35Poison Ivy stretched out her arms as she relaxed on the hammock of vines she'd created for herself.
Just her, a nature documentary and a bottle of wine.
And then she heard the knocking on the door.
She hated unexpected visitors. Slowly, she lowered herself to the ground and headed over to the door, flinging it open… only for no-one to be there.
"Auntie Ivy?"
Looking down, she frowned at the sight of Jesse. His eyes were red, like he'd been rubbing them to remove all evidence of tears.
"Hey!" The smile on his face was clearly forced, as he pushed his way inside, sitting in front of the TV, running his hands through his dirty blond hair.
"Jesse… what's wrong?" She knelt next to him, "Are you hurt? What happened?" Scanning him from head to toe, she couldn't see anything too concerning.
"No, I just- " Jesse scowled, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away.
He looked pretty shaken, wearing a lime green t-shirt and boxers. She knew the kid could handle himself, being the son of a psychopath after all, but she's never seen him like this before.
"Are you sure?"
Jesse nodded, and there was silence for a few moments, before his face twisted into a snarl and he yelled, "I HATE HIM!"
Ivy could have guessed that's what this would be about.
"Joker?"
"He's a jerk!"
"What has he done this time?" Mentally, she was preparing to have to rescue Harley again…. it had been a long time since they'd had some 'girl time' together.
Silence.
"Don't make me call Harley."
"I don't care."
"Suit yourself." Using one set of vines to keep Jesse at bay, she went through her contacts list, tapping on Harley.
"Not a good time Green!"
Oh, it was never a good thing when Harley was THIS upset.
Joker must have really messed up this time.
"Sorry Harls, I just wanted to tell you that Jesse was here and- "
"- HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!"
Ivy frowned as she heard someone snatch the phone off of Harley, a brief struggle ensuing before Joker's voice came over the speaker.
"We'll be right there," and then there was the dial tone.
Ivy turned her attention to a still-struggling Jesse, before sighing wearily.
There goes her peaceful evening.
….…
Over an hour passed before there was a knock on the door, and Jesse had eaten through all of her chocolate supply. She opened the door as Joker and Harley came charging through, the pair of them scanning the room until they saw Jesse frozen on the sofa.
"I'm sorry for this Greeny." Harley sighed, as Joker stormed over to their son.
"This little tantrum is over!" The psychopath snarled, "We're going home."
"Nobody's going anywhere." Ivy sighed, vines tightening until they pulled everyone into a seated position, "Now, what happened?"
"I was in the middle of the perfect heist, when Junior here started to mouth off, refusing to shut up! The Batman heard him and ruined everything! We only just managed to escape, so I gave him a spanking! Is that so bad?!" Joker spread his arms out wide, "And then he ran away!"
"Okay." Ivy then turned to a furious looking Jesse, "Jesse? What do you say happened?"
"What are you asking him fo- UMPH!"
Seeing that Harley had her lover under control, Ivy raised an eyebrow at Jesse.
"You asked me what the next step should be!" Jesse yelled at his Dad, "You're just upset because my idea was better!"
Joker's glare darkened. "I am the adult." He hissed, "My ideas are always better!"
"Bullshit! I just wanted to help!" Jesse frowned, "Next time, I hope the Batman takes you away! Then it'll just be me and Mummy!"
"Why you little- "
Before Joker could reach out and grab him, Harley grabbed his wrist, practically flinging him across the room.
"Don't you dare touch him!" Harley screamed, "Don't you fucking- "
"- Alright, enough!" Ivy threw her hands into the air, "Joker, out! Come back when you've calmed down!"
"You can't just- AAH!"
The door slammed shut, as vines barricaded it…. Followed by the sound of barely restrained screaming as Joker hurled abuse at them.
He was summarily ignored.
"Jesse." Harley turned to her son, frowning as she folded her arms over her chest sternly, "You shouldn't have run off like that. I know you got that nice knife as a birthday present, but we didn't know where you were!"
"That was the point." Jesse's voice was small, a sharp contrast to how he'd spoken to his Father, "It was either here or Uncle Penguin's and he doesn't like me staying there for too long."
Neither did she, but Ivy wasn't about to say that out loud.
"I just want a normal family." Jesse muttered, taking a seat on the sofa and curling in on himself.
Harley didn't seem to know what to say to this, glancing over at Ivy, who seemed to be in just as much shock.
What could they say to that?
…
With Joker taking his frustrations out on some poor henchmen in other part of the city, Harley and Jesse were able to go back home, with Jesse rushing to his room and locking the door as soon as they stepped over the threshold.
"What do I do Liam?" Harley asked the young man, who had been patiently waiting for them.
The one time he took a night off.
"The fighting's getting worse between them, and I think… Mista J might actually kill him next time. Should we just sign him over to an orphanage or something? Let a nice family take him."
"No nice family would want him." Liam sighed, "Not one day has gone by without him brandishing a knife at someone…. Mostly me, let's be honest."
"He hasn't stabbed you yet!"
"I changed his nappies, he wouldn't dare."
Harley giggled, before the smile fell from her face. "I just… don't know what to do then."
