1Set in some wonderful, non-specific post-show AU where happy Locktie is a reality.
For anyone who's curious, my headcanons involve ace!Neil, lacking sexual characteristics!Tieria, and an utterly dysfunctional romantic relationship between the two of them that slowly evolves into something, and neither is sure what it is, exactly, but it's them, and they decide that that's perfectly fine.
Everyone else is really, really confused.
Inspired by All This And Heaven, Too by Florence + the Machine.
Aubade: a love song sung at dawn
—-—
Lockon realizes, one day, that they've never said I love you.
It's silly; after all they've been through, after everything they've sacrificed for each other, it should be obvious—shouldn't need to be said out loud. But despite everything Lyle's ever said about his interests in settling down, there's some romantic corner of his heart that's telling him that they should say it, if only to have it out in the open—if only to tell Tieria (brilliant, wonderful, thick as a stone wall Tieria) exactly how he feels.
And, anyhow, he thinks his parents would have approved, and he thinks Amy would have been over the moon to meet her brother's significant other—and so he decides, one night, to take the plunge.
He says it quietly into Tieria's hair, curled around him in their too-narrow shared bed on the Ptolemy. It's dark, and he can barely see the outline of Tieria's head and shoulders against his collarbone, but it's quiet and peaceful, and he feels the sudden urge to say it. It slips past his lips quietly, quickly, as more of a breath, and when Tieria doesn't say anything at first, Lockon thinks maybe he didn't hear at all.
He shouldn't be expecting anything in response, of course. That would be incredibly presumptuous of him, to think that this man (who has always struggled with his emotions) would be able to say these words back so readily when Lockon realizes that he may never have said them in his life. But he does not expect, either, that Tieria would stiffen in his arms after that moment of pause, and he frowns down at the top of his head in the darkness, asking what's the matter.
"Nothing," Tieria says quickly, a little too, and Lockon's frown deepens—but he eventually decides that it's too late to press such a subject. He only hugs Tieria a bit tighter, wishes he knew why he was still stiff as a board, and allows himself to drift into slumber.
He says it a few more times over the weeks, always when they're alone, always when the mood strikes him (though he doesn't say it every time; otherwise, it'd probably be several times a day). Tieria always adopts a funny sort of look on his face, and never responds—positively or negatively—and Lockon's not really sure what to make of this.
Then he says it again one night, half asleep, suddenly fond of the way Tieria breathes, of the way Tieria's hair tickles his own collarbone. He accompanies it with a squeeze of their hug, as he usually does, but this time, Tieria squirms in his grip, turning to face Lockon with the little frown on his face that he's so fond of.
"I don't understand," he says, halfway between imperious and embarrassed, and Lockon is just sleepy enough that he only attempts to pull Tieria into his chest again.
"I've said it enough," he says, tries not to let the small amount of hurt through that Tieria has not even acknowledged the admissions. "Is there an Innovator language I should try instead?"
"Lockon," Tieria says sharply, and he wakes a little, at that, because he seems honestly serious about this. "I don't understand what you mean when you say that."
Lockon blinks a couple of times, tries to process this—comes up empty. "I mean exactly what I said," he says slowly. "It's all right if you don't feel the same way... I mean—"
"What does it mean that you love me?" Tieria asks, nearly desperate in his tone, and Lockon realizes in sudden horror exactly what he's claiming not to know.
"It's—" he stumbles, because how could anyone put such a feeling into words? "It means that I care about you a great deal, that I'd do anything for you. That you're one of the most important people in my life."
He's sure his cheeks are burning a bright, bright red in the darkness, but if Tieria sees, he doesn't say anything about it. "You haven't told Allelujah or Setsuna or any of the others that you love them," he says eventually, frowning, and Lockon blinks.
"I—do love them," he says, because it's the truth, but—"But I love you—differently, if that makes sense."
Tieria makes a frustrated noise in his throat that indicates immediately that it does not. "Is this that 'romance' nonsense you talked about, months ago?" he waves a hand vaguely out to the side.
Lockon snorts, at that. "If we're not romantically involved, then I don't know that anyone is."
Tieria's frown deepens at that, but he evidently decides not to press the subject. "I know you care for me," he says after a moment, and Lockon's heart leaps. "I care for you in the same way, of course—why do you see the need to say it aloud?"
Lockon pauses, because—well—he just does. "It's nice to have a reminder every once in a while," he says eventually, and Tieria is silent. "I can stop, if you'd like."
"No," Tieria says, quickly, and Lockon feels something swell in his chest. "It just—it seems very superfluous."
"Sure it is," Lockon says with a grin. "I've been telling you, that's what humanity is all about."
Tieria seems to accept this, after a moment, because he burrows more deeply into their shared pillow. "I love you," he says after a moment, quietly, as if testing it out, and Lockon's grin grows impossibly wider, pulling Tieria to his chest and resting his chin on the top of his head.
"I love you too."
