Author's Note: Broadchurch belongs to the BBC and CC. I am not making any money with this.

Rating: T

Summary: When Alec Hardy has a tinder date.

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Derailment

Act II

Ellie Miller didn't think she would ever laugh wholeheartedly again. Well, at least not any time soon. And then, Alec Hardy succumbed to her nagging questions and blurted out, unwillingly:

"For god's sake, it was an online thing!"

She stared at him, thunderstruck. "Wait – an online thing? Like, on the computer?"

"Jesus," he mumbled and rose from his chair.

"But I've seen you trying to write a report. It takes you ages and you hate it. You'd never make it through a whole chat session."

"Stop it, Miller!"

But Ellie's mind was already racing, unable to stop. Not that she wanted to. She had to admit, she sometimes indulged almost diabolically in winding him up. Well, to her excuse, he could be a notorious stiff – it wasn't actually surprising some of the guys called him shithead.

Suddenly, a thought made her eyes glimmer with amusement.

"You didn't do the swiping thing, did you? Like the youngsters?" she asked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied, but it was way too defensive. Alec Hardy probably believed he was inscrutable, but after all the time they had spend together, Ellie had actually become pretty good at interpreting his intonation.

"Oh my god! You did!" she exclaimed.

"Damn Miller, yell a little louder, I don't think everyone in Broadchurch heard you!"

His words didn't even reach her. Her body was shaking with laughter so hard she actually feared she would fall off the chair. In that few seconds, her sorrow seemed to have been swept away; her worries about Tom, Joe, what everyone thought of her were wiped out by her picturing Alec Hardy, misanthrope number 1, presenting on a stupid dating app as England's greatest womanizer.

"I am really glad to contribute to your amusement, Miller. By the way, you spilled your tea."

Ellie looked down on herself to see he was right, but that didn't keep her from giggling, it just made her put the cup on his table. Which earned her another deadly stare.

She wiped her eyes and inhaled deeply to calm down.

"What the hell did you even write there? And what picture did you use?" she asked, her voice still a little high-pitched.

"I didn't do anything! It was Daisy's idea."

"That just makes it sound really miserable, you know," she said and fetched her phone out of her pocket.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"What do you think I am doing? I am getting that thing immediately."

Hardy held out his hand. "Gimme that phone."

"Hush. I need to concentrate."

He bent over the desk, trying to reach for her phone. "Miller, I swear to god..."

"Get off," she replied. "Ah, damn, you need a facebook account... Or wait, maybe..."

"Miller!" he yelled.

She grinned at him. "Was she pretty?"

"Do you think I'm insane? I am not going to tell you another word!"

Ellie shrugged her shoulders. "Fine. Which nickname should I choose... Hmmm..."

"Alright, alright!" he said, raising his hands in defeat. "She was pretty. There, enough nosing around."

"Are you kidding? Nosing around is my job. Sir."

"Miller, if you're not stopping..."

"So, did you bring her home?"

He snorted. "I am not a complete arse."

"Well, that's up for discussion," Ellie said with a smirk. "But... did you get a coffee?"

"We had wine."

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't talk about drinks. Seriously, do you have any idea how this works?"

"If you remember, I have a daughter. That should be proof enough," he said and fell down in his chair, obviously unnerved.

"So you did!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

"For fuck's sake! No, I did not have coffee with her! And I doubt I ever will!"

"But you said she was pretty."

He sighed. "You know Miller, not every man just jumps at a woman because she's pretty. But I suppose in a town as small as this, men still drag women to their caves if they find them suitable."

"I could write you a list."

Hardy stared at her, irritated. "What?"

"Of suitable women in this town. So you could try to drag one of them to your cave, instead of just judging them by their looks and a touch on your phone."

"I did not judge her by her looks."

"Oh yeah, I am sure two lines of personal information gave you a great insight on her personality."

He rose again. "I am going home now. You're obviously too inattentive tonight."

"But I haven't even started with the list!"

He shut the door forcefully. Ellie Miller stared after him – and started to giggle again.

Next time, Ellie will start to question her relationship with Hardy – and we'll see how well she'll cope with that. If you've got a second, please tell me what you think so far.