Disclaimer: None of the characters herein belong to me. Given that this is the kind of thing I do with hot-blooded shounen anime, it's for the better that they aren't mine.
Author's Note: Playing fast and loose with style, so I apologize if it's hard to follow - it's basically a monologue, insofar as we only get to hear one voice out of the conversation and fill in the rest. ALSO, I'm kind of thinking of doing a recording/podfic of this at some point?

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Have I ever been in love?

Oh boy, are you askin' the wrong person! Me? Really? I'm free as a bird! I mean, ask the gals, they'll tell ya. I'm nowhere near settling down like any of you guys, if that's what you're asking–

Okay, that's not what you're asking. Then why's it matter? Obviously nothing's ever worked out.

You just wanna know if I'm capable, is that it? If I can even make a lasting connection? 'Cause it's not really anyone's business, all right? Look, if I wanted, I could find someone else–

Else? Someone. Someone.

Fine, you got me.

Wha– No, this isn't about Rain! Swear to God it's not! Yeah, I flirted with her a little, but I flirt with everyone a little! I don't know what you think you've noticed since the Fight, but that's not it, and I don't need anyone thinking I'm trying to muscle in on anything, all right?

Of course you don't believe me.

Look, Rain is great. She's a knockout beauty - anyone with eyes can see that! - and she's basically a genius, and she's caring and understanding and I really owe a lot to her. But I'm not in love with her.

There's been someone, you're not wrong. I've had that person who could light me up like the Fourth of July just by lookin' my way. I know what it's like to feel like everything's a little bit better just because that one person is in it. I've gotten those encouragements, in victory and defeat and no reason at all, and even when my winning would mean their losing - and I've been left seeing stars every time. I've been on a shared wavelength with someone else, I've had that bone-deep connection you just can't shake, I've met the person I'm damn near convinced is my twin flame.

They've found what they need, and it isn't me.

That convincing enough for you?

Fine, lemme spell it out for you! It's not Rain, it's Domon, all right? Go ahead and laugh. I know you want to!

...Oh god. Please laugh at me. Because right now you're giving me the pity look, and that's even worse.

Well, at least I know you won't say anything.

Which is more than I can say for certain people who I know are listening. Take your sweet time showing up, then don't let anyone know you're here, right? Come on over to the table, Sai. We saved you a seat. You too, Argo. I can see your twenty-foot cast shadow.

I don't know how much you guys heard, but none of it leaves this table.

…Jesus, Sai, of course he doesn't know! The Shuffle Alliance hasn't imploded yet, has it? If he ever found out, you guys would know, believe me! Boy, would I be a sorry sight - he'd break my heart, and probably break my jaw to match! And then there's the elephant in the room, or did you forget that Domon and Rain literally saved the universe with the power of their love? 'Does he know', jeez!

Yes, it's been a while-

-Yes, during the Fight-

-No, I'm bi-

-Yes, I've always been bi-

-No, that doesn't mean I'm after both of them! I'm not after anyone!

Yes, I meant all that stuff I said. Yes, in love. Yes, it sucks, and I'll get over it. Now can we stop talking about D–

D-

Domon! It's about damn time you showed! You save humanity one time, and suddenly you don't have to be on time for anything, right? Wha–-

Okay, ya caught me. I was talking about you. I may as well confess now… I'm jealous. You've got it all - the victory, the adoration of millions, your dreams accomplished, the love of your life…

Nah, I didn't actually mean anything by it. I'm not mad. Like I said, just jealous. You know me! You know how this goes! I just… I'm just a sore loser. Especially when it comes to you. Nothing new. That's how this friendly rivalry works, right?

…Now come over here, King of Hearts, and take your throne already so we can get this party started!