13 years ago…

The rain pattered on the roof in an endless down pour.

A little boy, messy black hair and simple clothes, an orphan, sat, perched in front of the window.

"'Ryuzaki?'" Someone called from behind. the boy turning to address the person reciting the title. "'Ryuzaki?' That is the name you use, right?"

He nodded, silently. The child, a girl, about his age, suddenly had a smile on her face. "Well that's great!" she continued, hands behind her back in a nervous sort of way, her cheeks flushed.

"Are you… sick?" Ryuzaki asked quietly, observing how pink her face was as she smiled at him.

"No, I just came to tell you something really important, but it's kind of embarrassing." she replied, watching her foot draw circles in the carpet.

The messy haired orphan eyed the girl curiously, looking for any signs of deceit or malicious intent. It wasn't the first time he'd had to look; the other kids here had never been kind to him.

"Before you tell me this embarrassing thing, tell me your name first. Could you do that for me?"

"Ah, of course, sorry, Ryuzaki. I use 'Audrienne.'"

"Oh. Well, thank you for being this nice so far… what was it you wanted to tell me, Audrienne?"

Her smile grew shy as he referred to earlier. Ryuzaki put a hand in his hair, now blushing as much as his acquaintance had been a moment ago.

She was silent still, but looked like she was trying to find the correct words and the motivation to say what was on her mind. Ryuzaki turned to watch the rain again, but she finally spoke.

"Well; I wanted to tell you I love you, Ryuzaki."

His feet lost grip of the silky cushion underneath his feet, and he slipped out of the window seat.

"Oh, um, I'm sorry, are you okay, Ryuzaki?!" Audrienne said, helping him up by his arm. "I know it's sorta weird to say that out of nowhere."

"You don't say." he replied, brushing himself off and rubbing out the small pain in his head. "Anyway, what do you mean by that?" she shifted on her feet, switching them as she thought.

"Well, I mean I want to be close to you, I think," She began, gently taking his hand. "Cause you're really cute but the other kids treat you bad."

"So you want to be my friend? Is that what you mean?" Ryuzaki replied, perplexed by this random confession and the emotion being conveyed.

"Nope. I want to be your girlfriend." she smiled, like this was the most natural thing in the world for a nine year old to tell another seven year old. "So let's date for a bit, okay, Ryuzaki?"

… Present Day

Ryuzaki felt warmth on his eyelids. Sun began to peek through as he opened his eyes. That's right… she was my first love. I don't know why I accepted back then… but I did.

It was morning. Light slept beside him, his face showing mixed dreams, not quite nightmares. No; it'd been far too long since Misa died for him to be so haunted. At least, it'd felt that way. In reality, it was only six months ago, but it had felt like ages. On that night, I thought I was dying… I thought I was going to meet the time controlling Shinigami again and watch him eat my soul, my free will, off a silver platter. Was it just the feeling of being alive that left me, when she died, and Light had to see that? Sighing, he got up from the bed, soundlessly, not wanting to take his friend from whatever rest he could get. I may not ever find an answer. I failed to fix our past, Yagami Light.

Starting his morning routine, he listed the changes since Misa's death. Light had resigned from his position in the police force, Ryuzaki had opted to give his position to his successor, who was, luckily for him, mature enough to handle it. Currently, the two were renting an apartment and splitting the expenses, working at the same coffee shop, attending university together, and just trying to survive, as they knew Misa would have wanted. They'd both become entirely numb to the ordeal, after the funeral, held only seventeen hours subsequent to her death. It was just after that they'd resigned from their professions. As crippling as it was to go through, saying goodbye to friends, neither had a choice. Their strength and pride were destroyed by the event, despite how well they managed to shove their feelings beyond surface reach.

Finishing with his shower, Ryuzaki dried off and reached for the clothes he'd left folded on the sink. He took a moment to look at himself in the mirror. He looked entirely the same as he had, before Misa died. Dark circles still lay under his eyes from his insomnia, his skin was still the colour of a fresh fallen snow, his stature and form were as tall and lean as the had been before. It was like her death hadn't affected him. His reflection revolted him; he knew he missed her, but looked, acted, and lived as he had when she was still alive to share her infectious joy.

Turning away from the mirror, Ryuzaki dressed and exited the bathroom, greeted by a half asleep Light, who slapped him a high five before entering to repeat the ex detective's actions. Ryuzaki headed to the kitchen, as it was his turn to make breakfast today. Igniting the gas stove, he took steak, an egg, a tomato from the fridge, and a pan from the lower cupboard beside it. Coating the pan in olive oil and cracking the egg into it, he set it on the stove. Cutting off a fourth from the pound of the meat he'd bought at the market, by Light's request, he began slicing the portion into cubes. He scraped them off the cutting board and into the pan once he finished, repeating this on the tomatoes. A small sense of peace began to come over him. Since Ryuzaki started cooking, with help from Light, at first, he'd found the repetition of actions, the scents, and the sounds of a cuisine in progress, to be therapeutic. A satisfaction, as he began, and finished, preparing food for his best friend. He could only link this to a genuine, if short lived, smile that would always curve Light's mouth, at the sight of hot meals from someone cared for.

Watching the meat began to brown, the egg start to take form, and the tomatoes crinkle slightly from the heat, he sprinkled some cayenne and ladled a light layer of cheese sauce on top. Taking a spatula from the utensil drawer, he lifted the bottom of the egg from the pan, peering under to check its progress. Just another thirty seconds… he thought with contentment, watching the sunny side up frittata finish frying on the lower half before flipping it. It was at this moment that the sound of a door opening, and footsteps approaching, came into ear shot. Light came into view, entering as he dried off the last traces of water in his slightly overgrown hair. He hadn't cut it for a while, so the chestnut locks were now thick enough to conceal his temples and draw one's attention to the upward movement of his cheeks as he smiled.

"It smells great in here, Ryuzaki." he said warmly. "What did you cook up for me today?"

"Oh, nothing special, I just put the steak you wanted me to buy to good use." the ex detective replied, eyeing the now finished frittata and sliding it onto a plate. Turning off the gas stove, he put the eggs and remaining meat back in the fridge, and opened its left door, peering into the freezer. Looking at the sweets stockpiled in it, he grabbed a frozen yogurt carton, (Light had made him promise to find some healthier alternatives to his usual vices) chocolate and black cherry, and sat down at the table with it. Watching Light eat, he removed the lid and stuck a spoon into the creamy dessert, digging out his portion and letting it melt on his tongue, as his friend began his own breakfast. Light looked up, from his meal to Ryuzaki, rolling his eyes playfully. "At least it's sweetened with vanilla stevia." The ex detective murmured back.

"Hey… Ryuzaki's not your real name, right?" Light prompted, his mind on his friend's more personal details. "I just realised we're close, but we don't really know that much about each other." he laughed nervously, cutting up his remaining food to distract from the awkward situation.

"Huh. You're right. Now that I think about it… no, it's not my real name." the sugar addict confessed, spooning more of the frozen yogurt into his mouth.

"What do you mean 'now that you think about it'? Did you forget your real name?" Light joked.

"No, but I suppose I don't have reason to hide it from you anymore, considering we live, eat, and sleep together now. Don't try anything clever with that last sentence. Well... our detective days have long since been over. My real name is Lawliet." Everything seemed to stand still, becoming almost entirely quiet. It was so quiet, in fact, you could have heard a needle drop. Light then burst out laughing.

"That's such a strange name, do all British people have names as funny as that?" Lawliet put up his left index finger to raise an objection, but thought better of it as he plopped another spoonful of the chocolate cherry goodness into his mouth,

"I wouldn't say so, but now that I'm using it after a while, it does sound pretty funny, you're right about that. I guess spending considerable time using a surname, with the purpose of living in a country you're not from, can do that to someone." Noticing he had eaten exactly the recommended serving size of his beloved frozen yogurt, he put it back in the fridge and observed Light as he washed up his dishes.

"Coffee from work, on me, while we walk to uni?" he offered, slipping into his shoes and throwing the jacket over the uniform the two were required to wear, and finished preparing as he slung his backpack over his shoulders.

"How nice of you, not that it'll cost much." Lawliet replied sarcastically, with a faint smile. He put on his own shoes and exited the apartment with his best friend. About halfway through the walk, the two stopped at their place of work, the Hikikomori Café. It was a quiet, small coffee shop, all built of mahogany and mud brick. As the two entered, Light greeted their supervisor, Izura Aizara, a friendly college graduate with dreams of opening her own coffee house. She said she wanted to make a home away from home for artists, poets, and novelists alike.

"What flavour of liquid motivation can I get you today?" she asked.

"Orange syrup in a straight espresso, plenty of it too." Lawliet mumbled.

"On it." She turned toward the object of her profession, pressing a few buttons, pulling a couple of levers, and the goliath coffee machine grumbled to life. Its espresso blend in the filter, its water beginning to heat up in the boiling compartment."What'll it be for you, Light?"

"Mazagran." he replied, referring to the Portuguese beverage of cold coffee and lemon juice, sweetened with brown sugar. With a smile, she set a pitcher of the liquid in front of him. "I figured you'd say that." she explained, pointing to the fridge behind her. "Help yourself."

"I guess I have to wait by myself now." L pouted, peeking over the tall, granite countertop like a curious child. He watched the coffee machine, and it had only just began to brew his drink, steam rising from its covered top. Light, pouring the desired amount of his drink into a cup from the pitcher set before him, also watched, ice cubes clinking against the clear plastic.

"No, uh, we can wait here together, we still have time before uni starts." he offered.

"Oh, that's kind of you, I was going to let you go ahead though."

"Just sit down you two, you're returning each others' kindnesses like a pair of newly weds." Izura spoke up, rolling her eyes and gesturing to the the table in the left corner of the room, closest to the monster of an espresso maker.

…

"Light? Are you okay?" Lawliet murmured with the spoon in his mouth. "You've uh… been staring at me for a little while now, and you have a pretty bothered look spreading over your face." hands on his knees and the faintest concern in his eyes, the boy looked up at his friend. That's right… we've been at lunch for the last twenty five minutes. I can't believe I let myself get so distracted just now! Light shook himself of his trance, cursing at his facial features silently for making it obvious he'd lost touch with his physical reality.

"Ah sorry, Lawliet. I just space out sometimes." the intelligent sugar addict seemed sceptical about this, but didn't question further, usual apathy present. He hadn't lost it, despite their closeness. "Call me strange, I've just always been this way." he added with a slight smile.

"Well if you say so. It's probably better if you take a break from thinking, once in a while." he replied, looking up at the clouds in the sky beginning to melt together and grow dark. "I know it's been sometime since... that happened, but you haven't fit your name lately."

"Well aren't you just as clever as always?"

"...Do you want to take a walk? I brought an umbrella." Lawliet prompted, holding up the plaid nylon.

"How did you know it would rain today?" Light asked, the first drops falling onto his face. Getting up from the chair, he trashed the last of his bento, its nattō disgusting him, though he'd eaten the sweet seaweed salad and the salmon strips, wrapped in nori.

"The wind felt sort of humid earlier, and I noticed your hackles were raised whenever you'd bend down to pick something up or lean closer to the paper to scribble in some answers on the assignments we were finishing." the drops hadn't taken long to reach a full on downpour. "It's not bio chemistry or anything." the ex detective replied with a shrug, still spooning what was left of his swirled parfait into his mouth. He seemed to be avoiding the fruit on purpose.I think I remember… he'd always eat his cake up first, not leaving a single crumb, and then he'd take the strawberries for last and eat them up.

Light thought absently, his mind becoming hazy with nostalgia and a growing Lawliet scraped up the last bit of vanilla yogurt and raspberry syrup with a handful of cherries, strawberries, and blueberries, Light felt his legs weaken, landing in a puddle of the past week's perpetual rain. Water splashed from his dress pants onto his shirt like a lake reacting to a large stone being dropped in it. Lawliet was in shock for a few moments. Slowly, he bent down beside his unconscious friend with the umbrella.

"Light…?" Nothing. His friend was out cold. Sighing, he put his umbrella back in his friend's backpack, not being able to multitask between assessing Light's condition through his sense of touch while holding the thing. He dragged the aforementioned boy onto a bench, propping him up and checking his vitals. His pulse was was just slow enough to cause paranoia, but seemed stable. His temperature was at least 5 degrees lower than the average person's, but not deathly cold. Lawliet took off the uniform jacket to hear just how slow the heart in Light's chest was beating. As he listened, the sound of the muscle contracting happened every five seconds. Stepping back, the material of his white shirt transparently clinging to his skin from the rain, revealed the ribcage, stretching and relaxing in its prison of flesh with each gradual breath.

Without a sound, Lawliet kicked a hole through the unoccupied half of the bench and propped his friend up on the top of it, his back resting against a lamp post. Hunching over even further than usual, he nudged Light's body with his elbow to get him to fall onto his shoulders, with the wet slap of soaked clothing. It wasn't hard to stand with Light on his back, he even managed to reach back with one arm to grab the umbrella and balance it between the back of his neck and his friend's, His head was on Lawliet's shoulder, cheeks cold and thin. He's emaciated… how can anyone lose a fifth of their mass and look so normal? I guess losing fifteen percent of your normal body weight only leaves subtle changes in appearance...that must be how I've gotten by for the last 10 years. He thought, clavicles heaving with a sad sigh.