42"Jimmy! Jimmy, I think I found a piece of your hair or something to get into the lab! Jimmy! Oh come on!" I growled. "Stop being such a wuss and- AH!"
A book went flying across the room and hit the wall, making a dent and falling onto my bed. I turned around the glared at where my bookshelf was.
"Stop being a brat!"
I felt the small hair being taken from my hands and made a noise as another book flew across the room.
"Jimmy, stop it!"
"Find me!" he shouted.
"If you hadn't just taken that piece of hair out of my hand-"
"You really think that that was a piece of my hair?! Think for a minute, Cindy! There have been at least four other families besides yours since my parents moved out! Just because its brown doesn't mean it's fucking mine! Try harder!"
"Stop throwing books! You're screwing up the walls!"
"I. Want. You. To. Find. Me!" he said, with each word throwing a book at me.
One finally got me across the face and I yelled, covering my face with my hands.
"Cynthia! What are you doing up there?!"
"Dr-Drama class again, Mom! Sorry!"
I waited to make sure she didn't come up the stairs and took my hand off of my cheek, seeing a streak of blood on my fingers.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Jimmy?"
I suddenly felt a hand grab my face, squeezing my cheeks together.
"Nothing but blood will open that laboratory. Don't you dare come in here with shitty excuses."
"You're not being fair, Jimmy!" I yelled, moving from his grasp. "You're asking me to do an impossible task and then get mad that I can't do it? I mean, seriously. Play hide and seek with the invisible kid, right? That's the logical, scientific advice that you came up with in order to get the one person who is willing to try and help you to help you. That's what the boy genius came up with? And not only that, you act like it's a secret if you tell me what exactly happened to you."
"Telling you won't fix the problem."
"Yes it will! It will give me something to work with. You're just basically throwing out riddles and hoping I'll catch the punch line. And if it's blood that you need to get into the lab, why haven't you cut yourself and tried it?"
"Because unfortunately I haven't had anything to cut myself with and glass is a pain in the ass to get out."
I stopped for a moment. "You… cut yourself with glass?"
"Once or twice but little pieces of it get under your skin, since it's made up of little slivers and such so…"
"And… you didn't think that would work?"
"Ironically, when you slit your wrists, Cindy, sometimes too much blood comes out and you just pass out." He said angrily and the door opened and closed hard.
I stared at the closed door and just realized that he just told me he tried to kill himself before. I've had friends that liked to cut and all but to actually go unconscious… I open the door and head to the bathroom to see what the damage is on my face.
I laid in bed thinking about how lonely Jimmy must have been all this time. There's a difference in being alone and being lonely because you can have people around and still feel lonely. In whatever state he's in, I guess being mistaken for a ghost or a nuisance would start to play tricks on you. Then when there's no one else here in the house and you're all by yourself, I guess it would get way too much. It's different if you can do things to entertain yourself while you're alone…
I feel bad for saying he should have used the blood to try and get into his lab. That was really insensitive of me… I reached over and grabbed my phone, finding the number Jimmy texted me from.
-Jimmy, this is Cindy. I'm sorry that I said what I did about cutting your wrists. That was insensitive of me. I know you think that I'm not wanting to cooperate with you but you REALLY are making it difficult because you won't tell me the whole story. I really want to help you get back to normal, but you need to trust me.
I nodded, leaving it at that. My phone went off and I looked over at it, grabbing it.
-Come to the bathroom. I want to show you something.
I made a face but got up, slowly going to my bathroom. I opened the door and turned the light on.
"Turn it back off." I heard quietly. I turned it back off. "Don't move… this is difficult for me."
I stood in the darkness of the bathroom, seeing all sorts of weird patterns in the complete darkness when I felt something like arms come around my shoulders and someone press against my back.
"Do not scream."
"You sound like a serial killer." I whispered.
"I know but I don't want you to wake up your parents. I'm turning on the light… Actually, close your eyes."
I closed them, not like it could get any darker, but I could see the change through my eyelids where the light was turned on.
"Okay, open."
I opened my eyes slightly to let them get adjusted to the light and then blinked and then gasped, finding Jimmy directly behind me in the mirror. He had gained more weight from pictures I had seen but I thought when they said he was fat that it was a really drastic change. The boy in the mirror wasn't exactly ripped, but he wasn't too far off from what I had seen. Some people can look completely different when they lose or gain a lot of weight, but this was… pleasant. He stared at me in the mirror and I realized his arms were over my shoulders. I looked at them and felt my heart beat faster. All over his arms in every direction were scars. Side to side, up and down, diagonal, deep, shallow, you name it.
"Oh my god…" I whispered.
"You are the first person to ever see what this is doing to me. It might look like a bundle of unconnected attempted suicides, but they all represent weeks of being stuck this way. Each week, I would cut myself just to make sure I was alive enough to die. Sometimes I got lucky and passed out, other times I just wanted to make sure I could still feel. I used glass a lot, but when people lived here, I'd take a knife or something else sharp." I met his gaze in the mirror, my blue eyes meeting his brown. "Either way, being this way has taken a toll on my sanity just a tad. That's why I want you to find me."
"I see you right now."
"This doesn't count." He said with a playful smirk. "I'm doing this out of courtesy… I felt that you should understand the significance of being liberated from this hell. I know you have been wondering what I mean by 'find me' but I honestly don't even know what that means anymore. I'll know it when I see it, but I really just don't know."
I found myself reaching up and touching his arms, which he immediately pulled away from me. He turned out the light and when I got to reach back to turn it back on, he wasn't there anymore.
"Just doing that, being so close to you, it's making me shake." I heard Jimmy say, so I guess he's sitting on the lid of the toilet.
"You didn't have to do that if it was uncomfortable."
"I know I seem like I'm a petty, vapid, invisible(esque) teenager who talks in riddles, but the truth is that I have a lot of trust in you. You're my ticket out of this hell and maybe even along the way, giving me a little bit of normalcy back. You're smart, talented, and extremely patient. No one has tried to do anything for me, and yet… here you are…"
I leaned on the sink. "Jimmy… I know you're scared and that it's becoming more and more difficult to be in whatever situation you're in, but you've got to stop going off on me. I want to help you. I want to help you so bad I was willing to come into a dark bathroom with you in the middle of the night. For you, it was trust and for me it was also trust. You could be doing some devilish things to me, but you don't."
"Would you like me to?"
"Shut up." I could almost see him grinning. "The fact of the matter is that when I ask a question, it's a legitimate question. When I'm inquiring about anything to do with you, I'm asking legitimately. I'm not toying with you or teasing you, I'm trying to gather answers. To move forward, I need you to please hold your temper and think about why I'm asking."
"I will try my hardest."
"In the mean time, I'll try to word things better. I know all this isolation has had an effect on you… For what it's worth, though, it was nice to see you."
"Sorry. Maybe when I feel my riddle is answered I can feel up to working out again-"
"You look fine the way you are, James." I said with a smile. "You're still hot."
He laughed a little. "Thanks… Flattery gets you everywhere. I should know. It was a specialty of mine."
"I honestly don't put it past you… I'll figure out the answer to your riddle, Jimmy."
"I know."
I smiled and left the bathroom, heading back upstairs.
When I got to my room, I threw myself onto my bed and put my face in my pillows, trying not to scream. OH MY GOD HE'S SO FUCKING HOOOOOT! I yelled in my head, kicking my feet. Seriously, everyone said he had gotten fat and I had never seen him close up or so clearly, so when I saw him in the mirror so close and clear and ah! His arms may have been covered in scars but dayum if they were not also still nice and muscular. Didn't get a chance to check out if he had abs, but I doubt it, but I don't care. His eyes were so kind and sad and… wait… he had scars on his face too… and his arms were bare and they had scars…
"Oh my god… he was buck ass naked behind me." I said, realizing what could have happened.
Then I got the giggles and giggled myself to sleep.
ah jimbo has such a way with the ladies. so now we know that even jimmy doesn't know what the hell he means. basically, actually, what he's wanting her to do is find out where he's been staying in the house. almost like if she finds his 'home' then she will understand better or something. almost like, yes, you officially do still live here. he's also just a bit cuckoo so i mean, who can trust him ◑.◑
