203Disclaimer: Copyright, profit, ownership: these things do not belong to me.
Author's Note: Somewhere in the back of my mind is the idea that I should write a tag for every episode. But some are definitely less inspiring than others. So I'm grateful for any spark of inspiration, however unlikely! Since I have less time to write these days and have another multi-chapter going, these tags will likely be short.
Redemption
"You're not a detective," Bosco said, with the air of someone delivering a coup de grace. "You're a victim."
Jane concealed his recoil, maintaining his cool until the man left. He wouldn't let on how hard that word hit him.
Victim. It was much too close to the other labels he'd learned as a small boy that were meant for other people: sucker, mark, rube. His father had always drilled into him that if he wanted to be successful—and thus lovable—he must never, ever, be like the gullible sheep they fleeced.
To be a victim would mean he hadn't been smart enough, careful enough. Which was true, of course. He'd been an arrogant idiot, and his family had paid the price. But they were the victims. Not him.
He was the avenger.
Bosco would see that, with time. Jane would prove it to him and to everyone. He was more than an entertainer, more than the grief-stricken widower and bereaved father Bosco saw when he looked at him. Those were part of who he was, sure. They always would be.
But he refused to be defined by his losses. He chose instead to be defined by his quest to rid the world of an evil serial killer—plus bringing to justice whatever other criminals might cross his path in the meantime. He would uphold the law while it helped him find the man he needed to kill.
In Bosco's neat world of black and white, good and bad, people were one thing or another. That was why he couldn't see Jane for what he was. He couldn't distinguish the varied shades of grey in his identity.
It was a mystery to Jane what Lisbon saw in the man. There was a brutal streak in him, exposed as he taunted Jane with his own statements in the police interviews, made during that horrible black time of shock and loss and self-loathing. Most of the cops Jane had met sympathized with those who lost loved ones; Bosco seemed to be casting blame. Well deserved perhaps, but Jane was not about to allow a stranger the right to judge him.
How had his life at CBI turned upside down so quickly? All because he wanted to close the small cases quickly to leave more time for his hunt? It made no sense to him. Minelli was bowing to political pressure, and worse, he'd made Lisbon worry that she'd gone soft. She was doubtless going to try to hold him to the rules she'd decreed by the seaside eating strawberries. It would make his life less fun until she relaxed.
Speaking of Lisbon, it was time to get back to reminding her why she kept him around. He could tease her a little and regain his equilibrium, get rid of the sour mood Bosco had put him in. Then he'd put the finishing touches on the case and wrap it up neatly for her so they could get on to better things.
Jane squared his shoulders, summoned a smile, and left the rooftop cafe to go meet Lisbon at Jaffe Printing.
mmm
"If you sit down by a riverbank and wait long enough, you will see the bodies of your enemies float by." He'd always loved the quote, and it served nicely to annoy Lisbon. He was sure she didn't believe he was resigned to Bosco having the Red John case, but it was true he had no plan to fix the situation yet. He would wait. Something would come to him.
He did end up solving the case by waiting, as it happened. His Miles Thorsen gambit worked a treat. And one more family got some closure. Jane stayed on his side of the bullpen while Lisbon and Van Pelt walked them through it and showed them the video, using the distraction to launch his campaign to harass Bosco. He knew Bosco wouldn't bend to his will merely to stop petty annoyances, but it would keep him on edge, remind him that Jane had talents that could be put to better use.
He was not a victim. He might not be a detective, but he knew how to get what he wanted. And he would.
He accomplished his purpose of changing Bosco's passcode just as the family got up to leave, but he stayed on the phone looking busy so no one would try to thank him. Once the coast was clear, he headed to Lisbon's office.
"No case closed pizza?" he asked.
"Maybe tomorrow. It's late," she replied.
Van Pelt stuck her head in the office doorway. "Hey, Boss. My report's done."
Lisbon stretched out her hand to take the file. "Great. Why don't you go on home, then?"
"Thanks." She smiled and turned to go.
"Van Pelt?"
"Yes?"
"You did good work on this case." Lisbon didn't smile, but she was sincere.
Van Pelt lit up like she'd just been handed a bouquet. "Thanks. Good night, Boss, Jane."
"Goodnight," they chorused as she left.
Jane smiled, seating himself on the red couch, which had definitely seen better days. "Van Pelt the Victorious," he chuckled.
"She's coming along," Lisbon replied.
"And the management book you're reading said a little encouragement can produce heightened motivation," Jane added.
"No."
"Liar."
"I'm not lying," she retorted. After a pause, she admitted, "It was the book before this one."
"Ah. Well, it was right. Though I don't know why you read all those books when you have an expert available for advice on these matters," he said.
"True. But Minelli's a busy man," she replied.
Jane chuckled. "Care for a cup of tea? I think I'll brew a pot."
"No, thanks. I'm heading home in a bit." She typed something, frowning at her screen.
Jane wasn't ready for her to go. He was sure he could convince her to stay if he hit on the right conversational topic.
"It's nice, isn't it?" he mused. "When people get answers to their questions. When they can find out what their deceased loved one was thinking."
"Yeah. If only all our murder victims had the foresight to record a goodbye video," Lisbon said, only half joking.
What would Angela have said in a video, he wondered. Or Charlotte? She would have been full of instructions about looking after her dolls, perhaps. He was sure Angela would have urged him to go straight, live a good life, maybe find love again.
Well, at least he'd done the first part. Sort of.
"If everyone kept a goodbye video up to date, I could never have made a living as a psychic."
Lisbon looked at him, eyebrows raised. "I guess that's true. What else would you have done?"
"I was no good at acrobatics," he said thoughtfully. "I could have ended up an elephant trainer, I guess." How different a life he would have led. Would Angela have been swayed by an elephant trainer's charm? Maybe. "What about you?"
"Me?"
"If your mom had left a video, would it have changed things?"
She frowned as she thought it over. "Maybe we would have felt a little better. But I doubt it. We knew she loved us. It was never in question. And my dad had to know she wouldn't have wanted him to crawl into a bottle."
Jane made sure his tone was gentle as he asked, "Would it have helped if your dad had left one to explain himself?"
She shrugged. "No. I would still have been furious with him."
"But maybe you wouldn't have felt so guilty about leaving home."
"I didn't."
"Yes, you did. That's why you get that line between your eyebrows every time you talk to your brothers."
She rolled her eyes, but he could see he'd hit home. Her sharp tone confirmed it. "I already have to talk to one shrink a week. I don't need you trying to get into my head too."
He grinned. "No need to worry, Lisbon. My intentions are honorable."
"Uh huh." She turned off her computer and stood. "Good night, Jane."
"Good night, Lisbon."
She paused in the doorway, looking back at him. "Leave Bosco alone, Jane. Seriously. You're not going to convince him to let you in on the case."
"O ye of little faith." He gave her his cockiest grin. "See you in the morning."
Then she was gone, and he was left to ponder her warning. Maybe she had a point. Bosco was a tough nut to crack.
But his team might not be.
Jane grinned as he got up and headed for his couch. Tomorrow was shaping up to be a fun day.
