165Hey All. I am in need of a story like this. A story where it is okay that the heroine can save herself. And in doing so she gets what she always wanted in the end. This is a huge friendship story between Penelope and Spencer, and realizing sometimes if you love something or someone you have to let it go and if it is meant to be it will come back to you.
Penelope put down her glass of water as she looked out onto the dance floor. As per usual, there he was. Derek Morgan was getting his groove thang on with every willing woman in the bar.
Eight years. Eight years is a long time to love someone and not have them love you back. She watched as one of his dancers threw their arms over his neck pulling him down for a fiery kiss.
She quickly turned to Reid who had been watching her. She smiled as bright as she could. "I think I am going to head home." She hopped off her stool and grabbed her bag.
Reid nodded as she turned to the rest of the team and said her goodbyes.
Penelope looked back at the dancefloor only to have her heart break a little more. That kiss had turned to all out grouping right on the dance floor. She pulled her bag closer to her chest as she weaved out of the swarm of people.
She made it home and threw her bag onto the couch before going to her kitchen and pouring a glass of wine. After a few minutes of sipping her wine, she made her way back to the living room where she curled her feet under her.
She sat there staring into space until she heard a knock at her door. She couldn't help the racing of her heart, thinking it could be Derek. After all she did leave without saying goodbye. Of course, he would show up to check on her.
She moved to the door and without looking through the peephole she opened the door, prepared to hug her Hot Stuff. Only to have her heart stop when instead, she saw Reid at her doorstep, with a bag in his hand.
She swallowed her pain and put on a smile. "To what do I owe this pleasure of your genius self at my doorstep?"
"I brought ice cream," he said, before moving past her into the living room.
"Not that I don't love ice cream." She motioned to her stomach. "Clearly. But why did you bring some over?"
Reid cocked his head to the side. "I think you just made a crack at your weight?"
She laughed a litte nervously. "Never."
"I brought some movies too. I figured because we have no case we can watch movies and eat ice cream," Reid said going into her kitchen to retrieve two bowls and spoons.
Penelope just stood there dumbfounded.
Just then she heard her phone beep. She couldn't help but feel the pang of excitement that it might be Derek telling her goodnight or asking where she went. She raced over to her phone only to see an email about a new video game that had come out. She looked at the time. It had been over an hour since she left the bar, there was no way he didn't know.
She clutched her phone to her chest as she tried to hide the hurt. Right now, she needed her game face on. For some ungodly reason, Reid had decided at this moment in time, he wanted to have a movie night with her.
A movie night… Something she used to do with Derek every week. Now… now she couldn't even remember the last time she had been alone with him.
Oh wait… two days ago, when he needed her to look something up for him. She sat back down onto the couch oblivious to the fact that Reid had returned and was now sitting next to her.
Penelope sat there, piecing it all together. She was only there when he needed something. She was only there when it was convent to him. When did it get this way? When had she allowed herself to be controlled by his attention? When had receiving any attention from him in any form became all that mattered? When did it go to, if he said jump, she'd say how high?
She felt a hand on her knee causing her to turn and look at Reid. She couldn't help the loan tear that fell. "I don't know when I changed?"
He nodded letting her continue.
"In the beginning it was equal. Our friendship was by far the best friendship I had ever had or will probably ever have. But somewhere along the way, I've been played. Reid…" Tears started to fall. "Eight years. Eight years is a long time to love someone. Someone that takes that love and uses it to their advantage."
"Do you really think Morgan would do that?" Reid asked softly.
"I gave him all of me, Spencer. Every ounce of me. I've never felt more comfortable with someone than I had him. He'd tell me I was beautiful. He'd look at me like I was the only person in the room. He'd text me and tell me I was the bright spot in his life. He made me feel like I was truly beautiful. He made me feel desired. And that's hard for someone who…" she whispered the next part as she turned from him, "… looks like me."
"Penelope…"
"He knows I'm in love with him. Everyone knows I'm in love with him. He made me fall in love with him. His words, his actions, his everything. He made me fall in love with him. It was like a game to him." She grabbed her glass of wine and took a gulp.
"You know, Reid, once about three years ago, we were both a little drunk. We were laughing and joking and do you want to know what he asked me?"
Reid shook his head.
"He asked me if I was falling in love with him. I was shocked at first. I thought that this was our moment. The moment where he finally decided he was in love with me too. So, I said, "And what if I am?" All he did was smile like I had just given him the best gift of his life. Do you want to know what happened after that?"
Reid stayed silent never taking his eyes off of her.
"The next day was the first day he used my love to get what he wanted. He needed me to make reservations at a restaurant that was always booked. I thought he was doing it for us, but as it turns out he had a date. But I did it, I did it because of that smile he gave me after I told him I was in love with him."
She reached for her phone that was on the table, and of course there was nothing from Derek.
"He went home with her, didn't he?" she asked not bothering to look at Reid. She already knew the answer.
Reid moved closer to her putting his arm around her. "I'm here for you. Just like you were here for me."
She turned into his shoulder. "I don't want to love him anymore. I don't want the memories of him looking at me like I'm the only person in the world. I don't want to remember how it felt when he made me feel like I really was the most beautiful person in this world. I don't want to love him, Reid. I don't ever want to love again."
Reid held her as she realized that eight years was long enough to love someone that didn't love them back. Tonight, with Reid's help she was going to mourn her loss, and tomorrow she was going to try and start her life over again. A life where love would not play a part.
AN: Want more?
