2"A warm welcome to all you listeners who've just tuned in. You're listening to the sizzlin' sounds of RWBY City Radio, and let me tell ya, that the forecast for today is hot, hot, HOT!"
"Ooooooooooh yeah...!"
Rt presents...
A fusion fic...
RWBY City
Undercover
"I used to think maybe I'm lonely, now baby I'm sure...
And I just can't wait till you take a gun-scythe to my door...
Mirror tell me something... whoa-oh!
Mirror tell me something... whoa-oh!
Mirror tell me something... whoa-oh-oh-oh!
Why don't I feel good?
Hey!
Allll right-now..."
With a whoosh of air and a crackle of plastic, Myrtenaster reduced the radio to its component bricks, some of which inevitably collided with Weiss's person. Stowing the rapier, she watched with absolutely no satisfaction as the brick tally on her HUD trickled up by a few points.
"I hate that song," she explained to the ship's captain, who was the only other person in the room.
The captain - let's not be coy about this, he's the Dust shop guy - raised an eyebrow at her questioningly.
"Of course it's me," said Weiss irritably, "that's why I hate it."
Deciding that it would be best to change the subject, the captain gestured out the front window at the impending RWBY City skyline.
Weiss looked vaguely upward, her eyes glistening with flashbacks. "An old acquaintance... A promise to keep..." Her brow furrowed. "A score to settle."
Shaking his head rapidly, the captain pulled out a paper and pen, brandishing them purposefully.
Weiss grinned mischievously. "Maybe neither; maybe both."
The captain slapped his forehead with the paperwork.
Suddenly, the boat jerked, sending them both tumbling to the ground. A loud, metallic scraping noise indicated nothing good.
As they both climbed back to their feet, the captain waved his hand dismissively and took hold of the wheel. Yanking it to the right, he pulled the ship away from whatever it had hit.
Weiss was certain that she heard a Wilhelm Scream from somewhere out on the deck.
Turning to look back at her, the captain smiled widely. Then he heaved the top of the wheel left and let go, causing it to make several full rotations. Weiss toppled over again.
This time, along with screams, there came splashes, crashes, and police sirens. It felt like the boat turned at least ninety degrees in less than its own length of forward motion.
Weiss, lying flat on her back, spotted a loading crane through the window. They were at the dock.
"- have my father yank your license and buy every boat you've ever set foot on just to crush them into scrap!" Weiss ranted passionately as she made her way down the ramp. The captain shook his fist angrily in reply.
Turning to look where she was going, Weiss spotted the mayor and his entourage standing mere feet away. She stopped, brushed the dust off of her skirt, took a deep breath, and forced on a smile. Then she continued toward them.
"Mayor Ozpin," she greeted as she arrived, and she performed a polite curtsy.
Ozpin wore a small but more sincere smile as he stared down at her. "Thank you again for returning to us, Miss McCain. I understand how difficult this must be for you."
Glancing moodily back at the ship captain, Weiss muttered, "You don't know the half of it."
Ozpin looked slightly amused by this, but chose not to comment on it. In a contemplative tone, he instead began, "I'll... keep this brief. Rex Torchwick has escaped and is at large in RWBY City."
"What?!" said Weiss, knocking down a random passerby with a dramatic hand swipe. "Is Ruby okay?"
"Miss Qrowalski is fine for the time being," Ozpin replied. "She's under witness protection. However, given her, ahm..." The mayor shifted the position of his cane while searching for the right words.
"Complete lack of social skills and disregard for her own safety?" Weiss suggested.
"For a start," Ozpin nodded. "The sooner we put this matter to rest, the safer she, and the rest of the city, will be."
Weiss stroked her chin nervously. "Can I at least talk to her?"
"I will make the necessary arrangements," said Ozpin. "But if you truly wish to protect Ruby, you must find Rex Torchwick and bring him to justice." He paused for effect before adding, "Again."
The mayor turned and took several steps toward his limousine, but then stopped to look back at Weiss again. "Miss McCain, this city is in the grip of a crime wave."
As he spoke, several men swept in and swiftly removed the tires from the limo, running off in the short time it took him to turn toward the car again. The last one briefly returned to rip the clothes off of the chauffeur, who then attempted to hide his underwear from view behind his top hat.
"Really?" said Weiss sarcastically. "I hadn't noticed."
Ozpin, looking at her once more, again appeared more amused than upset at the display. "The rise in criminal activity coincides with Torchwick's escape." Then his expression and tone turned more serious. "I trust you to put an end to this, Weiss. But first, please check in at the station."
Weiss nodded. "Of course, sir."
Ozpin, for some reason, climbed into the wheel-less limousine. The chauffeur, looking very confused, hurried inside as well, and the car took off, bumping and scraping along the ground as the axles tossed around the bricks that they had been balanced on. Somehow, this resulted in enough forward motion for the car to drive away.
Watching it move off the dock and onto the pavement, Weiss spotted a police car parked there. She began walking toward it, and determined it to be empty.
Weiss cracked her knuckles as she approached. "Finders keepers," she said smugly.
Weiss pulled what remained of the car into the station's parking lot. Stepping off of what amounted to a flat piece with only the steering wheel, tires, and exposed engine still attached, she spared a glance back at the road behind her.
Detached bricks were scattered everywhere, those furthest away flashing and about to disappear. Portions of cars lay overturned along either side of the road, many crushing decorative shrubbery, one wrapped around a tree and another sticking out of the broken window of a shop. Fountains of water sprouted where fire hydrants used to be. One particularly unfortunate man hung by one hand from the giant rotating donut in front of the Pumpkin Pete's bakery next door to the station, his legs flailing uselessly. As Weiss watched, a dented street lamp fell over into the middle of the road, its light bulb letting off a terrific spark as it broke upon impact.
Weiss turned back to the station, smiling at how much her driving had improved since she had left the city. "Not - too - shabbeh," she said to herself encouragingly.
