me having to wake up at 5:30 four days a week and being in a class too advanced for me, filled with people who knew what they were doing. And I was sitting there, nearly failing every test, and being overjoyed by when I reached something near a mediocre grade. I'd never felt so behind and stupid in my life. Surely someone lik that couldn't write a good story.

But in late June, an event on Tumblr called "Dazaixhappinessweek" started. Dazai, a central character in the anime Bungo Stray Dogs, is severely depressed and suicidal. There is little to nothing that makes him truly happy, and he feels like he has no meaning to exist. I projected onto him at the time, and writing about him doing things that made him happy made me happy, too. At the same time, I switched my epilepsy medication, which had been known to cause depression and mood shifts. I felt a lot better, and I'm no longer depressed. :)

I got back into writing again. My creativity was in full swing. I joined a couple BSD discords and was absolutely loving life. I still am! But that time left a sour taste in my mouth. I wanted to focus on something fresh, something new. So I rebranded my YT channel, moved to AO3, and wrote all the BSD fanfic I wanted. I finally go9t the opportunity to join an MEP studio, somethin I'd always wanted to do and got a better editing software. I'm beyond happy with how much I've been improving. I loved being actually interested in what I was doing again.

I'm user miss_romantic on AO3 if anyone is interested: /users/miss_romantic

link to SunDownStudio and Fruit Studio (the MEP studios I'm in): channel/UC1x6aT-6OjQG0dfJDd8iz0g channel/UCuA289BfDYIKuaYhRDq5Hsg

and lastly my yt channel: channel/UC4o4fz_ZNVrWLky_BMuog0A

I understand that doesn't make up for the disappointment of getting closure on this fic, though. So, I'll list out some possible endings that I had in mind!

1st idea: The entire ZEXAL cast dies, and future Due and Quattro team up with Mariana to undo that and defeat Don Thousand themselves. Byron becomes an adult again, and everyone gets to live their dreams, just like in the canon ending. But, everyone forgets Due exists, except Quattro and Mariana. Mariana goes back to her original time just before Cahira joins Don Thousand and rewrites time. She meets Nasch and they fall in love and get married, but he dies, like in canon, and she is left as the queen of a broken kingdom. She and Cahira pick up the pieces and begin a new civilization anew. The fic ends with Kite sitting at his desk, wondering why he keeps on having dreams about this bizarre girl. Then Due knocks on his door.

2nd idea: I get rid of the whole Cahira Mariana arc all together and end it off with Vetrix's sacrifice and Due and her brothers getting their souls back.

I'm sorry for leaving you all without warning, but I hope it brings a little closure.