3During one of the Suppression Squad's runs through their city asserting dominance in Moebius, they were on their way through a hill-filled field when a loud rumbling sound came from the highest part of the field, revealing a landslide of boulders tumbling towards them. Miles screamed and flew away terrified on an impulse as the rest of his gang ran for their lives in a panic, and before he knew it, their screams abruptly stopped. They had been buried under the boulders they were trying to avoid.
Horrified, Miles went into denial immediately and did everything he could to try to preserve their lives. Using his power over the wind, he pushed his hands forwards forcefully and sent blasts of gale force wind out of his palms that ended up sending the boulders flying, revealing his bruised and bleeding allies underneath them. They were lying on the ground with their eyes closed completely motionless, and he could barely stand to look at them in their conditions.
" NO! " Miles exclaimed, and ran towards them in a hurry, sensing a disturbing lack of electricity in them that would've normally indicated brain activity and functioning hearts. Checking their pulses one by one barely got him to accept what had happened, as he went into denial and convinced himself he wasn't doing it right for the moment. The one he was the most devastated about, the one he was the most desperate to save, was Alicia.
Running up to her as she laid face-down on the ground, he shouted, " Alicia! Ally! Ally! " turning her over on her back and trying to feel a heartbeat that wasn't there. " Wake up! " he exclaimed while trembling, and found himself sending electricity into her to force her heart and lungs to do their jobs as normal and return electric charges to her brain, something that, after a few minutes of doing, he realized was futile when he stopped and her vitals did not resume.
" No, no, no… " he said hysterically, shaking his head. Trying to force himself to speak in his more expected sophisticated way, he said, " Your head cannot be hurt that much, s-s-top this foolishness! Wake up! Princess! Ally! Sweetheart! " He was kneeled in front of her, examining her badly bruised head and desperately trying to think of a way to return her to normal. He wished he had an Anarchy Beryl with him more than anything at the moment. For all he knew, it could've saved them.
He jumped startled upon seeing a hand weakly twitch in the corner of his eye and said, " Patch?! " looking over at Antoine's evil twin terrified for him. Patch groaned miserably and nearly whispered, " I can barely move… My back… my head… What am I seeing? " Upon Miles turning him over on his back in a panic, he held back the urge to scream in agony when Miles said, " Hold on, " and cauterized the bleeding wounds on his sides and head with his heat powers, explaining, " Don't worry, I'll stop the bleeding and make it all better. I'm sorry it has to hurt so much, but it's for your own good. " Patch grimaced clenching his fists, and said in a weary but shaky voice, " Just let me die… "
Miles gasped, and said with a serious expression, " No! Don't ever say that again! What the hell kind of friend would I be if I did that? I'm here for you. I'm taking you to the hospital and forcing them to take care of you. You are not dying as long as I can help it! That's final! " He froze the air just surrounding him and the ground beneath him to create a makeshift stretcher for Patch made of ice strapping him inside it, and levitated it with a tornado from beneath after creating one below himself, reassuring him as he started shivering miserably,
" It'll be okay. T-They'll be fine, I'll come back for them. I've been keeping their vitals going with my electricity and I'll continue to do that until they wake up, damn it. In the meantime, you're going to the hospital. Try not to go to sleep in case you have a concussion, " trying to ignore the fact that he already seemed to be unconscious.
With that, he used his powers to fly him and Patch to the hospital in the city nearby. Unfortunately for his already fragile emotional state, while he succeeded in getting Patch to the emergency room, it failed to change his fate in the end. With cracked ribs, an injured back, a broken arm and a concussion, Patch remained unconscious for the rest of the day, showing no signs of waking up with his vitals decreasing and fluctuating until finally, as a nurse had to break it to Miles, Patch flat-lined late in the night.
The second he heard that, he gave up all hope and realized that the Suppression Squad as he knew them were gone forever. Letting go of the denial, he went home as fast as he could in a forced rage to cover up his heartbreak, flying through the stormy skies on a tornado not caring about the rain hitting his face, and collapsed into his bed not caring about feeding himself first and broke down crying until midnight came, letting it all sink in.
Shaking from fear and a low temperature, Miles was overwhelmed with the feeling of isolation and loss, thinking that it wasn't fair, blaming himself, and later on, thinking that he should've expected to have lost them when he was lucky a mutant like him even had people willing to give him a chance, that it was only a matter of time before he was forced to be alone once more.
Vividly having flashbacks multiple times in a row to all the times he was a three-to-four-year-old boy miserably longing for friends, he eventually became fed up, and refused to let the rest of his life be that way.
After some brief consideration, he determined that the best way to fill the void the Suppression Squad left in him, would be to replace them with the closest approximation to them he had, the Freedom Fighters. They were their counterparts, after all, and as their good, more caring twins, they should logically be even more likely to warm up to him and care about him.
But it couldn't be that simple. While they did claim to be heroes who helped people, he was still just a criminal to them. How long would he have to deal with being treated with disapproval, being an outcast in his own home? It would be like being back at the orphanage all over again, surrounded by people he wanted to like him who didn't.
Anti-Tails was faced with the fact that he'd have to become a hero for the rest of his life if he were to successfully earn the Freedom Fighters' friendship and keep it, and as a result of him already being miserable to begin with, this led him into a long, depressing, self-loathing train of thought full of introspection about whether or not he was satisfied with his life as a criminal.
No longer having friends around to peer pressure him, it finally dawned on Miles that for the first time in his life, he had the freedom to actually choose the path he would take in it. Before that point, he had always felt forced into doing the things he did from circumstance. He was forced to steal to stay alive on an island where no one valued his life, and was being forced to do evil deeds to keep the favor of his only allies. He always had a delusion or excuse to justify his actions, one that worked even when he felt that revenge against humanity wasn't enough of a good reason. He was a criminal to either stay alive or keep his friends and a life worth living as a result of them.
He hated Moebius for being full of people who were cruel and prejudiced to him, and the brief time he spent on Mobius never had him experience any prejudice, but he could never have chosen to come live there permanently and reap the benefits of a world with more accepting people because his allies were all Moebians, who would've just wanted him to commit crimes that would make the Mobians hate him regardless. He could never gain what he truly desired, and had to deal with the cons of his place in life in order to keep the benefits it gave him. He repressed the guilt and ignored how disturbing it was carrying out his orders, and pretended he was enjoying himself even more than everyone else was, but deep down, he was conflicted every single day, frustrated with how he wasn't nearly as satisfied with his lashing out as he wanted to be. But rather than being honest about that and opening himself up to scolding, persuasion and even rejection, he kept silent to keep the respect of his peers.
But now he was alone, with no one there to pressure him. He was independent and free. He could very well stay in Moebius, take advantage of the fact that he was made the heir to Alicia's throne, and live a lonely miserable existence as a petty and vengeful king. But that choice would make everything he would do afterwards entirely his fault. He would only end up being embarrassed and frustrated with himself for wasting his time lashing out at the world when he didn't actually want to. He knew he was already breaking down from his loss; the full burden of guilt crashing down on him with no mercy would destroy him.
Thinking back to the landslide that claimed the lives of his allies forced him to think about the fact that he could've died with the rest of them that day. His life would've ended there, and no one would've missed him. His life had flashed before his eyes as he flew away from those falling boulders, and it forced him to focus on the fact that he wasn't happy with how he had lived his life. He wasn't happy with how his life had turned out and the legacy he had made for himself. Life was too short for wasting on what he had done.
Miles thought sadly, " For the first time in my life… I have the freedom to choose what to do with it… and now that I have that choice… I want to make the right decision… I want to do the right thing. " His eyes widened in realization when he finished that thought, unable to believe it when he finally admitted it to himself and realized the implications. Was he truly happy with the legacy he made for himself? While it sounded like an excellent idea terrorizing his dimension because he viewed it as giving bullies who discriminated against him for his second tail what they deserved, ultimately he was only lashing out at people because of a lack of a proper outlet for his anger, and the nagging feeling of guilt that came from trampling on people weaker than himself with the help of the Suppression Squad offset the small satisfaction that came from it.
Revenge didn't get people to stop discriminating against him, it only made it worse and made him even more unhappy with himself. There was always a little nagging voice in his head criticizing his every mistake and flaw and saying that he himself was a bully, often taking on the voice of one of the many bullies he had suffered from in life who always said everything he suffered from was his fault. That was every day of his life, and it was as if the people of his island would always continue to haunt him, even long after Scourge had them all destroyed for what they did to his little brother figure in the past. He wondered if that nagging feeling, his insecurity and self-loathing drilled into him from birth, would at least be lessened if he made more of an effort to do the right thing, for more than just the few who weren't his enemies. If he was a productive person, instead of a detrimental one. " I've been worse than useless… " he thought sadly, wiping his tears away full of bitter hatred for himself.
He wondered if he would be more content in the long-term using his abilities to be productive to the world he lived in, and the idea of being productive on Mobius, a world that might actually deserve his help, sounded strangely appealing, particularly when he thought about how he never held back using his powers to destroy robots. Kintobor's robots never truly did anything wrong, so destroying them felt pathetic, and frustrating, and " surreal, " in a way that he finally accepted meant that it felt wrong. It was thoroughly unsatisfying. He verbally expressed it as them not being a challenge to his criminal friends, who he always had to talk up his evilness to for the sake of getting them to respect him more, but he knew there was something missing that had nothing to do with that.
Destroying harmless street-cleaning robots felt like a petty waste of his time. Destroying the dangerous robots of Eggman would be the most satisfying use of his abilities that he would ever have, making himself look more powerful than ever before on Mobius while being completely in the right. It would be perfect, the ideal way to deal with his stress and to make use of his abilities and live his life.
Destroying Eggman's robots with the Freedom Fighters would be the most satisfying way to get out his anger and relieve his stress, all while feeling completely in the right. He could easily imagine Sonic supporting him on that, aside from perhaps complaining about him not leaving any robots for him to fight and stealing his thunder. He might still have to hold back against robots if that were the case even for Scourge's noble twin.
In fact, the more Miles thought about the idea of becoming allied with Sonic permanently, the more fond of the idea he became. " We seem to work surprisingly well together, " he remembered himself saying to Sonic on his previous encounter with him on Mobius, trying to look casual and relaxed at saying something so gutsy and forward to him. " You could say that, " Sonic had replied to him, so casually that he didn't even turn to look at him or stop smirking from landing his previous attack. He hadn't exactly shown any objection to it. That was before he threw Sonic with Scourge into a portal on Boomer's order and betrayed him. " Bon voyage, hedgehogs! " he remembered saying later, letting himself think that Sonic was just as bad as Scourge to enjoy himself in the moment that he ended up looking back at with regret.
Still trying to wipe away his tears as they kept coming out without stopping, he thought, " Sonic… Will he ever forgive me? " That stunned him into a clear mind for a couple seconds when it dawned on him the double meaning of that sentence. " Sonic… " Which one was he trying to refer to?
Much to his embarrassment, thinking of Sonic always led to him thinking of Scourge, and in desperate times, when he was full of anxiety and uncertainty, Miles always found himself thinking back to Scourge when he was his only friend and instinctively turning to that old version of him for advice, remembering how friendly he was to him back then with a nostalgic fondness and attachment. Conflicted more than ever before from anxiety over trying to carry out what he was planning, with no one left to turn to, it was only inevitable that he would start doing that at that desperate moment. " Damn it. What would Sonic say? " Miles thought, calling Scourge by the name he always knew him as in childhood out of habit.
He remembered what Scourge said to him as advice on how to live his life, vividly remembering a blue hedgehog with shades and a leather jacket smiling at him when he was a very young child. Wearing a leather jacket himself as well as dark sunglasses, his younger self asked Scourge twiddling his thumbs and looking down, " Bro, um, you know how you're the one raising me right? And, um, usually people who do that give valuable life advice on how to live life. W-What would you give me, for, uh, life advice? " still being timid and awkward around his friend. Scourge grinned in amusement commenting, " Never been asked that before, " and then after a brief moment of consideration, he smirked confidently while saying eagerly, " Live life to the fullest! "
Miles remembered that he had asked Scourge in his youthful ignorance, " Uh, fullest? " not understanding what he meant. He was often embarrassed when remembering when he was that young, and one of the reasons was his lack of education showing through; with his limited knowledge of common phrases, words and social customs, it was clear that he had never gone to school, and Scourge usually looked like the wiser one in comparison. Scourge lightheartedly teased him, " You know! " finding his ignorance cute. He chuckled and ruffled his hair before elaborating, " Enjoy life! It's as simple as that. Do what you want, and don't let anybody get in your way! If it makes ya happy, then do it! "
Miles reflected on that, uncertain for what was hardly the only time in response to it, as he often wondered how he was to follow that advice and do what made him happy when he wasn't sure what could make him truly happy to begin with. He usually just did what he was told; happiness was not the priority, loyalty was, because loyalty was necessary to avoid losing his happiness. If he didn't stay loyal, he'd lose his friends and everything enjoyable about life. So in order to keep that from happening, he promised himself that if he ever got friends, he'd do whatever they said, therefore following a strict moral code of his own devising that was more important to him than anything. The hedonism Scourge encouraged was a childish mistake.
That was what separated him from Scourge. He valued his friends more than anything else, to the point of doing things he didn't always feel right about just for them. Unlike Scourge, he lived his life according to rules, because he feared the consequences of breaking them, which would be losing everything he loved. Scourge broke the rule of mistreating his friends and ended up losing their respect and appreciation, and in the end, he even suffered through imprisonment for it. During his train of thought about the likelihood of him becoming a hero, Miles was unable to ignore the implication that him being rule-abiding to that extent, might prove that being honorable and noble was in his very nature when he followed a moral code of his own even in spite of the influence of his criminal friends. The fact that he had never ended anyone's life even when he believed they deserved it only proved it even more.
Scourge on the other hand, only cared about making himself happy, whether it was at the expense of others or not, and Miles didn't want to be like that, but he still wanted a happy life, even if he believed it required doing things he didn't want to in order to obtain and maintain it. In the middle of his grief-stricken breakdown, he had to ask himself a pertinent question. Was being evil lashing out at society giving him a happy life? He only remembered himself being frustrated during those deeds, never actually feeling better. While he respected Scourge and his life advice at first, he was confused at it from the fact that he wasn't sure what he could to do to make himself happy, other than making his friends happy enough to like him. He soon learned in life that he needed to be more in touch with what made him truly happy to understand how to properly follow his brother's advice.
Miles always defined the most reliable means of obtaining happiness as spending quality time with the people who cared about him and reminding himself that they did, so seeking out a new friendship would be the best possible choice of action following that advice. He still had his issues with Scourge for neglecting him later in life, but he had to admit he admired how he could enjoy life, unburdened by such issues as scary and upsetting memories and dissatisfaction with how life was not how he wanted it.
The only way he could think of to follow that advice to pursue happiness, was to apologize to the Freedom Fighters in order to seek out a friendship with them. It would be extremely difficult making himself go through with it, but in the long-term, it could be the first decision he ever made that would give him a genuinely happy life. It was just like Scourge always said, " You deserve to live like a king! Do whatever ya can to get yourself the good life! " He couldn't help but see the irony in how following the advice of Sonic's evil twin could lead to him becoming a hero instead. He could end up becoming one of the closest friends of Scourge's most hated enemy, and all from earnestly following his advice.
Having made his decision and unable to bear remaining in his own dimension any longer, Miles threw off his sheets, jumped out of bed, fled to Boomer's lab as fast as he could and got a hold of the fully functional teleporter Boomer had made for their planned attack on Mobius.
Picking it up and warping there with a flash of green light, he escaped to Mobius with tears still running down his face, and the minute he arrived in a damp cave there in a flash of light, he threw the teleporter to the rocky ground and made throwing motions with his arms flinging lightning bolts at it, grunting and shouting in a fit of a rage against the loss he experienced and the misery his old dimension had caused him. All of those overwhelming emotions came out of him at once and he expressed it in the safest way he knew how. " I'm never coming back! Ever! Again! " Miles exclaimed furiously incinerating the device, as the once clear sky above him became obscured by black rainclouds that proceeded to send torrential rains out of them with rapid thunder and lightning.
After standing over the completely incinerated ashes of where his teleporter used to be panting in exhaustion, Miles caught his breath at last, was frustrated with himself for accidentally summoning a freezing storm for himself from his emotional turmoil, tried and failed to get rid of it because he wasn't in the right emotional state for stopping storms, and stormed out of the cave not even being sure which direction he needed to head in.
He immediately had to force himself to deal with being soaking wet from freezing rain and wind that motivated him to move as fast as he could to the limestone cave that Freedom Fighters HQ was built into. However, his preferred method of flying wasn't ideal in the pouring rain where moving that fast would only make the freezing rain and wind fly in his face much faster, making him unable to see and even colder than before. So with great reluctance, he set about flying in the way he usually had to in the worst of storms.
He jumped in the air hovering over the ground with his spinning tails above him and quickly moved his arms around in a circle to summon a tornado below him to catch and hold him above it, but only temporarily that time, considering the method of flight he'd have to contend with. By shaking his bent-upwards fingers as they were raised slightly above his head, he turned down the temperature of the air around him to freeze its water vapor solid, creating a sphere of ice around him that had a hole in the bottom for him to look through from above as he reluctantly flew with his tails despite the pain, blasting wind behind the ice sphere surrounding him to thrust him forwards four times as fast as before.
He wanted to get out of the rain and get the apologizing over with as fast as possible. His nerves were already shot from having just witnessed the death of all of his friends, and the more time he spent flying to Freedom Fighters HQ in a dark and stormy night, the more nervous he became about approaching the people he had wronged so much in the past, and in an effort to subtly become a permanent ally. He knew he wouldn't receive a warm welcome, and wasn't sure that he would be able to handle it. All he was going to do was give a quick apology and ask to stay with them " for a little while, " assisting them, but even that was nerve-wracking.
A nervous wreck by that point, he was overwhelmed with stress as he couldn't help coming up with the worst case scenarios for how they would react to his presence in the worst possible ways, imagining them shouting at him and attacking him and even tying him up and imprisoning him and calling the international police, all without ever listening to him, or calling him a liar. He was petrified, terrified that even though making himself ask them to let him stay with them and expressing regret for how he treated them in the past would be very difficult for him, it was possible the Freedom Fighters would not appreciate how hard it would be for him and only call him a manipulating liar. The best he could hope for was that he would break down crying in front of them and get their sympathy from that rather than being called manipulating even more, but he was dreading humiliating himself like that, and it only made him feel worse.
By the time he got to their front door, he was trembling, both from the freezing cold rain and wind he had to deal with before he had started flying, and from being completely frightened and hysterical. Shaking his hands to melt the ice sphere surrounding him and free himself, he landed on his feet in front of the locked door, thankful that no one else was watching him. To make sure they wouldn't think he was an enemy the instant they saw him, he moved the flip-switch on each of his spiked bracelets to make the spikes fold harmlessly into them, didn't try to fake an annoyed or dignified expression to look normal when that would only make him look hateful, and took a deep if shaky breath to attempt to steady his nerves before timidly knocking on the door very lightly three times in a row.
The wait that came afterwards was nerve-wracking, as he dreaded the salt in the wound that would be Sally's familiar judgmental glare the minute she'd see him again. He forced tears back by blinking irregularly and trying to clear his mind, not wanting to be humiliated the minute they saw him again. But after an entire minute had passed with him fidgeting and looking around nervously before he finally realized how much time had passed, it dawned on him that it was too late at night for him to get any kind of response from them. It was past midnight when he finally went to Mobius. " I've wasted most of the night crying like a weak-minded fool… " he thought with downcast eyes, his head hung low. He was so ashamed.
He considered ringing the doorbell, but immediately decided against it pulling his hand back like he was about to touch a hot stove, horrified at the prospect that waking everyone up with that would only put them in a very unforgiving mood with him and refuse to listen to what he said. " Of course, " he bitterly muttered to himself, silently facepalming and shaking his head at himself. At first, he instinctively thought about breaking into the house from opening or damaging the window and sleeping in the basement, as he had done as a homeless three-year-old hundreds of times before, but he soon came to his senses upon remembering exactly where he was. Breaking into a house to get a warm place to sleep wasn't an option for him, because that would only land him in hot water with the Freedom Fighters and the police if he was discovered. " No, no… I can't… " he said quietly with his eyes closed, with a sinking feeling losing all hope, holding his head with both hands as it started to ache.
If he was to make a good impression on the heroes the minute they found him in their world, he couldn't do anything to implicate himself. He couldn't commit any crime and then expect them to trust him. It was horrifying for him. He was stuck in the worst possible situation. He was homeless, but unlike on his old island, he didn't have the option of breaking into a house for a warm place to sleep. For at least one night, he was in a worse situation than he had been as " the island mutant, " and that terrified him. He was lucky it wasn't the winter.
Frustrated with himself for not being rational enough to realize he would've wasted his time, and getting irrationally worried that he might never find the Freedom Fighters before they found him and jumped to conclusions, tears welled up in his eyes again obscuring his vision. He jumped into the air spinning his tails behind him like a propellor and flew away as fast as he possibly could forcing himself to look enraged to try and hide it. The cold wind and rain stung as it was sent towards his face and body much faster than normal as he was propelled forwards in the stormy sky by wind blasting out of his palms behind him, but he was so overwhelmed by his thoughts and anxieties that he didn't care. " Who cares if I freeze now?! " he thought in frustration and sadness, hating his situation and himself.
Landing on his feet in front of the cave several minutes later, he ran inside the cave taking shelter from the storm and sat down in exhaustion, shivering uncontrollably with his bottom lip quivering blinded by the tears. Accepting his situation, Miles slowly laid down on the cold hard rocky floor, breaking down sobbing on his side with his eyes squeezed shut and his tails wrapping around himself for warmth, longing for a comforting embrace that would never come. With his arms around his chest shivering on the ground to try to emulate such an embrace, exhaling in short sharp breaths and then gasping every so often to breathe in the thick moist air of the cave that only made him feel worse, everything about his experience was directly reminding him of when he was a very young child, forced to sleep in cold caves with no proper home for himself on an island full of people who demonized him from birth. " It's not fair… " he thought, not bothering to speak out loud when his voice would only come out as a pathetic whimper and make him feel even worse.
Miles spent the rest of the night tossing and turning on the cave floor, lost in memories of the past and fearing the future. He wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to take it. With the fear that it was all hopeless buzzing around in his head, he wondered if keeping himself alive at that point was even worth it. He felt overwhelmed, trapped, and helpless.
When morning finally arrived, he realized to his dismay that he hadn't slept at all, and with his eyelids feeling heavy and his eyes still watering, he reminded himself of what he couldn't put off doing. He had to force himself to push himself up off the rocky floor, stand up feeling unsteady and disoriented, and slowly walk to the Freedom Fighters' base in the freezing rain, too exhausted to fly there and get there faster.
The bottoms of his boots were soaked through the soles at that point, and his gloves were dripping wet above his bracelets, sticking to his hands more tightly in the process. As he passed by puddles on the ground during his walk, seeing his muddy reflection in them only made him feel even worse, as all he could see in them was a freak, a two-tailed abomination of nature, and if that wasn't bad enough, one who used to be a criminal at that, a villain. If one aspect of himself wouldn't get him discriminated against, he was certain that the other one would. Would his situation improve at all? He eventually started trying to ignore the puddles entirely, hoping he wouldn't break down crying out in the open during the day, even if there was no chance of anyone seeing him in the wilderness.
When he finally reached the door to the base again, there was no one there to answer the door, and when he made it all the way to Sally's castle, tears running down his face by that point, he couldn't bring himself to ring the doorbell, knowing there might be a panic caused if the wrong person answered the door. This was enough to break his resolve, and he ran back to his cave with tears in his eyes losing all hope and courage.
He was terrified that if he did get allowed to stay with them, he would be ostracized by the Freedom Fighters for the rest of his life at best, or rejected by them outright at worst. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life miserable and alone, doing nothing but crying in a cave in between somehow finding meals for himself. After waiting for one of the Freedom Fighters to come to him through a miracle, he eventually started to give up.
" Well, it looks like you're fully healed, " Tails said to Miles after a week, examining where the gash in his tail used to be. He threw away the last of the bandages on him as Miles tried and failed to hide how depressed he felt from knowing that he was expected to leave. Noticing how he was feeling, Tails smiled nervously as Sonic looked at him with concern, and said awkwardly, " I don't blame you if you don't wanna tell me where you're gonna go now, since we were enemies for most of our lives. I don't know how I could even get the information out of you anyways. I-I just want you to know that, I'm here for you. I-I understand you a lot better now, I've gotten to know you better – both of us have – so, um, if you're ever hurt again, you can come to me. "
Miles felt his eyes start welling up with tears and smiled at hearing that. It felt so good knowing that he had only been with him for a week and already he had his forgiveness. " Thank you, " he almost whispered, with a voice full of appreciation. He had to force himself to not give the game away right away and ask if he could stay with them forever, because he didn't want to push his luck, and he wanted his apology to all of the Freedom Fighters to be a pleasant surprise. He let a sad sigh escape him as he walked out the door, leaving Sonic and Tails' house as freezing rain started falling from the sky once again.
As soon as he left, he spun his tails behind him like a propellor bursting forwards from a gale force wind, jumped into the air as he hovered forwards and kept that momentum going as he moved his arm in a circle, creating an uplift of air below him raising him up into the sky. With that, he flew high up into the sky, still moving just as fast as he was when he was running on the ground, and focused his sights on the ground below in an effort to find his next destination. Annoyed at how far away from him the ground was, Miles squinted in an attempt to make sense of the blurry mass of shapes below him, cursing his increasingly nearsighted vision. He had always had that difficulty, at least ever since he was four years old when he got pepper-sprayed in the eyes by a woman whose home he had broken into for food.
It must have taken over an hour for him to finally reach the place where the Freedom Fighters spent most of their time, but he wasn't keeping track of the time, miserable and shivering with his entire body and the clothes on his back dripping wet sticking to him. Eventually, when he knew he was only a straight line away from his destination, he landed on the ground and started walking to save energy, with his head hung low the whole time looking down away from the rain above him. He barely stopped himself in his tracks in time to not walk right into the door of the base, and internally put himself down for that absent-minded mistake, thinking bitterly, " Miles, you idiot… " to himself as he shook his head with his hand on it.
This only distracted him briefly from his emotional turmoil, and after looking back up at the door nervously, his pupils shrunk as he looked horrified, and he took a deep breath preparing himself trying to be brave. He had to force himself to once again timidly knock on the door in front of him, hoping that knocking as lightly as he could with his shaking hand would somehow make the Freedom Fighters less suspicious of him upon seeing it was him. He was hoping against hope with all of his heart that things wouldn't turn out badly for him, and felt a horrible amount of pressure to do everything right, because he couldn't afford a single mistake. He was on thin ice, and the wrong move would cause it to crack open beneath him.
When the door opened in front of him at last, he had to force himself not to yelp startled and instinctively run away, with his jumping at the door opening being his only reaction. It was Sally who opened the door, and she gasped shocked at seeing him immediately, her eyes widening and stepping back a little instinctively. Her facial expression quickly became one that distrusted him and took him seriously as a threat, just like he had worried, but her eyes were shrunken in surprise and worry. Terrified that she'd attack him, Miles knew he would have the best first impression as a potential ally if he made sure that an apology was the first words out of his mouth, and without even the slightest delay.
" I'm SORRY about earlier! I-I-I'm not here to fight you! Can we, can we talk?! " Miles forced the words out as quick as he could to try to get her to relax, stuttering while shivering from the freezing cold rain he had to deal with on the way there. Apologizing to her even in that short minimalistic way made him feel very self-conscious and uncomfortable, and he was hoping she wouldn't just dismiss his apology as a lie just because he was trying to placate her and the Freedom Fighters with it. He wondered if he would end up breaking down crying if after all the effort he put into making himself apologize, they treated him like that.
" He looks awful… " Sally thought upon examining the evil fox, in spite of her distrust of him. The spikes on Anti-Tails' bracelets weren't jutting out as before, and she realized that he had retracted them into narrow folds in them, presumably to appear harmless. His expression was sad and frightened, he was shaking, and he was soaking wet from head to toe, to the point of his normally neat dark gray streak of hair being messy and drooping in front of his face. There were stress lines under his eyes, and his eyes were a bit bloodshot and red with streams of water directly below them that were stained into his white muzzle, which almost looked like tear stains compared to the water droplets on the rest of him. In that vulnerable humble position where he looked as if he was about to cry, he reminded her of Tails. His trademark condescending or bitter expression was gone, and he looked like a completely different person.
In the second and a half of anxiety-inducing silence where Sally reacted to his presence with surprise, Miles couldn't stand the feeling of being judged, and worried irrationally that him being wet would discourage her from letting him inside because he would track water into the base, frustrated with himself for not thinking of that and having no way to dry off first. He was starting to feel like the situation was hopeless, and felt a panic attack coming on that he actively resisted expressing openly.
" Miles! " Sally exclaimed with a scared expression that made him dread a lack of trust coming his way. " How long were you out in the rain?! " she said, revealing that she was worried about his well-being. Stunned at her concern, Miles stammered, and took a few seconds before saying uncertainly, " Hours? I, I don't know. I, wasn't keeping track of the, passage of time… " adding in his thoughts that he never really could. He thought, " Why'd she ask that? Is she worried about me? Already?! I… I shouldn't be surprised, she's Alicia's ' good twin, ' but, this must be too good to be true… "
While he was lost in thought, he failed to notice Sally turning to Sonic on the living room couch behind her and ordering him, " Get him a towel and blankets! He's freezing! " and Sonic running out of the room in a blue blur and immediately going back to it holding some blankets and a red towel in front of him. Sally then turned back to Miles and told him, " Okay, come inside first, we can talk on the couch, " snapping him out of his train of thought.
He jumped a little from her intimidating him unintentionally with her commanding tone and distrusting facial expression, and was embarrassed with himself for looking like such a coward. It was clear that Sally was speaking to a child that she viewed as a troublemaker, a juvenile delinquent who couldn't be trusted, and it felt both condescending and anxiety-inducing at the same time. He was still in trouble for the way he always acted in the past, but at the very least, he was being shown compassion instead of immediately being rejected. His head hung low, he reluctantly forced himself to follow her, being so irrational at the moment that it didn't occur to him that her irritated disposition, much like with Alicia, was being used as a cover for her concern for him.
Sonic dried him off and then wrapped the towel around him the minute he walked into the base, and then covered him over with the blankets after he sat down on the comfortable couch, and the familiar experience of a blue hedgehog drying him off and giving him blankets while looking concerned for his well-being warmed his heart from nostalgia for a friendship long gone. He was ashamed, and frustrated with himself for how he still missed Scourge, and how close his friendship with him was when they only had each other, and how he was so stuck in the past that seeing Sonic always directly reminded him of Scourge. All he needed was shades and a leather jacket, and he'd be perfect, if not even better, because he wouldn't waste all his time committing crimes and chasing girls. He'd be the brother he always wanted.
" T-Thank you, " Miles finally responded in a hushed quiet voice, after being silent for a few seconds stunned at the sudden compassion. He quickly looked around the living room taking in the sights at last, finally realizing that aside from Antoine and Amy, all of the Freedom Fighters had happened to be in the room upon his arrival, including Tails, the one he had treated the worst. And yet, no one seemed to be glaring at him. He could certainly recognize fear in them, but the way they were looking at him, they seemed to be more concerned for his well-being and curious about what he intended to say. This was too convenient. It had to be.
Sally sat beside him looking nervous, with Sonic on the other side unintentionally comforting him with his mere presence, and said, " You're welcome, Miles. It was nice of you to apologize, " appearing annoyed and reluctant to speak with him, before questioning him, " So why aren't you with the others? Where's the Suppression Squad? " Hearing that question only brought back old emotions in him and made tears well up in his eyes, reminding him directly of the void they had all left in him with their deaths. He remembered vividly the gruesome image of them being crushed under the falling rocks, and could barely answer her question, fearing the possibility that she wouldn't believe what he would say or even accuse him of being the one responsible. " They… " he whispered, looking devastated with his head down as his voice became choked up.
" Anti-Tails?! " Amy exclaimed all of a sudden upon entering the room, startling Miles off the couch and getting everyone's attention in an instant. Believing that he was misleading everyone, she impulsively screamed and smacked him in the side with her hammer before anyone could stop her, sending him flying and landing on the floor painfully. " Amy, what is wrong with you?! " Sally yelled at her right away, which failed to reassure Miles, as he was too focused on what just happened to care. His worst fear had been realized; one of the Freedom Fighters had attacked him just for showing up, without even letting him talk first. How long would it be before the rest of them turned on him?
" I knew it! I knew it! Why did I trust you?! Wh-Wh-Why did I think you'd all give me a chance? " he exclaimed with a choked up voice, humiliated by the tears escaping his eyes at last. As Sonic and Tails rushed to his side and lifted him up to a standing position reassuring him, " It's okay, " and helping him back to the couch, he couldn't help but think about how he'd feel if the rest of them attacked him like that, vividly imagining them beating him up for revenge.
" Calm down! " Rotor said to him worried, followed by Bunnie telling him, " That was just Amy! " and Nicole reassuring him in a kind tone, " None of us are going to hurt you! " Tails then told him unhappily, " Exactly! As long as you don't hurt us, " smiling nervously at the end as his show of compassion finally snapped Miles out of it.
Meanwhile, Sally was scolding Amy for her impulsive act of violence with her hands on her hips. " He was on the couch with blankets over him, for Pete's sake, have some compassion! You're too violent for negotiations. " Amy exclaimed sadly, " I'm sorry! I just saw Tails' evil twin and thought he was misleading you or something!... I didn't think it would make him like that! " looking really remorseful and uncomfortable by the end of it.
Hearing that even Rosy the Rascal's counterpart was showing compassion for him stunned Miles into silence once again, and he frantically wiped away his tears humiliated on the couch, sniffling with Sonic and Nicole on either side of him reassuring him with comforting gestures. A towel was wrapped around him once again with the blankets being over top of it, both of which were doing a splendid job of warming him up.
" It's okay, relax! " Sonic said in concern, rubbing his shoulder beneath the blankets, with Nicole shushing him and stroking his head to calm him down. Unfortunately, Sally had to ask him again, " S-So where's the Suppression Squad? " Feeling very pressured to answer to avoid getting in trouble, he forced himself to reveal the answer, with the words directly reminding him of what happened and taunting him in the process. " They're dead! I couldn't save them! " Miles exclaimed with a choked up voice, with his shaking from the sheer terror being combined with his shivering from the cold.
Everyone around him looked stunned and horrified from the revelation, and Miles, terrified that they might accuse him of doing them in, forced himself to try to elaborate the best that he could when doing so only filled his mind's eye with scary memories. " It all happened so fast! The boulders came falling and I-I-I, I couldn't save them! I saw it happen! I saw… " Miles said in a panic, with his pupils shrunken and appearing to be staring at something far off in the distance that no one could see.
Ashamed, he covered his face with his hands to try to give himself a little dignity as he hid the tears from everyone too late for it to work, upset at how his gloves were so wet from the rain that they completely failed to dry his face successfully. He couldn't take them off to dry his eyes when that would only reveal his scars. His tails beneath the towel and blankets were wrapping around his knees and back as he sat with his knees drawn up in front of him, desperately trying to comfort himself and hide his expression. He wished more than anything that someone would just hug him already, and a part of him hated them for not doing exactly that. It didn't feel fair, even though he knew he used to be their enemy and had no right to feel entitled to such a thing. He felt both victimized and disgusted with himself for feeling that way.
" It's okay! You're safe here… " Sally reassured him after several seconds of being silent in shock, not sure how to respond. Bunnie said sadly, " That's awful… " which was what Sally had considered saying and decided against because she thought that kind of response would only upset Miles even more. " A landslide? That's what happened? " Nicole asked him sadly, with her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
No one failed to realize how strange and risky it was to be giving those comforting gestures to Tails' evil twin, when for all they knew he might attack them for it, but they were too overwhelmed by the situation for that to keep them from showing him compassion. Miles nodded, his eyes closed and his knees drawn up with his head hung low hidden behind them. Humiliated didn't even begin to describe how he was feeling at the moment, and the only thing comforting him was the idea that their pity might be the only thing making them sympathize with him and listen.
" You really cared about them… " Sally said in realization, saying what everyone else was thinking. They were shocked that Tails' evil twin actually cared about someone other than himself, to the point of having a minor breakdown at losing them, and wondered if he had always been that way or had changed. When he nodded reluctantly in response to Sally, Nicole stated, " He hasn't lied once since his arrival! Even when he apologized! He's telling the truth about everything, " taking advantage of her convenient ability to be a living lie detector to help his case. This reminded Miles of that ability of hers, and he was caught between dreading dealing with it and knowing he should appreciate how she'd prove his truthfulness when it counted.
" He's heartbroken. He's not faking any of this… " Nicole added sadly. " No kidding. I've never seen him cry before! Poor kid. You can't fake a reaction like that, " Amy replied unhappily, getting another brief scolding look from Sally as a result. " What? " she asked in confusion, not realizing that she might have come off as rude.
" Could I stay with you for a while? " Miles forced out at last, saying what he had planned to say from the very beginning while terrified of being told no. After a brief awkward second-long-silence where the Freedom Fighters reacted to it stunned and Miles tried to get his courage to speak back, he blurted out, " I have nowhere else to go! I'm stranded on Mobius and no one wants me home! I can't go back to being alone! "
He looked terrified at possibly giving his plan away and stammered nervously with a fake smile, " I-I-I mean, not right away, I mean. It's no big deal, I just, need to stay here for a little while u-until I get over it. " His facial expression became more earnest and serious as he said passionately, " I'll do anything you want to pull my weight while I'm here! I'll follow any order you give to me. I'll do whatever you want! I'll be happy to fight that ' Eggman ' with you!... Please?... "
Another brief silence followed, and Miles kept his eyes squeezed shut drying his tears to avoid seeing everyone's reactions, worried frantically at how Nicole was clearly able to tell when he was lying. He considered trying to tell them about the weather powers he had discovered since their last encounter as a way to persuade them into believing he'd be useful, but decided against it because they might not believe him, or only fear him for it at worst. Showing them would only startle them into attacking him at seeing him summon electricity from his hands and instinctively think he was threatening them, or at least it'd get that response from Amy anyways. Once again, he felt trapped, completely at the mercy of the cruel whims of fate.
" Miles, the weather's awful out and you have no one else to turn to, of course you can stay! As long as you agree to be under constant supervision, and obviously not break the law. " Sally said outstretching her hand at the end, being compassionate at first and serious and wary by the end.
" Deal! I swear on my life, " Miles said to her shaking her hand, taking it very seriously while still being on edge. He was ashamed of how much he was appreciating simply holding someone's hand, and forced himself to let go. Sally noticed that, just like the last time she shook his hand, his grip was gentle rather than firm, as if he was using it as an excuse to hold someone's hand. He didn't squeeze the hand at all, and she was doing the majority of the shaking. She supposed she should've taken that kind of " wimpy " handshake as a sign that he wasn't that bad, that at the very least he wasn't the type to assert dominance and control over someone at the slightest of opportunities and cared more about feeling loved.
" I'll be sure to keep Nicole around you at all times to make sure you'll always be telling the truth. Not that I don't trust you not to try anything right now. I just want to be sure, " Sally stated seriously, being a bit nervous at the end. She still didn't entirely trust him not to give in to his old evil ways, and Nicole could tell how shaky things were for him and decided not to risk anything for him by revealing that he was lying about his stay being temporary. She wasn't entirely sure how well things would work out, Tails' evil twin trying to be a hero out of loneliness, but her hope was that with positive role models around making him use his abilities for good, and with enough empathy being shown to him, Miles might end up realizing the error of his ways because of them and changing for the better. None of that would happen if he was rejected as a Freedom Fighter on day one because of her. So she kept quiet, hoping she wasn't being a bad friend to Sally by doing so.
" M-Miles? " a male voice suddenly said to him in shock, with the familiarity of it and French accent immediately reassuring him that he wasn't an enemy. " Antoine! " Tails said getting everyone's attention, noticing him walk into the room looking worried and concerned. After briefly being completely still, he went up to Miles in a hurry, and responded to his emotional turmoil with a concerned, " What's wrong?! Don't tell me something, happened to them… " It was clear to everyone from that reaction that he knew Miles better than any of them did.
Looking awkward at first, Bunnie finally said, " Look, I know you don't like talking about your time disguised as Patch, but, I think now it'd be the best idea to, well… talk about what you've learned. " Sally, feeling she could word it better, ordered him, " What she means to say is, Miles is going to be helping us out for a while, and as someone who has spent an entire year with him, you are a valuable source of information. Tell us everything you know about him. "
Antoine looked over at Miles in pity, and then replied awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, " You mean, right in front of him? " knowing that he would only embarrass him even further. Miles forced out despite his voice cracking, " I've been humiliated enough! F-Fine, tell them what you know about me, but at least do it behind my back so that I don't have to hear it. I already know how pitiful I am… " He said the word pitiful with scathing self-loathing and bitterness for himself, and his first sentence had him terrified afterwards that his raising his voice had landed him in hot water.
Tails had to hold back a gasp from hearing his supposedly arrogant evil twin express self-hatred like that, and said impulsively, " No you're not! Anyone would be upset from going through that! It'll be okay… " in spite of his history with him. Miles wasn't sure if he'd get used to having to be polite to Tails, someone he was still very envious of and didn't entirely respect, but he at least was already growing to appreciate his kindness.
" Thank you, " he replied reluctantly, and was unable to hold back smiling a little with his eyes closed from Tails briefly giving him a reassuring backrub. He knew he would grow very fond of that kindness from him, but he couldn't help but wonder how he earned it. He vividly remembered the last thing he had said to him as an enemy, and his smile faded. " Please don't talk, little boy, we're trying to have an intelligent conversation. " A tear ran down his face, and he quickly wiped it away, self-conscious as more of them started to come out.
Unable to hide from it any longer, he held back a deep sigh of regret at being reminded of how condescending and hateful he could make himself sound, looking depressed with his head hung low and subconsciously leaning closer to Tails on the couch, savoring the compassion. " No wonder people can only sympathize with me out of pity… " he thought bitterly to himself. Being treated with such compassion by the " little boy " after all of that felt horribly wrong, and he was determined to make sure that treatment would become earned and deserved, which he could only do by painstakingly making it up to him.
Thinking ahead to the idea of himself being awkwardly polite to Tails, he concluded that it would be very difficult. But he had to do it, because if he started repaying his kindness with hatred, it would only make him feel worse, and he'd soon lose it and never be able to get it back. At the same time, he knew he couldn't overdo it, because the Freedom Fighters would only get suspicious at worst and weirded out at best, defeating the purpose of making it up to them because they wouldn't appreciate it at all. So all he could manage to do at the moment was mumble quietly, " I'm sorry… " to Tails as he put his arm around his evil twin.
" Okay, Antoine. We'll wait, " Sally said understandingly to Antoine, who hoped he'd be able to get away with keeping some of Miles' more humbling secrets for as long as he could. Wanting to at least help a little as he sat next to Bunnie on the armchair, he said, " Just be patient with him. He's not that bad. I'd be lying if I said he didn't hate humanity, but he, has a heart… " Everyone nodded in understanding, still stunned at everything that had happened recently.
Sally ordered Miles, " Take off your boots and shirt, they're soaking wet and need to be dried, " and he nodded and followed the order, despite a bit of difficulty removing the turtleneck. He then handed them to Bunnie who had her arms outstretched for them and left the room carrying them. As everyone else in the room continued to look at him sympathetically, Antoine reassured Miles in a quiet voice, " I know you're nervous, but the hard part is over now. You've already apologized. Now you just have to behave and everything will be fine. "
Miles sighed sadly, still wiping away tears, and said sadly with a slightly cracking voice as Bunnie returned to the living room, " I don't feel like my apology was really enough. It was just three words, it probably came off as just an afterthought. You don't know how much I've thought about it… and how hard it was for me to say it! I-I just want you to know that I'm not proud of what I did with my old gang, and what I did to you. Even back then, I didn't like looking back on it. I'm not gonna try and lie and say that I never hated humanity, even now I don't like or trust people as a whole, but that doesn't make me proud of how I wasted so much of my time lashing out at the world and following their orders just so I could have friends. I-I'm not making excuses, I just want you to better understand that I didn't really have much of a choice back then, a-and I didn't have anyone else willing to be there for me. I wouldn't still be alive if I hadn't settled for them, and that's why I can't bring myself to hate them as much as everyone else does. But just because all that isn't my fault doesn't keep me from being, regretful. "
Everyone listened to his awkward apology with worried and sometimes wary expressions. Antoine wasn't suspicious at all, and neither was Nicole, or Sonic and Tails, but the other Freedom Fighters were torn between being sympathetic to and proud of him, and being very confused and skeptical. By the end of it, Miles had broken down crying once again, and Sonic gave into temptation and hugged him on the couch, surprising everyone in the room except for Miles himself, who relaxed his shoulders at being hugged by a blue hedgehog again.
Miles was torn between staying completely silent until necessary just to be safe, and trying to say everything he wanted to say so he wouldn't be depressed at holding it inside. With a reassuring look from Tails in response to him trying to dry his tears, Miles said awkwardly with a slightly choked up voice, " S-So am I, um, going to be stuck without a shirt until it dries? Well, obviously, yes, I just mean, I don't have a change of clothes. Or anything, really. All of my belongings are back on Moebius. I-It's not a big deal to me or anything, just, never mind… " He was scared at the end of being seen as materialistic and demanding.
" What'd he own anyways, 'Twan? " Sonic asked Antoine casually, trying to lighten up the mood by acting more cheerful. Fortunately, everyone else got the hint and followed suit, trying their best to smile and act natural as Antoine explained, " Well, he had lots of CDs, mostly of the rock genre of music, and obviously a CD-Player to hear them with. He also had a violin and a violin bow. Um, let me think… Technically the castle piano was Alicia's, or more like her family's in general, but it was basically his because only he ever used it. What else was there? Nothing really. Spare clothes resembling the ones he already had, um, and he still had his old leather jacket and shades stuffed in his closet. They obviously wouldn't fit him anymore. "
Miles looked embarrassed at the end, since Antoine made it clear, or at least Miles thought he did, that the clothes Scourge gave him held sentimental value to him. He also couldn't help but be saddened by being reminded that he officially lost them, and his spiked bracelets were all he had left of his brother.
" How'd you know all that, exactly? Why'd he let you in his room? " Amy asked, Sally being a bit annoyed at her again because she was making him feel self-conscious being talked about as if he wasn't even there. Antoine answered unhappily, " I found out the first time he had a fever when I was there. I volunteered to take care of him until he got better, and so I spent a lot of time in his room watching TV as a result. Oh, right, he also had a TV, an HD one, not that it mattered because he never really watched it. "
" You don't mind that he looked in your room and stuff, do you? " Amy asked Miles, being the blunt one once again. This time, it was for the best, as Miles shook his head and answered unhappily, " He couldn't help being curious. He just wanted to get to know me better, and since he had to disguise himself as Patch, he couldn't outright ask about things he was expected to already know, so he was probably just trying to get himself better informed in any way he could. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. "
By that point, his tears had stopped at last, and he was already starting to feel better, getting used to being around the Freedom Fighters as it finally began to sink in that he wasn't unwanted there. If he really had a reason to be worried, they would've already mistreated him. He looked around the living room glancing at everyone's facial expressions just to be sure, and sure enough, none of them seemed annoyed with him or suspicious. All he had to do was keep being well-behaved, and things might turn out fine in the end.
